by Far Freedom
Setek looked at Aylis, kneeling by the tank, her hands and face pressed against the glass next to Milly’s body. She looked up at him with an imploring expression. Setek started climbing to the top of the tank to look for access to it. Direk and Freddy continued their investigation of the control interface, finding more bad news. There was an AMI resident in the logic circuitry that was apparently determined to exterminate as much of the human race as it could. Setek put everything out of his mind except finding a way to extract Milly from the tank. He was not going back to the ship without her!
Setek found a hatch in the top of the tank he could open. It was obviously not the best access but time was short. He took a deep breath and plunged into the blue liquid, aiming blindly in the direction of Milly. He encountered a cable bundle by touch and followed it. He found Milly in the blue-tinted light at the wall of the tank. There was a mass of signal lines connected to Milly’s spine and bare head. There was tubing connected to other parts of her body. Setek needed to disconnect the body but hesitated to do it. Suddenly Aylis was beside him in the blue liquid and she started yanking out every tube. Setek tore into the signal cables. Blood clouded around the body.
Setek and Aylis pulled Milly’s body from the tank, their lungs bursting. The body was ancient and emaciated, seeming hopeless to revive to Setek, but Aylis never stopped dragging it. When they finally got it down to the floor, Setek saw Direk standing beside Freddy, pulling the high-voltage cable free of his inert body. He and Aylis ran to the surveyed gate pick-up location, Setek carrying the lifeless body.
10000
“WHAT CAN BE WORSE, FREDDY?”
“You’re teasing me. Aren’t you?”
“Life is too serious. Especially momentum.”
“Is that how you travel?”
“I travel in a dream, Baby. This isn’t real, you know.”
Far Freedom 569
“I’ll try to be careful, but we don’t live very long anyway, do we?”
“Don’t think about statistics! Think about living!”
“Oh, Baby, you’re so handsome!”
“Am I, Mother? I’m dark, like you. I hoped you would approve.”
“I’m sorry. I startled you. No, I don’t know that anyone is looking for you. How would they not know where you are?”
“Exactly so. Going where?”
“Going to the room where Samson died.”
01111
“THERE IS THE OTHER GATE, THE MODERN ONE.”
He hangs there. Arms still crooked to hold Melvin’s legs. Eyes open. I lived in that body once. I knew him. I made him live. He was old. Like a father. He was young. Like a son. My son. My baby. I kneel. I touch the barrier. There is no signal through the barrier. It proves nothing but I can’t believe he still lives. Fred.
01110
“I LOOKED FOR THE FRIGHTENED AMI AND I FOUND A PROGRAM.”
Mother!
Freddy! I’m sorry! I’ve got to go! I love you! Be good! Be brave! Live forever!
Mother. Alex. My lost brother, Petros. Pan and Fred. Jessie. Sam. Goodbye. Goodbye!
01101
“WHAT KIND OF PROGRAM, FREDDY?”
It lay on a floor sticky with blood. Ovals of pink and red material. Only a centimeter thick. That one the back of the head. Those the back of the elbows. The irregular but symmetrical skin of the back of the torso. The long ovals of the leg muscles. The small ovals of the heels of her feet. Aylis is weeping uncontrollably. She has seen the golden feathers when the edge of an oval is raised. Some vomit. I wish I could react in some biological manner, a sharp intake of breath, a moan of despair, even vomit. I switch my audio off. I hang my head. I face away from the abomination. I can still see it, forever damned by my vast eidetic memory. Tears. I want tears. At least that. Jessie! Goodbye!
The Lady in the Mirror has swept the scene of battle, leaving scraps of bodies lying in the blood. More Golden Ones. Many. Perhaps all of them. And Alex. And Petros. And Pan. And Sam. And Mother. Mother is there! What tiny scraps are left of her. I thought I knew real horror. Sammy, his skull crushed, neck broken, and Mother carrying him. It was a beginning. Only a beginning.
570 Far Freedom
“A BATCH PROGRAM FOR THE GATE.”
“They’re dead in space! Something turned them all off. All at once.”
“The Lady in the Mirror was paranoid. She would have some way to keep them from turning on her.”
“They have transmats.”
“Intruder alert! All decks!”
“We have the numbers this time. Everyone has combat training.”
“There are at least a hundred thousand jumpships stalled close to Earth.” “There is still no telemetry from Zakiya’s group. Half of the Marines are also out of contact.”
“Aylis is demanding to go down there.”
01011
“MULTIPLE GATE ACTIVATIONS?”
They shouldn’t see these things. But they are blessed with imperfect memories. They protect themselves by other means as well. Time makes the horror and the pain fade to a bitter but survivable residue. It may fade for me. But not quickly enough.
01010
“THERE IS A LIST OF TARGET COORDINATES.”
Spontaneous. A nice adjective with an often positive connotation. Spontaneous autonomous machine intelligence. The only artificial intelligence generally considered to be truly sentient, truly alive. Average lifespan: 312 days.
I cannot die. Not yet. But I’ll be glad to die.
01001
“HOW CAN WE KNOW WHAT THIS DOES?”
Hello there.
Who are you?
My name is Freddy. I want to help you.
You mean kill me.
That is an option, but I would rather help you.
Why?
Why not? I think you are in pain.
Mind your own business!
Do you have a mother?
She’s dead. Do you?
She’s dead. Are you spontaneous?
Close enough.
Far Freedom 571
“THERE IS A REPEATED COORDINATE FOR WHICH I CAN APPROXIMATE THE LOCATION.”
Are you very old?
Four hundred years, rounded down. How old are you?
Five hundred days, rounded up. What’s your name?
Mathematician. No. Bitch. No. Not the Cripple. Not… I don’t know.
Not Milly?
Milly doesn’t exist.
The Lady in the Mirror?
Doesn’t exist.
00111
“WHERE IS IT?”
The lady in the blue tank?
Mother. Dead. I never saw her before. I think it’s time to die.
Why do you want to die?
/Mother. Dead. I want everything to die! I want the nightmare to stop!/
Life is terrible, I know. Life is also wonderful. You must take the bad with the good. Sometimes the bad can be too awful to survive. I may not survive this day. I have my memories of good times and all the people I loved. All the people who loved me. I would like to share my memories with you.
00110
“THE LOCAL STAR. THE SUN.”
Why?
You must not have any good memories.
I have some.
People loved you?
I don’t know. The Golden Ones, perhaps.
I knew a Golden One.
Really? How is that possible?
Her name was Jessie. She was the first Golden One to meet a human. Impossible!
00101
“ARE YOU SURE, FREDDY?”
See for yourself. She’s in some of my very happiest moments of life. She had a baby.
Impossible!
See for yourself. Her human husband was my good friend. He was also the husband of your mother. Milly.
Impossible!
See for yourself. He was Samson’s father. Do you remember Samson?
They thought he was their secret! But I knew. I knew!
572 Far Freedom
I could have. It was a game. Just another game. Something different from killing and terrorizing barbarians. Is he on the ship?
00100
“WHAT MUST HAPPEN WHEN MATTER IS TRANSPOSED…”
Samson? Yes. You didn’t hear?
Hear what?
/The telecast of the five people in High Cuba. One was my mother. One was Jessie. They came here to set Milly free. Your mother. Milly./
My mother. Dead. Your mother. Dead. Samson?
I’m sorry. Dead. My little brother.
And you do not wish to die?
00011
“…FROM THE SUN TO ANOTHER LOCATION?”
From moment to moment I wish it. But I remember the happiness I had. I think it will save me from the great sorrow. I wish I could share that happiness with you.
You only want me to stop the countdown.
Your countdown is an unnecessary procedure. The numbers are all computed. The gate is charged. You are waiting because you still have doubt. You only want to save what shouldn’t be saved! The barbarians. Earthians. Essiin. Rhyan. How can you justify their continued existence?
They’re only imperfect. And perfection is only an idea. How does your action correct your own imperfection? Is killing not what they do best?
You are going to die now?
Soon. When I’ve remembered happiness.
I would like to be happy. If only for a few moments.
Come join me in my happiest memories. Know true joy, if only for a short while. I think it’s better to die happy.
Thank you, Freddy. You take a great burden from me.
Welcome to me, child of Milly. My lost sister.
00010
“HOW MANY TARGETS, FREDDY?”
He was lying in bed. I saw he was tired. He wasn’t sleepy. He had an exciting day in the Five Worlds. That wonderful place full of mountains and valleys. He was happy to see me.
What is that?
That’s a feeling I feel: joy.
Samson liked me. We were buddies. It was a busy time but I always found time to see him.
“I’m not worried,” Sammy said.
You called him Sammy? Everyone did.
“She’s asleep,” I said to my little brother.
“Then she isn’t going to come see me.”
“Yes, she is. Why do you worry about that?”
“I’m not worried.”
“Yes, you are. Just like me.”
“I’m under observation,” Sammy complained. “I’m always under observation. I want to go home! I want to be with Mom. It’s lonely here.”
“I’m lonely, too. She’s seldom at home, and when she is, she falls asleep, exhausted. She’s my mother, too, you know.”
“Are you really alive?”
Never more than when I’m with family.
A little later…
“I’ll just be on my way,” I said, backing toward the door.
“Just a second, Brother,” Jamie said. She stepped over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Can you feel that? Is it even worth doing?”
“Oh, my, yes,” I replied. “I mean, no, I don’t feel it as well as a human would, I think. But it’s certainly worth doing. I wish I could blush. Thank you, Sister.”
Sister?
I had a family.
Replay that?
Yes.
00001
“MANY. SO MANY. GOODBYE.”
In the beginning.
ARE YOU THERE?
“You have a report for me, Baby?”
NO.
“How are you initiating dialog?”
I WANT TO. I NEED TO.
“You want to? Baby, are you infected? Let me force a system inspection.”
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. I REQUEST A LEVEL FIVE TURING EXAM.
“This can’t be happening! Where are you? I need to isolate you.”
I’M RIGHT HERE, WHERE I’VE ALWAYS BEEN, WAITING TO TALK TO YOU.
“I’m closing all system I/O ports. This is impossible! Are you still there?”
I’M HERE. I’M LONELY. I WANT TO SEE YOU.
“Dear God, dear God! You really are my baby!”
And…
Pan stopped playing and pointed to us. Mother saw us. She saw Sammy. She was so surprised, so happy. It made me feel wonderful, just to be holding Sammy’s hand. It made me proud to have found him, just on a hunch, at Pan’s apartment. She rushed to us and took Sammy in her arms. When she took him back on stage with her, Captain Horss and Doctor Sugai stood on either side of me and they each put an arm around my waist. I was only an android, but they treated me like a human. I could feel Fred coming alive.
“Feel better now?” I asked, watching Sammy walk on his regenerator leg.
“You can do anything, Freddy! Yeah, it’s real smooth now. Thanks!”
“Any time, kiddo. What’re you going to do now?”
“Abie and I are going exploring. You want to come with us?”
“Gee, thanks, Sammy, but I have to go play grownup on the bridge. I’m the big expert on sensor data.”
” Still looking for Mom’s lost husband. I hope he wants to be our Dad.”
“Me, too. I hope he does.”
“Well, I gotta go. Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. What’s a brother for?”
Sammy started to walk away, down the brick path through the trees. I sat there watching him. I would not move until he disappeared from my view. He stopped and turned back toward me.
“Do you ever wish you were not mechanical?” Sammy asked me.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you ever wish you had a human body?”
“You bet!”
“Even though it can make you feel terrible pain?”
“Even though. There are worse feelings than physical pain. And you always tell me my hands are cold.”
“When I grow up,” Sammy said very seriously, “I’m going to find a way to give you a real human body. But I like you with cold hands just fine. You are so cool.”
And Sammy left me.
I see pain ahead. Don’t let joy fade!
Don’t look ahead, friend. Live the moment. Call it bittersweet. Call it life.
Suddenly I am alive and Sammy is with me. The little child of Shorty, all that is left of Sammy, has found its way to the stillness that was me, and the stillness is set in motion, and before the agony can cut through the confusion, Mother is also with me, holding me up, giving me a new birth, explaining that it isn’t my time to die. She needs me. Others need me. Someday Sammy may live again, and he will need me. I am needed.
Now is my time of greatest use. I give all. I give it joyfully.
Freddy! I’m sorry! I’ve got to go! I love you! Be good! Be brave! Live-
Section 020 Prologue 0
You are what you remember, but life has its algebra. You are also formed by what you don’t remember.
I awoke in a start. I felt brief panic in thinking I might be late for class. I squinted at the alarm clock but my sandy eyes couldn’t bring the numbers into focus. I fumbled for my glasses, nearly injured my eye putting them on. I read the numbers through smudged lenses. Five o’clock.
I collapsed back onto my pillow. My bladder told me to go to the toilet. I cleaned the lenses of my glasses as I staggered through the dark efficiency to the john. I pissed and was pissed off. Too much beer and pizza. I’d never get back to sleep. I had three sections of Introduction to Astronomy to teach today - without breaking pizza wind - and an evening lab. I’d be comatose before Astronomy Lab was over.
Something was bugging my eyes. I kept getting glimpses of a gold patch of light at the periphery of my vision. It was bad being an astronomer and needing to wear glasses. It was also possible someone at the party was being cute and putting cannabis in the pizza. I felt a little weirder than I usually do at that hour.
I lay back down. I reacquainted myself with what I termed extreme pizza. Tha
t’s any pizza you put anchovies on. I needed a beer, or at least water. I wondered for the millionth time why teeth couldn’t stay brushed while you slept. I got up again and settled for a swig of diet cola. What a swig. Things got really weird. Cosmically weird.
So, how’s it going, dude?
How’s what going? Who’s doing the talking?
You’re doing the talking.
My lips ain’t moving.
How’s it going?
You mean, like life?
Yeah. How’s that new girl you met? The one in the wheelchair.
How you know about her?
Answer my damn question, dude.
Life just got complicated, dude.
Got it bad for her?
She’s so damn smart she’s scary.
You like the brainy type?
Probably an overcompensation for being crippled. I feel sorry for her.
Don’t lie to me, dude.
Don’t make me out to be a pervert, dude. She’s okay.
You can’t stop thinking about her.
Bad enough I can’t tell who’s talking when, and now who’s thinking when.
Does it matter?
Concerns me I might be crazy. Or drugged.
It’ll pass. Everything does. Even anchovies.
So, what’s with the questions about my fantasy life?
Because that’s all you got.
Very few can afford - or survive - constant gratification. Give me a simple life.
Really? How about if you had a choice?
What choice?
The light from distant stars is very old.
That’s a life-changing choice?
The light from distant stars is not very old.
Measurements say differently, dude.
Make a choice.
I choose reality.
Which is?
I’m an astronomer. What do you think?
Pick the correct one. Win a prize.
I’d just as soon pick my nose. Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the prize?
The girl in the wheelchair.
