by Jay Bell
The painting Tim had given him was already there. Of course Tim had painted it. During dinner Ben had noticed paint on his fingernails that matched the colors exactly. If only stupid Karen hadn’t opened her big trap. Still, it was incredibly romantic. Ben never had suspected that Tim had artistic impulses, but it made him love him even more.
The word surprised him. Did he love Tim? If he didn’t, what else could it be? Ben pondered this while waiting for his parents to settle down for the night, before sneaking down the stairs and out the front door. Before long he was on Tim’s porch. His hand shook as he used the key, thinking any moment that a light would turn on or an alarm would sound. At least the door was new enough not to squeak as he pushed it open. The house was dead silent, every window dark, but what if the Wymans heard him? How would he ever explain why he was there?
The air conditioner kicked on as he ascended the stairs, causing him to jump. This was twice as scary as the haunted house had been! Ben took a moment to calm himself before creeping down the hallway. He opened the door to Tim’s room as silently as possible and slid inside.
The shadows in the room were long. Ben had expected to find Tim lying on the bed, but he could see in the limited light that the bed was still made and unoccupied.
“Hey,” came a voice from behind.
“Gah!” Ben exclaimed loudly. “Oh shit!” he whispered, clamping his hand over his mouth, but Tim laughed as if there was nothing to worry about.
“Your parents!” Ben hissed.
“Business trip,” he chuckled. “They won’t be back until tomorrow, but that was a good test run. I didn’t hear you until you were at my door.”
Ben slugged him playfully and laughed himself. He reached for the light switch, but Tim moved his hand away, pulling out a Zippo lighter instead, which he used to light a handful of candles in the room.
Ben smiled from ear to ear, knowing what would happen next. He untied his shoes, kicked them off, and tossed himself into bed. “So I hear that you are officially single,” he said playfully. “Does this mean that you are back on the prowl again?”
“I never stop prowling.” Tim growled like a tiger as he flicked the Zippo shut.
“I see, but at the ripe old age of seventeen, don’t you think it’s time you settled down with someone special?”
“Meaning?” Tim inquired.
“I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Jesus, Benjamin!” Tim swore. “You don’t let up do you?” He forced away a smile and shook his head. “It’s not enough that you make me dump my girlfriend?”
“If she was good enough for you to date, then I am twice as qualified,” Ben grinned. “Anything a girl can do, I can better,” he singsonged.
“Off hand, I can think of a few things that you can’t!” Tim taunted.
“Well, anyway. What do you think? Seriously.”
“I think I want a test drive before I buy the car.” Tim leapt on him, kissing his face, biting his neck, and making him laugh. They rolled and wrestled with each other until their playfulness became more serious. Tim tore at Ben’s clothes as if he hadn’t seen him for years. Ben followed suit, and their passion became almost a struggle, each more desperate than the other to touch, taste, explore. Once wasn’t enough tonight. After a break to raid the kitchen for food, they were back at it again, this time taking things slowly. The candles had all burnt down by the time they fell asleep, their bodies tangled comfortably together.
When the screeching of the alarm clock woke them. They moaned and griped in unison, not wanting to face the reality of another week of school. Tim got out of bed first. The sight of him standing there naked, sporting morning wood as he scratched his chest, was enough to brush away the last remnants of sleep from Ben.
“Wanna take a shower together?” he offered.
“We’re going to be late,” Tim countered.
“We can skip first period, you know.” Ben told him how the attendance system worked, Tim listening with an intrigued expression.
“I wondered how you were able to take care of me without getting in trouble. You really know how to play things to your advantage, don’t you? You’ve shaved an hour off the school day, and now you’re manipulating me into being your boyfriend.”
“So we are?” Ben beamed.
“Yeah,” Tim smiled back. “Why not? But listen, I don’t want anyone getting in our way. My parents can’t know about this. No one at school, either.”
“So just like things were before?” Ben said with some disappointment.
“Not like before. No Krista, no other girls, and definitely no other guys. Just me and you. I want it to stay that way.”
Ben didn’t think there was anything to fear from parents or school. Those were all demons he had faced already. Tim just needed time to realize these things for himself. Rather than argue the point, Ben rose and dragged his new boyfriend into the shower.
Chapter Eleven
“He hit me.”
Ben was dumbstruck, staring at his best friend and waiting for a mischievous smile to show that she was kidding. It never came. Tears formed in her eyes as he stood there holding the front door open. He had been on the verge of sneaking out to stay the night at Tim’s house, as he had done so many nights in the past month, when she had started throwing pebbles at his window.
“Come upstairs,” Ben whispered, not wanting to wake his parents. “Ronnie hit you?” he asked once he had closed his bedroom door.
“No! My father!” The emotional dam finally broke and Allison dissolved into tears.
Ben wrapped an arm around her, examining her as he did so. Allison’s left jaw looked red and sore with early signs of swelling. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he held her, letting her cry it out without assaulting her with questions.
“He’s such an idiot,” she sobbed. “I had permission to go out with Ronnie and everything.”
“What set him off, then?” Ben asked, breaking away from her to grab some tissues.
“Thanks.” Allison blew her nose noisily. “He caught Ronnie kissing me goodnight. That’s it. He wasn’t feeling me up or anything. My dad just flew off the handle and shoved Ronnie away. I started screaming at him, and he punched me.” She held a trembling hand up to her jaw.
“Bastard,” Ben snarled, his own anger causing him to clench his teeth. “What did Ronnie do?”
“He was already gone.” Allison shook her head. “I’m not telling it right.”
“It’s okay. Just try to calm down.”
“I’m all right.” She took a deep breath. “After Dad shoved Ronnie I got in between them and told Ronnie to leave. After he was gone I started arguing with Dad, and that’s when he hit me and I ran straight over here. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“I’m glad you came,” Ben said. “You should stay the night here.”
“Thanks.” Allison sniffed and sighed. “What are we going to do about this?”
Ben chewed his lip thoughtfully while they considered the situation in silence. Allison didn’t have any other in-state relatives, and the idea of her moving far away was unbearable. But how could she endure living with such a monster? What was to stop something like this from happening again?
“I wish we were already in college,” he said wistfully.
“You and me both. Have you decided yet?”
That was another unhappy topic. Ben wanted to continue his vocal training at an arts college that specialized in music. Allison wanted to pursue a medical career at one of the more traditional colleges. The inevitable separation if they chose different schools was something neither of them liked to think of, and now wasn’t the time to discuss it further.
“I have no idea,” Ben replied. “It’s all so far away. You want your PJs?”
“Yeah.”
Allison had stayed the night so often that she had bought a pair of pajamas to keep in his room. It was a miracle that her father had never figured out that she was actually staying the night with him and no
t Karen. Their former friendship had been useful camouflage in that regard.
The next day was a school day, which presented an awkward situation. Ben decided to confide in his mother, who wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as he would have expected. The bruise on Allison’s face was twice as ugly now and left no room for doubt as to the truth of her story, but it was clear that his mother wasn’t willing to interfere with someone else’s parenting. There was no point in asking her if Allison could stay with them longer, but she at least granted him permission to skip school for the day.
In the afternoon they decided to go to Allison’s house so she could get a change of clothes, despite the possibility that Mr. Cross might be there when they arrived. He wasn’t, but the house was in more disarray than normal, with food left out on the counter, dirty dishes, and a broken drinking glass on the kitchen floor. Ben helped her clean up before they went to her room.
“You should go,” Allison said. “There’s no point in me leaving.”
Ben understood how she was feeling. As they surveyed her room, it hit home how hard it would be to leave it all behind. Where would she go? She didn’t have a job and wasn’t finished with school. All she owned was right in front of them, but suddenly it didn’t seem like much compared to what the real world demanded.
“I have to face him sooner or later, right?” Allison said. “I mean, he’s my dad. We’ll work it out, but you shouldn’t be here when he gets back.”
“Forget it, I’m staying,” Ben said. “I’m staying and I’m going to have a word with him.”
“You’re sweet, but that’s not a good idea. You being here is just going to upset him even more.”
“Yeah, yeah. I said the exact same thing last time you had a terrible idea, but I still went along with it,” Ben reminded her. “You owe me one. In fact, I think it’s best if you left me here alone.”
“What? You’re insane.”
“No, I mean it. I’ll talk to your dad, then I’ll meet you back at my place and I can tell you what he said.”
Allison was hesitant, but Ben managed to convince her. Only after she had gone was he free to question the soundness of his idea. Who did he think he was, an ambassador? What if Mr. Cross started beating the crap out of him? He could get killed!
The sound of the front door opening caused his stomach to churn. He should have at least left the house with Allison and returned to ring the doorbell. Now it looked like he was a burglar.
Ben left her room and walked to the head of the stairs. Mr. Cross was already looking upward, an expression of hope on his face that turned dark when he didn’t see his daughter.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he challenged.
“Allison and I came back to get her a change of clothes. She’s not here,” Ben added when Mr. Cross started up the stairs with a determined look on his face, “but she told me everything.”
Mr. Cross stopped, and for the briefest moment, there was shame in his eyes. It marked the end of Ben’s fear of the man. Ben walked down the stairs until he was face to face with Allison’s father.
“She told me everything, but she would never tell the police,” Ben continued. “I would though, and I won’t hesitate to if you ever lay a hand on her again.”
“You little brat.” Mr. Cross’s hand snatched out and grabbed Ben by the shirt.
Ben didn’t even flinch.
“Go ahead and hit me,” he suggested. “I’ll go to the police today, and you’ll never harm anyone again. Not me and not Allison.”
“They’d never believe you,” Mr. Cross shouted. “I’ll tell them that you hit her. How do you like that, you little faggot?”
“Not bad,” Ben shrugged. “I guess I would then tell the cops about all the times you made me suck you off.”
Mr. Cross let go of him instantly, as if he had just learned Ben had some horribly contagious disease.
“I never!” Mr. Cross spluttered. “You’re sick!”
“It doesn’t matter what you’ve actually done,” Ben said. “Society likes to believe the worst. They’ll eat the story up. The bigots and the homophobes will have a field day with it, but they’ll believe it in the end, so don’t try to threaten me.”
“Get out of my house, you little punk!”
“No. Not before I’ve had my say. Allison loves you, Mr. Cross. She would do anything to make you happy. I think you love her, too, but the way you try to protect her is doing more harm than good. You need to let her go. One more year and she’s going to be living on her own in a different city. You won’t be able to control her then. You can’t treat her like a bird in a cage. If you do, she’ll never come back to you once she’s free. She’ll be out of your life forever.”
Much to Ben’s amazement, Allison’s father seemed to be listening. The anger had drained from Mr. Cross face and he looked like he was about to cry. Ben had obviously hit upon his worst fears.
“I’m sorry you lost your wife, and I can’t even begin to imagine how much that must hurt, but you still have your daughter. She might be the only person left in the world who still loves you. If you destroy that, who will you be? What will be left of you then?”
Mr. Cross’s face crumpled as his tears began to flow.
Ben made his way to the front door, ignoring the sobbing behind him. “She’ll be home in a few hours,” he said. “Don’t screw it up.”
A block later and the adrenaline that had powered his confidence faded. Ben leaned against a tree, his hands and legs shaking. Had he really just said all that to Allison’s father? Had he made things worse or better? The man had been crying when he left! What if he killed himself or something? Ben second-guessed his actions all way home, sometimes feeling proud of himself, other times feeling like he should run back and apologize. But then, what difference would it make? In the end, all was said and done.
* * * * *
Allison wasn’t in school the next day, which was worrying. She had returned home yesterday, giving Ben a short call in the evening to say that she was all right, and that her father was upset but not at her. Ben thought everything was going to be okay, but now a number of terrifying scenarios were playing out in his mind. What if Mr. Cross had left the state with her? Even worse, maybe he had killed her before taking his own life.
As soon as he was home, Ben called but there was no answer. He kept trying every half hour until, a little past nine, Allison finally picked up the phone.
“Are you all right?” Ben stammered.
“Yeah.” There was a hesitation. “Great, actually. What did you say to my dad?”
“Why?”
“Well, he’s like a different person. He apologized to me all day yesterday, and today he took off work so we could have a father/daughter day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Allison laughed. “I’m even allowed to see you again!”
Ben wanted to cry in relief. “Did he say why?”
“Something about how protective you are of me, but he didn’t seem to want to talk about it. What did you say?”
Ben considered telling her everything, but ultimately decided to give her an edited version. He didn’t want her to think that her father’s actions were the result of blackmail. Ben didn’t want to believe that either. He liked to think that he had appealed to Mr. Cross’s heart and that everything would be fine from now on. That didn’t sound very realistic though. Ben would never be able to let his guard down again.
Chapter Twelve
A sea of green and red wrapping paper threatened to consume the living room as Ben and his sister tore into present after present, tossing paper and ribbons carelessly away to better see what Santa had brought them. Karen squealed over some designer purse, while Ben admired his new pocket watch.
The watch was silver with erratic maroon lines carved tastefully into its surface. He pressed the button on top and the watch face swung open to reveal the time, which was already correctly set at 6:34 a.m. This was their tardiest Christmas yet! Usually
Ben and his sister would wake their parents and be under the tree by five.
“You can use that watch to get home at a decent time,” his mother teased.
Ben smiled and thanked her before digging around for another present with his name on it. Not that he was lacking anything. He had gotten his PlayStation, even more games, new clothes, gift certificates, a couple of books, and a wallet. There was still more to be opened, though. His mother always went overboard when it came to Christmas.
Weeks of shopping and preparation was over in half an hour. Mr. Bentley went back to bed the second he was granted permission, and Karen scooped up her booty in her arms, taking it back to her room like a rat returning to its lair. Ben played the part of the good son and stayed to help his mom clean up the mess.
“We should probably start recycling,” Ben suggested as he surveyed the enormous amount of now-useless paper.
His mother didn’t hear him. Her lips were pursed and her forehead wrinkled in thought. “Think how much nicer it will be at home,” she said. “There’s plenty of food and we won’t get in your way.”
Ben didn’t need her to explain what she was talking about, since it had been the only topic between the two of them for the better part of a week. Tim’s parents were in the Pompanos for the holidays, leaving their son to fend for himself. Ben didn’t know how they could do that, but he was told this wasn’t the first Christmas they were absent for.
“You know why I want to go over there,” Ben said patiently. “It’s going to be romantic.”
“But I still don’t see why he can’t eat Christmas dinner with us,” his mom countered. “You two can go back to his place in the evening and have your time.”
Ben smiled and shook his head. How could he truthfully tell her that being around family was one of the biggest mood killers? As much as he loved them, it was hard to maintain an amorous state of mind when Grandpa was telling stories of his mall Santa days or while defending Tim from Karen’s constant teasing. Ben’s mom might be respectful and give them their space, but the others were oblivious to such social graces.
