Letting Go

by J. M. Witt

  

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  The next Friday I was enjoying lunch at my desk when I got another delivery of peonies. This bouquet as all pale pink and red and I didn’t have to guess who they were from.

  I miss you.

  Love, James

  I read it over and over again. The word ‘love’ was not lost on me. I couldn’t think about it because I would just drive myself mad. I had kept him at arm’s length all week and he had been more than accommodating. My body, heart and soul were aching for him. I needed him like I needed air to breathe. I grabbed my cell phone and sent him a text.

  Thank you, they’re beautiful.

  I miss you, too.

  Love, Cassidy

  I started chewing on my nails as I awaited a reply. I practically dropped my phone from anxiety when it started vibrating and chirping in my hands.

  I want you in my bed, Blackbird.

  Love, James

  I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

  What time do you want me?

  Love, Blackbird

  How soon can I have you?

  Love, J

  I’ll try to sneak out of here early.

  My place or yours?

  Mine.

  Love, J

  See you soon.

  Love, Cass

  I worked for a couple more hours. The office was quiet for a Friday; I was all caught up on work and Cecily was gone for the weekend. I picked up my office phone and dialed Lena’s extension.

  “Hey, boss, what can I do you for?”

  I chuckled before responding, “I’m headed out early. If things stay quiet for the next hour go ahead and head home.”

  “Sure thing. Have a great weekend.”

  “Thanks, you, too.”

  

  As I headed up the elevator to his penthouse I started getting nervous. I walked in the door to the sound of soft music. I set my purse and the peonies on the counter and spotted a folded piece of paper with ‘Cassidy’ written on it. I picked it up and began reading.

  Go to my room and remove your clothes,

  leave your bra and panties on. I want

  your hair down. Sit on the end of the bed

  on your knees. I’ll join you soon.

  ~James

  Just reading his letter had me throbbing and wet. I removed my coat and hung it by the front door before heading upstairs. I walked into his room to see candles burning in different locations throughout the room. The lights were off, the curtains closed and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was there watching me. I removed my shoes, socks, jeans and sweater before letting my hair down. I took my place on the bed and realized how warm the room was, probably due to the dozens of candles burning.

  Several minutes later I heard the faint click of a door. I straightened my spine and locked my eyes on the doorway, awaiting his grand entrance. His figure dominated the doorway and I looked him up and down, taking in his appearance. His feet were bare and my eyes danced over his muscular calves and thighs. He was wearing tight black boxer briefs and I could see him straining against the fabric. I took in a shaky breath as I continued gazing at him.

  He started to walk to me and I asked, “Wait, please stop.” He tilted his head at me. “I just want to look at you. I love looking at you.”

  He smiled broadly as I took in the muscles of his abdomen that formed that sinister V, and then I looked to his massive chest and his glorious arms. Now that I looked closer, he appeared to be sweaty like he had just worked out. I audibly groaned and I knew there was no stopping him now. I barely had time to take a breath before he claimed me. His kiss was bruising and passionate and his hands were like a vice on my back before gripping my wrists behind me as he tugged me closer to him. The smell of him, cologne and sweat, assaulted my senses, making me dizzy with want.

  Tearing his lips away from mine, we were both panting, “Cassidy.” He seemed lost like he wasn’t quite sure what to say.

  “James, I’ve missed you terribly. I’m sorry I pushed you away this past week.” He released my wrists and I found myself running my hands all over his chest and looking up into those green eyes that captivated me—a tremor ran through me. “You have my heart, you own my body and my soul is lost without you. I’m yours, James.”

  “And I’m yours.” He cupped my face between his hands looking all serious.

  “Tie me up and take me.”

  That smirk of his that I loved so much took over his face. He looked at the bed, back to me and then back to the bed while puckering his lips, looking at me intently.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong. I’m just debating about what and how to do you. Slow and soft, hard and fast…”

  

  ~ JAMES ~

  “I vote for slow and hard.” Her voice was soft and hesitant, but her eyes were glazed over in anticipation as she practically squirmed off the bed.

  Pulling her close, I kissed before pushing her down on her back. “I like how you think.”

  Leaning down to kiss her again, she grabbed my hair and pulled it free before yanking on it. I pried her arms off me before grabbing the waistband of her panties, yanking them down her legs as she let out a small gasp. I released a growl of my own; she was almost breathless and smiling serenely up at me.

  I gathered her thighs in my hands and spread her wide. Tilting her head back, she took a deep breath as I pressed her knees down on each side of the bed holding her firmly in place, open wide for my attention. I dug my fingers into her skin at the juncture of her hips and thighs, scraping my fingers down to her knees as she attempted to lift her hips. Now I knew what I wanted and what she needed.

  “I’m going to restrain you differently than I have before. I want you spread wide for me.” She consented as I pulled various lengths of silk binds out of a drawer in my armoire.

  She looked at me and balked, “You’re always prepared?”

  Smiling, I walked to the end of the bed and began tying her up. I placed the ties just below each knee explaining, “I want your ass on the edge of the bed, but your legs bent to the side, flat on the bed, your calves dangling off the end. If you pull against them you’ll bruise. Understand?”

  I made sure her hips were where I wanted them before I climbed on the bed and pulled her arms above her head. Clasping her fingers around themselves, I tied her wrists to the headboard with a long silk bind.

  “Pull gently.” She did as I asked and I tightened them further causing her to wince and I looked to her, concern in my eyes. “Are you good?”

  “Yes. It’s liberating to be so confined.”

  “I’ve missed your enthusiasm.” I was beaming with pride.

  Leaning over her face, I kissed her mouth once again. Our lips were misaligned since I was above and behind her. I continued kissing her from this angle down her neck and across her upper chest. I noticed her nipples harden against her bra and pulled the cups down, running my hand across the space just below her breasts. My hand glided down to her navel and further down to her almost nonexistent patch of curls, massaging her mound as she groaned deeply.

  Turning myself, our chests formed a right angle as I licked her phoenix tattoo. Her breathing was erratic and raspy and I took a mental note of her sensitivity there before standing and walking to the end of the bed. My cock was fully erect and pressing out, seeking freedom from its confinement. She watched me as I freed myself from the boxer briefs, licking her lips and closing her eyes as she turned her head to the side into her arm. Standing between her legs I caressed her waist, making my way down to her knees.

  “Are you ready, Cassidy?” Her moan of consent was all I needed.

  The bed was the perfect height for me to take her standing. I fisted my cock while trailing a finger down her slit. Her lips were damp and she opened further under my touch. My erection pulsing in my hand, I inched toward her and placed my cock on her mound while my sack rubbed her labia. She attempted to shift her hips and groan
ed, remembering she was immobile.

  “I want to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours.”

  Her eyes pierced mine as I rammed my cock into her slow and hard with my hands braced on her knees. Cassidy arched her back what little the restraints allowed, lifting her chin to the ceiling. I repeated my movement into her over and over. I soon recognized the trembling beginning in her core, signaling her impending climax. She was holding her breath and her eyes were glazed over.

  “Breathe, Cassidy. You’ll feel more if you breathe. You’re already so close.”

  Stilling myself while she caught her breath, I proceeded with my attack before she could beg me to continue. It wasn’t long before she let out a guttural moan that sent me tumbling over the edge with her. Her nipples hardened even more as her orgasm spread across the utopia of her body, causing a slight blush to creep up her neck to her face. I loved her like this; in the afterglow with her body still trembling, lips parted and panting for air as her breasts heaved. I dropped my head to her belly and breathed in her scent. I could take her like this every day for eternity.

  “That was so good, but way too quick, Blackbird. You’re going to be sore tomorrow when I’m through with you.”

  “Just the way I like it,” she panted.

  

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  My head was on his chest and we were both panting again. I sat up; straddling him with our bodies still attached, and tenderly ran my fingers all over his chest before tweaking his nipples before he flipped me to my back.

  “Eeek.” I was giggling and pushing on his forearms as he pinned his body on top of mine.

  “You’re going to be the death of me.” He smiled down at me before laying his head down on my belly. Running my fingers through his silky strands, a release of satisfaction left his mouth, “Mmm.”

  Before I knew it, I recognized the sound of his heavy breathing. He was falling asleep. “James?”

  “Unh.”

  “I’m sorry baby, I have to pee.”

  He rolled off me and crawled up to the pillows. I kissed his cheek and started to scoot off the bed when he grabbed my wrist. “Hurry back. I want you with me.” I smiled as I rushed off to the bathroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven – Thankful…

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  “So, when is the concert?” I lifted my head to meet his eyes in the mirror and he said, “Your birthday gift.”

  “Oh, right.” I let a little chuckle escape my lips as I finished brushing my teeth. He was trimming and shaving his goatee that was now a full beard. I rinsed my mouth and responded, “In a few weeks, I think it’s the week before Christmas.”

  “Who’s performing?”

  “Umm.” I felt myself blush.

  “Should I be worried about this high school crush of yours?” He had me pinned against the counter while rubbing his nose against mine.

  Laughing, I said, “It’s not as bad as my Dad and Cal made it out to be. I liked his music, I still do. I don’t understand what the big deal is.”

  “So tell me who it is, if it’s not a big deal.”

  I placed my hands over my face before grunting out, “Chris Isaak.” He looked shocked. “What? He puts on a great show.” He just stared at me with that big stupid grin of his. “Stop looking at me like that. What are you thinking?”

  "I took you more for a Rob Zombie girl."

  “I like him, too.” He started belly laughing and I could feel myself blush further.

  “Your taste in music is quite eclectic. Maybe I should take you to see Weird Al.”

  I smacked his chest as I crinkled up my face in disgust. “Watch it, Mr. Benedict. I’m sure you have some questionable music tastes, too.”

  “Nope, not I.” He winked before heading to the closet to dress.

  

  It was Thanksgiving. Dad and Lisa were getting married the next day. We’d planned to have lunch with James’s parents and dinner at Dad’s since we were staying the night there so I could be there in the morning for all the wedding deliveries. Dad and Lisa took the news about Mom and Dan better than I expected they would. Better than I did. I had tried not to think about it, knowing James, Annie, Smith and Cal were doing everything possible to get to the bottom of it all. It’d been pretty quiet on the Dan front, which I must admit had me a little worried.

  The past couple weeks with James had been bliss, or as close as I had ever been to it. I couldn’t help but worry something was going to mess it up. Having had the pleasure of sleeping in his arms almost every night as he rained his sweet kisses over every inch of my body had been dreamlike. Missionary, doggy, shower, table, floor, couch, you name it and we’ve probably done it. I was blushing just thinking about it. He had turned me into a wanton sex kitten. Speaking of sex kitten, Saturday was the fetish party and I was very curious and nervous, but James had ensured me that there was nothing to be worried about.

  “Hey, babe, you ready to go?” Pulling me from my thoughts and my packing, he came back into my bedroom. I would never tire from looking at him. He was wearing jeans and an oxford under a tight fitting gray sweater with the lapel collar turned up. His arms and chest were bulging in the sweater.

  “You look hot.”

  He smirked, “Not so bad yourself.” I waved him off and started zipping up my overnight bag.

  “I think I have everything. My dress and shoes for the wedding are at Dad’s; hair stuff, makeup…What am I forgetting?”

  “Birth control?” Curling up behind me, he rubbed his groin into me. “You have enough packed for a week and you’re only going to be gone two nights.”

  “Yes, I have my pills.” I pushed back against him and then turned in his arms, “You’re very tempting, but your parents are expecting us.” I grabbed my bags and started for the stairs when he snatched my bags from my grasp—always the gentleman—and we made our way downstairs.

  When we stepped outside I was greeted by a big Ford pickup truck. “Where’s the Rover?”

  He smirked at me as he placed my bags in the back seat of the quad cab. “Eh, wasn’t feeling it anymore. Figured I’d spread the Ford love. Do you like it?”

  “Like it, I love it. Haven’t I told you I have a thing for guys in big trucks?” I winked at him as I circled the truck admiring it. “My Dad and Cal are going to be envious!”

  Chuckling as he opened my door, he didn’t miss an opportunity to squeeze my ass as I climbed in.

  “You’re gonna have to wait. Maybe we can christen her later.” He groaned at my seductive stare before closing the door.

  We pulled up to his parents’ place to a flurry of activity and not the activity you wanted to see. There were a few cop cars and an ambulance parked in the drive. James threw it in park, immediately jumping out of the truck before I had a chance to unbuckle. He’d already vanished inside when I spotted Cal and Jane.

  “What’s going on?” I was catching my breath from running up the drive to the house.

  “It’s Aunt Eva. She collapsed and wouldn’t come to so we had to call the paramedics. She was awake by the time they arrived and is now fighting going to the hospital.” Jane was clearly upset and Cal had a protective arm around her.

  “Oh, God. James told me about the cancer but he hasn’t elaborated further. How bad is it?” My heart was pounding as my throat tightened. I couldn’t begin to imagine what James was going through.

  Jane tried to speak, but her emotions took over and Cal pulled her to his chest and I rubbed her back.

  “From what Jane has told me, it’s bad. She doesn’t have much time.”

  My stomach dropped as his words sank in. I should go to him. Making my way inside, following the voices, I entered the living room to find that Eva was sitting on the couch with a paramedic monitoring her vitals while another spoke to James and his father. Eva spotted me and waved me over with a reassuring smile on her face. She patted the couch next to her so I sat down and she grabbed my hand. I needed to spend more time with her; I had so many questions
for her.

  “My lovely girl. They’re fussing over nothing. Everything is just fine. You’re a woman; you know what it’s like to overdo it. I just did too much preparing for today.”

  I was at a loss. I sensed that she was trying to cover up how serious it was. “Eva, maybe you should let them take you to the hospital just to be sure.”

  “Thank you. She needs to go.” James was now in front of us, squatting down to our level.

  “Pish, posh. This is nonsense. I’m spending Thanksgiving at home with my family.”

  “Dammit, Mom.” We both jumped at his tone. “I’m sorry, but you’re being a stubborn ass.”

  I did my best to hold back my smirk. Watching him take this tone with his mother was quite amusing.

  She seemed to be considering what he was saying and was looking between him, the paramedic, J.J. and me. “Fine, but I’m not staying longer than one night.”

  I could practically see the tension roll off of James, J.J. and the paramedics. They wheeled over the ambulance bed and she started cursing them. We all got a good laugh out of her throwing a fit as she was strapped to the bed, rolled out of the house and then put in the ambulance. James made his way back to the porch where I was standing with Cal and Jane.

  “Cassidy, I’m so sorry, but I need to be at the hospital with Mom.”

  “I can come with you.”

  “Cass, I don’t know when I’ll be leaving. I may miss the wedding tomorrow and you have so much you need to get done. I’m sure Cal can give you a lift.”

  “I, um, okay. Are you sure? I want to be with you. I’m so sorry.” He grabbed my hands and tenderly rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles.

  “I know you do. I’ll head up to your dad’s as soon as Mom’s in the clear.” He kissed my forehead before pulling me toward his truck. “Jane, you can ride with me if you like.”