I knew I was in trouble when I actually sent Matt a cute meme of a kitten playing a bass guitar.
Time to put the internet down and back slowly away.
I practically danced with relief when Elle arrived just after lunch.
I hugged her immediately.
Then I hugged Flynn, who looked both uncomfortable (for himself) and sympathetic (for me). He said something about going for a smoke, then disappeared out to the driveway.
“How’re you doing?” Elle asked me as soon as we were alone. Ronan had briefly come to check out who was here, then disappeared back into his room, where he was presumably working on security guy stuff. I’d let him know that Elle was coming over, so at least he didn’t give her the ice-cold stare down that Carissa had received.
“I’m doing my best to carry on with life as usual,” I told her as we headed to the kitchen. She sat at the bar while I put on coffee. “But nothing is usual about this.”
“I know, babe.”
“We’re waiting for the damn restraining order. I keep thinking I’ll feel better once I know it’s in place, but really, what’s the difference? Either way, if he shows up here again, I call the police. Or Ronan does. A piece of paper won’t keep him away.”
“It may. It makes the penalty to him a lot worse if he comes anywhere near you. Why would he risk that?”
“Why would he climb my house like cracked out Spider-Man in the first place?”
Elle scowled. “Cracked out?”
“Ronan said he had a pipe on him. He found it in the yard.” I hesitated, then added, “He offered meth to some of my girls, at my shows.”
Elle went silent, but her look of disgust and concern said it all. I hadn’t told her about that.
Maybe I should’ve. She would’ve pushed me to talk to Brody or Jude sooner, and maybe I would’ve listened, and none of this would’ve happened.
Who was I kidding. I wouldn’t have listened.
“What do you think he was planning to do if he got in the house?” I asked her.
“Maybe he thought you weren’t home,” she said firmly.
“Maybe. Or maybe he thought I was in bed and he was planning to let himself in. My car was in the garage. He could’ve seen it through the window.”
“Maybe you need to stop thinking about this.”
Yeah. Definitely.
Much easier said than done, though.
I didn’t want to ask myself the worst questions… Was he planning to rob me? Hurt me? Rape me?
Did he have any plan at all?
But all those questions just kept running through my mind, over and over again.
I kept reminding myself of what both Ronan and the police had told me.
He didn’t have a weapon on him.
But it didn’t make me feel much better.
In my opinion, a grown man coming through my bedroom window in the middle of the night was a weapon.
“People do crazy shit on drugs,” Elle said carefully, eyeing me with concern. “Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind. And maybe getting arrested and having a restraining order against him will be enough to scare him straight on this.”
“Maybe.” I leaned on the bar across from her as the coffee percolated, filling my kitchen with its comforting aroma. Right now, it was all about creature comforts and feeling good in my own home, which was also easier said than done. I felt like my house had been violated; like I’d been violated. Even though I knew it could’ve been so much worse.
Ronan was right. I needed security. I needed him.
Realistically, probably a long time ago.
“Fuck it,” I complained. “I just need this party. You sure you won’t come tonight?”
“I would. You know I would. But I need sleep. Seth gave me shit about that last night on the phone.”
“Really?” That was a new one. Seth never gave Elle shit.
“He’s worried about me. Emma is up so much in the night, and I’m not always napping to try to make up for it in the day.”
“Well, I like a good nap as much as the next kitten. And I don’t have a baby keeping me up. You must be tired as shit. Why are you here again?”
She laughed as I went to pour us both a coffee.
“Because I love you,” she said. “Dummy.”
“Oh, yeah.” I flashed her a brilliant smile. “So. Distract me. What’s new in the Dirty world?”
“Wish I knew. I feel so disconnected.”
“Really? But aren’t you talking to them like every other—”
My phone rang on the bar. Actually, it started playing Alien Ant Farm’s “Smooth Criminal.” Ash’s ringtone. Elle actually jumped when it started; it was jarring, as far as ringtones went.
“Jesus,” she said. “How does that not startle the shit out of you every time he calls?”
“It kinda does. I feel like it’s fitting? No conversation with Ash is ever non-startling.”
She shook her head. I danced to the song a bit, then picked up right before it cut off, putting the call on speaker. “Good afternoon! Summer’s condom emporium! Have you run out again?”
“Hey.” Ash chuckled a little. “What are you smoking today?”
“Red Carpet Kush.”
“Huh?”
“It’s a song by DJ Afterthought. What’re you smoking?”
“All kinds of shit, obviously.”
“Je-sus. What are you and Danica, like, holed up twenty-four-seven hotboxing your apartment and watching movies?”
“It’s a dream life. Hey, pay attention. I have news. Jesse Mayes just asked me to fill in for him on the Dirty tour.”
My mouth dropped open and my eyes locked with Elle’s. She sipped her coffee, cool as shit.
Which meant this was no surprise to her.
Jesse Mayes, her ex-boyfriend and bandmate, was Dirty’s lead guitarist…
“You’re playing guitar,” I said, in delighted shock, “with Dirty?”
“He’s coming off tour sometime in December for a few months,” Ash said. “You know, when Katie has the baby.”
“Shiiiit, bitch,” I said. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I’m fucking stoked. Jealous now?”
“No. My guitar playing is for shit, but I’m super fucking happy for you.” Ash was almost as good on guitar as he was on vocals, and he’d joined Dirty onstage before. His former band, the Penny Pushers, had toured with them for years.
But this was huge.
“Brody’s gonna talk to everyone,” he said. “Make the arrangements. But I couldn’t wait to tell you.”
“Can I tell Elle?” I grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes.
“Well, I know you’re gonna,” he said. “So go ahead.”
“I totally am.”
Silence. “Shit. Am I on speaker?”
“Hi, Ash,” Elle said.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “Hey, Elle.”
“So, you’re joining my band?” she said.
“Sounds that way.”
“Well, congrats. They’re pretty cool.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t get too comfortable,” I warned him. “June. The Players unite.”
“Like a band of superheroes,” Elle said, “but with mad musical skillz.”
“I know it,” Ash said. “Yo. Dylan’s calling. I gotta go. You guys do your… girl stuff. I’m out.”
“Later,” Elle said.
I hung up and stared at her. “‘Girl stuff’?”
She shrugged. “Get used to it. You’re the lone woman in a band of dudes now.”
“I thought that was a cool thing.”
“Cool…” she said. “Sure. Also annoying. Aggravating…”
“Great. Can’t wait.” I crossed my arms. “You knew about this already? Jesse asking Ash to fill in for him?”
“I talked to Brody last night. And Seth, of course. They said Jesse was gonna call Ash about it today.”
“Wow. I hope you know you guy
s’ve just made Ashley Player a very happy man. He’s been hurting since his band broke up. And I know he misses touring.”
Elle waved that off. “He deserves it. He probably has no idea how much Jesse and the guys respect him.”
“Aww,” I said.
“I’m serious. It’s not just Dylan.”
Dylan, Dirty’s drummer, was Ash’s best friend, and he’d definitely be happy about this. Elle was right, though; I knew her whole band respected Ash and probably missed him on this tour.
“Seth says Zane is stoked that Ash is coming out,” she told me. “They miss his energy. You know, Ash is always acting like such a badass, drinking his face off and pretending he’s too cool for everyone in the room. That whole ‘I don’t need any of you, I’ve got my own thing going on’ attitude he gives off. But the guys see through that. Better than I ever did, maybe.”
She was referring to the brief friends-with-benefits situation she’d had with Ash last year, when he fell for her and she kinda brushed him off. She never really wanted to believe that he was that serious about her, but I was pretty sure he would’ve at least tried to go the distance with her if she’d given him the chance.
“Maybe.” I definitely knew Ash’s edginess was half-genuine and half just for show. And he’d always admired Dylan’s band. “He’ll be thrilled to tour with Dirty for a few months. And best of all, he’ll come back off the road with all that gorgeous energy and confidence to pour into our band.”
“True. Shit, you guys are gonna rock. Should I be scared?”
I laughed. “Definitely.” I eyed her. “I mean, you can always join us if you want to… Maybe we could let Matt down easy?” I was thrilled that Matt Brohmer was joining us on bass, but let’s face it—if Elle said the word, I’d dump him and take her in a heartbeat.
I knew that was never happening, though.
“Thanks,” she said, sipping her coffee. “But I’ll stay where I am. It’s worked for me, and maybe I don’t always say it enough, but shit, I love those guys.” She actually got a little teary eyed, and for Elle, that was incredibly rare.
“Babe… are you crying?” I threw my arm around her, pulling her against me. “What the hell? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just miss Seth.”
“Oh, sweetie.” I gave her a hug.
“Thanks,” she said, and wiped at her eyes. “I just lied. I miss them all. Like crazy.”
“Of course you do.”
“It’s weird. I’ve been playing with Dylan since we were teenagers. We were always close, you know? He respected me from day one. He always looked out for me, and he wouldn’t let anyone push me around when we played with other guys. We met Brody one night at this bar show we were doing, and he told us about Jesse and Zane and the band they were putting together, asked us to come audition for them. And afterward, Dylan sat me down and basically gave me a speech about how talented I was, and that if we walked into that room and they didn’t respect me or what I could do because I was a girl, we were walking right back out, both of us. He always had my back like that.”
“Of course he did,” I said simply. “You rock.”
She smiled a little. “And Zane… he just always loved having me around, and he never held back on saying so. We butted heads and bickered, but then he’d have these orgasmic meltdowns about how talented I was, and he was always so good to me. He once punched this huge guy at a party who was rude to me, just like that. I have all these memories of them, the good, the bad, the ugly… the fucking crazy… But they’re my brothers, you know? We played together and toured the world for over a decade. They’re my family and I just never knew how hard it would be to be away from them.”
“And… there’s Jesse,” I said. Because she didn’t say anything about him.
“Yeah. There’s Jesse. I miss him, too. I hate admitting that. I’m not in love with him anymore. I’m so in love with Seth, my heart skips beats when I see his name pop up on my phone. When I answer and he’s all, ‘Hey, babe,’ and I can hear how much he misses me, I fucking fall apart. We had the hottest phone sex last night. The shit he says to me… I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.”
“Yum.”
“I know.” She sighed. “And I love seeing his face when I look at our daughter. The man just makes me swoon. I don’t have those feelings for Jesse anymore. They’re dead and gone and I’m glad. But I do miss his energy. I miss working with him. I miss touring together, all of us, and that magic we have together as a band.” She groaned. “Ugh. I’m so jealous of Matt right now! Fuck, I’ve wanted to say that out loud for so long.”
“Elle. You know you can tell me anything. And fuck yes, I understand why you’re jealous of Matt. He’s playing in your spot, with your band. Just like I’m jealous of Dirty right now, because they’ve got my bassist. Matt is supposed to be mine, and they’re hogging his ass.”
She laughed.
“And right now,” I went on, “believe me, it’s good to hear about what’s going on in someone else’s life. My head is rammed so far up my own shit right now, I need a distraction. Tell me all.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. This is petty stuff. I’ll be reunited with Dirty soon enough.”
“And they’re dying to have you back, babe. I know they are. They’ll have fun with Matt and Ash on the road. But then they’ll come off tour and get into the studio with you, all of you together again, and the magic will be in that room with the five of you.”
“You’re right. I know it. I can’t believe I’m moaning about this when you’re dealing with a real crisis.”
“What crisis?” A deep voice spoke behind me; Ronan had walked into the living room.
“Nothing,” I said quickly. Because there was no crisis.
I absolutely refused to let it become one.
“We were just talking about the restraining order,” Elle said. I gave her a sharp look and she ignored me. “Do you think it will come through soon?”
“It should,” Ronan said. “It’s a multi-step process, but I have a guy in the Attorney General’s office doing his best to expedite things.” He glanced at me, like he was checking if it was okay that he shared this information with Elle.
I nodded.
He wandered over to us. “The police officer Summer spoke with over the phone yesterday was here at the scene of the attempted break-in, so she’s familiar with the situation, which helped. She submitted a report to the Attorney General’s office,” he explained, just like he’d explained to me yesterday, “and they’ve already told us that a judge will likely order the restraining order, which is what we want to hear. The officer will need to swear before the judge that she believes a peace bond is required. They’re trying to push things through, so that should happen in the next few days. Then the judge will issue a summons for the suspect to appear in court, to respond to the peace bond application. Ideally, he agrees to it and we’re done.”
“Do you think he’ll agree to it?” Elle asked, glancing at me.
“I do,” Ronan said. “Mind if I grab a coffee? Smelled it from my room.”
“Help yourself,” I said, happy to change the subject, and he went to get a mug. He already knew where all the basics were kept. He looked quite at home in my kitchen, a fact that Elle seemed to notice, as she watched him fix himself a coffee with a generous heap of sugar—or three. “He likes his sugar with coffee and cream,” I muttered.
Ronan looked up. “What?”
“It’s a reference to a Beastie Boys song,” Elle informed him, never missing a beat. I smiled as I sipped my coffee.
He went back to stirring his.
Elle’s eyes met mine, one of her slender, arched eyebrows peaking.
“Fuck off,” I hiss-whispered at her behind my mug.
She grinned.
“I’ll leave you to it,” Ronan said, then headed back to his room. I watched him cross the living room and disappear down the hall, admiring his broad, muscular body under the thin sweater and snug jeans.
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I actually bit my lip.
Elle poked my shoulder.
“What?” I snapped, turning back to her. “Don’t be a bitch. He’s hot. I know.”
“Oh, good. Then you’re not gonna pretend you didn’t notice.”
“No, I’m not.”
“So?” she prodded.
“So what?”
“Well, you seem to know how he likes his coffee. Is that symbolic?”
“Of what?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of you two already sleeping together.”
“No. It’s not.”
“Hmm. Last I heard you seemed to have quite a thing for bodyguards.”
Now I rolled my eyes. “I told you. My misguided little crush on Flynn is over.”
“Is it?”
“Yes. I don’t think I was really even into him.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“I mean, maybe we’d have some halfway hot but awkward sex. What the hell would we talk about? We don’t have chemistry. Anyway, hard to have chemistry with a man who’s heart belongs to someone else.”
“Right. How’s the matchmaking going? Did you figure out who the lucky girl is yet?”
“Well, I’ve been a little preoccupied with other things—”
“I noticed.”
“I meant, the creep almost breaking into my house and the impending restraining order?”
“Right.”
“But I’ll figure it out. I love a challenge.”
“I know you do. How much of a challenge do you think Mr. Sterling will present?”
I sighed with lustful frustration. “I don’t know. I’m really not in the mood to chase a man right now.”
“What if he decides to chase you?”
“He’s my bodyguard. Seems pretty clear that’s not happening.” I hesitated, then admitted, “He politely asked me not to flirt with him.”
Yeah, Elle fucking loved that one. A huge grin spread across her face.
“Stop smiling.”
“Oh, he gets my vote,” she said. “Maybe when this whole mess is dealt with and he’s not your bodyguard anymore, you can revisit the idea?”
Well, shit. I did not like the sound of that. At all.
Ronan, not my bodyguard. Not living in my house. Not helping himself to coffee from my kitchen.
Sweet Temptation: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players, Book 3) Page 16