by Ashley West
Abby was quiet for a long moment and then she shook her head. "No. No, they don't. I never called them."
"Why not?"
"Because. Because... I don't know. A lot of reasons. I might not survive this, you know? And if I don't, it's better for them to think I was always dead than for me to tell them I'm alive and then end up dying anyway. I don't think they could handle that. And they've probably already done their mourning, and I don't want to make them think they won't have to do it again."
Sorrin nodded slowly, understanding. Her logic made sense, but he took exception to it. "I see what you mean," he said softly. "But consider this. I never got to see my family again before the attack on the city. I had meant to go have dinner with them, but instead I was busy doing other things. I never made time for it, and they died, and I feel that weighing on me all the time. I wish, more than anything, that I could have said more to them before they died, before everything went wrong. Your family probably feels much the same. If you speak to them now, you can tell them what you're doing, tell them there is a chance they may not see you again. And then at least they will have closure. Does that make sense?"
For a long moment, Abby didn't say anything, and Sorrin was concerned that maybe he had overstepped his bounds. It wasn't after all, any of his business what she did with her family, or how she chose to handle herself and her personal relationships. But he didn't like to see her look so upset and worried.
Finally she sighed and nodded. "Yeah. It makes sense. I just... I'll have to think about it. I don't want to cause them or anyone else more pain."
"You are a good person," Sorrin said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.
"No, I'm not," she replied. "I'm really not."
Now it was Sorrin's turn to frown. The defeat in her voice was a surprise to him, and he didn't know where it was coming from. "Abby, you're trying to help save your planet and your people, you're trying to spare your family some heartache. I don't know why you would think that makes you anything less than a good person."
Abby didn't say anything at first, and then she slipped out of his lap, getting to her feet. She paced a ways away from him and then moved closer, wringing her hands together and worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. "Sorrin?" she said. "There's something else."
He raised his eyebrows, head tilted to one side. "Something else like what?"
"There's..." She seemed at a loss for words, and it looked like she was about to cry, which was more than a little alarming. The last thing he wanted to see was her in distress, and he reached for her, frowning harder when she stepped back and away from his hand. "There's something I have to tell you, Sorrin. And I just. I can only hope you won't hate me too much when I say it."
"What is it?" Sorrin asked. Did she have a boyfriend somewhere? Had she been lying about wanting him? Was she just using him as hired muscle, so to speak? So many conflicting ideas about what could be happening here went through his head, along with the reminder that this was the reason he had stayed away from relationships and entanglements since the death of his friends and family. Because people were hard and complicated, and he hadn't had the energy for it.
"I...I haven't been honest with you."
Sorrin's heart sank. "About what?"
"About. Well, about a few things. I...when we met, there was..." Her lips were trembling, and her hands were shaking, and Sorrin knew this wasn't going to be anything good.
"What is it?" he asked again.
"When we met, I was in that cell for a reason. I was in that cell because you were in that cell."
"I don't understand."
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and she drew in a deep breath. “I was put in that cell because you were in that cell. The reason it was so easy for us to escape was because they wanted us to escape. They just. Wanted me to escape with you. That was part of their plan.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sorrin said, eyebrows drawn down. He’d thought there was something odd about them being able to get in and out so easily, but he hadn’t assumed that it was something that they had planned. And how did… “How do you know what their plans are?” he asked Abby.
“I didn’t want to do it,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself. “I didn’t have a choice. The...the Caran knew that people were coming. They knew that the others out there wouldn’t let them take Earth, and she...she wanted to make sure it wouldn’t interfere with their plans. So she planted spies.”
And now it was all becoming clear. “Spies,” Sorrin said, voice flat.
“Yes. But I didn’t want to! She said if I didn’t do it, then she would kill everyone. Me, my family, my people. And I didn’t have a choice, and I didn’t even know you when I agreed to do it! I didn’t know what would happen…”
“Your family. Your family that you care about so much they don’t even know you’re alive?”
Abby leaned back like he’d hit her. “That doesn’t mean I wanted them to die. I was doing it to keep people safe.”
“You were doing it because you’re a coward,” Sorrin spat. It was harsh, but he felt betrayed. “And the rest of it? Did you...were you only close to me because of this?”
“No!” Abby said quickly, taking a step forward. “Sorrin, no. I swear to god that wasn’t what this was. I got close to you because I wanted to. Because I wanted...I wanted you. It didn’t have anything to do with the Camadors.”
“How can I believe that? Everything you’ve said to me so far has been a lie.”
“That’s not true!”
“It may as well have been!” Sorrin shouted back. “You know how I feel about them, and you were working for them the entire time. I told you...I told you all of it. And you were working for them. How did it work, exactly?” he wanted to know. “Were you feeding them information? Everything I told you, everything we planned?” His eyes widened as he realized the greater implications of this. “Are we going to be walking into a trap?”
Abby shook her head fervently and quickly explained to him how the plan had changed. Apparently, she’d been talking to the Camador woman whose life he had spared. Now he understood why she hadn’t wanted him to kill her. As much as he wanted to believe that she hadn’t kissed him, hadn’t slept with him because they were her instructions, his hurt and outrage over being lied to and used were clouding his judgement and making it hard for him to see this as anything other than a betrayal.
He’d trusted her. He’d let Abby in. He’d let her change him for what he thought was the better, and he’d done all of this, adjusted his mission, accepted help from humans, just to keep her safe. Just so that in the end, she would be alright and he might be alive to be able to be with her.
Well. What an idiot he had been.
Abby looked like there was more she wanted to say, but Sorrin was too mad to hear any of it. He needed to leave here. He needed some air. He got to his feet in one fluid motion and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Abby asked, sounding hysterical.
“Back to my ship,” he replied, voice positively frigid.
“But…”
“Don’t worry,” Sorrin said. “I will still fight. I won’t leave you here to deal with this on your own, even if it is what you deserve. The Camadors are still my mission, and I plan to see it through until the end. After that, you are on your own.”
And with that, he turned to leave, not looking back once.
Chapter Twelve: Hurt
Misery. That was pretty much the only word for this. She felt terrible, for what she had done, for what was to come, for all the things Sorrin had said. He hadn’t even let her explain herself, not really, but she couldn’t exactly blame him. She’d gone and betrayed him, and she knew that had to hurt. Especially since he’d opened up to her. He’d let her in, and she’d been working for the ones who had hurt him the whole time.
Guilt and shame were warring inside of her, and she was beginning to wish that she’d never gotten out of that cell. Be
ing a prisoner for five months had been terrible, yes, but it hadn’t felt like this. Like she’d had something and then lost it. Like there would never be anything like it again.
More than anything she wanted to go to Sorrin and make things right. She’d throw herself at his feet and beg for his forgiveness if it would get him to listen to her, to hear her out. But in lieu of that, she called her parents.
The amount of crying that happened on her mother’s end was expected, but she hadn’t expected her father to burst into tears. Her sister had apparently left the city and hadn’t come back yet, but they knew she was safe. They were overjoyed to hear from their eldest daughter and to know that she was alright, and Abby took the time to explain everything to them. How she’d been taken, what had happened after that, what was going to happen now.
They were horrified to hear that she’d been a prisoner, and even more horrified to hear how close she'd come to dying if the Caran hadn’t been satisfied with her answer. It was something of a comfort to know that her parents at least seemed to understand that she hadn’t had much of a choice in the matter when it came to doing what the Caran wanted her to do. Abby left out a good bit about Sorrin, seeing as he hated her now and what they’d had probably wouldn’t be relevant again.
They wanted her to come to them, to leave the city and the chaos and make their way to the place where they were safe now, and Abby thought about it seriously for all of five minutes. She wanted to do it, to see her family and to be done with this, but in the end, she couldn't make herself leave. This was a battle, and she was in the middle of it, whether she liked it or not. One way or another, she had to see this through.
"I'll see you once this is all done," she said.
"How do you know that will happen soon?" her mother had asked her tearfully, and Abby could hear the worry in her voice. It must have been hard for her, to have her eldest daughter gone and wrapped up in something so dangerous. Abby would make it up to her when it was all over. Assuming she survived this, of course.
"Because we have a plan. I can't explain too much, Mom, but it'll be over soon."
She ended the call and then flopped back on her bed, resisting the urge to cry again.
God, how had she gotten like this? She still didn't even really know Sorrin all that well, and now she probably wouldn't get the chance to know him any better. Not when it looked like he was never going to speak to her again. She hoped he didn't die in the coming fight. She wanted him to get what he wanted out of this. His revenge, his closure. And then he would probably go back to his planet or to the colonies, and she would never see him again.
For someone she'd only known for a short time, he had carved a place for himself in her heart, and it was hard for her to make peace with the fact that he probably hated her now.
Not that she could blame him.
With no one to talk to or spend time with, being free from her prison quickly became boring. She cleaned her apartment, she did laundry, and she went shopping. The people who were left in the city were all wary and tense; not sure what it meant that the floating city was still there, not trusting when people said that it would be okay.
To them, it was something foreign, and they all remembered when the Camador man had come down and told them that they would have to submit.
People had been taken, and then nothing else had happened. Some probably assumed that the taking of prisoners was the end of it, but as Abby moved through the city, she could see that there were plenty of people who believed something worse was coming. They would shoot nervous glances up at the floating city and then look away, not wanting to be seen even looking at it, apparently. Abby wanted to soothe them. To let them know that there was someone who was going to help, but that seemed like counting your chickens before they hatched.
Sorrin was honorable, and he would still help the fight even though he hated her now, so at least there was that. The rest of it would have to play out before any concrete promises could be made.
She tried not to spend too much time outside. The worry on people's faces tended to make her worry, too, and she still wasn't convinced that the Camadors weren't going to come looking for her. Kaleth had said she would help, but Abby wasn't sure about trusting her. She wasn't as paranoid about it as Sorrin had been, but there was still something about putting your life in the hands of someone who was once an enemy that kept a person a little on edge.
Sorrin would understand. He'd have told her that she should never trust a Camador in the first place, or whatever happened to her as a result would be deserved. They'd bicker about it, and then she'd curl up against him.
God, she missed that. It had only been about a month, but they'd developed a routine that was wonderfully comforting.
He'd hold her when she asked him to, pet her hair, and generally make her feel like things were going to be okay. It was sort of an amazing feat for someone who was so gloomy most of the time. But then, Abby had begun to feel like he really cared, lately. Until she'd ruined everything, of course.
Sometimes when she was lying in her bed, she remembered how things had been. It was only a few days ago, but already she missed the way his hands felt on her. The way he would loom over her in bed, sitting on his knees as he ran those callused hands over her body. She'd be bare for him, maybe a little damp and still warm from her shower, and he'd touch every part of her. Those thick fingers worked wonders on sore, tense muscles, and also brought her pleasure when he stroked her nipples or her neck or the space between her legs.
He knew how to touch a woman, that was for certain, and he'd taken the time to learn how to touch her and make her feel good. Every stroke of those fingers, or his palms, or his mouth had her arching and squirming, making soft noises of pleasure for him that made him hard.
Knowing that she could do that to him, someone who could have anyone he wanted, was amazing. The effect he had on her was mirrored in the effect she had on him, and it was a loop she was happy to be a part of.
She remembered one time in particular, when he'd kissed her breathless on the bed, his hands moving over her body. He'd left a trail of fire and pleasure as he kissed from her lips to her neck and then up to her ear, biting her earlobe lightly before laving the slight sting away with his tongue.
He'd whispered filthy things in her ear and brought her to her climax with nothing but his fingers and his words over and over again. And then, when she'd been worn out and trembling from the pleasure, he'd pushed into her and had taken her slowly.
Abby could still remember the way it had felt, her body over sensitive and drawn tight, and how she'd nearly sobbed when she'd come once more with him buried deep inside of her.
Their eyes had caught and held, and when he'd found his release, he had buried his face in the crook of her neck, softer words whispered now than before.
She thought that was a time she'd never forget. Sorrin made her feel wanted and beautiful and like she could rely on someone to keep her safe and protected without having to sacrifice any of her dreams to do so. He'd made her feel like no one else had ever had before, and now he wanted nothing else to do with her.
It was depressing, and laying around in her bed making herself feel worse by dwelling on (and considering getting off on) old memories was something that was beneath her. Abby had never let things stop her. She'd never let something slow her down for too long once she'd set her mind on it.
There was a battle to win, and even though she and Sorrin weren't united anymore, she wasn't going to drop her end of things. The prisoners would be freed, and the humans would fight with the warriors from space. They would take back their planet.
"We will do it," she muttered to herself, sitting up.
"Do you always talk to yourself?" a curious, lovely voice asked.
Abby nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn't had a visitor since Sorrin had stormed out almost a week ago, and now Kaleth was standing in her bedroom door looking a strange combination of bored and amused.
"How did
you get in here?" Abby demanded, pressing a hand over her galloping heart. "Better question: why are you even here?"
"Human locks are an embarrassment," Kaleth replied coolly. "And I needed to speak to you."
She supposed that was fair. It wasn't like Kaleth had a phone to call her on or anything. But still.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I've reported to the Caran," Kaleth said. She dropped the expression on her face and then shuddered.
Abby's eyes widened. "Are you alright?"
"Have you ever had to lie to the supreme leader of your kind?" Kaleth wanted to know. "I was certain that every second that went by was going to be my last. I was on the floor, you've seen how we must be when we are in her presence, and I lied to her. I fed her a fake plan that you were supposedly coming up with and led her to believe you were still loyal. She could have killed me."
She wasn't blind to the risk Kaleth had taken. For her, for humans as a whole. The way Theolette seemed to run things, it wasn't unheard of for her to murder someone right then and there for giving her bad information.
And yet Kaleth was still standing.
"You did great," Abby said, smiling at her. "You're helping so much."
Kaleth looked startled, like she'd never received praise before. Abby wouldn't have been surprised if she hadn't with the way things seemed to go for the Camadors in general.
"I don't want her to succeed," she murmured, looking away.
"I know," Abby said. "And I appreciate it."
Seemingly caught off guard by this, Kaleth waved an elegant hand. "Just make sure that you and your barbarian are ready for this. It will not be easy to walk into the city and take it. Speaking of, where is your brute?"
"Do you have to call him that?"
"Yes," Kaleth replied, lifting an eyebrow. "He tried to kill me. I assumed he'd have a sword pointed at my face as soon as I walked through the door."
If Sorrin had been there, then that was actually a safe assumption. Abby sighed. "He's not here."
"What do you mean, he's not here? I thought he was determined to become your shadow. Why anyone would want to get that close to a human is beyond me."
