“If not?” he asked.
Despite her smile, there was a glimmer of sadness in her tawny gaze. “Then I will be grateful for what we had, and sorry for what we didn’t. Good bye, Hugh. I hope I see you soon.”
Temperance’s chest felt unbearably tight the entire ride back to Dunhill. She sat in terse silence, her gaze focused intently on the road as she tried to add up the number of lies that had just spilled from her lips.
Unfortunately, there were too many to count.
I can stick to the conditions if you can.
Lie.
If you are worried I will fall head over heels in love, you needn’t be.
Lie.
I know well enough what this is and what this is not.
Lie.
I want a lover, Hugh, not a husband.
At least that one was only half of a lie. She truly did not want a husband…unless that husband happened to be Hugh. She could see it now: a cozy little cottage with rain softly falling outside and both of them tangled up in each other’s arms in the bed. They would no doubt be quarreling about something, because that was what they did best. Well, she amended silently, that is what we do second best. He would be toying with her hair. Just an absent touch every now and then to let her know he cared. And she would be running her fingers along his muscular chest in light, teasing strokes. When their argument reached its peak he would do that low growl in his throat that instantly hardened her nipples before he grabbed her wrists, twisted her beneath him, and–
“Lynette is back!” Delilah cried excitedly as Temperance brought their curricle to a halt in front of the stables.
“How do you know?” Temperance asked.
“Because I can see her through the front window. Look!”
Following the direction of Delilah’s finger, Temperance saw that Lynette had, indeed, finally returned to Dunhill. Her svelte silhouette was just visible through the thin lacy curtains. She was standing in the middle of the parlor speaking to someone, moving her arms in a rather agitated manner.
Two grooms rushed out of the stables, taking over both the carriage and the horse as the two sisters climbed down. His ears pricked and nostrils flared, Mr. Humphrey ran ahead back to the house, barking and howling all the way. With a squeal of delight Delilah followed close on his heels and Temperance, after checking her appearance in the mirror like finish of the curricle to make sure there was no visible evidence of her wanton kiss, hurried after both of them.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“There you both are!” Blinking back tears, Lynette opened her arms as Delilah and Temperance rushed into the parlor. “Oh, how I have missed you.”
Sniffling, the three sisters embraced for a long moment. Lynette’s departure marked the longest time they’d ever been separated, and they had all sorely missed one another. Eventually they stepped back and in a rush of voices all began talking at once.
“I am so sorry for leaving without a word–”
“Did you see how big Mr. Humphrey has grown–”
“Is everything all right? What happened with Nathaniel–”
With a laugh, Lynette dashed at her wet cheeks and held up both hands. “One at a time would be best, I believe. Come, have a seat. We have much to discuss. Starting,” she said with a stern glance at Temperance, “with where you have been for the past hour.”
Temperance’s shoulders automatically stiffened as she sat down in a chair and crossed her legs at the ankle. “You’re the one who has been gone for a week! Why am I in trouble?”
“Because you know better than to take the curricle out by yourself,” Lynette reprimanded gently. “Lady Townsend was very worried about you, as was I. What if something had happened? There would have been no one to offer assistance.”
Unbelievable. Lynette had not been back for five minutes, and she was already lecturing! Some things, Temperance supposed, never changed. Not that she begrudged her sister her concern. It felt good to be worried over, even if it meant she’d been caught in the act of doing something she shouldn’t have been.
If only Lynette knew the half of it, she thought silently.
“It’s all right, Nettie.” Delilah smiled. “Mr. Jacobson was there.”
“Who?” Lynette asked as her gaze swerved from Temperance to Delilah. “That name sounds familiar.”
“He was the American we met in London that day at the park,” Delilah provided helpfully while Temperance sat frozen in her chair, unable to move or speak. “You know, the one who called Temperance a–”
“I remember now,” Lynette said hastily. “No need to curse, Delilah.”
Delilah’s smile faded and was replaced with a thoughtful frown. “Is it still cursing if I am just repeating what someone else said?”
“Yes, it certainly is.”
“Oh. Well.” Her shoulders lifted and fell in an absent shrug. “Something to keep in mind, I suppose.”
“What is Mr. Jacobson doing in Farmingdale?” Lynette asked. “And why would he be with you?”
“He wasn’t with us,” Temperance managed to croak. Fighting to remain calm, she cleared her throat. “I mean technically he was, but only for a little while. We happened to cross paths on our way home. He was walking, and Delilah wanted to stop and say hello.”
“I did?” said Delilah, looking rather perplexed. “I don’t really remember–”
“You wanted to introduce him to Mr. Humphrey.”
“That’s right. Now I recall. He said Mr. Humphrey was a fine looking dog.” She beamed as though the compliment had been paid directly to her. “You know, I quite like Mr. Jacobson. We should have him over for tea one day.”
“Or not,” Temperance interjected quickly. Too quickly she realized with dismay when Lynette’s eyes narrowed. Fortunately, her sister did not decide to pursue the conversation any further.
“Now that I have returned,” she said instead, “there is something of great importance I would like to discuss with both of you.”
“Oh no,” Temperance cried as all of the guilt she had felt for suggesting Lynette leave in the first place came surging back. “You are Nathaniel are not going to separate, are you? Because I never should have said what I did. It was a horrible suggestion, and I really think–”
“We are not going to separate,” Lynette interjected firmly. “And as it turns out, your suggestion was actually a very good one. After Nathaniel and I reconciled our differences, we found we had much more in common than we ever imagined. We are very happily in love.”
Temperance blinked. “You are?”
“We are,” Lynette confirmed with a brilliant smile. “I realize now that our…disagreements, let us call them…must have put a terrible strain on you both, and I apologize for that. But you need not fear we are going to separate or divorce or anything of that nature. Quite the opposite, actually.” She took a deep breath. “How would you feel about returning to London? I know we had previously discussed skipping this Season, but with everything that has happened I think it might be just the thing to put us back on track. The first ball of note will be in January, which will give us plenty of time to prepare wardrobes for both of you.”
“New dresses?” Delilah breathed.
“New dresses,” Lynette confirmed with a grin. A grin that faded slightly when she noted Temperance’s expression. “What are you thinking, dear? Would you like to go back to London?”
And leave Hugh?
No, Temperance wanted to shout. Absolutely not!
But of course she couldn’t say that. Not when Lynette and Delilah were looking at her with so much expectation.
Choosing her words carefully she said, “I suppose that would work. After all, we will have plenty of time between now and then to enjoy the country. January is, after all, three months away and–”
“Nathaniel would like to begin moving all of our belongings at the end of next week.” Lynette’s smile was hesitant. “He just purchased a new house in Grosvenor Square. I haven’t seen it yet, but
he said it is enormous. Large enough for all of us, including his parents and Annabel.”
A deep groove of concern settled between Delilah’s eyebrows. “And Mr. Humphrey?”
“And Mr. Humphrey,” Lynette assured her. “We couldn’t leave him behind, could we? He is family now.”
“Well I for one think you are making a hasty decision!” As her emotions threatened to spiral out of control, Temperance leaped to her feet. “And I do not support it!” Whirling around, she ran out of the parlor as fast as her legs would carry her.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The sound of a fist softly rapping on wood roused Temperance out of her light slumber. With a sigh, she rolled out of bed and padded barefoot across the floor. Moonlight chased her shadow, casting silvery beams of light across the walls. The small fireplace at the far side of her bedroom was dormant, and there was a definite chill in the air now that the sun had set. Pausing to slip a shawl over her shoulders, she opened the door. Lynette stood on the other side of it, and Temperance beckoned her in. She had known her sister would want to talk to her eventually, especially since she had skipped dinner. Lynette was not one for conflict, particularly when it involved one of her siblings.
“I brought you something to eat,” she said, holding out a plate.
Glancing down at the food, Temperance took the plate and set it aside on a table before sitting on the edge of the bed and drawing a pillow into her lap. She was not hungry. Her appetite had vanished the moment she learned of Lynette and Nathaniel’s plans to leave Dunhill and return to London.
She knew it was the natural order of things. A summer spent in the country, a winter spent in the city. With the exception of those too poor to afford a London Season, it was what everyone did. She should have been expecting it. And she would have, if her thoughts had not been consumed by a certain blue-eyed, dark-haired American with a surly temper and the most intoxicating lips she had ever tasted.
Two weeks…
The deadline loomed over her head like a dark cloud. She had only just found Hugh, and now she was expected to give him up? No. She wouldn’t do it. At least not without a fight. The only problem was she could not say why she was fighting. Not unless she wanted Lynette to drag her off to London tomorrow, for surely that was precisely what her sister would do if she learned of Temperance’s illicit affair.
Of course, there was the chance that all of her concerns could be for naught. If Hugh did not meet her at the bend in the road, then there would be nothing to keep her at Dunhill and their affair would be over before it ever truly had a chance to begin. But if he had believed her lies and he was there and he did want to be with her…
As she imagined rounding the corner of the road and seeing him standing a pool of moonlight hope unfurled in her chest, battling back the darkness. She needed this. She needed him, and she knew that once she left Farmingdale she would lose him forever.
Hugh wasn’t like Nathaniel. He wouldn’t come racing after her on a white noble steed. Their relationship – what there was of it – had been built on practicality, not romance.
She doubted if he would even miss her.
“I know you are upset.” Pulling a chair away from Temperance’s writing desk, Lynette positioned it beside the bed so they were facing one another and sat down. “What I do not know is why.” Brown eyes earnest, she reached forward and grasped her sister’s hands. “Has something happened while I was away? Something you need to tell me?”
Yes.
“No,” she said shortly, pulling her hands away. “I simply do not understand why we have to leave Dunhill so early. Why not wait until after Christmas, as we’ve always done?” At least by then the affair with Hugh should have run its course or, on the odd chance it had developed into something more, then maybe he would be willing to follow her to London. A shiver of anticipation raced between her shoulder blades at the possibility, farfetched as it was.
“Nathaniel thought a change of scenery would be good for all of us. I know it must seem sudden–”
“Because it is sudden,” Temperance bit out.
“–but I know once you see the house and grounds you will be happy. It will also give us time to put a proper wardrobe together for you and Delilah.” A frown hovering in the corners of her mouth, Lynette searched her sister’s countenance. “You must be worried about what people will say, and I don’t blame you. But with the full support of the Townsend name I do not anticipate it being like it was before.”
Temperance lifted a brow. “You mean women won’t suddenly gasp and hide behind their fans when we enter the room?”
“It wasn’t all that bad,” Lynette protested. “Oh, all right, perhaps it was,” she admitted when Temperance merely blinked. “But that is all behind us now! Think of how exciting it will be to begin a new season! The invitations and the dresses and the balls. You will have men tripping over themselves to dance with you. I just know it.”
“And what if I don’t want men tripping over me?” Her fingers tightened around the pillow she still held in her lap. “I already endured one season, and that was quite enough thank you very much.”
“But it will be entirely different this time! Unless,” Lynette murmured as understanding slowly dawned across her countenance, “the reason you don’t want another season is because you have already found someone. Temperance! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” Temperance asked warily.
“That you have fallen in love!”
Her eyes widened. “I can assure you I have not fallen in love.”
But it was too late. Lynette had already jumped to her feet in celebration, hands clasped between her breasts as a mile wide grin split her face. “I should have realized it the moment you stormed from the parlor! You must tell me everything. Who is he? When did you meet? Where does he live? Has he been introduced to Nathaniel’s parents? Do I know him? Does Nathaniel know him? When can I–”
“Stop,” Temperance demanded, cutting Lynette off mid-sentence. “You are only wasting your breath. There is no one to tell you about, because I have not fallen in love with anyone.”
At last she could say something honest. But no sooner had the words left her lips than Temperance felt a tiny wave of guilt. The same wave of guilt she felt whenever she told a lie.
“Temperance, what is it? What’s wrong?” Lynette asked, her voice marked with alarm as all of the color suddenly drained from Temperance’s cheeks and the pillow she’d been holding fell to the floor.
I have not fallen in love with anyone.
Lie.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The next day went by in a blur. If someone asked her what she had done or who she had talked to, Temperance wouldn’t have been able to give them an honest answer. She vaguely recalled having breakfast with her sisters and then attending another one of Annabel’s practice recitals while Lady Townsend looked on, her eyes filled with loving exasperation. After that she had gone on a walk with Delilah and Mr. Humphrey, followed by tea in the parlor with Lynette who had tactfully refrained from bringing up last night’s conversation which was for the best as it had not ended well.
Temperance still cringed when she recalled how she had ordered Lynette from her room and then slammed the door behind her without a single word of explanation. Since then her sister had been acting as though nothing untowardly had happened, but there was no mistaking the faint line of concern that grew between her brows whenever she happened to glance at Temperance. Neither one of them had broached the subject of leaving Dunhill, and Temperance was happy to keep it that way…at least until she found out if Hugh was going to be waiting for her at the bend in the road.
She managed to keep herself composed all the way through dinner and even Annabel did not guess anything was amiss as she smiled and nodded and made sure to say all of the right things. When dessert had been cleared from the table – a delicious pound cake drizzled with fresh red raspberry syrup – she followed the rest of the women into the draw
ing room where they gossiped and chatted in front of the fire before Lady Townsend excused herself.
“Do not get up on my account,” she protested when Lynette rose as well, followed closely by Delilah. “I am an old woman who needs her rest. You young ladies should enjoy yourselves.”
“I’m rather tired as well,” Lynette said, although the rosy blush in her cheeks indicated otherwise. It was no secret that since she and Nathaniel had returned they’d had great difficulty keeping their hands off of one another. Why, just this morning Annabel had told Temperance that she’d caught them kissing. In a broom closet, of all places!
It was the first time Temperance had ever witnessed genuine affection between a man and a woman. While Lord and Lady Townsend loved one another, they rarely showed it beyond an absent smile or an occasional brush of their arms. And heaven only knew her own parents had acted more like strangers than a husband and wife. She knew they had loved each other once because Lynette had told her, and there was no denying their dedication to their children, but they were always missing that magical and illusive spark. A spark Temperance had grown up believing simply did not exist…until she found it with Hugh.
She did not know if she loved him. Having never felt love before, it was not something she could easily identify. Was it thinking about a person more than you thought about yourself? Was it losing yourself in them so completely you forgot your own name? Was it wanting to know everything about them, all at once, but being too afraid to ask the first question for fear it would scare them away? If so, then maybe she had fallen in love. Quickly and impulsively, just as she did everything else. But she was not about to let a little love ruin everything. Not when it was almost certainly unrequited.
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