by Far Freedom
“Sam, this is Millicent Dupont Lee. Today, for the first time, Millicent asked Constant how you - Samuel Lee - were doing! Isn’t that a wonderful coincidence? Milly, this is Samuel Lee. I believe you two used to know each other.”
Neither of us spoke. I was touching Milly, elbow to elbow, hip to hip. I tried to think. I tried to speak. I tried to feel. I wanted Milly to say something, then maybe I could say something. I was in a state of shock. We remained silent. Sunny could almost reach Milly with his tiny hand. I moved him closer to her. Milly shifted her arm away from him.
“I swear he was talking just a few minutes ago!” Jessie declared to Milly.
“And Sunny still wants you to hold him. I think he remembers you better than he does me.”
Milly squirmed to rise. Jessie kept an arm around her and held her down. Sunny finally touched Milly and she let him touch her. Jessie relaxed her hold on Milly. Milly took the opportunity to break away from us and flee. Jessie wept in frustration.
“I must be patient!” Jessie declared with sad frustration. “Why are we humans so impatient?”
I began to feel normal sooner than I expected. I had a lot of help because so many people had experienced the recording of my memories. They all thought they knew me and they wanted to help me. I improved a lot just by trying to meet their expectations. Constant began to visit Jessie and me constantly. Sorry. Now I could ask her questions. She was deeply involved with three people who were important to me: Pete, Samson, and Milly.
Pete was doing well. I already knew that. It was just very enjoyable to hear Constant talk about him and to know how much she loved him.
Phuti Mende, of all people, tracked down Shorty in Oz. Phuti couldn’t wait to get to Oz, even though it had to be dangerous as hell. Koji and a few Marines accompanied him, so I guess they were safe enough. Phuti gave the Gatekeeper the news of Sammy’s death. Shorty immediately gated himself to the Freedom, where he insisted that Sammy be prepared for revival. Shorty had several more fragments of Sammy’s memories. Fortunately, Aylis had already started a cloning process for Sammy’s injured brain and restoration of his body.
Constant was almost as much Sammy’s mother as Milly was. She practically lived at the hospital as Aylis and Mai and Shorty worked to accomplish a miracle. When Sammy came back to life there was a ship-wide celebration. I couldn’t say if Sammy was a whole person yet or if he would remain as stable as he seemed to be. I spent as much time with him as I could, without competing for his attention. He had so many other people who cared about him and who had prior claims for his friendship. A time would come, I hoped, when he would want to know me better. Jon said he always put in a good word to Sammy for me. I didn’t think about myself any longer. I was not the most important person in my life. And I wasn’t going to be worth much if I didn’t stop taking and start giving.
Constant kept Jessie and me informed of Milly’s progress. I knew Constant wanted Milly to find herself even more than I did. Milly had been the most important person in her life for the last seven hundred years, as she tried to keep her alive for the better future that was now upon us. I was encouraged that Constant seemed optimistic, even though she reported very small and very subjective anecdotes of improvement. She said she asked Milly almost daily if she would talk to me or Jessie. Jessie was hurt and fretful that Milly shunned us. I couldn’t explain Milly to her. When Milly accepted the offer of new toes to replace all her toes that were removed because of freezing, Constant swore it was a breakthrough in Milly’s mental recovery. The lengthening of her new toes became a countdown in Constant’s mind to another breakthrough for Milly. When Constant reported on Milly’s first barefoot test walk, she also brought me an invitation to meet Milly again - alone.
“Milly wants to talk to me?” I was hopeful, fearful, and skeptical.
” She will talk to you, whether she wants to or not!”
“Are you forcing Milly to meet me?”
“Nobody can force Milly to do anything she doesn’t want to do! But she owes me. And I got a man and a life to enjoy, without worrying all the time about her! How long did it take Jessie to get pregnant? I’m in a hurry!”
It was a pleasant evening, unnoticed by me. They were all pleasant evenings aboard the Freedom, even the rainy ones. A small stream made faint water-whispers in its journey to the lake. Moonlight spilled through the trees. Milly stood on a small footbridge above the stream. I was encouraged that she was here ahead of our arranged meeting time. I wanted to see her face but she was turned away from me. I could see her well enough to think she was aware of my presence. Milly stayed where she was. I walked toward her. Milly seemed to grow more tense as I came closer. She was shifting her feet, as if they were ready to run her away from me. I was holding my breath, afraid to say anything. I stopped, then I let my breath out and took in another. Milly did the same thing, her shoulders falling and rising. She planted her feet and gripped the bridge railing tightly.
I found my courage. How could I survive without courage, when I had two sons to raise? “You were right,” I said. “The universe doesn’t care.”
She wouldn’t turn around to face me. “Are you part of the universe?”
“I often didn’t want to be. But now I do.” She nodded her head slowly. Her hair was short and I remembered it being longer and glossy black: a genetic gift of her Mexican mother. I remembered her mother, petite but indomitable. I remembered her father, the colonel, and I almost smiled. “How are you, Milly? Really. I don’t want to upset you. Don’t answer if you can’t.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Milly turned around just in time to see me faintly smile. She was surprised by the smile. I was surprised that she was able to show surprise.
“That’s what your father told me.” It poured out of me. “Just before we got married. ‘Don’t worry about her,’ Tony said. I did worry about you. Tony wanted to know if I really loved you. I told him I loved you so much it scared me. I asked him not to tell you how crazy about you I was. I thought it would bother you, lower your opinion of me. He made me promise to take good care of you. I broke the promise. I could never have imagined what would happen to you. All because you married me.”
Milly responded by holding herself, arms wrapped across her stomach. She looked down, to hide her expression from me. I couldn’t analyze this response. I could only see the tension in her body. I shuffled two steps slowly back from her, feeling I had said too much, too soon. “Daddy talked to me before the wedding, too,” Milly said, staring at her new bare toes in her sandals. “I made him promise not to tell you how desperate I was to become your wife. I also told him I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good wife. I wasn’t.”
“Want to argue about that?”
She shook her head, still not looking at me. This was not the old Milly. “I wish I remembered Mom and Dad better. How well do you remember your parents?”
“I haven’t thought about them for a long time, but I will.”
“They were from an island?”
” Yes! I’m glad you remember.”
“They were immigrants from Korea.”
“Yes. They came from a little island in the Yellow Sea.”
“They’re so far in the past. Our parents never knew what happened to us.”
“I’m sorry.” One more pain I caused Milly. Milly fell silent. When she didn’t speak for a long time, I felt I should leave. “I’m sorry for everything.”
“Jessie? Are you sorry for her?”
On top of every other injustice to Milly, there was Jessie. I stood still for a moment while I tried to find a truthful reply. I never, hardly ever, said the right thing to Milly. “I’m not sorry I love Jessie.” I also loved Milly, but I couldn’t prove it to her, couldn’t even justify telling her. I couldn’t explain what kind of love it might be. I couldn’t guarantee I could even love Jessie the way I should. Milly was so close to me! I wanted her too much to let the moment pass! I closed my eyes. I opened my mouth. I said the words I believed were tr
ue. “I love you, Milly. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Someday, maybe…”
Milly reached for me and touched me. “Maybe today, Sam!” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I stumbled to keep my legs under me, as shock weakened them. My arms lifted her off her feet. I willed every good and true meaning of my feelings for Milly to be transmitted to her in the eloquence of my embrace.
“That’s my girl!” I recognized Constant’s emotion-choked voice. She was only a few feet away in a stand of small trees, holding Sunny. Jessie stood next to her, smiling and happy for us. Her hands rested on Sammy’s shoulders. Jessie gave us a thumbs-up and Sammy copied her. I heard other voices raised in happy exclamation and in the next moment everyone I knew became visible. They had all come to witness history.
“How did you know this was it?” Aylis asked Constant. “How did you know they were ready?”
“I told you that girl would take any dare!” Constant handed Sunny back to Jessie. “I dared her to experience Sam’s memories. If it could melt Etrhnk into Pete, it had to do something good to Milly!” She pushed Jessie and Sammy toward Milly and me. “Get over there, you two! It’s family portrait time!”
Sammy ran to the little bridge. Milly caught him as he bumped into us. We waited for Jessie to reach us. Milly held out her hand to Jessie and embraced her with one arm. We looked at each other, then we looked at the crowd of friends. Everyone was happy but perhaps I looked a bit scared.
Pete turned to his parents and said, loud enough for everyone to hear: “Sam’s in trouble now!”
Constant poked four fingers into Pete’s chest, making him stumble back against Alex. “Admiral Etrhnk should be careful trying to be humorous! Jessie and Milly will take very good care of Sam! And as for you… After seven hundred years I now learn - from reliable female sources - that the man must obey the woman! Would Emperor Petros ever mention this fact to me? No!”
All the men nodded in diplomatic - and probably sincere - agreement.
“That’s my girl!” Pete declared. Constant backed into him and wrapped his arms around her, smiling at our Family Portrait.
Epilogue
A story that can have a happy ending should have a happy ending. There is enough sorrow in life. But if a parent loses a child, can there be a happy ending?
Lee Chung-Hee shut off the lawnmower and sat down to rest for awhile. He still had the backyard to mow and he was already tired. He shouldn’t have let Tony talk him into buying a house near him and Lucia. He had lived in an apartment most of his life and this was too much work for an old man. He waited for Mama to bring him iced tea. He needed about a gallon.
It didn’t take long for Lee Chung-Hee to think about Samuel. He took a deep breath and tried to exhale the sorrow. Maybe it was better not to live so near Tony. Sharing the sorrow was one thing, but for Tony it was also a matter of anger. Lee Chung-Hee could not bear to see the anger killing Tony. He tried to focus on the memory of how happy Samuel was the last time he saw his son. At least his son had that. Not many men, he thought, would be as fortunate as was his son, if only for a brief part of his life.
Mama brought the iced tea and brought another lawn chair. She sat down and said nothing. Lee Chung-Hee assumed his wife was also thinking of their dead son and daughter-in-law, especially Milly. She had fallen in love with Milly and she shared Tony’s anger over the secrecy surrounding her death. She sighed and watched the mail truck make its stops along the street. After it departed their mailbox she got up and slowly walked across the freshly-mowed green grass to get the mail. Lee Chung-Hee drank deeply from his glass of cold tea and watched his wife open the mailbox and pause at what she found. Probably a lot of junk mail, he thought.
“Lee Chung-Hee!” It was Tony’s voice he heard coming from behind the house. He had never heard such a tone of voice from Tony. And Tony always called him just “Lee.” Was he having a heart attack? He stood up as his friend rounded the corner and rushed toward him. The DuPonts lived on the street behind them and down two houses. Tony must have cut through some yards, he was in such a hurry. He was waving a stiff bright cloth, gold in color.
“Have you got your mail yet?” Tony demanded, out of breath.
“Mama is just now getting it from the box,” Lee Chung-Hee replied, and he saw she was still at the box, looking strangely at something. He turned back to his friend. “What is the matter, Tony?”
“This had better not be a damned hoax!” Tony declared, waving the golden thing that glowed brilliantly in the Florida sun. Tony had to pause and let his breathing catch up.
Lucia DuPont then arrived, also out of breath, and in a few moments, when she caught her breath and her husband still couldn’t speak, she cried: “It is a letter from Milly!”
Lee Chung-Hee felt so bold and so curious as to snatch the golden letter from Tony’s waving hand. It was not paper his fingers touched and it was not ink that formed the letters. But the letters were definitely made by someone writing them.
“Dear Mom and Dad,” the letter said, and Lee Chung-Hee read aloud. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write you sooner. I don’t know what you may have been told happened to me and Sam. Records from that era have been erased or never existed. I imagine you will find this letter upsetting and suspicious, so we have sent it to you on special paper which will at least make you think it could be legitimate. Know that Sam and I are well and that you are grandparents. Their names are Samson (we call him Sammy) and Sunny. Please find Sam’s parents and see if they received a package from him. If Sam’s package never arrived, this will be the last you hear of me. Don’t be sad. I have lived an extraordinary life and regret only that I won’t see you again. I love you. (signed) Milly.”
Lee Chung-Hee read the letter aloud again and Tony and Lucia listened as if they wanted to hear it again. Then all of their eyes turned to see Mama, who had been walking unsteadily toward them while she also listened to Milly’s letter. She carried a small parcel and another opened letter. The paper was golden. “Mother of Samuel!” Lucia DuPont greeted her, frowning at her dazed expression. “What does your letter say?”
“It is very strange.” Mama said, appearing upset. She turned to Lee Chung-Hee. She tried to stifle her emotion but couldn’t. “It is a letter from Samuel, Papa!” She offered to trade letters with him, to know she had heard it correctly. She read it very quickly and her agitation grew. “Good! I have the box! We must go inside and sit down. It is too hot out here and we must sit down. Samuel says we must. Before we open the box.”
Lee Chung-Hee read Samuel’s letter aloud as they walked into the house.
“Dear Mama and Papa,
“If this letter reaches you then look for a small package I have also sent you. This is the last letter you will receive from me. If the package never reaches you and if Milly’s letter never reaches Tony and Lucia, I will tell you we are both happy and we have two wonderful sons named Sammy and Sunny. I can’t tell you where we are but we are with a group of people who are the finest friends anyone could ever have. The material on which these words are written should serve as a kind of proof that my words are true. Like my love for you, the letter can’t be destroyed. If and when you receive the box be very careful opening it. It isn’t dangerous but it will be quite shocking to you. It contains magic. Real magic. You must be sitting down when you open it.
“Your loving son, (signed) Samuel.”
END OF PART 3
END OF FAR FREEDOM
624 Far Freedom
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Table of Contents
Section 001 Invisible
Section 002 1980 - Meeting Sam
Section 004 Twenglish in Skivvies
Section 006 Breakfast on a Forbidden Planet
Section 007 A Reunion of Strangers
Section 008 Endarkenment at Fudlump’s Bar
Section 009 Dinner Invitation
Section 010 Denna
Section 012 The S
inger Awakes
Section 013 Dinner with Etrhnk
Section 014 Collateral Death
Section 015 The Golden Visitor
Section 016 Digging Graves
Section 017 An Algebra of Ethics
Section 018 Dreams of Funerals
Section 019 Tundra in Pink Tile
Section 020 Calling the Moon
Section 021 Losing a Father and a Daughter
Section 022 1980 - We Are All Connected
Section 023 In the Emerald City
Section 024 Prisoner Exchange
Section 025 Rescue Mission to Oz
Section 026 The Lady in the Mirror
Section 027 The Mother Earth Opera
Section 028 Feathers and Stripes
Section 029 1981 - Parental Disapproval
Section 030 1981 - A Marriage of Convenience
END OF PART 1
Section 000 Kansas 1986 - Plan B
Section 001 Simple Pleasure
Section 002 Find Me. Kill Me.
Section 003 Is This Jamie?
Section 004 Sons Remembered, Mai Retained
Section 006 What Admiral Ever Wept?
Section 008 Black Queen to White Knight
Section 009 Stealing Freedom
Section 010 He’s Dead and I Loved Him
Section 011 The Name of Her Husband
Section 012 Stopping the Stampede
Section 013 Climbing a Mountain to Phuti
Section 014 Siblings
Section 015 The Lady in the Moon
Section 016 Khalanov Meets Wingren
Section 017 Captain Jones and the Malay Pirates
Section 018 Princess Charming
Section 019 Ship in a Bottle
