by M. J. Haag
“It’s okay if you’d rather not walk with me,” I said. “Sorry I didn’t have anything better to bet.”
“I will walk her home,” Tor said, standing.
“Nope,” Hannah said. “You know this isn’t how it works. No trading off what you won. Shax, you’re going to hurt Angel’s feelings.”
“Nope. He’s really not.” I tugged my jacket on and let myself out.
“Be sure to claim your kiss from Emily, too,” Hannah called before the door closed behind me.
I shook my head.
“Weird people.”
“Not weird,” Shax said, making me scream and almost slip on the shoveled walkway. He caught my elbow to steady me.
“Holy crap, where did you come from?”
“The house.”
“No kidding.” He released me, and I took a few calming breaths as I stepped away. “I was serious about you not needing to walk with me. It wouldn’t have hurt my feelings. It’s obvious you’re into Hannah.”
He grunted.
I'd noticed a long time ago that grunts in lieu of answers seemed to be a thing with the fey. It didn’t bother me like it seemed to bug some of the other survivors. Especially Bertha. She hated their non-committal responses.
Thinking of her made me think of food, and my stomach growled. Damn it.
“Did you get your kiss from Emily?” I asked to distract myself.
“I do not want Emily's kisses.”
He sounded frustrated and angry. I didn't take it personally.
“Just Hannah’s kisses, huh?”
“Yes. I do not understand why she will not give me more of them like she does with her hugs when I bring her things.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out Hannah’s real game.
“Oh? What kinds of things earn you hugs?”
“She hugged me for the wine. I liked the way her breasts pressed against me.” He rubbed his stomach, which was probably where her breasts had touched given his height.
“A hug for all that wine? I’d kiss you with my tongue if you showed up with a pizza.” Hell, I'd do a lot more than that for a pizza. I went a little tingly at the thought of sex. It's been way too long since I'd enjoyed that.
“I will not cheat on Hannah,” Shax said seriously, interrupting my nostalgic thoughts.
I studied him for a moment while we walked. An idea slowly formed. Hannah was obviously using the fey for information and any supplies she could talk out of them. I couldn’t fault her for what she was doing. Sure, I felt bad for the guys, but I understood her motivation. She’d found a way to survive. I had to be smart like that, too.
The bottom line was that I needed food. I placed my hand on my stomach for a brief moment. However, unlike with Hannah, I'd be fair with Shax. I’d make sure the benefits weren’t so one-sided. Both parties needed to get what they wanted.
“I think we can help each other, Shax.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re having a hard time winning over Hannah, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I'm hungry all the time. How about I help you learn what girls really want, and you help me by bringing me some extra food when you can.”
“You will tell me what Hannah wants for her kisses?”
“No, because you don't want just Hannah's kisses. You need to think bigger.”
“Her breasts?”
These guys really did have a physical focus.
“Her affection. If you have her heart, then kisses, boobs, and all the rest will be yours too. To do that, I will tell you what Hannah wants in a man.”
“Yes. That is what I want. All of her. I want to taste her pussy. Kerr said it's better than food.”
My mind went blank for a moment. Big, caring, and a craving to go down on a girl? Damn it! Why was I always drawing the short straw in life?
“Er...Okay. It’s good to have goals. But if we're going to do this, you can't tell anyone,” I said, recalling Cassie's comment about the fey being gossips. “If I find out you're telling your friends what I'm telling you or that I'm helping you, then the deal’ s off.”
“I understand.”
“Not even a hint,” I pressed. The last thing I needed was a whole bunch of the fey knocking on my door and drawing more unwanted attention to me. I was safe enough with Shax because of the love goggles he wore for Hannah.
“I will say nothing. Not even a hint.”
“Okay. Then, the first thing you need to know is that you have to stop seeming so desperate. It turns girls off.”
“But I am desperate. I can think of nothing else but Hannah. I would do anything for her.”
“I think that's part of the problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, at the party the girls mentioned that Mya wouldn't like that they had the wine. And, you're the one who brought the wine. I'm taking a guess here, but it would be you who got in trouble if Mya found out that you provided the wine, right?”
He grunted.
“Women don't like men who are lapdogs.”
“I am not a dog.”
I laughed lightly.
“It's a saying. Not something literal. You're not a dog, but you're acting docile like one. Women don't want docile. Not out of a sexy grey devil like you. I've seen what you can do. You're strong. You're intense. And that's great. That's what women need in this world if they want to survive. You have to show Hannah that. And if she asks you to do something that you know is wrong, you have to stand up for yourself and say no. If she's a good person, she’ll understand. If she doesn't understand, you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with a person who is okay with getting you into trouble.”
We reached my house, and he walked me up to the door.
“I'm glad that I walked you home, Angel. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
Before I could ask if he happened to have those chips on him, he nodded and took off at a run.
“Damn,” I said under my breath.
My stomach growled in agreement.
Chapter Three
I let myself inside the house and sighed in relief that I was alone again. Going to Emily’s sad excuse for a party hadn’t been a completely useless risk. Hopefully, the deal with Shax would pay off. Sure, it sucked that he took off before I could shake him down for something to eat, but the fey kept their word. I knew he’d show up again with something for me.
Besides, my deal with Shax was my plan B. Plan A was Cassie. When I’d first told her that I wanted to move with her to Tolerance, she’d been the one to talk to Matt about having Bertha serve me more food. Not that it had really worked. I hadn’t wanted Bertha to know the real reason I needed more calories. But, that wasn’t the point. The point was that my lack of food now had to be an oversight. All I needed to do was talk to Cassie about it.
I checked the window by the door and seeing the sidewalk clear, eagerly left the house again. However, no one answered the door four houses down even though I knocked several times.
Maybe she’d put her kids down for a nap. It wasn’t like there was a ton to do with young kids anymore. Tolerance didn’t have any parks or zoos, and I couldn’t see her removing the kids from Tolerance’s protective wall for trivial reasons.
Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I went home again.
Hungry and irritated, I hung up my jacket and kicked off my shoes before going to the living room and flopping on the couch. The blanket I'd found in the closet the night before waited for me. Snuggling in, I turned on another movie. I liked the collection of shows. Cartoons were my thing. Too bad I didn't have any popcorn to go with them. I tried not to let myself feel too bitter about that.
My excuse of needing a nap was truer than I thought because my eyes closed after only a few minutes.
“She is a good person.”
The loud, excited sound of Shax's voice and the bang of the door jolted me awake. I looked up and saw him walking in. He closed th
e kitchen door behind him and looked my way.
“What?” I asked, unsure what was going on.
He smiled widely, showing his sharp canines as he removed his jacket and hung it on the kitchen chair.
“Hannah is a good person,” he said again. “I told her I did not want Mya angry with me and wanted to return the wine. Hannah said she understood. She even gave me a hug.”
He made himself comfortable on the chair next to the couch and leaned forward, studying me. I nonchalantly pulled the blanket over my stomach, bunching it to hide the tell-tale bulge.
“You are very smart, Angel.”
If I were so smart, I wouldn't have been so damn hungry; but I kept that thought to myself.
“What do I do now?” he asked
“Now, you give her some space.”
He groaned and sat back in his chair.
“I do not like space.”
I chuckled softly.
“You might not like space, but she'll like it. Especially after you were acting so desperate.”
“It was not acting. What I feel is real. I need her.”
I shook my head at him.
“This is what I'm talking about. You’ve got to keep that shit in. No girl wants to hear how desperate you are for her.”
He scowled at me.
“Why?”
“Would you want to hear how desperate a girl is for you? Would you want her there begging for your attention every time you turn around?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” I got up and plopped myself down in Shax’s lap.
“I’m desperate for a real man, Shax. I want you to touch me. To taste my pussy.”
He stood up and set me on my feet like I was on fire. It was almost laughable.
“I only want Hannah,” he said firmly.
“I only want you, Shax. I can’t think of anything else. Can I see you naked?”
His expression changed to one of complete shock, and I couldn’t contain myself. I laughed so hard I almost peed.
“I do not understand your laughter,” he said, crossing his arms.
I wiped at my eyes and sat down on the couch, using the blanket as a shield once more.
“Sit. I won’t jump into your lap again. I promise. I did it to teach you something.”
He frowned and slowly resumed sitting. I could see he was trying to figure out what the point of all that had been.
“I was Shax, and you were Hannah just now. I was telling you how desperate I was to see you naked, to touch you, and have you touch me. How did that make you feel?”
He grunted in response.
“How you felt might be similar to how Hannah feels every time you act like that around her.”
“I do not sit on her lap and ask her to taste my penis.”
I had to look away for a moment so I wouldn’t bust out laughing again. The struggle was real.
“I may have gone a bit extreme to prove my point,” I said when I was in control. “I’m sorry if what I did upset you or hurt you in any way.”
He exhaled slowly.
“You did not hurt me. Thank you for helping me understand what Hannah is feeling.”
“Not what she is feeling. What she might be feeling. You need to ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed. And not just with Hannah but with anyone else. It’ll help you get an idea what another person is feeling.”
“I understand.”
He looked completely depressed, though.
“Come on, big guy. Don’t be down. Do you want to watch a movie with me? I’ll teach you how to give a girl a foot rub that will have her—” I stopped myself from saying that her panties would be dropping within twenty minutes.
“Will have her what?”
“Thinking that you might not be desperate. Just a really good man.”
“Yes. I want to learn to rub feet.”
Within five minutes, the movie was playing, and I was getting the best foot rub of my life. Any time I started feeling a little guilty about it, I reminded myself that my lessons would make some woman extremely happy in the future. And, Shax seemed pretty content with his task now that he understood I wasn’t going to molest him.
“Are fish always this forgetful?” he asked as he watched the TV.
I grinned.
“Nah, this isn’t real. Just pretend stuff. But it has some good lessons. Like helping each other out.”
He grunted and rubbed circles into the arch of my foot. Unable to help myself, I groaned and closed my eyes. He stopped.
“Groaning is good,” I said. “Don’t stop when you’re doing something that makes a girl groan.”
He started rubbing again.
“And, once a girl groans with you just rubbing her feet, you can take that as a sign to work your way a little further up her leg. Let’s say, mid-calf. If you get another groan, go to the knee. If you get another groan after that, you can work your way up further.”
His rubbing slowed.
“A foot rub can lead to tasting Hannah’s pussy?”
“Only if she keeps groaning and does not tell you to stop.” I opened one eye to peer at him. He wore a kid-in-the-candy-store look, and I knew he hadn’t really heard that last part.
“Shax,” I said, poking him in the ribs with my big toe. “You need to listen to this part.”
“Yes. Only if she keeps groaning. Stop means stop.”
“Okay.” I set my foot back in his lap. My heel brushed something really long and really hard.
“What else can lead to tasting Hannah’s pussy?” he asked.
“Eh…I think one hint at a time is enough. Remember, you don’t want to seem desperate. And if you go from trying a foot rub to trying something else, that will definitely look desperate to her.”
He growled softly.
“There are too many rules.”
I grinned.
“Girls are complicated. The right girls are worth the effort, though.”
He set my feet aside and stood.
“I must go,” he said.
“Okay. Thanks for hanging out with me.”
He grabbed his jacket and practically ran out the door.
“I sure hope he doesn’t show up on Hannah’s doorstep with that boner and an offer to rub her feet,” I said to myself as I focused on the movie.
I basked in my own cleanliness. A shower two mornings in a row was pure bliss. Almost as blissful as eating the bag of chips I’d discovered on the kitchen table after Shax had left the night before.
Brushing out my hair, I studied my naked reflection. I was too thin. I had sticks for arms and legs, which made my belly seem even bigger by comparison. I didn’t know how Shax hadn’t noticed last night. It had to be his complete fixation on Hannah that kept him blind to what was going on with me. And that worked in my benefit big time.
Hungry, I dressed and went downstairs. Eating all the chips last night left nothing for breakfast. That meant I couldn’t avoid the basement any longer.
I flicked on the switch and carefully went down the steps, my grip tight around the baseball bat I’d found in the front closet. The bat wasn’t for infected; it was for spiders. They were the only creature which I stood a chance of defending myself against in this pit of despair I was entering.
The stairs ended near a wall, like too many basements tended to do. Light from the stairwell extended a few feet to the right and left, my two options. I didn’t see a switch in either direction.
Humming to myself, I peeked around the right. Boxes were stacked in a disarrayed pile and cobwebs hung from the ceiling. I exhaled slowly and looked to the left. That space was devoid of anything but the furnace and water heater.
I shuffled to the right and prayed a spider wouldn’t drop onto my head.
The boxes contained family pictures and personal items like trophies and awards. I slowly resealed the cardboard flaps, understanding that someone had carefully packed the previous family’s things away. Maybe the people who’d li
ved here would be back someday and want the memories. But, most likely, those people were already dead.
Taking my bat, I explored further into that half of the poorly lit space and found an empty tank near a storage rack that had long lights hung from the bottom of each shelf. I stepped closer and looked at the dead, wilted plants in the pots of dirt. A sense of excitement filled me. It wasn’t the canned goods I was hoping for, but it was a potential food source.
As I reached out for the pull string to test one of the lights, I slid my foot forward. My toe bumped something just under the bottom shelf. A second later, something darted out. Long and fast, the body slithered between my feet.
I screamed, threw the bat at it, and ran the other direction. The bat hit the floor with a clank then bounced and hit me behind the knee, taking me down like a bullet to the back. As I fell, I could only think “not the floor. The snake is on the floor.”
My screaming never stopped as I caught myself on my hands and knees and scrambled to my feet. Wild-eyed, I grabbed the bat. With a two-handed grip, I ended the snake’s existence, caveman style, while it was trying to find a place to hide in the box pile.
“I’m a fucking amazon!” I yelled at the gory lump, my heart thundering in my chest.
Something thundered down the steps, and I laughed like a crazy woman when I saw Shax’s face.
“I heard you scream,” he said. “Why are you laughing now?”
“I just beat the shit out of a snake.” I pointed, shaking uncontrollably.
He glanced at the snake as he came toward me.
“And that is funny?”
“No. It’s terrifying.”
I grabbed his hand and placed his fingers on my throat, right above my pulse.
“Feel that? My heart is jacked. Can I get a ride upstairs to the couch? I think I need to sit down for a minute.”
He scooped me in his arms without hesitation and carried me upstairs. While I continued to shake, I asked for a glass of water. It took several minutes to calm down after that. Shax sat in his chair and quietly watched me.
“What brings you back?” I asked when I could think rationally again.
“I saw Hannah. I was not desperate, but she would not let me rub her feet. She told me to go away.”
