"Well honey, I told you that something like this might happen when you two got together. You have to be able to get along with him for Adam's sake."
"I know. You're right. I'll be there. Who else is coming?"
"Too many people to count."
Great.
"Can you do me a favor and tell everyone that Shane and I are divorced but don't want to talk about it? I can't spend the entire time explaining what happened."
"Of course, honey. The only one you'll have to worry about is your aunt Teri, and I'll have a talk with her beforehand. Don't worry about it."
"Thanks, dad. I love you."
"Love you too, pumpkin. See you tomorrow."
Kaine hung up the phone. "Dammit," she muttered. She had been doing a good job in keeping her interactions with Shane as minimal as possible. Spending an entire day with him was going to be hell. She drove to Bryce's condo, trying to calm her nerves. This was the worst part of her week. She hated being forced to interact with Shane, even for a few minutes. She was still mad at him from when she had caught him spying on her last week, and wasn’t looking forward to seeing him. Looking into his eyes was a reminder of how horribly he had hurt her, and the fact that he still wouldn’t admit it was infuriating.
She pulled into the driveway, her heart pounding. "Come on, sweetie," she said as she unstrapped Adam. He sprinted toward the door as Kaine grabbed his bag and followed slowly behind. She heard Shane’s voice before she saw him. "Hey, buddy. Look how big you got!" She sighed and headed inside. Might as well get it over with. "Hey," she said quietly to Shane.
"Hi," he said, staring at her.
She avoided his gaze. "Is Bryce here?"
"He's in the living room. Listen, Kaine..."
"Thanks," she said, brushing by him. She walked quickly to the living room. "Hi, Bryce."
He stood up and kissed her cheek. "Hi Kaine. How's it going?"
She smiled. "I'm hanging in there. Listen, I wanted to thank you for letting Adam come here for the weekends. I know it's not your ideal situation."
"Please, it's no problem. I love that little guy."
"How's Shane doing?" She asked quietly.
He shrugged. "Not great, honestly. He's devastated. I've never seen him like this. He just works and spends most of his free time at the gym."
Kaine's heart sank. "You don't think he's using steroids again, do you?"
"No, not at all," he quickly assured her. "He's just angry. He keeps saying he didn't do anything wrong."
"Do you believe him?"
He blew out a breath. "I want to. I mean, he's my best friend. But what reason would Jessica have to make something like that up?"
"I wish I knew. Listen, just try to keep him in line, ok? I'm afraid he's going to get drunk and go out looking for fights again."
"Don't worry. He's in good hands." He hugged her tightly. "I'll see you tomorrow at your parents' party?"
"See you then. Thanks again, Bryce." She went to the kitchen and crouched down, hugging Adam. "I’ll see you in a few days. Be good for daddy, ok?"
"Kay, mommy. Love you."
"Love you too, peanut. Bye, Shane."
"Bye, babe."
Kaine winced at his nickname for her. Somehow, it seemed inappropriate now. She ignored it and drove home. She pulled into her driveway and trudged inside, flopping on the couch. Weekends were the worst. She had no motivation to do anything, so she usually ordered a pizza and laid on the couch watching movies. Sometimes Lucy came over, but she had her own family now. Layla had come over once, and as much as Kaine loved her, they were two very different people. All Layla wanted was for Kaine to put on some hooker heels and go to bars and try to meet guys. That was the last thing Kaine wanted to do. Laying around and wallowing in self pity was working out just fine for her, besides the fact that she was starting to gain weight. She had put on about ten pounds in the past month. She wasn’t fat, just a little curvier. She wanted to exercise, but had no ambition anymore. It was like her mental exhaustion was turning into physical exhaustion. She yawned and closed her eyes, letting herself fall asleep.
On Saturday, Kaine pulled into her dad's massive driveway, glancing around. Cars were lined up the street. She took a deep breath and got out of her car, smoothing her dress. She had taken her time getting ready, curling her hair and pinning it back. She was wearing more makeup than usual, and she had bought herself a new pink dress for the party. It had been a long time since she put effort into her appearance, but despite her trepidation at seeing Shane, she felt better than she had in awhile.
She walked up the driveway with her head held high. There were about 60 people in the yard, and Kaine recognized most of them. She spotted her aunt Teri and uncle Kevin talking to her father.
May as well get this over with.
"Hi, aunt Teri. Hi, uncle Kevin!" She exclaimed, giving both of them a hug.
"Kaine! Hi, sweetie! How are you?" Teri cried.
"I'm good, aunt Teri. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I heard you and Shane got a divorce. That must be so horrible for you."
Seriously?
"I'm ok, aunt Teri. I don't really want to get into it."
"Oh, no, of course you don't. You just let me know if you need anything, ok sweetie?"
"Sure. Thanks," Kaine said, walking away quickly. Hopefully, that was the worst part of the day. She broke into a smile when she spotted her father holding Adam. "Hi, peanut!" She exclaimed, holding out her arms.
"Mommy!" He cried, holding out his little arms to her. She took him from her father and squeezed him. "I missed you. What did you and daddy do this weekend?"
"They helped me and Nancy decorate the yard," Tom said proudly. "He was a great helper."
"It's he here?" Kaine asked, looking around nervously.
"He's around somewhere. You're going to have to deal with him, Kainie. You can't avoid him forever."
"Yeah, I know. It's just hard. Maybe over time it'll be better, but right now it's really rough." Adam rubbed his eyes and rested his head on her shoulder. "I'm gonna put him in his room for an N-A-P. I'll be back in a bit." She carried him inside and up the stairs, almost gasping for breath when she reached the top. She couldn't believe how big he was getting. She gently lowered him to the bed.
"I don't want to take a nap," he protested.
"You don't have to," she assured him. "Can I just read you a book?"
"Ok, mommy," he said sleepily. She grabbed a particularly boring book and started reading. He was asleep before she finished reading it once. She turned on the baby monitor and quietly closed the door. She jogged down the stairs and froze when she saw Shane standing in the kitchen, drinking a beer.
"Hey," she said, giving him a small smile.
"Hi babe," he said, leaning against the counter. "Do you want a drink?"
She shrugged and he opened the refrigerator, pulling out a beer. He twisted off the cap and handed it to her. "So how've you been?"
"Fine," she said softly. "How are you?"
"Fine."
She took a sip of her beer and studied her nails. Being around Shane was awkward. She had no idea what to say to him.
"Are you seeing anyone?"
She laughed. "What, you mean since you asked me that question last week? No, still not seeing anyone. We've only been divorced for a month."
He visibly relaxed and smirked at her. "Good."
She rolled her eyes. As if it were any of his business anyway. "Are you seeing anyone?" She countered.
He shook his head. "Bryce set me up on a blind date, but it was a disaster. She was a short brunette and dumb as a post. I'm not sure what he was thinking."
She burst out laughing. "Layla set me up too. He was a typical 'I have money so I don't need a personality' guy. He got so drunk that I had to drive him home. I'd say I don't know what she was thinking either, but I'm actually not surprised, considering her history with men. I don't know what I was thinking, letting her set me up. It was the worst date I'v
e ever been on."
He snorted. "Didn't you go out with Camden Lawson?"
The smile fell from her face. "Once. So you helped with the yard?" She asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah. It wasn't nearly as bad as last time. Remember cleaning up the yard for the wedding? That was a nightmare."
She smiled softly, looking out the window. "We did a good job though. The wedding was beautiful."
"That was the third best day of my life."
"Why?" She asked, watching the guests mingle in the yard. She hadn't heard him come up behind her until she felt him press against her.
"That was the day I finally got to have you," he whispered in her ear.
She closed her eyes. "What were the first two?"
"Marrying you and the day Adam was born."
She spun around and stared up at him. "Shane..."
"Shh," he whispered, putting his finger to her lips. "You look so beautiful, Kainie."
She shook her head and pushed his hand away. "I can't."
"Why not?"
She burst out laughing. "Why not? Are you serious, Shane? Maybe it's because you cheated on me."
"I didn't..."
"I hate you," she snapped, pushing him away.
His eyes widened. "Don't say that."
"You were the only one I ever loved or wanted. You were supposed to love and protect me and be with me forever. You threw EVERYTHING away for one stupid whore. I fucking hate you."
He pressed her against the counter. "Shut. Up."
"Leave me alone," she said weakly.
"No," he said softly, staring down at her with hooded eyes.
"Please," she whispered.
He gently grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back, dragging his tongue against her jaw line. "Make me," he whispered in her ear. She shut her eyes, hating the way her body reacted to him. He yanked the front of her dress down and took her nipple in his mouth. "Shane..."
"Tell me to stop," he muttered, reaching under her dress and slipping his hand in her panties.
"Someone's going to see us," she gasped. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him. She knew she should tell him to stop, but it felt too good and had been too long. He carried her into the guest room and kicked the door shut. He lowered her to the bed and pushed her dress over her hips. She threw her head back as he tore her panties off and buried his face between her legs. She grabbed a pillow and moaned loudly into it. It didn't take more than two minutes for her to have a mind blowing orgasm. He knew her body so well.
He climbed on top of her and shoved his tongue in her mouth. "Fuck me," She whispered into his mouth.
"Get on your knees," he rasped. She turned over and pressed back into him. "Like this?"
She moaned loudly as he shoved himself inside her. "Fuck me harder," she gasped. He lasted about three minutes before finishing inside her. "Shit," he groaned, collapsing on top of her. "I'm sorry, baby. It's been awhile. Give me like ten minutes and we can go again."
Kaine sat up and shook her head, feeling stupid. "We shouldn't have done that."
"Yes we should have. We're perfect together, Kainie. You can't tell me you don't feel that."
She stood up. "We should get back to the party. They're going to wonder what happened to us." She picked her torn panties up from the floor and threw them in the garbage. "Now I have to walk around pantyless for the next three hours."
He grinned at her. "And I have to walk around with a hard on thinking about that for the next three hours."
She gave him a small smile and turned to leave.
"Babe, wait."
"Shane, it's fine. Really. We should get back to the party."
"Stop," he said, grabbing her hand. "Just talk to me for a minute. What's wrong?"
She raised her eyebrows. "What's wrong? Really? We're divorced, Shane. We're not supposed to have sex. This was a mistake."
"No it wasn't. Getting a divorce was a mistake."
She pulled her hand away. "I don't want to go through this again. I need to go check on Adam."
"I'll go with you."
She didn't bother to argue. "Fine. Let me just get cleaned up." She opened the door and hurried to the thankfully unoccupied bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She should feel terrible about herself, but she didn't. She felt good. The sight of Shane should repulse her after what he did to her, but it didn't. She wanted him just as much now she ever had. She fixed her hair and straightened her dress, thankful that it was knee length. She gasped when she opened the door and Shane was standing right outside. "Oh my god, don't do that!" She exclaimed.
He grinned at her. "Just making sure you can't avoid me. I checked on Adam. He's still sleeping."
"Thanks," she said awkwardly. The smile faded from his face. "Listen, Kainie, I'm sorry if you regret what happened. I didn't plan on that. The last thing I ever want is for you to feel bad."
She shrugged, looking away. "Honestly? I should feel bad. I should feel dirty. But I don't. I feel good. But I also don't want you to think that everything is ok now, because it's not. It was just sex. We both needed it, and it's over and done with."
He pushed her into the bathroom and locked the door behind them. "Maybe we both need it again," he muttered, pulling the straps off her dress down. "Maybe you need me to remind you who's boss."
She closed her eyes and bent over the sink. She may as well get all of her fantasies out of the way today. This was never going to happen again. She gasped as she felt his hand smack her backside. "Harder," she moaned. He smacked her harder and pulled her to her knees. "Suck it."
She frantically unzipped his jeans and took him in her mouth. "Damn, I missed this," He groaned. Her eyes flew open when there was a knock on the door.
Shit.
"One minute!" She called. She looked up at Shane. "What do we do?" She asked frantically.
"Calm down. I'll pretend I got sick and you were taking care of me." He zipped himself back up and adjusted his pants as Kaine eased the door open.
"Oh, gross," Jay cried. "There are like six bedrooms in this house and you guys choose the bathroom in the middle of a party?"
"That's not what happened," Kaine protested. "Shane got sick and I was helping him."
Jay peered around the door at Shane. "Yeah, he looks real sick. I'm going to use the upstairs bathroom. Ugh." He turned and walked away. Kaine rolled her eyes. "Come on."
"Want to go upstairs?" Shane asked hopefully, following her out of the bathroom.
"We really should get back to the party. We've been gone for awhile."
"I thought you'd say that. Alright, fine. If you change your mind, come find me." He followed her outside and they split up.
Every time she glanced at him, he was staring at her. An hour later, she went upstairs to wake Adam up so that he would sleep tonight. She carried him back outside and sat down, watching him run around the yard.
"Hey, where have you been?" Bryce asked, sitting next to her.
"I've been around. What's up?"
He sat back and shrugged. "Shane seems happy today."
She watched Shane chase Adam around the yard and smiled softly. "He does. I'm glad."
"He misses you so much, Kaine."
She sniffed. "I miss him too. I keep thinking that we're going to go home after the party, then I remember that I'm going home alone and he's taking Adam back to your house."
"Don't cry," he said, hugging her. "You'll be ok."
"I know." They sat in silence until people started to leave. "I should get going," Kaine said. "I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick up Adam."
"Sure, Kaine. See you tomorrow."
She said her goodbyes and approached Shane and Adam. "Bye, sweetie," she said to Adam. "Bye Shane."
"You’re leaving?" He asked, disappointed.
"Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow when I pick him up."
"Well what are you doing later? Maybe we can go do something."
This was exactly what she did
n’t want to happen. "I don’t think so. I’m kind of tired. Listen, what happened today was a one time thing. It can’t happen again."
"Yeah, ok," he muttered. "Bye, Kainie."
"Shane, I didn’t mean…"
"No, it’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye." He picked up Adam and walked away. Kaine shook her head and walked to her car, feeling awful about herself.
11
Later that night, Kaine laid on the couch, thinking about Shane. What the hell had she been thinking, having sex with him? She had been working hard to get him out of her life as much as possible and she had thrown it all away for one stupid moment of weakness. Okay, two moments of weakness. But still, she hated that she had given him false hope for their relationship.
She shook her head, trying to rid herself of her thoughts. Why should she feel bad? The only reason that they were divorced was because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. She felt herself start to get angry again. Why should she have to sit around and mope all night while Shane was out doing god knows what with god knows who? "Fuck that," she muttered, pulling out her phone and calling Layla. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" She asked when she answered.
"Nothing, why? You want to do something?"
"I need to get out of my house. I’m driving myself crazy."
Layla gasped. "Finally! Where do you want to go? There’s this club…"
"Please god, no clubs. I’m twenty seven with a four year old kid. That ship has sailed."
"Fine then. Let’s just go to a bar."
"Alright, but no hipster bars. I don’t want to fight a group of nineteen year olds with skinny jeans and fake ID’s for a spot at the bar."
"Jeez, your standards are ridiculous. I’ll pick you up at eight. Be ready and look hot."
Kaine laughed. "Yeah, sure. See you then."
As Kaine showered, she felt herself getting excited. She hadn’t gone out to a bar in forever. She blow dried her hair straight and put on heavier eye makeup than usual. She chose a black dress that came just above her knees that wasn’t too tight. In this dress, it was hard to tell that she had put on weight. Deeming herself appropriate, she went downstairs to wait for Layla.
Make Me (Bully Me Book 2) Page 6
