The kiss deepened, tongues wrestling, brushing, tasting. She was honey and nectar and everything sweet, and he craved more.
Angling onto one elbow, he caressed her hip with his other hand.
Her fingers gently brushed along his neck, traced the shell of his ears with feathery light touches that drove him to the edge. He continued his own delicious exploration, snaking his hand under her sweater, up her trim waist, past her rib cage until he captured one of her breasts in his palm. Her nipple pebbled through her lace bra, and she broke their kiss on a gasp.
She gazed up at him, eyes lust-filled, lips red and swollen from his kisses, chest heaving with each rush of breath.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “I can’t tell you how badly I want you.”
Her eyes fluttered closed, an adorable blush stealing up her cheeks.
“You’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself. But I believe this . . .” She arched her pelvis, pressing his arousal oh-so-close to the entrance it desperately sought. “. . . gives away your little secret.”
Lust coursed through him, and he nearly groaned on the wave of desire that pulled him under.
Her cheeky response and her innocent blush combined to create the unique charm that made her irresistible.
He rocked his erection into her, quickly ducking down to cover her answering moan with an open-mouthed kiss. She devoured him in response. Matching his fevered kiss with her own. Stroke for stroke.
His fingers brushed the soft skin along the top edge of her lace bra, his thumb coming across the front clasp. In seconds, he had it undone. One bare breast spilled out, and he filled his palm with the precious weight, rolling the hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
She moaned deep in her throat and her hands moved to his back, kneading his muscles, before sliding lower to grab his ass. His arousal pulsed between them. Need quickly built, and he knew if they didn’t stop soon, he was in danger of exploding.
As much as he wanted to take what she seemed to be offering, a small, still sane part of his brain knew this—no matter how damn good it would be—wasn’t the answer to their problems. No matter how badly he wished it could be.
Reluctantly, he tore his lips from hers, twisting to fall onto his back beside her.
Shoulder to shoulder, neither one said a word, their heavy breathing the only sound in the room.
After several minutes had passed, Jeremy broke the silence. “I have to say, that was not the greeting I expected on my race to get here.”
“Me either.”
He chuckled at her surprised tone.
Their hands touched in between them, and Jeremy clasped hers, pleased when she linked her fingers with his. He raised their joined hands, bringing them to his lips for a chaste kiss.
“I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you this afternoon,” he said.
“I know.”
“I mean it. I hate that I let you down.”
“I know,” she repeated.
Jeremy propped up on his elbow to look at her. “How do you—”
“Because I know you, Jeremy.” She combed the fingers of her other hand through his hair, a gentle yet sad smile curving her lips. “You feel compelled to help others. That’s part of what I lo—like about you.”
Her smile dimmed. Determination jutted her jaw at the same time sadness filled her eyes.
“I’m happy that what kept you from coming here today is something that could bring you closer to your dad. That’s important.”
“Yes, it is, but so is this.” He squeezed her hand for emphasis. “Us.”
“I agree. I also know that we both have personal problems we need to figure out. You might be leaving again, for an extended time. And that’s okay,” she rushed on when he started to speak. “Like I said this morning, no rash decisions you might regret.”
“What makes you think I’ll regret anything?” he asked, stymied by her continued use of the word.
Rosa stared up at him intently, as if she was weighing what to say.
“What is it?” he urged.
With a little shake of her head, she rolled away from him and sat up. Her back to him, she reached under her sweater to clasp her bra, then stood and moved a few feet away to her dresser.
Jeremy slid across the bed. He swung his legs over the edge to sit facing her.
“Father Yosef and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon,” Rosa said.
Interesting was better than troublesome, which was what Jeremy had expected.
“After talking about the options the school board will consider, termination or wait and evaluate my year-end review, he asked about me.” Her gaze met Jeremy’s in the mirror’s reflection. “About us.”
“And I wasn’t there.” Guilt burned in his chest.
Rosa ducked her head. “Maybe it was for the best.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. Him not being with her was not “for the best.” Not in his mind anyway.
“I mean, Father Yosef’s not advocating having children out of wedlock,” Rosa continued. “But we talked about the sanctity of marriage. Of two people willingly making a loving commitment to each other. Like my parents did.”
Turning around, she motioned to the picture of Rey and Marta on her nightstand.
Jeremy gazed at the candid shot, taken while the couple was dancing. Cheek to cheek, smiles brimming with joy, they exuded happiness.
Man, how he wished he’d had a chance to know Rosa’s mom. Her dad had been an amazing person—full of life, his love for his family evident in his words and actions. Jeremy bet the same could be said for Marta Fernandez.
“I’m guessing your parents have that same loving commitment, too,” Rosa continued. “Am I right?”
He nodded, remembering how, as a teen, he’d noticed his parents often found little ways to express their love and appreciation for each other. Maybe it was Sherman bringing home fresh flowers because Jeremy’s mom liked having them around the house. Nature’s perfume, she used to say. Sometimes Sherman would even surprise her by special ordering a variety she couldn’t find locally. His mom would randomly bake Sherman’s favorite dessert, instead of asking the cook to take care of it. Then, she’d bring a piece of warm apple pie to his home office when he was up to his ears prepping for a case. Some nights, Jeremy would find his mom sitting in his dad’s office reading on the settee, just so they could be together.
He’d been away from home for so long, he hadn’t thought about those times. How they had shaped his view of the type of marriage he wanted. With Rosa.
“I understand the commitment, Rosa. I want to take care of you and the baby.”
“The thing is, I don’t need a caretaker.” Her thin shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug, a pained expression stamping her beautiful features. “I have family and friends who can help with that. But before we can discuss any type of future for us, I think you have to figure things out with Sherman. And your job. For yourself. Not for me. That won’t happen if you’re driving in and out of the city, stressing about not being here or racing to get somewhere on time.”
Jeremy leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. He dangled his hands between his legs and stared down at the cream-colored carpet. The ups and downs of the last twenty-four hours had him feeling like a rookie boxer dodging punches from the left, only to be hammered by one from the right.
“And I need to deal with the situation at Queen of Peace. On my own.”
A few minutes ago, they’d been ready to get as up close and personal as a couple could get. Too bad he’d been a gentleman and stopped things from progressing.
Now, she was giving him the stiff arm. Pushing him away, again.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his oxfords, one sole-side up where he’d kicked it in his haste earlier. Anger, rooted in hurt over her emotional about-face, raced through him with wildfire speed. Snagging his shoes with two fingers, he shoved his feet into them and shot to a stand.
>
“I don’t know what you want from me, Rosa. If I walk away, I’m irresponsible. If I push to stay with you, I’m being a selfish prick. You admire that I try to help others. But you want to do things on your own. It’s like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”
Frustrated, he shoved a hand through his hair.
“That’s the thing, I don’t want you to feel damned. I don’t want that for either one of us.” Arms crossed in front of her chest in a defensive pose, Rosa’s eyes shone with unshed tears. “Dios mío, we said we were going to take things slow. Then you moved in with me and we started playing house together. In here, it’s all good.” She waved an arm through the air in a jerky move, indicating the room, her voice rising with anxiety. “I’m not denying there’s a strong attraction. But we can’t ignore the outside world.”
She shook her head, her dark ponytail swinging from side to side. Her full mouth thinned. He watched her swallow hard, pulling herself together at the same time her words were pulling him apart.
“Lilí’s here now, so I won’t be alone.” She spoke softly, but firmly. Her mind apparently already made up. “You should head back to the city, take care of things at home.”
Subtext: this wasn’t his home.
Even having anticipated her words, they still stung.
Suddenly he was tired of trying to be the good guy. Tired of her keeping him at a distance when they both knew how good they were together.
“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, Rosa,” he warned, hands shoved in his pants pockets to keep from reaching for her. Frankly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug her or shake some sense into her.
“I’m not trying to get rid of you,” she answered sullenly.
“Yeah, well, you sure coulda fooled me.”
He spun away from her before she saw the hurt he could no longer hide.
“Jeremy, wait!”
He paused in the open doorway, refusing to look back at her. “I’m going downstairs to show your sister how to brew the different teas, explain why the hell there’s a trunk-full of olive jars in the pantry, and make sure she knows how to puree the chicken soup I made that’s in the fridge. That way, when Dolores calls me to check on you, I can tell her I left you in good hands. Just not mine.”
Chapter Seventeen
“So how come Jeremy didn’t come tonight?” Yaz asked late Saturday evening when the family had all gathered at her and Tomás’s house. “I didn’t hear what you said earlier.”
Probably because Rosa had purposefully dodged the question.
She didn’t want to talk about Jeremy or what their plans might be. It was much easier to keep pretending she was fine when, in reality, a maelstrom of mental what-ifs continually bombarded her.
Besides, tonight was about celebrating together. The annual Hanson Academy of Dance Christmas recital had ended a little over an hour ago and, as was their family tradition since Yaz had been a student at Hanson’s, long before she’d become the lead instructor, they were enjoying mugs of homemade hot chocolate. Or in Rosa’s case, mint ginger tea.
She flicked a nervous glance at Lilí, hoping her younger sister might be inclined to pick up the conversational hot potato Rosa silently tossed her way.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the fireplace, Lilí blew into the mug cradled between her hands. She’d made herself comfortable, her brown knee-high boots strewn nearby, the long sleeves of her coral turtleneck sweater pushed up to her elbows. Maria, already changed into pink princess pajamas, lay sprawled on a blanket beside her tía, playing with two Barbie dolls.
Next to Rosa on the black leather couch, Yaz sat with her feet tucked underneath her. She snuggled against Tomás, casually sipping her drink and awaiting Rosa’s response.
Rather than chime in, Lilí scrunched her face at Rosa in a good-luck-with-that expression. She knew it’d been two days since Jeremy had left their house, angry and upset. Two days of Rosa only hearing from him via text. Two long days of Rosa, and strangely Lilí too, moping around the house.
Something was up with Lilí. She’d been texting nonstop with someone, taking phone calls in her room for privacy.
Plus, she’d been sticking close to home, quiet and pensive. Two traits no one normally associated with her. Yet every time Rosa asked about it, all she got in reply was a lame, “It’s nothing for you to worry about. You’ve got your own problems.”
Too bad Lilí was right.
Father Yosef had emailed yesterday afternoon, before the final bell rang for the weekend, to let Rosa know that he and two other board members planned to attend the open mic poetry night on Thursday. He’d heard positive things about the group and wanted to see for himself.
Rosa couldn’t figure out whether the board members showing interest was a good or a bad omen.
She was worried and wanted to share her concerns with Jeremy, get his perspective. Only, he hadn’t answered her calls. His brief text messages claimed he was up to his ears helping Mark Henderson. Apparently the cyber attack on the law firm had hit other employees, too. Mark and Jeremy were working on solving this problem and taking measures to prevent future ones.
Her head told her she should be happy for Jeremy. Helping at Taylor & Millward was a huge step.
Her heart, however, hurt every time she remembered their last conversation, when she’d foolishly sent him away.
“Hey, quit ignoring me.” Yaz nudged Rosa’s knee with her bare foot. “What’s going on with Jeremy?”
“Está ocupado,” Rosa hedged. She took a sip of her tea, avoiding her older sister’s gaze.
“What do you mean, he’s busy?” Yaz pressed. “He came to the recital last year. With everything that’s going on between you two, I figured he’d want to be with the family tonight.”
“He’s with his family.”
“Okay, but—”
“Can we just drop it?” The question came out more curt than she intended. The tense silence that followed her outburst made Rosa feel even worse.
Yaz sat up, her stern frown drawing a deep V in between her brows. She gave Tomás’s thigh a double pat, some sign between them he obviously understood because he set his mug on the glass coffee table and rose.
“Vente, Maria, time for bed.”
“Aw, Papá, just a little more playtime?” the little girl begged.
Sweetheart that she was, when her father shook his head, Maria scrambled up, quickly giving her tías and mamá good-night hugs.
As soon as her husband and daughter were down the hall out of earshot, Yaz pounced.
“Okay, what gives? Jeremy was here practically twenty-four-seven, living with you like familia. And now, poof!” She made two fists, quickly opening them in jazz hands like a magician. “He’s gone?”
“He’s not gone. He’s simply, not here.” Rosa motioned toward Lilí with her tea mug. “Anyway, Lilí’s home so I’m not alone like Dr. Jiménez ordered.”
“Hey now, I’m happy to be here for you, but don’t use me as an excuse to not deal with whatever’s going on between you and Jeremy.” Lilí set her mug on the brick lining the fireplace, then scooted closer to rest her forearms on the coffee table. “Or, with you.”
“I’m fine,” Rosa fibbed. “Still worried about my job, but I’m hopeful.”
“I’m not talking about work. I’m talking about you. And why you keep pushing Jeremy away when I don’t really think you want to.”
Her little sister’s keen perception surprised Rosa. She had tried so hard to keep her doubts hidden.
A log crackled in the fireplace. It toppled to the bottom of the pile, sending sparks into the air behind the grate. Rosa stared at the flames wrapping and dancing around the wood pieces, her thoughts as swirly and chaotic.
“¿Qué pasa?” Yaz asked. She angled on the couch, cross-legged, to face Rosa.
The flickering fire and dim light from the end-table lamp cast the room in shadows, giving an air of privacy ripe for an uneasy confession.
<
br /> Rosa sucked in a shuddering breath, then nervously admitted, “When I spoke with Father Yosef on Thursday, he was more understanding than I expected. I mean, my job isn’t in the clear, but he didn’t push for a quick marriage as a solution.”
“That’s good,” Yaz said when Rosa stopped to gather her nerve.
“Yeah, it is. But the conversation also stirred up fears I’ve been struggling with. For a while now.”
“About what?” Lilí asked.
“About . . .” Rosa balanced her mug on her thigh. The heat seeped through her black leggings, warming the edges of the cold angst she’d been hiding. “I’ve spent most of my life, bueno, since Mami died anyway, often doing the right things for the wrong reason.”
“What do you mean?”
Rosa’s shoulders sagged at Yaz’s simple question, the uneasy guilt she’d carried for so long weighing on her.
Father Yosef had told her she needed to forgive herself for the role she, mistakenly according to him, believed she’d played in Mami’s death. One way to go about doing so was to swallow her self-imposed shame and share her secret with her sisters.
“I used to—no, that’s a lie. Most of the time, I still do blame myself for Mami’s death.”
Lilí’s shocked gasp matched Yaz’s horrified double take.
Rosa took advantage of their stunned silence to rush on before she wimped out. “Mami wouldn’t have been on the road that day if I hadn’t been acting foolish during lunch at school. Thinking I could be flirty, like you, Yaz, and catch one of the football players’ eye. Instead, I tripped and spilled my entire spaghetti tray down the front of my uniform. I was so embarrassed, I called Mami in tears, crying for her to come pick me up so I could go home and hide. It was silly. Dumb of me to try stepping out of my comfort zone to be something I’m not. If I hadn’t done that, if Mami had stayed at work, she never would have been in that accident.”
“Ay, Rosa, how come you never said anything?” Yaz scrambled over on the couch to pull her into a one-armed hug, nearly knocking Rosa’s mug out of her hand. “It wasn’t your fault. None of us have ever thought that, right, Lilí?”
Her Perfect Affair Page 26
