“Which I plan on enjoying more than you do, probably. And those are just silly gifts. Your real gift can wait.” I gave him a lingering, hot kiss. “I’m trying to exercise patience and restraint.” Actually, I was trying to tease him, and it was working. “It’s something you’ve inspired me to do, sweetie.”
For some reason, he didn’t seem happy about that.
I taped Xander’s tag to his gift, then turned on my heel and sauntered away. “Make us those drinks, would you?”
“Where’re you going?” Ronan asked behind me, his voice gruff from that kiss.
“To put on the hottest Christmas party outfit you’ve ever seen.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Summer
I was in my bathroom upstairs, half-dressed and putting the final touches on my makeup, when Ronan walked in.
I’d already slipped into my short black skirt with all the ruffled layers of satin-trimmed organza. On top, I wore a black satin bustier that pushed up my breasts. I’d be slipping the blood-red velvet corset overtop before we left, and I’d be asking him to help lace me into it.
The outfit was by Devoid, and he’d really outdone himself.
“Wow.”
I glanced over my shoulder. Ronan stood behind me, a lime margarita in each hand, drinking me in.
“Thank you,” I teased. Then I went back to dusting powder with a subtle glitter over my cleavage.
He slid up behind me, placing one of the drinks in front of me on the counter. “For you,” he said, and kissed my neck.
I picked it up and took a sip. “Mmm. You are getting better at these.”
“Thank you.” He took a sip of his own. Then he set his drink down and reached to pull something from his back pocket. He slipped a hand around my waist.
He was holding the gold-papered gift.
“Open it,” he whispered, his breath on my ear. His stubble brushed my neck, sending a shiver of pure lust through me.
I met his eyes in the mirror. I wasn’t sure what this was about, but I set my brush down.
“Well… if you insist.” I took the gift and turned to him, a happy flutter in my chest. And while I was unwrapping it… he sank down in front of me.
He was down on one knee.
And suddenly I realized what this was about.
“Oh… my… God,” I gasped. “How could you do this to me?”
Ronan looked alarmed. He actually looked around, confused. “What…?”
I stared at him, agape, the unwrapped box that I refused to open still in my hand. “I got you a scarf,” I blurted. “It’s silk. It’ll go nice with your leather jackets, when we go out and stuff. It’s red. You always wear black and gray, but you’d look great in red…” I felt dazed.
Confused.
Ronan seemed to recover before I did. He slid his hands around my waist and gave me a squeeze.
“Just open it, Summer.”
Okay. Maybe I was overreacting?
He seemed calm.
Wouldn’t he be sweating bullets right now if this was what I thought it might be?
I glanced at the gift in my hand. Maybe it wasn’t an engagement ring with a giant diamond on it. Maybe it was something else.
Maybe there was another reason my boyfriend was down on one knee in front of me.
Like… a sex reason?
Maybe it was a cute little vibrator. Or a fancy butt plug…
Made by an amazing local jewelry designer that I happened to love.
Oh, Christ. I could see the logo on the side of the box, and my heart pounded in my chest.
This was it.
This was one of the hugest, most beautiful moments of my life playing out… with a man I freaking adored, on his knee in front of me, in a Christmas sweater he’d worn just to make me happy.
I blinked, fighting back tears.
He smiled at me a little.
I slid the lid off the box. Inside was a definite ring box. It was velvety and light gray.
Maybe it was a cock ring?
I swallowed as I took the ring box out, and I opened it.
It wasn’t a cock ring.
It was an engagement ring with a giant diamond on it.
And with it… there was a second ring. My ring. The diamond ring my dad gave me when I turned eighteen.
I looked at Ronan, swallowing. I could hardly find words. “My dad’s ring… How did you get my dad’s ring back?”
“I have my ways,” he said mysteriously. His eyes were kinda shining as he observed my reaction. And if I wasn’t careful, I was gonna cry like a baby.
“You said you didn’t like over-the-top gifts and I bought you a scarf…” That was all that came out of my mouth. “And trashy underwear and tequila.”
“And a Christmas sweater.” He smiled at me again, and I just about fell to my knees in front of him. “This isn’t over-the-top,” he said simply. “I want you to be my wife, Summer.”
“Really?” I sniffled back the tears.
He chuckled a little. “Can I get up? This is in no way comfortable. I probably shouldn’t have done it in the bathroom…”
“Get up,” I practically sobbed.
So he got up off the hard floor. He slipped his arms around me and leaned in, slowly, to kiss me. He was absolutely glowing and I hadn’t even said yes yet.
But…
“I can’t say yes to this, Ronan.”
He froze, his face falling. “What?”
“I mean… not yet.”
He drew back, searching my face. Then he watched as I put the rings, still in the box, aside on the counter.
“Can we put a pause on this?” I asked him. “For just a moment?”
He studied my face. “Why?”
“Because I need you to come clean first.”
His face gave away nothing, but I could feel him tense. “About what?”
“Ronan,” I said. “Are we really gonna keep pretending that you’ve told me all I need to know?”
“Summer…” He paled a little, looking… panicked? “I’m so sorry. Shit. I should’ve told you I had your dad’s ring back sooner. Piper and his guys got it back for me. I had it a while ago, baby. But I wanted this to be so special. And then it took a while to get the other ring made—”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not what I’m talking about, Ronan. I’m thrilled you got my ring back.”
He stared at me for a long moment. Then he said, “Come here.” He took the ring box off the counter and he took my hand. He led me into the bedroom, over to the bed, where he sat us down. He looked into my eyes and said, “I’ll tell you anything, Summer.”
“Right. Except about your past.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, carefully, but I could feel the stiffness in his body. He was on-guard, and I didn’t like it.
“I don’t like secrets, Ronan,” I told him. “Not where our relationship is concerned. You know that. And I feel like there’s a big one in your past.”
He said nothing, and I went on.
“At the Halloween party, I would swear on my mother’s life—on both my mothers’ lives—that I heard Piper say something to you to the effect of, ‘Say hi to the wife.’”
“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “That.”
“Yeah. That. So I keep waiting for some explanation, for our relationship to reach the point where you trust me enough to be open with me about who you are. About everything you are. But you just proposed to me, so it seems that explanation is not coming. So I’m just gonna ask you. Did he mean your wife? Because that’s sure as hell what it sounded like to me.”
He shook his head, slowly. “You can’t seriously think I’m married and I didn’t tell you.”
“No. But that comment came out of somewhere.”
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Piper and I went to high school together. I’m pretty sure that comment came out of a lingering annoyance that I once stole his prom date.”
I considered that, perking up
a bit. “Did you really?”
“Yes.”
“That’s fucking amazing.”
“It kind of was.”
“So… this is the woman he referred to as your wife?”
He rubbed his hand over his face again.
“Ronan…”
“We got married. Right out of high school.”
I blinked at him. “So, why didn’t you just tell me this?”
“Because… it’s a long and sordid story.”
“Good. Tell me all of it.”
“Good? What do you mean good?”
“I mean, good. We both have a past. I’ve told you more than you probably ever wanted to hear about my past loves, heartbreaks… catching my boyfriend snorting coke out of another woman’s ass crack…”
He frowned. Okay, so maybe I hadn’t gotten that… detailed... about that particular piece of my history before.
But oh well.
“I swear to you,” I said, “I would tell you anything from my past that you wanted to know about, Ronan. Anything.”
“You’re right,” he said. “I need to tell you about this. But… are you sure you really want to hear it right now?” He eyed the ring box that he’d brought with us and set on the bed beside me.
“That’s just on pause,” I said. “So you can tell me this. You have to know by now that there’s no way I’d agree to marry a man who wouldn’t first tell me about his previous wife.”
“Shit. You’re right. I fucked this up.”
“You did not.”
“I should’ve told you sooner. I guess I thought we’d get engaged and have that fairytale ending you dreamed of, and one day I’d just casually slip it in or something… and at that point it wouldn’t matter anymore.”
“Are you kidding me?”
He looked kinda pale again. “I’m not. But I just heard myself say it and I can’t believe you’d even consider marrying me now.”
“Ronan. You’re proposing. Don’t fuck this up.”
He took a breath and blew it out. “I’m really trying not to.”
“Then tell me about this bitch you were married to.”
He smirked. “How did you know she was a bitch?”
I sighed. “Because if this was a she’s-a-great-person-but-we-just-grew-apart situation, I’m pretty sure you would’ve at least mentioned her existence in passing by now.”
“Yeah. That’s true. And I’m not saying she’s not a good person…”
“But…?”
“But, it’s complicated.”
“Life is complicated,” I said, patiently, like I had all fucking night for this shit. I wasn’t exactly the most patient person, so he knew I was serious about this.
He sighed again. It was actually more of a growl of frustration. “Okay. Keep in mind I’d just turned nineteen.”
“Okay…”
“I’d known her since I was twelve, but we didn’t date until high school, on and off. In retrospect, I think she pretty much started dating me to avoid Piper.”
“She didn’t like him?”
“Who knows. I never could quite figure that part out.”
“Go on.”
“So… we were newly married. And as it turned out, she was pretty adventurous. In the bedroom. Or so I thought… It was her idea to bring another woman into our bed.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“I know. I was young. I mean, I was still a teenager. I wasn’t gonna turn down that opportunity. So we messed around with a friend of hers a few times. Then I pulled the classic came-home-early-from-work one day, unawares—”
“Oh, Ronan.”
“Yeah. My life’s a cliche.”
“She was in bed with the other woman? Without you.”
“Oh, yeah. I walked right in on them.”
“And?”
“And she told me she was in love with this woman. She was really upset. We’d been friends a long time, but I never saw it coming. Like I said, I was young. She told me she was afraid to come out to her family, and she begged me not to tell anyone and not to divorce her. So, I didn’t.”
“Whoa.” I studied him. “Wait a sec. You’re not telling me you’re still married to this woman, are you?”
“Actually…”
“Ronan! Fuck, no.”
“No. We, uh, finally got a divorce… last year.”
“Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately.”
I took a moment, just letting this sink in. And trying to reconcile this information with all the things I knew about the man in front of me. The man who’d just asked me to marry him.
His protective nature.
The sacrifices he’d made, historically, for other people, often at a high cost to his own comfort.
The big, soft heart he’d tried to lock away under a layer of icy control…
But even then. Compassion and self-sacrifice had limits, didn’t they?
“You stayed married to someone for fifteen years,” I said slowly, “because she didn’t want to tell her family she was gay?”
“Uh, fourteen and a bit, technically. And she told them a few years ago. I mean, maybe they knew by then. We were legally separated the whole time. But when you say it like that… it does sound a bit extreme.”
“Kinda. You really care about her, I’m guessing?”
“I cared about her like I’d care about a friend who needed my help. Over the years, that was all our relationship was about. It was one-sided. She needed me, and I did what I could. She never offered anything in return. I barely saw her.”
“She used you,” I concluded.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “She did. And I let her. And just like the other times I let people use me… that’s probably the part that still bothers me the most.”
Yeah; I could feel the weight of that. It was heavy on him. His one greatest vulnerability…
The man was a protector, almost to a fault.
He’d done what she’d asked of him, to protect her, no matter how it inconvenienced him or even hurt him. I could see it—it did hurt him. It hurt to be used.
It hurt his pride and it probably hurt his faith in humanity. His belief that there were people who would truly love him without trying to take advantage of his innate goodness. His selflessness.
“You’re amazing, Ronan,” I told him.
“Don’t feel so amazing right now,” he confessed. “I feel like I’m fucking up the most romantic moment of your life.”
“You’re not.”
“I wish I’d told you sooner.”
“Just tell me now, so I can understand. You never felt the need to divorce her ass, so the awkward I’m-married-to-a-lesbian conversation didn’t have to come up on dates?”
“Well, I pretty much avoided that conversation on dates.”
“You don’t say.”
“The thing is… I just never got anywhere close enough in another relationship to even consider getting married again, so it never seemed urgent to press her for a divorce.”
“Until last year?”
“She asked me for a divorce last year. She met someone, and they wanted to get married.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“Please tell me you didn’t go to the wedding.”
“I didn’t. I don’t hold a grudge. But I didn’t go.”
“Glad to hear it. On both counts.”
He took both of my hands in his. “I’m not angry about any of that, Summer. There was a time, sure. But that’s history. I’m not heartbroken, either. I married her when I was too young to know who I was and what I needed. I know who I am now.”
“Good.”
“And the man I am is fucking crazy about you. That was obvious to me, right from the start. I didn’t even have a chance.”
I couldn’t help it; I grinned.
“I’ve never doubted that I could love you,” he went on. “The only doubt I ever had was about whether or not I could do my job
and be in love with you at the same time.”
“Of course you can,” I said. “You’re doing it right now.”
“Fuck, I love you.”
He leaned in and kissed me. And when he deepened the kiss, I could’ve lost myself in it…
But I pulled away, grinning. “So. Now I know you were once married to a lesbian…”
He groaned.
“Though I suppose that’s off-limits for casual cocktail party conversation?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“But if we do this… maybe we could tell all our friends tonight that we got engaged?” I inquired.
“Yeah. We’ll tell them together.”
“And your uncle… we should call him first thing tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
“What about your parents?” I’d met Uncle Rob, but I still hadn’t met his mom and dad.
He considered that. “You know, when I got engaged the first time, I told my parents first, thinking they might actually be proud of me.”
“Wrong?”
“My dad said literally nothing except, ‘I’m not paying for any fancy wedding.’ Which was why we ended up eloping. My mom’s exact words, after I told her I’d gone ahead and gotten married, were, ‘I never liked that girl.’ Pretty much the same thing she said when I told her we’d separated.”
“Your parents sound super supportive.”
“They’re not like yours, that’s for sure.”
“Then we could elope? We’ll go somewhere amazing. And we can avoid all the family politics.”
“I would, in a heartbeat,” he said, “but if I start off my marriage to Gunnar Sorensen’s daughter by depriving him of the right to walk her down the aisle, that’s gonna be a major mistake.”
I smiled. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I respect your parents too much to do that to them. We’ll have whatever wedding you want, and we’ll do it right. We’ll invite both our families… for better or worse, right?”
“Right… But you need to know,” I informed him, “if we do this, I want a giant, lavish wedding. Or to elope. It’s one or the other. I don’t do things halfway. Oh my God.” I gasped. “Think about all the parties. Engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception…”
Sweet Temptation: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players, Book 3) Page 48
