There’s a slight shine to his eyes—hell, mine too—but we both shake it off.
“Come here,” I say, arms open wide.
He lets me pull him in for a hug and I hold on to him probably longer than necessary, but it still feels like too little too late.
The uncertain smile he gives me when he pulls away threatens to break my damn heart.
He steps out of the war room first. I need a minute to take a breath. No, what I need is my wife.
In the living room, Wrath, Trinity, and Heidi are keeping Hope company.
I clear my throat and try to shake off the unbearable weight of what I just learned.
“You’re not telling her more horror stories about labor, are you, Heidi?” I ask, forcing my mouth into a smile.
Her eyes widen. “Not me, Uncle Rock.” She flashes a quick grin, similar to her brother’s, so I guess that comes from their mother.
I draw her closer with an arm around her shoulders. “How you doin’, kid? Feel like I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“School’s crazy. And I’m running to the studio after work most days.”
“Still going to graduate in the spring?”
Her mouth turns down. “I’m not sure. I have to do another internship. So they might let me walk, but I won’t get my diploma until the end of the summer.”
“That sucks,” Teller says. “Are you serious? With the money they’re squeezing out of you for tuition, they can’t find you an internship sooner?”
“It’s okay. I can’t really take on much more right now anyway, but I’m still talking it out with my advisor.”
“You need something, let me know,” I say before ruffling her hair and joining my wife. She takes my hand and stares into my eyes for a few seconds, asking without words if everything’s okay. I give her a subtle nod, and then my gaze lands on Wrath, who’s watching us without the usual smirk.
His gaze darts to Teller, then back to me, and he lifts his chin slightly. Wrath’s always had an uncanny ability to read me and piece things together fast. I don’t doubt he already suspects. Shit, he’s the one who started calling Teller my “mini-me” years ago.
Maybe he’s smarter than any of us give him credit for.
Chapter Thirteen
Rock
At the clubhouse, in front of everyone else, I couldn’t afford to show any emotion other than elation that the case with Inga is, for all intents and purposes, over.
In front of Teller, I wanted to remain calm and in control. He’s had his whole life, his history, his past, who he is, turned inside out. Both of us have. But I won’t be responsible for causing him any more harm than I already have.
Once I’m home, though, I fucking lose it.
“Rock. It’s okay. Calm down,” Hope says, holding out her hands like she’s trying to tame a wild animal. That’s exactly how I feel, feral. Out of control. Breathing fire with nowhere and no one to direct my fury.
Who can I be angry with? Who’s to blame?
Marcel’s mother? She was a fucking teenager herself. If she knew, I want to believe she did what she thought was in the best interest of her child. Marrying someone she thought would provide a better life for him than a twelve-year-old man-child. Can’t really blame her there.
Inga? I should thank the bitch. Without her conniving, manipulative bullshit, I might have continued living in ignorance for the rest of my life, never knowing Marcel was my flesh and blood.
My father? For leaving me for hours, sometimes days at a time in the care of a teenage girl who was as lonely and messed up as I was? For being amused when he found us in bed together. For acting like a pal and congratulating me instead of being a father? Since he’s dead, blaming him seems pointless.
Hope? For telling us the truth? She could have lied and hidden this to spare us the pain.
“This isn’t your fault, Rock,” she insists as if she knew where my next thoughts were headed.
“Isn’t it?” I run my fingers through my hair, ready to tear it out. “You have any idea the things I’ve asked him to do over the years?”
She flinches because I think deep down, she understands I’m talking about more than drunken parties, drug-fueled orgies, and club whores. As much as she always says she understands the things I’ve done, I don’t think she enjoys being reminded of the blood on my hands.
“He’s a brother. You’re his president. You’re both loyal to the club, Rock.” Her calm, rational tone pushes me in the opposite direction. “You’ve both done what needed to be done to protect the club. To protect your family.”
“The things he’s witnessed because of me? You don’t understand the danger I’ve put him in over the years.” I’ve asked Teller to commit murder. More than once. Shown him how to properly dispose of a body to leave no evidence behind.
Not exactly father-son bonding activities.
She shakes her head. “I can’t imagine.” She twists her hands and looks away. “I won’t lie and say I understand everything about what the club’s involved in or its history. Teller and Murphy have both joked about their childhoods, have tried to diminish what they went through because they want to be strong men who aren’t dragged down by their pasts.”
She takes a deep breath and steps closer, staring me down. “But the reality is, they were children who’d basically been abandoned, were they not?” she challenges.
I meet her eyes. My jaw clenches tighter.
“It was the same for you, wasn’t it?” she says in a gentler tone. “Your father wasn’t there for you when he should’ve been? Grinder was the one who took you under his wing? Mentored you?”
“Brought me into the club,” I rasp.
“Where you found a family of sorts?”
“Fuck!” I can’t listen to any more. Or relive things I’d rather forget. I don’t want to be in the house, with the walls caging me in any longer.
“Rock, stop.” Hope reaches for me. “I’m so sorry. If I’d known this would’ve been the outcome…”
What? She would’ve advised me not to take the test? Scheduled Teller and I on different days? Stopped the lab from fucking up?
All of this happened for a reason.
Would I even want to continue living my life in ignorance? Never knowing the truth?
Is that why I’m so damn rattled?
Hope’s tenacious, following me to the front door. I should slow down; she’s not in a condition to chase after me. I stop in my tracks and turn so abruptly, she crashes against my chest. Automatically, I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight. Expressing with my body the things I can’t say.
How grateful I am to have her. How much I love her for accepting this so easily when I can barely digest the news myself.
For not looking at me any differently.
For embracing Teller even more than she already has.
I cup her cheeks and lean down for a kiss. “Thank you,” I say against her lips. I squeeze my eyes tight, inhaling her, allowing her calm to seep into my bones.
“I love you. I love you so much.” Her voice breaks, almost breaking me. “No matter what.”
Hope
Against my body, Rock’s heart races. I want to snuggle up against him, wrap him up in my love until the anger with himself dissolves.
Except there’s like two feet of belly in my way. Still, I cling to him, unwilling to let go yet.
A sharp cramp steals my breath, and I hunch over, slipping out of his embrace. “Oh.”
Rock’s instantly alarmed. “Hope? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just a cramp.” It’s more of a tightening sensation. Slightly different from anything else I’ve ever felt. “Ow.”
“Come here. Sit down.” He guides me over to the couch and kneels in front of me. “Better?”
“I think so.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, it happens again.
Fear digs its claws into my heart. What if something is genuinely wrong with Grace?
“Shit.” Rock run
s his hands through his hair. His gaze darts around the room. He’s a man of action, and he’s clearly trying to decide what to do next. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you so upset.”
“I’m not upset. This has nothing to do with that.” I’m not entirely sure that’s true, but I’m not giving Rock another thing to feel guilty over. “It’s probably the false labor pains we read about.”
“It’s too early for that.”
“Not necessarily.”
We both whip out our phones, googling false labor to see who’s right.
We both come up with conflicting answers.
Rock gently eases my phone out of my hand. “I want to run you to the hospital.”
“No way. I haven’t had one in a while now.” As the words come out of my mouth, my body betrays me. The tightening sensation washes over me again. Except this time, it’s more than unusual or uncomfortable. It fucking hurts. A lot.
“That’s it.” He glances at the door. “Fuck. I knew not extending the driveway out here sooner was going to be an issue.”
“I can walk. Maybe it will help.” I hold out my hands, and he pulls me up.
Outside, I concentrate on taking long, deep breaths as we slowly navigate the path toward the clubhouse.
Teller meets us in the garage. “Hey, I was just going to stop by and—what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say at the same time Rock explains we’re going to the hospital.
Teller’s eyes widen, and I know right where his mind went. Damn it, he really is like Rock. “It’s nothing, Teller. Rock’s just being overprotective.”
I grit my teeth as the pain comes again, not fooling either of them.
“Here, let me help you guys.” Teller looks toward his bike. “Do you want me to go get my truck? It has the steps that lower, so it’s easier for her.”
“I’m fine. Let’s get this over with.” The tightening sensation worsens as soon as I’m in the truck and Rock shuts the door.
I rub my hand over my belly. “It’s way too early, Grace,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “Please, please be okay. We love you so much, and can’t wait to meet you. But you’re not done baking yet.” I’m sure I sound like a lunatic talking to the baby. Really, I’m trying to calm myself.
Rock’s door swings open, and he jumps in the truck. “You okay?”
“I’m afraid to say. Every time I say I’m fine, one hits me again.” I refuse to call whatever it is a contraction. It’s not. It’s too early.
It can’t be.
Chapter Fourteen
Rock
If this doctor says it’s “only” Braxton Hicks to Hope one more time, I’m going to shove my fist in his gut and tell him it’s a tickle.
I saw the pain on Hope’s face. Saw how scared she was.
My heart’s still hammering.
“Thank fuck he’s not your regular doctor,” I growl as he walks out of the room, not giving a fuck if he hears me or not.
“Rock, calm down. I’m okay.” She holds out her hand to me. “Help me get dressed.”
“Yeah, let’s get you out of here.”
After an additional hour of bullshit to get her released from the hospital, we’re finally free.
“I’ll be right back.” I kiss the top of her head before walking out to get the truck.
My phone buzzes and I yank it out to find a dozen or so texts from Wrath and Teller. I shoot them a quick line to let them know we’re okay and on our way home.
It’s a relief to finally have Hope in the truck.
“Well, at least I know what those feel like so next time I won’t freak out.” How she’s so calm and cheerful after all of that, I don’t know.
“We need to talk about something.”
She glances over with wide eyes and I reach over to take her hand. “Nothing bad. Sorry. I’m tired.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“The drive to the hospital is way too long for my comfort.” I point to the new hotel across from Empire Medical Center. “I think the week you’re due, we should come stay here.”
Her mouth twitches. “That’s not the vacation I had in mind.”
“I’m serious.”
“What if I’m late? We could be there for weeks waiting for—”
“Then we’ll be there. It’s not far from downtown. Or Crystal Ball, my shop, or the property, so I can still get done whatever I need to do.”
“While I hang out there by myself?”
“No. Someone will be with you.”
She hesitates and groans as I stop at the third red light in a row. “Honestly, I was thinking the same thing last night. It felt like it took forever to get down here. It’s a good idea.”
“Thank you. That way we won’t have to worry about forgetting anything at home. We’ll have whatever you need packed and with us.”
“So kind of like a babymoon.”
“Sorry it’s not more romantic.”
“Actually, it’s a little romantic. And sexy as hell that my husband thinks of everything.”
I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. “You heard the doctor when he said sex can bring on those contractions again, right?”
“So? You’re not going to touch me again until the baby comes?” She gives me her own sideways glance. “I highly doubt that.”
Of course, she’s right.
Everyone’s waiting at the clubhouse for us when we return. “You want to go rest?” I ask.
“No, let’s talk to Teller. I don’t want him thinking this had anything to do with him… with the news.”
How can she say that? Based on what the doctor said, stress absolutely could have triggered this episode. And what’s more stressful than finding out your husband has an adult son he never knew about?
“Hope, you heard what—”
“Rock.” She cuts me off and reaches over to squeeze my arm. “It had nothing to do with it. I’m fine. Grace is fine. I will not let Teller think he caused us any distress. He’s dealing with enough right now.”
I can’t answer, so I lean over and kiss her. When we part, I rest my forehead against hers. The full weight of her gaze on me forces my eyes open. “Promise me,” she insists.
“Thank you.”
She jerks her head toward the door. “Now come help me out of this thing.”
Hope
“Jesus, Hope. You scared the shit out of us.” Trinity hugs me as soon as she sees me. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
“Everything’s fine. It was false labor pains. The doctor kept acting like it was no big deal. I wanted to squeeze his nuts in my fist.”
Behind me, Rock growls.
“Blanket party?” Wrath asks, lifting his chin at Rock.
Rock laughs. “No.”
I squint at Wrath. “I’m not sure what that is. Are you starting trouble?”
“Who me?” He raises his eyebrows and touches his chest.
I poke him in the side. “Yes, you.”
He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “We were worried about you.”
“Well, now I know what they are and how to monitor them to make sure it’s not preterm labor.”
I can tell I’m losing Wrath’s attention and I pat him on the back. “Everything’s okay.”
My gaze searches the room. “Where’s Teller?”
Z scowls. “He took off after he got Rock’s text that everything was okay.”
“Where’d he go?” Rock asks.
“Home, I guess.” Z shrugs.
“Want me to get him up here?” Wrath asks.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll call him,” Rock says. He touches my shoulder briefly. “You all right?”
“I’ll take care of her, Rock,” Trinity promises. She slips an arm around me. “I bet they didn’t feed you at the hospital.”
“No, they did not.”
Trinity grills up two fat cheeseburgers in the kitchen, and we sit at the table. I eye her plate when she sets it down. “Did you think both burgers w
ere for you?” she asks.
“Kinda.”
She snorts and sits down. “I’ll make you another one if you’re still hungry.”
“Oh my God,” I mumble around the best burger I’ve had in a long time.
“So, tell me what happened.”
I leave out the stuff about Teller for obvious reasons and give her an abbreviated version.
“The doctor said I need to drink more water. Dehydration can bring them on too. But dammit, I already guzzle water like a damn camel and pee fifty times an hour.”
“Hmm.” Trinity taps her nails against the table.
“Oh no. I know that look. You’re going to try to feed me something gross.”
She rolls her eyes. “I was thinking watermelons, strawberries, cantaloupe, cucumbers—stuff with a high water content.”
“Oooh! What about popsicles?”
“I can make some. None of those nasty sugar-riddled, artificially colored nasty store-bought ones.”
What would I do without Trinity always looking out for me? She may not want to be a mom, but she’s going to be a wonderful aunt to Grace.
I reach over and give her a big snuggle-hug. “You just love to suck the fun out of everything, don’t you?”
Chapter Fifteen
Rock
I watch Hope constantly for the next few days, but she seems fine. I’m still anxious every time she moves, which I think is thoroughly grating on her nerves.
Teller disappeared, and we haven’t seen him since the night we went to the hospital.
Apparently he told Murphy and Heidi I gave him some business to take care of out in western New York. I would’ve appreciated the heads-up about the lie he told, and I send him a few texts expressing that opinion.
And get nothing in return.
“I’m going to kick his fucking ass for making me worry,” I fume, stalking back and forth at the end of the bed.
“Rock, let him have some time to adjust.” Hope’s been patient with my bullshit, but it’s starting to wear thin.
After Glow Page 10
