by Far Freedom
Zakiya decided not to pursue the argument. She agreed with him. Sadly she reminded herself that he and she would never be that newly married couple so in love with each other. She believed, however, they could become at least a derivative of those two people and perhaps find an equivalent magic to their relationship. Short of violence and a risky medical procedure, she had no idea how she could make it happen. “I would ask you also to wait. I do have a task you might do for me, a very dangerous task, and perhaps suited to your current abilities.”
“I’ll do it, whatever it is. Tell me about it.”
“It may be an impossible task,” she said. “It’s still very early in the planning stages. It may never come about. But the mere idea of it should make you reconsider your entire reason for existing in this state of war against barbarians.”
“Intriguing,” Alex said. “Go on.”
“Are you hungry? I’ve prepared a meal for us.”
“I am. I haven’t had time to think about food. I like the way you are raising my interest and my expectations. Frankly, I dreaded coming here.”
“You used to do the cooking.” She started to set the table.
“I probably used to do a lot of things I can’t imagine doing.”
“You would be surprised. Has Koji told you why everyone stares at you?”
“I assumed it was because I was your husband. What other reason would they have?”
“I won’t tell you.” It seemed too strange and too inappropriate to try to explain to him how he was a very live fictional hero.
“It would help if I had an active shiplink.”
She brought the meals to the kitchen table and they sat down. She poured more tea from a pitcher. “In a few days you can use your shiplink. We will, of course, be watching what you do with it.”
“I think Patrick has given you much reason to beware of us. It’s understandable. We haven’t always treated him well. His motivation is correct. I hope we don’t rise to the level of threat he accords us. Truthfully, there may be no limit to what we could attempt, except the limit of death.”
She almost shivered at his words. Even though it was a terrible truth, it was truth. Perhaps in some deeply psychological way, his warning was a cry for help. Or was it? She was so full of clashing thoughts and leaking memories and suppressed emotions that it was difficult to guide a fork between her lips, much less analyze a stranger who meant too much to her. She ate half her meal before she lost her appetite. She sipped tea as she watched and waited for him to finish eating. There was nothing in his manner, in his voice, in his words that would match some remembrance of the man she once loved. This was somebody else. “What do you know about our two captains?” She wondered if he knew who Jamie was.
“I met Jon Horss,” he answered. “Seems a bit eccentric but he must be competent. I wasn’t able to meet Captain Jones. The Marines think highly of her. She used to command them.”
“I can bring her here for you to meet, if you like.”
“If you think I should.”
“Koji hasn’t told you who she is?”
“That makes me wonder,” Alex said. “I trust Koji with my life, but I don’t trust him to play a game fairly with me. Is he playing another game? Why should I want to know this captain?”
” She’s going to feel awkward and perhaps apprehensive meeting you, Alex. I hope you can be kind to her, but don’t pretend to be fatherly.”
“Fatherly?”
” She’s your daughter. Not too many years after you left me, I impregnated myself with sperm you gave me. I was lonely, and for a few years I got to be a mother. Then I had to give her up. We’re still trying to find some of what we lost.”
“This is going to be harder than impossible.”
“You don’t want to meet Jamie?”
“I certainly do. It’s just that mere existence is a challenge for me. A daughter would be… As Patrick has often said: ‘Just take the next breath and the next step. It’s bloody easy.’”
Alex paced while Zakiya cleared away the kitchen. She wondered if this was a natural reaction for the current Alex, whether he could be anxious about anything, including his own execution.
Jamie arrived and chose to salute her as though she was reporting for duty. “Jamie, he knows who you are. I think he’s more anxious than you are. Just relax and take a close look at him. You may not have him around very long.”
“Mom and Dad! This is damned strange!” She put out her hand for Alex to take. He took it.
“It’s going to take awhile.” Alex gently squeezed her hand, frowning at her in good humor.
“I’ve got time. What did she mean about you not being around very long?”
“I presume she means a special mission she is planning for me.”
“What special mission?”
“I’m going to ask him to rescue someone,” Zakiya replied.
“That’s… cruel,” Jamie said. “Does he know who it is?”
“You are part of my introduction to him. Do you want to stay and watch?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“Sit down,” Zakiya instructed them, taking a seat in the livingroom. The three of them were silent for a few moments as Zakiya paused to calm herself and collect the thread of her intentions. She watched Jamie, who looked at Alex with strong and mixed emotions. When she finally glanced back at her, Zakiya started to speak again. “Alex?” she said, seeing that he had closed his eyes. He opened them. “Is something wrong?”
“Somewhere there is happiness,” he said softly. “I can smell it on the breeze from the lake.” She didn’t know how to respond. “I hope it comes your way,” he added.
“But not to you?” Jamie asked.
“I fear it. I run from it. Don’t listen to me. It’s just a feeble attempt to subvert your antipathy for me.”
“Why would I hate you?” Jamie said. “I don’t know how I feel about you.”
“Listen to yourself. I’m already succeeding.”
They both turned to look at Zakiya, as though she called for their attention. Zakiya was content to let them converse, so that she could imagine the potential father-daughter relationship. “Would you fear to come live with me?” Zakiya asked Alex.
“I would live with you if you wished,” he replied easily. “But it would be improper.”
“How so? You’re my husband.”
“Our wedding vows terminated at death. Your husband died a long time ago.”
“And if I ask you to marry me?”
“You fight unfairly! I like that. Would the vows mean anything if spoken by a dead man?”
” So you make me a widow?”
“I’m a cruel person. I’ve tried to warn you.”
“I deserve no better. We’re more alike than you know, Ghost.”
“I await your decision.”
“As do I. I’m apt to make poor decisions when haunted.”
“What is this dangerous task that you have long delayed explaining to me?”
“I want you to rescue a Navy admiral named Etrhnk. He was the Navy Commander until recently.”
“He is not a barbarian?”
“Perhaps he thinks he is.” “Which question do I ask next? Tell me more.”
“He was our spy among the barbarians, Alex. He learned everything about them by becoming one of them. But at the sacrifice of his own identity.”
“And now he’s in trouble.”
“Perhaps already dead. We stole this ship from him. He let us.”
“The greatest feat of courage I can imagine! And he was so adept that he rose to the rank of Navy Commander? Who was he? How did you recruit him?”
“His name was Petros. Aylis recruited him.”
“Petros? A Greek name.”
“Petros Gerakis. Our son. Jamie’s brother.”
Section 035 Last Tango
Aylis watched Setek through the eyes of her son. No closer than that did she feel safe from him. Although Setek had s
hown not the slightest interest in her, she was able to fret over what he might do in a sudden shift of his attention onto her. He was not the Setek she remembered in any aspect of his character. What was more upsetting was that he was the Setek she remembered she always wanted him to be: superficial. She never thought of it as superficial. She called it human, or Earthian. Now her auxiliary memory abused her with detail she didn’t see then as important. The original Setek was in fact everything she wanted in a mate. She was too full of herself, too blind, too deafened by too many distractions to appreciate Setek’s quiet kindness. Even his patience she misinterpreted as tolerance, and now she could see it was love.
Setek spent much of his time with Direk and Iggy. This would be normal for the old Setek, owing to his scientific background and curiosity. Now she doubted his motives were anything more than tactical analysis of the science and engineering of the ship. She ought to stop this eavesdropping through Direk. It was not helping her emotionally. It was a probable blotch on her own character that his imagined menace and his physical appearance fascinated her. She was startled when she became the subject of the conversation she overheard through her shiplink.
“How is your mother?” Setek inquired of Direk.
” She’s listening to us through shiplink. Perhaps she would be surprised at my appraisal of her condition. I think she’s doing very well. Would you care to visit with her?”
No no no! Aylis thought, yet held her tongue.
“Would you accompany me?” Setek asked.
“That would be required. Why haven’t you asked of her before now?”
“It was obvious she was terrified of me. Nor was I prepared to meet her. I’m still not. Will she see me?”
There was a moment of silence and Aylis realized they were waiting for her decision. “Yes,” she said to Direk by shiplink.
Setek might never recover the contents of his auxiliary memory, or if he did, it could prove useless in repairing his personality. Aylis might never have more than what Setek now was, unless she could help him change.
Aylis arrived at Direk’s apartment feeling very pregnant after the long walk. The Marine at the door saluted her, and thus she knew Setek arrived before her. She stood at the door for a few moments, waiting for her courage, but only worsening the anticipation. She didn’t have the Navy augment that would relieve the chemical reaction to stress. She was almost to the point of trembling when Jamie opened the door. The anxiety all but disappeared then. Only Zakiya could have a better effect on her emotions. It was difficult not to embarrass Jamie with her gratitude for her presence.
“Jamie! I didn’t expect you to be here. I’m so glad you are.”
“Dick made me wear this dress as the price of admission.”
Aylis was taken aback by the sight of Jamie in feminine attire. Jamie made a pirouette and a curtsy for her inspection. Aylis laughed and was astonished at herself. Music started playing from some unseen source, filling the apartment with a lively beat and a classical Latin American composition. Aylis turned to see Setek approaching, Direk behind him.
“May I have this dance?” Setek asked her, offering his hand.
“Oh, no! I can’t dance. And my feet are tired.”
“I’m so sorry. Then I shall ask the lovely Jamie if she would humor me.”
“I’ll need a quick lesson,” Jamie said, taking his hand. “Is it a tango?”
“Nothing so ancient as that. I don’t remember what the dance is called. I don’t remember why I had to learn it. And I think it’s the only dance I know. Watch me and think about doing it in reverse. Then we’ll practice. It’s done at several tempos, often in increasing speed.”
Aylis sat down to watch and took off her shoes.
Direk sat next to her. “I’m glad you came.”
Aylis watched Setek do what Setek might never have done two centuries ago. Even though his features were nearly identical to his former self, he still didn’t look the same. The white hair that once seemed sophisticated now reflected a hint of metallic silver and was eye-catching and exotic to Earthian eyes - old Earthian eyes. His skin which always betrayed a slight tint of darker Earthian ancestry now caught the light with a light coppery hue. Setek was genetically modified in childhood to have a unique physical aesthetic, which he always muted through choice of clothing and skin lotions, but now he displayed his elite Essiin heritage with apparent pride. His nearly clear eyes - dark at the pupil - lost their probing habit and now seemed only an organic jewelry.
“Have you made a decision?” Direk asked. The cold way he said it made Aylis think of the old Direk. Perhaps he hadn’t relearned the subtle inflections he had so long filtered from his voice. She was sure he felt apprehensive.
“I don’t know if I can make a fair decision,” Aylis said, leaning close to make sure he heard her through the interference of the brisk dance music.
“Then make an unfair one.” She heard his regret, as though he already knew what had to be done.
Aylis watched Setek and Jamie dance and tried not to think. She had already done her thinking. It was not a bad image with which to end a dream, with Jamie in it. She put on her shoes when the music stopped. She stood up. “Direk, do you have something slower Setek and I can dance to?”
“What kind?” Direk asked, surprised.
” Something quiet, so we can also talk.”
Setek seemed pleased to take her hand, to put his other hand around her waist. She felt a momentary pleasure in this ancient ritual of sexual relations. Direk began to play his string bass. She and Setek no more than shuffled their feet, and as they better synchronized he drew her closer. She put her face on his shoulder. She was only vaguely aware of her pregnant geometry.
“I wonder what it’s like,” she said, “to listen to another person’s thoughts.”
Setek didn’t react physically to her words, except for a few moments of delay in responding. “We wondered how thorough you were and when you would ask about it.”
“We were very thorough. We wondered why you didn’t volunteer that you had telepathic capability. It has tactical importance.”
“Our lives have depended on it. Alex and I needed to exchange vital information secretly while engaging our targets. Koji needed to know the dynamics of an encounter, so he could arrive before too much was lost. Perhaps we were jealous of our one technical accomplishment and failed to fully understand we were among friends.”
“I don’t think you understand that yet. You are not only among friends but we are those friends who truly love you. We are more than friends.”
“It is a tragedy. But we have honestly warned you about us.”
“How did you lose yourselves?” She didn’t expect any good answer, and realized too late that she didn’t want an answer.
“We died too many times. Alex thinks our souls gave up on us and departed at some point. I think we used rejuvenation too often, to keep our youthful strength, and the process eventually culled something moral from our brains.”
Aylis stopped dancing and pulled away from Setek. “My feet still hurt. Let’s sit down. Come, sit beside me.”
Direk stopped playing his bass. Aylis sat down and took Setek’s hand as he sat beside her on the sofa. Setek smiled at her and patted her hand. “I’m not so bad, do you think? You seem completely relaxed now. You know I will never hurt you.”
“But you will. I feel sorry for you, Dear. I loved you unwisely once. I even love what is left of you. But not unwisely. Goodbye.”
Jamie watched and listened to Aylis and Setek on the sofa, sitting not far from them. She tried to understand what she heard and was concerned by Aylis’s final word. She glanced over at Direk, who was turned away from them, standing in front of his string bass. He turned around briefly to look at his mother and father. Then he began to play with bow something melancholy on the bass.
Jamie looked back at Aylis and saw her weeping, and Setek leaning heavily upon her shoulder. Aylis stroked Setek’s inert face and contin
ued to weep.
Section 036 Rivers of Galaxies
She missed seeing him for several days. She noticed he looked younger. She examined him more closely. She loved his blue eyes, and even his eyes seemed brighter and clearer. Admiral Khalanov was the dearest man, quiet, perceptive, generous, vastly competent. Sometimes impatient! She was always comfortable in his presence, always looked forward to working with him. “Where were you, sir?” Wingren asked. “I’ve missed you.”
“Offering my old body for the training of medical technicians. I can’t imagine why you missed me.”
“Then you have a poor imagination or a poor opinion of your importance to your staff.”
” Something else I need to improve about myself.”
“Where has Setek-Ren gone, sir?”
“Did you miss him, too?”
“The way I miss a toothache! Oh, he was interesting and entertaining at first, but he began to bother me. Maybe I was prejudiced by his very violent background and the warning Admiral Demba gave us.”
Khalanov never answered her question as to the current activities of Setek-Ren. She didn’t want to question him further, considering the look on his face. Perhaps his summons to assist him in some work would lead to relief of his serious mood. “What will we be doing today, sir?”
“Traveling.” Khalanov started to empty his pockets onto his desk.
“Do we need pressure suits?” It was one possible reason he would need to empty his pockets.
“Possibly, but we’ll begin without them.” The last pocket he emptied contained a cryptikon. He kept it in his hand. “Follow me. We need more room to operate.”
Her heart sped up until her Navy augment calmed it. She experienced the cryptikon closely only once, when Khalanov demonstrated it for the engineering staff. It scared her. Anyone who had a solid knowledge of physics and mechanics, beyond relying on an in-body expert system, had his faith in both science and religion shaken when in the presence of a cryptikon.
They walked to the largely vacant deck where the wreckage of Black Fleet jumpships occupied one bay. Khalanov selected the largest vacant bay.
