by Amy Cross
Part Forty-One
I
As she focused on the task of trying to scrub the last dirt from her father's doorstep, Estella couldn't help but notice the sound of laughter in the distance.
“Just ignore them,” she whispered. “They're idiots.”
She'd been telling herself more or less the same thing all her life. At school, she'd been laughed at by the other girls because she liked to keep everything today, and because she actually cared enough to work hard and try to be top of the class, and then in the years that followed she'd been laughed at because she dressed well and refused to marry any of the grubby local boys. Then, when she'd first started seeing Baron Le Compte, she'd been laughed at because she had “ideas above her station”, and now she was being laughed at because she was on her hands and knees in the morning sun, hard at work.
“Let them laugh,” she told herself. “One day I'll...”
She paused.
One day I'll what?
Suddenly all her options seemed exhausted.
Grabbing a different brush from the box she'd found under the sink, she was determined not to give up. Her father had gone out to work several hours ago, and she'd decided that if she was going to return to this kind of manual labor, then at least she was going to do it properly. The whole house was now pristine, cleaner than she ever remembered, and the sun had only been up for a couple of hours. There was one patch of dirt on the step, however, that refused to come loose, having seeped its way into a small crack that ran through the stone. Although she was sweating terribly, she told herself she was going to get that stain off, even if it took all day.
Pausing, she realized she could hear the laughter again.
She turned and saw two girls watching her from the corner. As soon as eye contact was established, the girls turned and hurried away, but she could hear them still laughing even after they were out of sight, and she recognized at least one of them from her days in school.
“People can be so cruel.”
Turning, Estella shielded her eyes from the sun and saw that Emma Lowndes was standing next to her. Another former classmate, although not one of the crueller ones.
“A little gossip is to be expected,” Emma continued, with a faint, cryptic smile. “I mean, no-one ever expected to see you down here again. We all thought you'd been whisked up to his castle to live the rest of your life in unbridled luxury. And now...” She looked down at the step for a moment. “You missed a spot.”
“I know,” Estella replied, swallowing hard.
“So what happened?” Emma asked. “I mean, if you don't mind talking about it. I hope it's not a sensitive subject. I suppose it might be embarrassing, seeing as how you were up there one day, and now you're down here scrubbing your father's front steps. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but that's quite a fall.”
“Actually -”
“Why did you leave him?”
“I -”
“Or did he leave you?”
“Actually -”
“Wasn't the wedding set for some time soon? Did he decide he doesn't want to marry a human? Or is it the fact that you're a commoner?”
Estella bristled at the use of that word.
“Or did you find something out,” Emma continued, “like maybe you're infertile, so you can't help him carry on his family line? Or did you do something to annoy him?”
“Well -”
“Or was it the other way round? Did he do something to annoy you?” She paused. “No, it couldn't be that, could it? With a man like Edgar Le Compte, you'd just work through the little annoyances and focus on the positives, like the huge house, and the swimming pool, and the fact you'd never need to get down on your hands and knees and scrub another floor. So it must have been him who ended things, right? At least, that's what everyone in town is saying.”
Estella paused for a moment, feeling as if she was under assault from a barrage of questions. “Well,” she said finally, “as you can imagine, the situation is complicated, and a little fluid.”
“But it's over, right? Between you and him, I mean.”
Estella nodded.
“For good?”
“For good,” she replied, feeling a faint shiver in her chest.
“So what are you gonna do now?” Emma asked. “Now that you're one of us again.”
“I'm going to -”
Emma waited.
“I'm going to get on with cleaning my father's house,” Estella said finally, finding a smile from somewhere. “Since my mother died, he's struggled to keep things going. I really should have given him a little more help already, so at least while I'm here I can do my bit.”
“That's sweet.”
“He's my father. Of course I want to help him.”
“Look!” Emma said suddenly, holding her hand out to reveal an engagement ring. “I'm getting married! Isn't it the most amazing thing in the world? I'm so unbelievably happy!”
“That's -” Estella stared at the ring for a moment, as seething jealousy wriggled up through her chest and threatened to overwhelm her. For a moment, she felt as if she might grab Emma by the throat and squeeze the life out of her, but she was just about able to hold herself back. “How beautiful,” she said with a smile. “I'm so very happy for you.”
“Well, I didn't want to leave it any longer,” Emma replied. “When you get to a certain age, you kind of lose that opportunity, don't you? I'd hate to become just a spinster, living my life all alone, with nothing to do but clean and -” Pausing, she bit her bottom lip for a moment before smiling. “Well, I don't have to tell you about all of that, do I?”
“I should get back to work,” Estella said, looking back down at the dirt that still refused to budge.
“And I should get over to my fiance's place,” Emma continued, stepping past her. “We have to discuss the wedding. It's all a bit sudden, but that doesn't mean it can't be a big event, right? I want the whole of Thaxos to celebrate with us, and I think they will. Everyone loves a wedding, don't they?”
“They certainly do,” Estella muttered as she turned to watch Emma walk away. Looking back down at the patch of dirt, she began to scrub again, before realizing that the task was hopeless. She needed reinforcements.
***
“Hello?” she called out, a few minutes later, as she stepped into the dark store. “Are you open?”
“Hang on,” a voice replied from a room at the back, before Jennifer Kazakos emerged with her sleeves rolled up and her arms covered in some kind of thick black oil. “I was just working on the -” She stopped as soon as she saw Estella.
“Good morning,” Estella said politely. “I... I was hoping to purchase some cleaning supplies.”
“You?” Jennifer replied, with a hint of skepticism in her voice. “Cleaning supplies?”
Estella nodded.
Jennifer paused for a moment. “In the corner,” she said finally.
Forcing a smile, Estella made her way over to the far corner, although she was fully aware that Jennifer was watching her every move.
“I didn't think I'd ever see you in here again,” Jennifer said after a moment. “I thought your type sent servants down to fetch whatever you needed.”
“Have you not heard the gossip that's tearing through town?” Estella asked. “My engagement to Baron Le Compte has unfortunately come to an end. I'm lodging with my father for now.”
“Huh. So you're one of us again?”
“I suppose so.” She picked a bottle of bleach off the shelf, and then another, and then she took a moment to compare the two. “Needless to say, my predicament has caused more than a little mirth among a few of the locals. Jealousy can do awful things to one's character, can it not? People can be so cruel, laughing at the misfortunes of others. The temporary misfortunes, I might add.”
Jennifer watched her for a moment longer. “I guess I owe you a pretty huge debt,” she said finally. “You brought me back, didn't you?”
“Think nothing of it.”
“I was actually hoping to ask you for another favor.”
“I'm not really in a position to grant -”
“I need to find my daughter,” she continued, with a hint of desperation in her voice. “All I know is that she's been taken to an orphanage on the mainland, but I've been asking around and... Well, the truth is, most people on Thaxos don't even want to be in the same room as me. I don't know if that's because they still think I'm a murderer, or because they're scared of the fact I came back to life after they all saw me being executed, but either way, no-one wants to help me and no-one even wants to come into the store. You're my first customer since I got back down from Edgar's house. If things carry on like this, I'm going to have to sell up or shut down.”
“You're a pariah,” Estella replied. “I know the feeling.”
“I keep expecting Kate to come back, but she seems too busy up at the mansion to care.”
“I bet she is,” Estella said darkly. She'd already sensed that Kate wasn't around, although she'd tried hard not to dwell on the matter too much.
“So I was hoping you might know something. With your powers, I mean.”
“I don't see what I can do.”
“Can't you... I don't know, can't you sense where she is? Can't you use magic to locate her? Part of me wants to go rushing off and just tear across the mainland looking for her, but part of me thinks I should wait a day or two and try to get some information before I set off. If I knew where that bastard Quill was hiding out, I'd rip the truth out of his goddamn mouth...”
“I don't see that I can help,” Estella replied. “I'm afraid I have very little control over my powers, and I certainly can't direct them in a manner that would help you to find poor little Anna.”
“I can't stop thinking about what she must be going through,” Jennifer continued, with tears in her eyes. “She always said she wanted to go out and explore the world, but... She needs me, and I need her. I'm getting desperate, and I don't know what to do. If you could just -”
“I can't do anything.”
“But if you tried, maybe -”
“I can't,” Estella said firmly, putting one of the bottles of bleach back onto the shelf before carrying the other over to the counter. “Please, don't ask me again. I'm not some kind of performing puppy who can be called in to help whenever someone in town needs something.”
“But my daughter -”
“Is a lovely, sweet child,” Estella replied, “and...” She paused for a moment, thinking back to the night she'd walked Anna back down from the house. Ever since then, Anna had in some ways become the template for how she'd imagined her own children might one day look and act.
“Please,” Jennifer continued. “Can't you at least try?”
Closing her eyes, Estella tried to find some way, any way, to reach out of her own mind and establish contact with Anna. At first the task seemed impossible, but after a moment she realized she could sense something in the distance, something terrified, something calling out and begging to be allowed to return to Thaxos. The voice was far away, far beyond the island's limits, but she was able to feel the faintest thread of a child's fear, and the more she concentrated the more she was able to hone in on that fear and explore its form. Finally, slowly, in her mind's eye she was able to imagine herself on a bare metal bed in a large, dark room, and she felt filled with terror as she saw a pale arm reaching up from under the bed.
Suddenly a voice screamed in her mind.
Opening her eyes, she took a step back, horrified by what she'd felt. It was as if she'd briefly made contact with Anna, and had found the little girl in the most vile and evil place imaginable.
“Did you see something?” Jennifer asked. “Do you know where she is?”
“I...” Pausing, Estella realized that although she'd sensed a hint of Anna's presence, she had nothing that might actually help, and all she could do was worry Jennifer if she admitted what she'd seen in her mind's eye. “No,” she lied. “Nothing.”
“But if -”
“How much for the bleach?” she asked, reaching into her pocket.
“Nothing.”
“Nonsense, I must pay.”
“I owe you far more than a bottle of bleach,” Jennifer told her. “Please, just... If you manage to come up with anything about Anna at all, you'll tell me, won't you? At least keep her in mind.”
“Of course,” Estella replied. For a moment, she saw another flash of Anna curled up on the bed, sobbing as the arm reached out to her. “I'm sure,” she added, “that wherever she is, she's safe, and that she'll be returned to you soon.”
A few minutes later, back at the step outside her father's house, Estella got back to work on the patch of dirt. She felt bad for lying to Jennifer, but at the same time she knew she'd only have made the woman worry. Hearing laughter nearby, she turned and saw two older women watching her from a distance, evidently highly amused by her fall from grace.
“Keep giggling to yourselves,” she muttered, turning to focus her attention on her work as she felt a tide of bitterness washing over her soul. “Your great amusement will be short-lived.”
II
“Edgar?”
Standing in the doorway, Kate watched as Edgar stood by the fountain, apparently lost in thought as he stared out at the distant sea. It was almost as if he was thinking of something far away.
“Edgar?”
Turning to her, he seemed puzzled for a moment.
“What's on your mind?” she asked. “It took me five tries before you heard me say your name.”
“I...” He paused, before looking down at the cup of tea he'd left perched on the wall next to the fountain. Picking it up, he found that it was already cool.
Making her way over to him, Kate realized that something was definitely wrong. She'd known Edgar for quite a while now, in a back-to-front kind of way, and she'd seen many of his moods, but this one was different. This was helplessness, and concern, and maybe a hint of fear. At the same time, he'd slipped the flat-out terror of a few days earlier, when he'd seemed too scared to make a move, and now he seemed to be contemplating the situation. There was sadness, too, as if recent events had left a mark in his soul.
“You're thinking about Madeleine?”
“Among other things.”
“Does she know yet... About the baby, I mean?”
“I believe Benjamin is telling her.”
“It must be so hard,” she continued. “I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child like that.”
Edgar looked away for a moment. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
“But she'll recover, won't she?” Kate asked. “Even her eyes...”
“She'll recover physically,” he replied. “Mentally, we must wait and see.” Turning to look toward the ballroom, he sighed as he saw the devastation that had been caused the previous night when the tree had been blown through the windows. “A great deal of damage has occurred over the past forty-eight hours, but it will be rebuilt. Even if I have to put the bricks in place myself, this house will be repaired and Madeleine...” He paused. “I will find a way to rebuild her mind. I don't care what it takes, but I will not allow my sister to become some kind of miserable, insane wretch. I would rather -”
She waited for him to finish.
“Rather what, Edgar?”
“Tell me something,” he continued, turning to her. “In the future, is Madeleine... I mean, has she recovered?”
“Edgar, please...”
“I'm not asking for details, just a general idea. Is my sister sane?”
“I had very little contact with her,” Kate replied, trying to stick to the truth while also avoiding mentioning the bandaged creature that Madeleine had become by the early twenty-first century. “Beyond that, I really can't say. Thaxos in a century from now is very different to Thaxos today, in a thousand little ways and a few big ones too. One thing Nixon and I came to understand during the night is that the future can't be chang
ed. What will be, will be, and no-one – not even you, and not even me with the things I know – can do a damn thing about it.”
“I see,” he said darkly. “From the look in your eyes, Kate, I can tell that not everything is as it should be in the future.”
“Edgar -”
“I could take what I want, you know.”
“You could?”
“I could reach into your mind and walk the corridors of your thoughts, and see everything.”
“Even if I tell you not to?”
He paused. “I could do it,” he said finally. “With anyone else, I would do it. But with you... I will respect your decision and keep out of your mind, though you should know that the temptation is strong. Even now.” Reaching out, he put a hand on the side of her face. “To know that so much knowledge is just a moment away, that I could enter you and take everything I need...” He paused, before taking his hand away again. “You have my word. I will resist that temptation.”
“I should go back inside,” she replied, “and then I should go to town and see how -”
“Dine with us tonight.”
“Edgar -”
“Please, Kate. I... I do not want you to leave, not yet. Your company is... a positive influence on this house. On me.”
“It is?”
“You can even move in,” he continued. “We have many spare rooms -”
“Let's not get ahead of ourselves.”
“But you're tempted. I can tell.”
“Are you reading my mind?”
“No. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I'll stay for dinner tonight,” she told him. “After that, we'll see.”
“I suppose I can ask for nothing more.”
“I need to find Nixon,” she continued. “Somehow, I feel he knows more than he realizes, and I think maybe he can help me to make sense of this whole mess. If I can find out why I was brought back in time, maybe I can figure out a way to get back to where I came from.”
“You want to go back?” he asked, as if the idea was shocking.
