by M. J. Haag
“Yeah, I needed a bit of fresh air,” I said with a smile.
He frowned as he joined me.
“Why is there a mark of a hand on your cheek?” He growled low as he continued to study me. “Did someone slap you?”
I started walking in the direction of the storage shed. There was one package of pop tarts left in the box from yesterday, and I didn’t care what anyone said about sharing. That package had my name on it.
Shax kept pace with me, and I waited until we reached the end of the block to explain.
“It was another girl,” I said.
He continued to frown.
“It was a teaching and learning moment.”
“What were you teaching?”
“Violence breeds violence,” I said with a wide smile that hurt my cheek. “That means I hit her back. A lot harder than she hit me. She’ll think twice before trying to start a fight with someone she doesn’t know.”
He grunted.
In the silence following his grunt, I heard raised voices.
“Did you hear that? It sounds like arguing.”
Another grunt. I grinned.
The further we walked, the louder the voices became. I could almost make out the words when Shax glanced at me.
“You should go home, Angel.”
“What? No way.”
“It might not be safe.”
“It’s safe enough. Those are human voices, not infected calls. And, just because someone's arguing doesn't mean they're fighting. Besides, I just told you I know how to throw a punch.”
He frowned at me.
“Mya says we are not supposed to hit humans.”
“That's because you’re fey, and you could cause a lot of damage. I'm human, so I get to hit my own kind.”
I grinned at him. He was not amused.
When we turned the corner, we saw people gathered around the storage shed. Men and women, survivors from Whiteman, faced off with a group of fey led by Mya.
“You have no right to wall us in and starve us,” someone yelled.
“You're not walled in,” Mya said. “You can climb up any one of the ladders the fey have put out for you and leave anytime you please. And when the fey guarding the top of the wall see you returning, they will help you get back in.”
“We’ll die out there,” another person yelled.
“There's food in that building. There's no reason for us to leave Tolerance,” a third yelled.
“We need to eat,” a new voice chimed in.
“And you have eaten,” Mya said, her annoyance showing. “Each one of the houses you're staying in had a food delivery last night. If you don't know how to ration what you were given, that's not my fault.”
“Ration? That wasn't enough to feed twelve people two meals.”
I wanted to snort. I’d packed those boxes. Julie had ensured there was enough for nine, twelve-person meals in the boxes going to the houses with three bathrooms. Either, like me, they had crappy roommates who weren’t sharing, or they ate it all thinking it’d be easy to get more now that they lived with the fey again.
“You've got us crammed in those houses like sardines,” someone else yelled.
People were obviously worked up about their new lives. The idiots couldn’t see how great it really could be.
“You're welcome to go back to the tents,” Mya said. “No one is keeping you here.”
“Give us the fucking food,” yet another person yelled, which incited even more yelling.
Beside me, Shax growled.
“Go home, Angel.”
He jogged toward the crowd and joined the fey keeping the humans from entering the storage shed.
This standoff was the last thing both sides needed. I should have been upset by the survivor’s stupidity and displays of hostility. Instead, I was more upset that I wouldn't get my damn Pop-Tarts. It seemed that no matter where I lived, my future would involve some sort of starvation.
One of the humans threw something at one of the fey. The one standing beside Mya roared. She looked ready to explode, too.
“You know what? Everything that's in this house is yours,” Mya shouted. “And when it's out, it's out. Not a single fey is going to bring back supplies for any of you. You're on your own.”
She led the fey away, and the humans rushed for the supply shed.
I turned around and walked back the way I'd come.
A few people ran past me with boxed meals or canned goods clutched in their hands. They were too stupid to see they’d burned a bridge. Without the fey’s help on supply runs, they were going to get a lot hungrier. I was going to get a lot hungrier, too.
I went to the only welcoming house I knew and felt bad for knocking on Cassie’s door. Given the hour, I did it quietly just in case the kids were still sleeping.
Kerr opened the door with his usual stoic face. It didn't put me off. That seemed to be the fey’s normal expression most of the time.
“Hey, Kerr. I'm really sorry to bother you this early, but could I talk to Cassie, please?”
“I'm here,” Cassie said from somewhere inside.
Kerr stepped aside, and I saw Cassie right there, holding her son. She passed the boy off to Kerr and greeted me with a smile.
Behind her, Kerr didn't move.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” I asked.
Cassie glanced at Kerr then chuckled.
“Sure. Let me just get my boots on.”
I waited until she was outside and the door was closed.
“Let's go to the backyard,” I said, already moving that way. “It's probably safer than walking around right now.”
“What do you mean?” Cassie asked, leaving new prints in the fresh snow with me.
“I was just at the storage shed. There was a huge blowout between Mya and some of the survivors.”
“Is Mya okay?”
We rounded the corner to the back of the house.
“Yeah, everyone’s fine. But, all of the rations are gone. People were pissed that they didn't get more. So, they took everything. Mya told them that once it's gone, it's gone. The fey weren't going to bring in any more supplies. The humans need to fend for themselves.”
I lowered my voice.
“I don't know what to do, Cassie. I can't feed myself. How am I supposed to feed this baby when it gets here?”
I set my hand on my stomach.
“He kicks when I eat or when I’m extremely emotional but doesn't move much in between. I don’t want this baby to die before it even has a chance to live.”
Cassie pulled me into a hug.
“We won’t let that happen,” she said fiercely before releasing me. “I think it's time we let Mya in on what's going on. You're not like these other survivors who are asking for too much. And once these fey know that you’re pregnant, they will do everything they can to help. We need to let people know.”
“Not yet,” I begged. “There has to be another way. You didn’t see how they—”
Something crunched behind me at the same time Cassie’s eyes widened.
I spun around.
Shax stood there, his hands loose at his side, and his gaze pinned on my middle.
“Pregnant,” he said softly.
His gaze lifted, meeting mine. Then, he smiled so wide I saw his gum line.
Chapter Seven
“We were talking about when Cassie was pregnant with Caden,” I lied quickly.
Shax stalked toward me, his gaze locking on my baby bulge once more.
“No, you were not. I was listening. You are pregnant. That means you have a baby inside of you.”
“Shax, you know you're not supposed to listen in on other people's conversations. Mya talked to you about that,” Cassie said.
He waved his hand like it didn't matter, his gaze completely focused on my belly.
“When will it come out?” he asked. “I would like to see how small a baby starts out.”
Behind him, I spotted another fey. The guy
was just walking between yards, minding his own business—like Shax should have been. But the fact that we were out in the open, and one fey had already overheard what he shouldn’t have, had me clapping a hand over Shax’s mouth.
“Let’s talk about this, but not here. Somewhere private. Okay?”
He picked me up, and I squealed and tried to get out of his arms.
“Wait,” Cassie said. “Take her inside. You can use Caden’s room.”
She opened the back door, and Shax carried me in. I should have been grateful she’d stopped him from carrying me off to who knew where, but I was still freaking out that he knew my secret.
He raced upstairs and closed us into a bedroom.
Placing me on my feet, he began to unzip my jacket. I batted his hands away.
“Shax, stop.”
“I want to see.”
“Well, you can’t.”
“Why not?”
He knelt before me and tilted his head as if he suddenly had x-ray vision and could see through all my layers.
“Can it hear me? Is it a boy like Caden or a girl like Lilly?”
“I don’t know. Shax, get up. We need to talk. You can’t tell anyone about this.”
That got his attention. His gaze flew to mine; and for a long moment, he just stared at me.
“We will make a new deal,” he said. “I will keep the secret, and you will let me see the baby.”
“First, that’s not a deal. That’s blackmail. Second, you can’t see it when it’s still inside me.”
In his frustration, he made a face that was completely adorable.
“It is not blackmail. If both parties get what they want in a fair trade, it is a deal. You want my silence. I want…” He reached out to grab my shirt again.
I dodged his hand.
“I don’t care. Making deals with you sucks. I gave you a ton of advice about what girls want in a guy, and I got a lousy, small bag of chips in return because you thought I was too fat. You still need to pay up from our first deal.”
“I will pay up. Then, we will make a new deal. You will tell me everything you know about the baby, and I will not tell anyone.”
“Deal,” I said quickly.
He frowned. “How much do you know about the baby?”
“Not much,” I said reluctantly.
“Then it is not fair. You must also let me touch you while it is growing inside you.”
“Deal.” I didn’t mind a few belly touches. In fact, I couldn’t wait to see Shax’s face the first time he could feel the baby kick. He would flip out.
He reached for me again, but I stopped.
“Uh-uh. First, you pay up for the advice. Then, you can start touching.”
He made that frustrated face again, and I grinned.
“We keep things fair this time.”
He grunted and got to his feet.
“And remember, Shax. No one can know.”
“It will take me some time to find some food. I gave what I had to Mya to give the other humans so they would stop fighting.”
Damn selfish jerks continued to block me from eating.
“I think I’m going to go back to my house then. I’ll check in with you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay. But no more teaching and learning.” He ran a gentle finger over my cheek.
“I’ll do my best.”
He gave my belly another longing look and followed me as I left the room. At the bottom of the steps, I hesitated. I could hear Cassie and her family still in the kitchen. I knew I should go tell her that everything was okay now. At least, I thought it would be okay with Shax's help. Not that he knew he was going to help me. I knew how badly he wanted to touch my belly, though. Hopefully, it was bad enough to keep me stocked in food.
Did I feel guilty about not clarifying that I meant to use his obsession to keep me fed? No. Like he said, it would be a fair trade. As soon as he wasn't interested anymore, I would have to find another way to feed myself.
So, given the nature of our deal and my unspoken hopes for it, I skipped checking in with Cassie and went straight for the front door.
Outside, Shax took off at a run without a word. I had no idea where he was going but hoped it was to raid some secret stash of food somewhere.
I made my way slowly back to the house. There were fewer people outside, now. Probably because news had spread that the spare supply of food was already claimed, and those who still needed food knew there wasn't anything left. I wondered how many people were going to brave going outside the wall and how many would wait in the homes, slowly starving until the fey caved. Because, they would. At least, for the women they would.
When I let myself into the house I now had to share, the TV was on again; and the kitchen smelled faintly like brown sugar oatmeal.
My stomach growled.
I slammed the door, ticked at them and the apocalypse in general.
At the sound, someone stood in the living room. It was the young guy from the night before. He came into the kitchen and took a covered bowl out of the microwave. I started salivating.
“We saved you your share of oatmeal,” he said.
“This is how you share. You don’t keep it all for yourself,” Carol yelled from the other room.
“Thanks for thinking of me, Carol. I hope the oatmeal was easy for you to chew this morning.”
The woman swore and stomped off upstairs.
I grinned and sat down at the table. The guy uncovered the bowl and got me a spoon.
“I'm Garrett, by the way.”
I spooned in my first bite and almost groaned. It was brown sugar oatmeal.
“Thanks for not being a jackass like the others, Garrett,” I said after I swallowed.
“We can hear you,” Harry said.
“That was the point.” I took another bite.
Garrett sat next to me.
“We don't know how long we're going to be in forced cohabitation,” he said. “It would be better for everyone if we tried to get along.” As he spoke, he wasn't looking at me but at the living room. Yet, I knew what he said applied to me as well. And he was right. Poking at the soft spots would just make them angrier and, in the long run, my life more miserable.
After I finished my breakfast and washed my dishes, I discovered there wasn't any more food left. Nothing. Like every other house, my roommates seemed to have eaten it all. Instead of asking what they were thinking, or calling them out for being the idiots they were, I went back to the basement and started planting the seeds.
No one bothered me down there. They’d probably already seen the snake body. It was hard to miss in the center of the floor. I figured I’d already killed one, though, so I could do it again.
With the bat close by, I worked on creating a future food supply, which kept me busy for several hours. With the bedrooms taken and the living room an unwelcoming environment, I stayed in the basement and found myself a chair to watch my plants grow.
Near dinner-time, Garrett called for me. I jerked myself awake, not surprised boredom had put me to sleep.
“Coming,” I called, getting up and stepping around the dehydrating pile of goo that used to be the snake.
“What's up?” I asked when I reached the top.
“There's someone at the door for you.”
I looked at the door and saw Shax. Worried that he would say something or do something to give me away, I hurried toward him.
“Would you like to come to my house?” he asked. He held out my jacket and leaned toward me.
“I have food,” he said quietly.
I grabbed my jacket from his hands and slipped it on.
“Let’s go.”
As soon as I stepped outside the door, Shax scooped me up into his arms.
“Cut it out,” I said, squirming to get free. “People are going to wonder what's going on.”
“No one will wonder. My brothers will know I am lucky, and the humans will believe you are a lazy traitor to your own kind.”
/> I snorted a laugh and stopped struggling. He’d summed that up pretty well.
A minute later, he set me down outside of his house and opened the door for me.
I stepped inside his entry and looked around. The living room had a leather sofa and recliner along with a huge TV. Beyond that, there was a breakfast bar that separated the living room from the kitchen.
“Is there anyone else here?” I asked.
“No. I live here alone.”
“How is it you get a house all to yourself?” I took off my jacket and hung it in the coat closet.
“The humans did not want to live with the fey, and my brothers know I am close to winning a female.”
I nodded, feeling kind of guilty that I hadn't considered Hannah in all of the deal-making I was doing with Shax. Rather than ask about Hannah or how he felt about keeping secrets from her, I asked about something else I found extremely important.
“What did you find for me to eat?”
He withdrew an individual snack cake from his pocket and held it out to me. It was mashed nearly flat and so small. That was my dinner? The healthy finish to an already crappy day of eating? How was I supposed to live on a cup of oatmeal, a pop tart, and a snack cake?
I looked up at him, fighting to keep the tears back.
“Do you know how hard it is to grow a baby? How much energy it takes? A lot. I’m tired and hungry all the time. But there’s not enough food. Sure as hell not enough healthy food. If I don't eat enough, the baby dies. It's that simple.”
I snatched the cake from him and ripped it open. Choking on my tears, I took a bite, barely chewing before swallowing. I tried telling myself to be grateful for anything, but the sudden overwhelming self-pity flooding me wouldn’t listen.
I silently cried and ate my cake.
“Stay here,” Shax said. A moment later he was gone, not even shutting the door behind him.
“Where else would I go?” I asked the empty room.
I sighed and closed the door. It wasn’t like I wanted to go back to my house and sit in the basement like a pariah.
While I waited, I looked around Shax’s house. Second by second, the feelings of frustration and anger faded as quickly as they’d welled up.
“Damn hormones,” I said, throwing the wrapper away in the kitchen. I’d probably freaked Shax out with my crying. Well, he wanted to know everything about growing a baby; and apparently, he was going to get the crash course version.
