by M. J. Haag
I swallowed the bitterness that welled up inside of me.
“I’m glad you two are okay, then,” I said.
“Me too,” Hannah said. She waved and kept going as I turned up the front walk.
The house was quiet when I opened the door. Grateful, I closed my eyes for a moment and let myself absorb what had just happened. Hellhounds were coming, and I’d likely just screwed myself out of a place to live.
“Fucking brilliant, Angel,” I said with a sigh.
After hanging up my jacket, I went upstairs and spent time in the nursery Shax had set up. It had everything. The crib. The changing table. Baby supplies. All the stuff that I would have asked Garrett for if I wasn't so afraid of everyone finding out.
I wondered if Shax would let me borrow all of this until he knocked up Hannah with a baby of his own. I thought of them together and cringed. Hannah had no idea how lucky she was.
Feeling a little depressed for myself, I went downstairs and turned on a movie.
I was safe. I was fed. I should have been happy. Why couldn’t what I had be enough while I had it?
When the door opened hours later, I eagerly got up from the couch and went toward the kitchen.
Shax smiled when he saw me and stepped aside to let two other fey in. Each carried a large box filled with supplies.
“Did you just get back?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Any trouble?”
He looked at me, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
The men set the boxes on the table and turned to leave.
“Thank you,” I called. When the door closed, I smiled at Shax. “Yeah, I could eat.” I’d eaten some of the leftover meat in the fridge for lunch but had wanted to wait for him before eating again. I was glad I did. He took out several cans of food, showing me what they’d brought back. Frozen meats. Boxed stuff, including a cake mix. And more baby stuff too. Jars of pureed baby food and cans of formula.
“How did you know to get all this stuff?” I asked.
“Caden has all of this, and he is a baby.”
“You must have spent a lot of time with him.”
“Yes. Until you came.”
His gaze fell to my belly.
“You should eat,” he said.
I knew he was thinking of feeling the baby's kicks. I didn't mind. And, I would keep telling myself that until it was true.
He opened the other box and smiled at me.
“I found something for you, too,” he said.
Excitement warmed my middle.
“Really?”
He nodded, and I moved closer to peek inside the box. There was a stack of books. I couldn't tell what they were so I lifted them out. Every single one had some kind of hunky guy on the cover. Romance novels? He actually thought of me and not the baby. I grinned and hugged him hard.
“This is perfect.”
“Now you do not have to leave the house because you are bored.” His hands molded to my stomach. “You will be safe.”
My heart fell a little. The books weren’t for me. Not really. They were to keep me inside, and the baby secret, so Shax could have the baby to himself.
“I think I'm going to go lay down for a bit,” I said, withdrawing.
He caught my hand.
“Wait.”
He reached out, his fingers trailing my cheek in a soft caress.
“I want to teach and learn some more. I want to kiss. I want to know I'm good.”
The way his eyes held mine melted my insides. Whatever his reasons, I was too weak-willed to say no.
I nodded, and he tugged me closer. The possessive way he held me and the low rumble in his chest made my heart hammer. His gaze dipped to my lips.
Everything was saying that this wasn't a practice kiss but a kiss because he wanted me. I let myself fall into the illusion and tilted my head up to meet him.
The first touch of his mouth was soft and gentle, coaxing me to trust and to give. I sighed against his lips, and he deepened the kiss. His tongue swiped against mine, sending a shiver through me. I gripped his arms and kissed him back with all the feelings I’d been trying to suppress. He made a growling noise, and I groaned.
The next thing I knew, his hands were cupping my ass cheeks and he lifted me off the ground, grinding his rock-hard erection against my pelvis. A fire ignited in my belly, and little shocks of need tingled through my core.
I wrapped my legs around his hips and pressed against him. His hands flexed on my ass, and he kissed me with the desperation of a man going under. He took a step toward the stairs, and my heart started to hammer, knocking against my ribs.
I knew what going upstairs meant, and I wanted whatever Shax would willingly give. No, I needed it.
He stopped walking. I kissed him harder, desperate for him to keep going.
“Angel?”
The sound of Garrett’s voice shocked me out of the moment, and I broke the kiss, panting heavily.
Shax growled, his grip on me tightening.
Garrett knocked on the door again.
“Shax,” I whispered. “Put me down. Quick.”
“No. You do not need Garrett. You need me.”
Those words broke the rest of the spell his kiss had woven around me, and I wiggled to get free.
“Now, Shax.”
He growled but released me. I exhaled slowly, trying to steady my pulse, and smoothed my hands over my hair. No matter what I did, I would look flushed when I opened that door.
Shax surprised me by closing his hand over mine when I reached for the knob.
“Tell him to leave.” The words spoken next to my ear sent a shiver through me. I wanted to do just that. To turn around and pick up right where Shax and I had left off. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
Pasting a welcoming smile on my face, I swung the door open.
Garrett stood on the porch, a small box in his arms. His gaze swept over my face then flicked to Shax who stood behind me.
“Everything okay?” he asked when he met my gaze once more.
“Yeah. Everything is fine. The baby-oven’s just overheating, if you know what I mean. It’s a nice change from being cold all the time.”
“I bet. I found some things I thought you’d like.” He shifted the box toward me. As I reached for it, I noticed someone coming down the sidewalk. It was hard not to with the last golden rays of the sun shimmering off her perfectly bouncing curls.
I looked down at the box, before she caught me staring, and saw what Garrett had found. A green pacifier and a baby blanket were tucked between a glass bottle of syrup and some canned goods.
“Syrup and sauerkraut,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if you were leaning toward sweet or salty.”
I smiled widely.
“Thank you, Garrett. That’s very kind.”
“It’s no problem,” he said as Hannah came walking up behind him.
“Hey, guys.” She leaned forward to look in the box. “Oh, supplies. You better get that inside before someone notices.” Her gaze shifted to Shax.
“Just the guy I was looking for. Do you have a few minutes you can spare? In private?”
Garrett’s brows rose a little as he met my gaze.
“If you haven’t eaten yet, would you like to come to the house for dinner?”
I could have hugged him if my arms weren’t full.
“Thanks. I’d like that. Let me just get my jacket.”
I turned and almost crashed into a scowling Shax.
Chapter Twelve
Shax moved to grab my arm.
“Don't,” I said softly.
I sidestepped him, set the box on the table, and grabbed my jacket. It was hard to know what to think or feel after being pinned to the wall by him. I knew Shax wanted Hannah. He had never misled me. Yet, the situation I found myself in still sucked. Why did I want a guy who wanted another girl? The world had enough stuff in it that didn't make sense
. I didn't need to add to it.
When I turned around, Hannah was in the kitchen, watching me. I pasted on my best Angel smile.
“You two have fun,” I said, slipping on my jacket. “And don't worry. I'll find somewhere else to crash tonight.”
Hannah turned a light shade of pink even as she gave me a grateful smile.
I hurried outside before I said anything that would embarrass all of us.
Garrett closed the door behind me.
“Was that awkward for you? Because, it sure felt awkward to me,” he said as we started down the sidewalk.
“Yeah, it was.” It sucked that Garrett had noticed it. I had rather hoped to keep my demon crush a secret.
Garrett snorted.
“That guy has been chasing after Hannah since they first showed up in Whiteman. I never thought I’d see the day where she would say yes.”
In the distance, the first of the car lights illuminated the twilight.
“I didn’t realize how late it was,” I said, changing the subject. “Did you just get back from the supply run?”
“Just before dusk. We pushed it, staying out as late as we could so we could travel beyond what’d already been picked over. Mya’s brother knows what he’s doing, and the extra distance was worth it. We found some great stuff.”
“Good. I hope that makes everyone happy for a while.”
“Don’t count on it. Not many of the people who went out were willing to take the chance and go that additional distance with Ryan. So, there was just a small group of us who hit the jackpot. That meant a better haul for everyone involved, though. The people who didn’t take the risk will be kicking themselves in the morning. What I gave you was only a quarter of my take.” He gave me a sheepish look. “I kept the rest at the house so no one would complain.”
“I don’t see how they’d dare since you’re the one going out and risking everything while they sit on their butts. And, you didn't need to give me any of what you found, either, Garrett. I don't want to cause trouble for you.”
He shrugged lightly. “Don’t worry. They could have gone out with me if they wanted more food than I’m willing to share with them.”
The house was quiet and dark when we reached it. Inside, Garrett turned on the entry light and took my jacket for me.
“Where is everyone?”
“Not sure. They were gone when I got back.”
He gestured toward the box on the table.
“What would you like for dinner?”
I looked through what he had and found a can of ravioli. A meal in a can seemed a safe option for not using up more of his supplies than necessary.
“I haven't had this in years.”
He smiled and took a can before moving the box to the counter. While I unpacked and put their supplies in the cupboards, he started heating our dinner on the stove.
“What's it like out there beyond the wall, now?” I asked. “It’s weird in here not being able to see anything. Are the infected really getting smarter?”
“It's hard to say if they are getting smarter or just evolving into whatever they are. There's a definite difference between the infected that are just turned and ones who have been turned for a while. It's not like the older ones can talk or anything, but there's a certain level of thought that's going on that can creep a person out. The way the infected know how to hide and stay quiet. The way they know to wait by the human food supplies. The way they know how to block an escape route. It all revolves around them hunting us. Like it’s more instinct rather than true intelligence.”
“Sounds terrifying.”
“It was at first. But the more I go out there, the easier it gets.”
Part of me felt guilty that I wasn’t going out and doing my part. But the risk was too high, and I was too much of a liability. I knew that. However, once I wasn't pregnant, I had no excuses. I would need to go outside the wall. The thought of the baby I would leave behind worried me. What if I never came back? Who would take care of him? I thought of Shax and his fascination and Cassie's assurance that all fey found babies interesting.
“That's a pretty serious look,” Garrett said.
“Yeah. I have a lot to consider. Right now, I'm so dependent on everyone to take care of me. After I have the baby, though, that will all change. I'll be able to go out and do my part, too. As much as I don't want to be a freeloader, the thought of what I'd be leaving behind terrifies me.”
“There's no reason for you to go out for supplies after the baby’s born. Not when there are people like me, willing to help. And, like Shax. I've seen the way he watches you. I think he'd do anything for you.”
I almost snorted.
“What happens when he hooks up with Hannah? The fey get pretty devoted to the girls they're attached to.”
Garrett considered me for a moment.
“What about another fey? I know some of the women here are completely against the idea of pairing up with one of the fey, but you don't seem like you have a strong opinion against them. Not that I'm giving you any kind of relationship advice, but the women who do have fey partners are pretty protected. They don't have to leave the security of Tolerance. Maybe that would be the safest thing for you and the baby.”
He was right. And, the thought had crossed my mind. Yet, my heart was already shaking its head no as I watched him remove dinner from the stove and divide it into two bowls.
“I don’t think I can. It wouldn’t be fair to me, the baby, or the fey.”
He nodded and set the bowls on the table while I grabbed us spoons.
“Well, you have my help for as long as you need it. I know my capabilities aren’t as impressive as the fey’s, but at least you know you're not alone.”
I caught his hand, giving it a light squeeze.
“That means more than you know.”
He smiled, and I released him to take the first bite of my meal. I savored the flavor of the tomato sauce coated ravioli. It wasn't the food I would have picked before the quakes. But now, it was pretty damn good.
“Anything interesting happen here today?” he asked after he swallowed his first bite of ravioli.
“Yeah, the two fey outcasts returned. Everyone was in a huge uproar.”
“I bet. With Molev gone, that means the fey won't destroy the hearts they brought back.”
“Yeah. I heard that also means hellhounds are coming.”
“Most likely,” Garrett said. “There are more fey here, though. We’ll be fine.”
I remembered the last time the hounds tore through Whiteman and the sheer terror I’d felt, seeing the red glowing eyes. I shivered lightly, and this time, Garrett reached out to give my hand a squeeze.
“I’m sorry I brought it up. You have nothing to worry about here. The wall is thick and well lit. Between that and the fey, the hellhounds won’t get in.”
I nodded, and he released me.
“Have you thought of names for your baby?” he asked.
“Nothing serious. When I’m hungry, I usually use a food nickname. When I get kicked, I go with ninja. Sometimes I call him freeloader or stowaway.”
Garrett laughed.
“I think something more auspicious might be needed.”
“Auspicious? Wow. Haven’t heard that actually used in a sentence.”
He grinned. “Yet, it’s true. You carry the promise for humanity’s future. That deserves something more fitting than ‘freeloader.’ No pressure, though.”
“Gee, thanks.”
He took my empty bowl to the sink and turned around with a king-sized candy bar in his hand.
“Dessert, ma’am?”
My mouth watered at the sight of it.
“Dinner and dessert? This is going to turn me into a spoiled diva.”
“I doubt that.”
Garrett broke it open and offered me half as he sat.
“Thank you for having dinner with me,” he said. “It’s nice having a normal conversation that’s not filled with resentful un
dertones.”
“Ditto.”
I took a bite and groaned.
“So good.”
He chuckled, and we consumed our dessert without another word. I’d barely licked the chocolate from my fingertips when the door opened.
Harry stepped in and scowled when he saw me. Carol wasn’t far behind.
“Hey, guys,” Garrett said.
“You’re feeding her our supplies?” Carol demanded, her gaze bouncing from the wrapper still on the table to me.
Garrett picked up the wrapper.
“You went beyond the wall and found this candy bar? I’m sorry, Carol. I didn’t realize.”
He said it all with complete sincerity, and I struggled not to grin.
“Carol, you should go upstairs,” Harry said.
“I have as much right to be down here as the rest of you.” She pulled out a chair at the table and sat.
Harry sighed and did the same.
“How did it go out there today?” he asked. “We got a little worried when you didn’t come back with the rest of the group.”
“It was fine. Mya’s brother went out further for supplies, and a few of us tagged along with him.”
Carol made a sound of disgust at the mention of Mya’s name.
“Makes sense that the fey-lover’s brother would know where they’re hiding supplies,” Carol muttered.
“Hiding? Do you honestly think the fey have a cache just sitting out there somewhere? I searched over a dozen houses today and killed twice as many infected. I showered in freezing water and am wearing a set of clothes I found in a house a mile away. Nothing about today was easy, Carol, and Mya’s brother was right there with me through it all. There was no secret cache of supplies.”
“Easy,” Harry said, holding up his hands. “It’s just that we saw some fey coming back with supplies earlier today. When we checked their storage shed, there was nothing.”
“Did you ever consider that they might be gathering supplies for themselves, just like you are?” I asked. “Mya was clear about what would happen once the storage shed was raided.”
All eyes turned to me. Harry and Carol were visibly less than pleased with my participation in the conversation. Harry opened his mouth to speak first.
“They have a responsibility to—”
