“Someone has to tell her the truth,” Jeremy argued. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and turned to Dr. Jiménez, hoping she’d get past any negative feelings toward him to listen to his pleas. “I’m worried about her. Her sisters are worried about her. I’m no medical professional, but I can’t imagine that not eating and losing so much weight is healthy for her. Or the baby.”
“Jeremy, please!” Rosa pushed herself to a seated position on the bed. The quick motion must have set off her nausea again because she immediately bent over and started dry heaving into the throw-up tray.
Remorse swamped over him and he quickly moved closer, reaching to comb her dark hair away from her face. He held her hair out of the way with one hand and gently rubbed her back with his other.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, the words gruff with guilt.
The doctor flanked Rosa’s other side, holding on to her shoulder. “It’s okay, nena. Try not to tense up. Just go with it until it passes.”
After several anxious moments, the dry heaving stopped. Rosa flopped back against the table, her face glistening with sweat.
Jeremy grabbed a few paper towels from the sink area, ran some water over them, then hurried back to gently wipe Rosa’s forehead.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. Her eyes fluttered open to look at him, the beautiful brown orbs filled with despair.
“Hey, now, none of that. There’s nothing you need to apologize for,” he assured her, keeping his voice soft as he tried to soothe her.
Rosa’s eyes drifted closed again, her entire body going slack as if someone had flipped the circuit breaker cutting off all her energy.
Jeremy shot Dr. Jiménez a pained look. He didn’t say anything, but he sure as hell hoped she could read his expression if not his mind. Please, do something here!
Dr. Jiménez gave a brisk nod, then moved to sit on the rolling stool in front of the computer.
Worry kept Jeremy by Rosa’s side. He finger-combed her hair off her forehead, then pressed the damp paper towel to her clammy skin. The urge to pick her up and cradle her in his arms until she felt better built inside him, barely kept in check.
This intense need to take care of her, to do whatever was needed to help her through this had him antsy and on edge in a way he wasn’t used to.
In his everyday life, he dealt with rational entities. Computers, software, hardware, numbers.
With his family, their love for each other went mostly unspoken. Except for his mom, emotions weren’t often shared like they were so openly in Rosa’s family.
Never before had he felt this compulsion to do and be better with any of the women he’d dated in the past.
This was different. Rosa was different.
But how to convince her of that was a problem he’d yet to solve.
His mind grappling with the intricacies of their situation, Jeremy watched the doctor’s fingers flying over her keyboard. The screen changed and she read more, her lips moving.
Rosa’s breathing had slowed, and he wondered if she might have dozed off. At least her pinched expression had finally relaxed.
He sank into his chair beside Rosa, quietly watching the doctor. Waiting for her to share her game plan. Because he was counting on the good doctor to have a good one.
Finally, Dr. Jiménez slid the rolling stool across the black and grey speckled linoleum floor toward them. Her face serious, she reached for Rosa’s hand, gently rubbing up and down her arm to wake her. “Rosa, perdóname, pero necesitas despertarte.”
“I’m awake,” Rosa said, her voice groggy.
She stretched lazily, and another image slid through Jeremy’s mind: Rosa in the hotel bed, arms raised over her head in a languid stretch. The white hotel sheet slipping lower to reveal the curve of her bare breasts. A dark curtain of her wavy hair falling across her cheek.
Desire curled through him like a wispy, sensuous smoke.
“I didn’t mean to nod off,” she said over a yawn.
“Your body needs all the rest it can get,” Dr. Jiménez answered. “I am fairly certain what’s going on here. To be safe, I’m going to order some lab work to rule out anything else. On one hand, morning sickness is actually a sign that your pregnancy is progressing well. But Jeremy’s right, this amount of nausea and vomiting, this weight loss, it’s not good.”
Jeremy’s heart stuttered. Damn, if the doctor was concerned, it had to mean it could be something bad.
Rosa’s face scrunched in the same pained expression from earlier. The little speck of white as her top teeth worried her bottom lip told him her head whirled with questions and information from the pregnancy books and websites he’d bet anything she’d spent the past week scouring.
“I’ll put in a rush order with the lab,” Dr. Jiménez continued. “And while we wait, we’ll get some IV fluids in your body. You’re dehydrated, and that makes things worse. I’m assuming you can stick around for a while?”
The doctor aimed the question at Jeremy.
“Uh, yes, definitely. I’m here for the duration.” He hesitated, realizing he may have overstepped with Rosa. “If that’s okay with you?”
She gave him a wobbly smile, her tired eyes filled with gratitude. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Warm relief loosened the anxiety knotting his insides, and Jeremy reached out to clasp Rosa’s hand. She wanted him to stay. That was good.
She kept insisting that she could do this alone if need be, but damn it, she wasn’t alone. They were a team now. An “us.”
Sure, there were details to be figured out, but all that mattered now was getting these test results and following the doctor’s orders. Doing whatever would keep their baby and Rosa safe.
* * *
Rosa watched Jeremy uncross and re-cross his legs, changing positions for the umpteenth time in the uncomfortable plastic clinic chair.
She glanced at her watch again. Only five minutes since she’d last checked. A mere twelve minutes since the previous time. Marking a little over two hours since her various samples had been sent to the lab.
She twisted uncomfortably on the exam table, flipping from her back to lie on her right side, the sanitary paper crinkling underneath her.
Jeremy looked up from whatever he was reading on his cell phone. Concern sharpened his features, darkened his blue eyes. “You doing all right?”
She bit her lip, then nodded.
In reality, it was a toss-up.
Physically she felt better than she had in weeks, thanks to the IV fluids they’d pumped into her.
Mentally, thoughts and fears and worries bounced around her head like popcorn kernels in a pot on high heat.
Emotionally, waterworks were just below the surface. One wrong move, one wrong word, and her tears would blow like Old Faithful.
Jeremy leaned toward the table, propping his arm against the edge. His fingers brushed back and forth along the hem of the hospital gown on her upper thigh sending a flutter of awareness rippling through her.
Her pulse raced. Her skin tingled with the memory of his hands caressing her, coaxing a response from her that she’d never experienced before.
“You need something?” he asked, his voice gentle.
Ha! She needed something all right. The problem was, she couldn’t figure out exactly what that something should be.
Part of her wanted him to climb onto the exam table and snuggle with her, forget the outside world and all the problems that awaited them.
Only it wasn’t that simple and throwing caution to the wind hadn’t exactly ended well for her last time.
The doubts and uncertainty were driving her crazy. Upending her need for organization and structure.
Having a baby meant life-altering, potentially career-altering decisions for her. Those changes scared her more than childhood tales of El Cuco coming to get her in the dark of night.
There were few things she’d wanted more in her life than to say yes to his proposal. But she couldn’t.
Another million-dollar question. The man was on a roll.
Jeremy stared at her intently. His expression honest, earnest, tinged with doubt.
That doubt fed her fears, kept her from divulging her deep dark thoughts.
“I just want to stop feeling this way,” she muttered.
A weighted moment passed before Jeremy gently asked, “What way?”
Conflicted. Disappointed. Uncertain. Scared.
Coward that she was, she went with the safest answer. “I’m ready to be done with this all-day morning sickness. I can’t see how it’s a ‘good sign’ that the pregnancy is going well.”
She wrinkled her nose at the inanity of the doctor’s earlier statement.
Jeremy speared a hand through his dark blond hair and scratched his head. “Yeah, sounds like an oxymoron to me. But I’m willing to do whatever your doctor recommends. Whatever you ne—”
The exam room door opened and Dr. Jiménez walked in. There was no mistaking her serious expression.
Rosa’s stomach clenched, the muscles spasming in protest. Instinctively she pressed a hand to her belly.
Dios, proteje a mi bebé, she prayed over and over. God, please protect her baby.
An iPad in her hands, Dr. Jiménez pulled the rolling stool closer to the exam table with her foot, then sat down. She tapped on the screen, her eyes scanning whatever she’d brought up, nodding as she went.
Rosa waited, her heart in her throat. Worried she already knew what Dr. Jiménez was going to say.
Jeremy grabbed her hand. Despite her warring emotions where he was concerned, she was relieved to have him at her side.
“The good news is, I was right, so we know what we’re dealing with.” Dr. Jiménez’s sober expression belied her positive words. “Based on your symptoms and lab results, you’re suffering from what’s known as ‘hyperemesis gra—’”
“Gravidarum,” Rosa finished, her spirits sinking as low as her potassium levels no doubt were.
Jeremy gave a confused shake of his head. “What does that mean?”
Dr. Jiménez waited a beat. When Rosa didn’t elaborate, the doctor explained, “Hyperemisis gravidarum is a condition characterized by severe nausea and vomiting, weight loss and electrolyte disturbance. It’s obvious Rosa’s been suffering from the first three. The lab results confirmed the latter.”
Those Old Faithful tears threatening, Rosa swallowed trying to relieve the knot in her throat. She hoped her fear wasn’t noticeable as she added, “My mamá had hyperemesis gravidarum with all three of her pregnancies, but with Yazmine it was the worst.”
She shuddered, recalling the horror stories she’d heard over the years when the older women started swapping pregnancy and childbirth cuentos with each other. With Jeremy already in overprotective mode, she did not plan to share those stories with him. “Mami struggled with similar symptoms through the first half or more of her pregnancy. But she was eventually fine.”
“Do not trivialize this, Rosa,” Dr. Jiménez said, her tone grave. “Marta had to be hospitalized when she was pregnant with Yazmine. Twice.”
Jeremy squeezed Rosa’s hand, his wide-eyed gaze flying to hers. “Hospitalized?”
“I’m not anywhere near that condition. I’m good. I am!” she asserted at Jeremy’s snort of disagreement.
“Nena, everything I have here says differently.” Dr. Jiménez tapped her iPad screen. “My job is to make sure you and your little one are healthy.”
“Mine too,” Jeremy chimed in.
Dr. Jiménez gave him a brisk nod of approval. “My first inclination is to order complete bed rest—”
“What? No way!” Rosa shot up to a seated position on the exam table. Her stomach immediately objected. Her head spun from the sudden movement, and she swayed to the side.
Jeremy’s strong arm wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her from falling off the table.
“You were saying?” Dr. Jiménez asked in a bland tone.
Rosa pressed a hand to her temple, waiting for her head to stop spinning. “I need to talk with Principal Meyer first. Even then, I’m sure I can’t be off work for an extended period of time. It’s only my first semester at Queen of Peace.”
“I can provide for you and our baby,” Jeremy said. He tightened his hold around her shoulders. “You don’t have to worry about how you’ll support yourself anymore.”
Rather than finding comfort in his words, she felt overwhelmed. More claustrophobic than protected.
His offer, his proposal, the insistence behind them. It was almost like he had to take care of her. Had to have the answers to solve this unsolvable situation. But he didn’t.
Suddenly, the exam room walls and all her problems closed in on her. Suffocating her with the fear of inevitable, uncontrollable change. Just like after Mami had died.
Frantic, she shook Jeremy’s arm off her shoulders. “Look, I, I appreciate you saying that, but . . . but I need . . . ay, Dr. Jiménez, necesito . . .”
She held her hands out in supplication, though she had no clear idea exactly what she pleaded for. Tears of exasperation welled to the surface, burning her eyes.
“I need things to slow down. So I can catch up,” Rosa whispered, the words ragged and rough in her throat.
Yesterday she’d told her sisters she’d be fine if she had to leave Queen of Peace. Today, confronted with the reality of it happening sooner than she anticipated, she wasn’t so sure.
Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. “My students rely on me. I’m just starting to make a difference with some.”
She swiped at the tears, but they kept flowing, coming from a place deep inside her that had been aching for so long.
All of this was because of one rash decision on her part. Confirmation that she had no business trying to be someone she wasn’t. It was the same lesson life had tried to teach her back in high school the day of Mami’s car accident.
Only, this time, the consequences were different. This time she hadn’t lost a loved one.
Instead, she’d become a living, breathing example for the importance of abstinence often spouted in sex education lectures in Catholic schools everywhere.
How could this be happening?
Overwhelmed by the ramifications facing her, Rosa dropped her chin to her chest.
“Hey, look at me.” Jeremy ducked his head, leaning closer to try and catch her gaze. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this.”
Rosa covered her face with her hands, unable to take the confidence shining in his blue eyes. Confidence, but not love.
She couldn’t go through with a loveless marriage built solely on a foundation of responsibility. Talk about soul-crushing.
“What about half days?” Jeremy’s question halted her Tasmanian devil mental tailspin.
“Or working part of the week?” he added.
When Dr. Jiménez didn’t say anything, Rosa peeked through her fingers, anxious to see her doctor’s reaction.
The older woman’s pensive expression implied she might be weighing the idea.
Por favor, Rosa prayed. Repeating the words over and over in her head.
“Both of you need to understand the severity of the situation.” Dr. Jiménez looked pointedly from Rosa to Jeremy and back again.
“We do. I mean, she does, right?” Jeremy nodded at Rosa who returned the gesture.
“There are, what, three weeks before school is out for winter break?” Dr. Jiménez asked her.
“Yes.”
“I might consider something like Jeremy’s idea,” the doctor said slowly.
Hope eased the tightness constricting Rosa’s chest. There had to be a solution that wouldn’t require her to give up her job right away, at least not until the school council decided otherwise.
And she planned to fight for that
not to happen.
“We can request moving you to half days for medical reasons until school begins in January.” Dr. Jiménez tapped her iPad screen as she spoke. A calendar popped up on the display. “That’ll be three weeks to end the semester and two weeks of winter break. Before school begins again we’ll re-evaluate.”
“Yes!” Rosa fisted her hands in triumph.
“But when you’re not at work, I’ll want you on bed rest.” Dr. Jiménez motioned to Rosa. “That means having someone there with you so you’re going up and down the stairs at home as little as possible.”
“Está bien,” Rosa agreed. “Lilí will be home for winter break in a couple of weeks. She can—”
“I’m not talking about in a couple weeks,” Dr. Jiménez cut in sternly. “I’m talking about right now. Ahora mismo. You need help starting the moment you leave this office.”
“No worries,” Jeremy said. “I’ll be at home with her.”
“Excuse me?” Rosa drew back in surprise. “Um, that’s not necessary.”
“Yes, it is,” he pressed. “I’m in between projects right now so things are slow. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to work remotely most days. Or if need be, I’ll take paid time off.”
Dios mío, he seemed to think he had everything worked out. Like it was that simple.
But it wasn’t. Not for her.
That earlier sense of suffocation squeezed her chest again.
“There’s no need for you to go to all that trouble. I don’t want you jeopardizing things at work,” she said, groping for an excuse that might have him backing off.
Their relationship was too precarious. No way could she allow herself to rely on him. What if the Japan project got the green light again and he headed overseas for six months? What if Cecile or someone else in his social circle, a woman more suitable to his family’s lifestyle, drew his attention. She’d die before being a noose around Jeremy’s neck because he felt obligated.
“Look, I have the weekend to figure this out. Lilí is home until Sunday afternoon. I’ll talk to Principal Meyer on Monday, and Yazmine will be around to help.”
“Rosa, why can’t I just—”
Her Perfect Affair Page 9
