by Far Freedom
“I was watching you fight,” he said in Twenglish. “You don’t like men, do you?”
“I like them well enough,” she replied in Twenglish, surprised one so young should speak it so well, surprised it came so easily to her own tongue. She had watched too many old flat movies, especially as a kid. She learned the old version of English because she lived too long and was too bored. There was so much entertainment media and historical data in Twenglish.
He was adorable. Her repressed maternal person rose from the dead. That was a delicious surprise! Maternal, indeed! The child’s dark eyes studied her face and darted to other people in the gym, relentlessly inquisitive. He also had a little smile that was infectious. “Are you augmented?” he asked.
“I have the usual Marine hardware. What happened to your leg?” She was horrified at the sight of his injury. It was a pleasant shock to feel so shocked. She didn’t believe the rumor, but here it was. She tried not to stare at it.
“I’m not supposed to talk about it. Are you that good at martial arts, or is your security squad that bad? You beat all of them, one after the other.”
“I don’t like to lose.” He had watched her for that long? Why? “Nor do I want incompetent people under my command. What’s your name?”
” Sammy.”
“My name is Jamie.” She offered her hand to him.
“I know.” He got up on his crutch to take her hand.
His hand felt so tiny in hers! He seemed genuinely pleased to meet her. She felt the same. He made her feel good. She hadn’t felt good for a long time. “You know my name already? How do you know?”
Sammy shrugged and kept his smile. Jamie was intrigued. He didn’t look like he would tell her. Perhaps it was best not to act too much like a bullying Marine. Did she have subtlety to help her learn his secret? Probably not. “Do you like to watch this type of activity?”
“I like to watch people. I don’t like to see people hurt each other.”
He saw people hurt each other, Jamie thought. How many childless people educated themselves on theories of child rearing? She had studied all of the literature, in ever fainter hope of one day becoming a parent. Violence was a major topic in the training of prospective parents. Someone was failing their duty to Sammy. “It isn’t right to hurt someone, even when they might deserve it. Unfortunately, I’m a military police officer, and I often have to deal with violence.” Jamie sat down and wiped the perspiration from her face and arms with her towel. He sat down next to her. “Did you come here to meet me? You seemed to be waiting for me to finish.”
“I like to talk to people.” Sammy smiled, making Jamie know he was hiding something.
“I think that’s an evasive reply.” She spoke with mock seriousness. “I’m the Chief of Security on this ship, and I have to question suspicious persons. Why are you here? Are you related to someone on the crew?” She hoped she didn’t frighten the child, although it looked as if he was perfectly at ease with her. If only he knew how the sight of him made her feel. Children were so rare.
“I’m not related to anyone.” Sammy looked pensive for a moment, then he smiled again. “You can’t beat Zakiya.”
“Who is she?”
“Sammy!”
Jamie looked for the speaker. She saw the black uniform, the sparkle of diamond stars. “Admiral on deck!” Jamie jumped to attention.
The handful of military personnel using the gymnasium stopped their activities - if it was safe to do so - and came to attention. Sammy pulled himself up again and tucked his crutch under his arm. He waited for the admiral to approach, but the admiral stayed in the doorway.
“As you were,” the admiral ordered.
Sammy waited. The admiral waited. Jamie relaxed and looked from boy to admiral, wondering what their relationship was. “I think she wants you to leave, Sammy.” She was disappointed that he would be leaving.
“I thought she would want to meet you.”
Everyone wanted to meet her, Jamie thought, even though she put out warning buoys and left disaster in her wake. Perhaps that was the attraction, and she attracted the wrong kind of people. Who was this admiral, and what the hell was she doing with a child? She should have studied the ship’s roster more closely. Khalanov was the only admiral she knew was aboard.
Sammy moved away from Jamie, using his crutch as a second leg, which looked dangerous to her. Gravity plates could be inconsistent. She stayed close, concerned for his safety. She looked up and saw the admiral carried a second crutch Sammy must have abandoned. Their eyes met. She couldn’t look away from the admiral, until Sammy stumbled and both women rushed to catch him. Jamie was closer and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
“Two crutches, Sammy,” the admiral said reprovingly in Twenglish. She handed him the second crutch as Jamie released him. When Sammy took the crutch the admiral let her eyes move back to Jamie.
“Lieutenant Jamie Jones.” Jamie snapped a salute, trying not to get trapped again by the admiral’s eyes.
“Demba,” Zakiya replied, swallowing her urge to tell this woman who she really was. It was too soon! The ship needed to sail first. So this was what Sammy was looking for as he explored the ship: Jamie, the person who was very probably her daughter. How had Sammy seized on Jamie’s name, then connected it to someone on the ship? He had help, and she thought she knew who: Freddy.
The admiral returned Jamie’s salute. Few admirals bothered to return the salute of a junior officer. Jamie never heard one speak Twenglish. “I’m the Security Chief, sir.”
“Mission Commander,” Zakiya said.
“Pleased to meet you, Admiral.” This was the Mission Commander? Not Khalanov? She cursed herself for concentrating too much on the dregs of Marine personnel she was given to lead, leaving the Navy officers largely out of her business. She did a quick shiplink perusal of the Navy crew and found Demba at the top of the chain of command. She dared to keep the admiral waiting while she quickly pulled up a summary of the admiral’s record. Former commander of Navy Archives? No recent ship duty? She was no better than Khalanov! Jamie was stuck in another assignment under incompetent officers. Probably a fatal situation, then. Fine! Everyone knew it was a risky mission. This made it perfect. They would probably go down without a fight!
She extended her right hand reluctantly, and the admiral started to do the same. The admiral hesitated. Jamie drew her hand partly back, then stopped and returned it, demanding the handshake. Jamie watched the admiral make up her mind and finally take her hand, as though it meant a lot more than it should. She squeezed the admiral’s hand hard to see what she would do. For a second she did nothing but suffer the pressure, then she smiled and countered Jamie’s force. More than countered it. The admiral was stronger than she looked.
Zakiya was relieved the handshake didn’t seem to trigger the release of her daughter’s hidden memories. She shouldn’t have taken the chance but Zakiya couldn’t resist touching her daughter. If only she could stop staring at Jamie! If only her own memories would slow down and stop blinding her! “Jamie Jones.” She was reluctant to release her hand, not wanting the wonderful contact with her own child to end. Jamie had such an interesting face, a face that reminded her of Alex. She had to find something to say that would cut off the emotions that were threatening to expose everything and make her cry. “You look like trouble.” Zakiya knew Jamie was trouble - on many levels. How could she continue to function in her presence? “You’ve been out of the brig for almost five years. Are you overdue?”
Sort of a compliment, Jamie thought. Would Demba like something less than a compliment? ” You’ve been out of Archives for only a month. Are you overachieving?”
“I apologize for the negative remark. I see you have an edge to you.” She finally released Jamie’s hand. She was relieved yet disappointed she was able to hold back the tears.
An admiral apologizing? Demba was a qualified line officer a long time ago. Jamie was still studying her record by shiplink. Did Archives so
ften her that much? She was now unsure how to act. The presence of the injured child added to the confusion. She chose a small retreat. “I’m a Marine, ma’am, but that’s no excuse for poor manners. I apologize.”
“What do you think of her, Sammy?” Zakiya held Sammy by the shoulders, so that he faced Jamie. It was, of course, the wrong thing to say. Zakiya could hardly think of anything safe to say. Why had Sammy got her into this situation?
“She doesn’t look like you,” Sammy answered.
Zakiya couldn’t dare to stay on this topic. She had to stop talking to Sammy. She was also tempted to put her hand over Sammy’s mouth if he opened it again.
Jamie was intrigued by this exchange. She stared thoughtfully at the admiral for a second. Demba wasn’t as large as most female admirals. She wasn’t imposing. She wasn’t menacing. The strongest impression Jamie got from the woman was kindness. Kindness! Perhaps it was all for the child’s benefit. “Excuse me, ma’am, but are you talking about me?”
“How do you feel, Lieutenant?” Zakiya was momentarily concerned Jamie had reacted to her by experiencing a hidden memory.
“How do I feel?”
“Psychologically.”
“Why?”
“Never mind. Carry on.” Apparently Zakiya was not a key to Jamie’s hidden memories. It was now time to retreat, before she lost control of her emotions, as she was sure would happen any second now.
Admiral Demba turned to leave. Jamie felt a moment of near panic. She realized she was desperate to continue this meeting with the Mission Commander, and didn’t understand why. “Wait, Admiral, please! Uh, Sammy isn’t coming with us, is he?” Why did Jamie suspect that was the case? They were obviously not related but she could feel a strong bond between them.
“Yes, he is.”
The admiral paused, waiting for Jamie to respond. Jamie felt very slow-witted at the moment. She was missing something. She was probably missing everything. Speaking Twenglish invited errors in comprehension. These two might as well be citizens of another universe, as poorly as she understood them. Why the hell would she be taking a child on this mission? “Why?” she finally asked.
” Sammy has no one but me to care for him.” Zakiya still stared too much at Jamie. This conversation was becoming torture for her, the yearning for her daughter was so intense.
She must seem interesting to Demba in some odd way, Jamie thought. It wasn’t the same way that her superior officers usually stared at her - as a burden to their command. The ancient navy expression loose cannon came to mind. “I’m told this will be a dangerous mission.” The admiral said nothing to deny the fact. She just stared at her. She didn’t like being stared at. Jamie took a deep breath, preparing to injure her career once more. “I can’t abide endangering a child, Admiral.”
“That sounds like an ultimatum, Lieutenant.”
“I am the Chief of Security on this ship, Admiral. His safety concerns me. Can’t you leave him with someone?”
The admiral showed no negative reaction to this insubordination. She held her gaze on Jamie, as she asked: “Do you want to stay behind, Sammy?”
“No! I want to go with you!”
“He’s not responsible for making such a decision, Admiral. You are.” Sammy looked up at the admiral and she looked down at him. Jamie Jones went down on one knee in order to look up at both of them. She was shocked at herself for the intensity of her feeling. But the child was - a child! It was unthinkable to bring a child on this mission! “You must agree that it’s safer not to be on this ship. Otherwise, I don’t see how I can have any confidence in your ability to command the mission.”
A moment of silence stretched to an awkward length, with the admiral merely gazing at her. The admiral probably knew she had no confidence in her anyway. Jamie finally sat down on the floor. All of the other people in the gym had taken an interest in the confrontation. Jamie looked around at them, frowning, then back to the admiral. The admiral must be waiting to see how far she would go. The boy - perhaps it wasn’t hard to imagine that even an admiral could want a child of her own, could be so selfish that she would do anything to get a child and keep him. She should feel sorry for them both. “I don’t understand why you aren’t reprimanding me or calling for my arrest. Even that is disappointing to me! You don’t seem to care about this child, and by extrapolation, the mission. You’ll have my formal resignation on your desk as soon as I can do it.” She got up from the floor, saluted, and started to walk away.
“I won’t accept your resignation.” There was no way Zakiya could leave Jamie behind!
Jamie halted and turned around. Admirals didn’t impress her. She cared little whether she retained her rank or spent time in the brig. Most of her concern was with a lack of meaning in her life. That was why she welcomed this assignment. It was a chance to die, or at least find excitement. But this admiral bothered her beyond what she could have believed possible. “Why not?” She could hardly contain her impatience.
“Who would replace you, Lieutenant? Would they do the job as well as you?”
“I’m the best you can get, despite what my record implies, Admiral.” Judging from what she saw of much of the crew, Jamie could understand the admiral’s reluctance to lose even such a troublemaker as herself.
“I believe what you claim. Stay and help me protect Sammy. I’m pleased with your concern for his safety. I know I’m putting him at risk. But I believe he will be safer aboard this ship than elsewhere.”
“How can he be, Admiral?”
“There is a fantastic story that answers your question, and you will never hear it if you abandon the mission. Sammy stays with me.”
“Tell me, Admiral.” Jamie was surprised it was so easy to make the decision. Fantastic story? “I’m staying.”
“In time,” Demba said in a calm, carefully controlled manner. It was almost as if she was speaking to Jamie the way she would speak to a misbehaving child. She should have dressed Jamie down with loud angry words. It could be a sign of weakness in the admiral or in her situation. Neither thought sat well with Jamie. She was probably older than the admiral, not that age had any bearing on matters, but Jamie was too old to accept some kind of personal patronage from an admiral desperate to retain what miserable crew she had.
“The ship has no armaments,” Jamie commented, searching for some way to prolong the agony - and probably ruin whatever relationship she might have with this strange admiral. It was Jamie’s way: ruin everything.
“Correct. If we must fight, we will lose.”
“Fight whom? We’ve never known why ships were lost.”
Jamie stared at Demba for a long moment waiting for a response. Why did she say nothing? The admiral seemed only interested in looking at her, as though she was some form of entertainment. No, that wasn’t correct. Admiral Demba didn’t look at her as a specimen. She couldn’t decipher how she viewed her and that unnerved her - and Jamie never lost her nerve. She tried another approach. She was now hoping for some reason to accept this woman as her commanding officer, and she wondered why she would hope for that. Perhaps it was the mystery of the pair of them. “You should wear your medals, ma’am,” Jamie said carefully. “You were in the War.” It was against regulations not to wear them, but an admiral could do anything she pleased.
“Why should I wear someone else’s medals?”
The reply almost stopped Jamie. She was never smart enough to stop before she maximized the damage. “How can you inspire the crew with confidence about your abilities, if your uniform looks like you’ve spent your entire career doing nothing important or dangerous?” She looked again at the list of awards bestowed on Demba. The medal at the end of the list scrolled into Jamie’s view in her ocular shiplink. “My God! You’ve received the highest award!”
“I did nothing but kill people.” Zakiya knew she had not died in combat, knew it was all falsified. Perhaps Commodore Keshona deserved that honor. She must have risked her life to kill the Rhyan Empire. But she must a
lso have had a choice to do it or not, and from Zakiya’s current perspective, it was the wrong choice. “I’m not that person.” She actually meant she was not Keshona. “They’re not my medals.”
Jamie thought it was an incredible thing for an admiral to say! If admirals were not warriors, they were nothing! It was their business to be able to kill. Demba died in action and seemed to consider that person as permanently dead.
A message reached Jamie through shiplink, which relieved her. The confrontation had reached an intensity for her that she could neither understand nor tolerate any longer. “A crime was committed against one of the crew. I need to go to the hospital, Admiral.”
” You shouldn’t have reported it! It was just an accident!”
The woman was impossible! Mai couldn’t reason with her. It was understandable that she was upset and not thinking clearly - she was a victim of terrible brutality. She glimpsed the bruises, abrasions, and blood. There must be other wounds or else there would not be cut and torn pieces of an admiral’s uniform on the floor. It had to be reported!
“You were assaulted!” She was losing what little composure she regained after finding Aylis Mnro trying to medicate herself in the emergency clinic.
“Just go away and let me clean up!”
“I know you have serious injuries. Please, let me help you!”
“Not serious! You shouldn’t have been so curious! Why did you have to find me?”
Jon arrived. Mai met him in front of a privacy screen. He saw how upset she was and put an arm around her shoulders. She twisted away from him. He was someone else she couldn’t help! She put her hand on a tubular package that seemed out of place in the emergency room. It elicited Aylis’s angry “Don’t touch that!” How did she even know she touched it?
“It’s her,” Jon said, sounding properly concerned.
“Yes!”
” You called Security.”
“Of course! This was just so unexpected! My first day in the ship’s hospital. I wondered why Doctor Mnro wasn’t here. I looked for her. I found her! She won’t let me help her! She won’t tell me what happened! She won’t tell me anything !”
