Witches' Cat: Witch Cozy Mystery (Witches and Wine Book 7)

by Morgana Best

  Witches’ Cat

  Witches and Wine Book 7

  Morgana Best

  Witches’ Cat

  Witches and Wine, Book 7

  Copyright © 2020 by Morgana Best

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  This book may contain references to specific commercial products, process or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and/or trade names of products, which are trademarks or registered trademarks and/or trade names, and these are property of their respective owners. Morgana Best or her associates, have no association with any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and / or trade names of products.

  By this act

  And words of rhyme

  Trouble not

  These books of mine

  With these words I now thee render

  Candle burn and bad return

  3 Times stronger to its sender.

  (Ancient Celtic)

  Contents

  Glossary

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Connect with Morgana

  Also by Morgana Best

  About Morgana Best

  Glossary

  Some Australian spellings and expressions are entirely different from US spellings and expressions. Below are just a few examples. It would take an entire book to list all the differences.

  The author has used Australian spelling in this series. Here are a few examples: Mum instead of the US spelling Mom, neighbour instead of the US spelling neighbor, realise instead of the US spelling realize. It is Ms, Mr and Mrs in Australia, not Ms., Mr. and Mrs.; defence not defense; judgement not judgment; cosy and not cozy; 1930s not 1930’s; offence not offense; centre not center; towards not toward; jewellery not jewelry; favour not favor; mould not mold; two storey house not two story house; practise (verb) not practice (verb); odour not odor; smelt not smelled; travelling not traveling; liquorice not licorice; cheque not check; leant not leaned; have concussion not have a concussion; anti clockwise not counterclockwise; go to hospital not go to the hospital; sceptic not skeptic; aluminium not aluminum; learnt not learned. We have fancy dress parties not costume parties. We don’t say gotten. We say car crash (or accident) not car wreck. We say a herb not an herb as we produce the ‘h.’

  The above are just a few examples.

  It’s not just different words; Aussies sometimes use different expressions in sentence structure. We might eat a curry not eat curry. We might say in the main street not on the main street. Someone might be going well instead of doing well. We might say without drawing breath not without drawing a breath.

  These are just some of the differences.

  Please note that these are not mistakes or typos, but correct, normal Aussie spelling, terms, and syntax.

  AUSTRALIAN SLANG AND TERMS

  Benchtops - counter tops (kitchen)

  Big Smoke - a city

  Blighter - infuriating or good-for-nothing person

  Blimey! - an expression of surprise

  Bloke - a man (usually used in nice sense, “a good bloke”)

  Blue (noun) - an argument (“to have a blue”)

  Bluestone - copper sulphate (copper sulfate in US spelling)

  Bluo - a blue laundry additive, an optical brightener

  Boot (car) - trunk (car)

  Bonnet (car) - hood (car)

  Bore - a drilled water well

  Budgie smugglers (variant: budgy smugglers) - named after the Aussie native bird, the budgerigar. A slang term for brief and tight-fitting men’s swimwear

  Bugger! - as an expression of surprise, not a swear word

  Bugger - as in “the poor bugger” - refers to an unfortunate person (not a swear word)

  Bunging it on - faking something, pretending

  Bush telegraph - the grapevine, the way news spreads by word of mouth in the country

  Car park - parking lot

  Cark it - die

  Chooks - chickens

  Come good - turn out okay

  Copper, cop - police officer

  Coot - silly or annoying person

  Cream bun - a sweet bread roll with copious amounts of cream, plus jam (= jelly in US) in the centre

  Crook - 1. “Go crook (on someone)” - to berate them. 2. (someone is) crook - (someone is) ill. 3. Crook (noun) - a criminal

  Demister (in car) - defroster

  Drongo - an idiot

  Dunny - an outhouse, a toilet, often ramshackle

  Fair crack of the whip - a request to be fair, reasonable, just

  Flannelette (fabric) - cotton, wool, or synthetic fabric, one side of which has a soft finish.

  Flat out like a lizard drinking water - very busy

  Galah - an idiot

  Garbage - trash

  G’day - Hello

  Give a lift (to someone) - give a ride (to someone)

  Goosebumps - goose pimples

  Gumboots - rubber boots, wellingtons

  Knickers - women’s underwear

  Laundry (referring to the room) - laundry room

  Lamingtons - iconic Aussie cakes, square, sponge, chocolate-dipped, and coated with desiccated coconut. Some have a layer of cream and strawberry jam (= jelly in US) between the two halves.

  Lift - elevator

  Like a stunned mullet - very surprised

  Mad as a cut snake - either insane or very angry

  Mallee bull (as fit as, as mad as) - angry and/or fit, robust, super strong.

  Miles - while Australians have kilometres these days, it is common to use expressions such as, “The road stretched for miles,” “It was miles away.”

  Moleskins - woven heavy cotton fabric with suede-like finish, commonly used as working wear, or as town clothes

  Mow (grass / lawn) - cut (grass / lawn)

  Neenish tarts - Aussie tart. Pastry base. Filling is based on sweetened condensed milk mixture or mock cream. Some have layer of raspberry jam (jam = jelly in US). Topping is in two equal halves: icing (= frosting in US), usually chocolate on one side, and either lemon or pink or the other.

  Pub - The pub at the south of a small town is often referred to as the ‘bottom pub’ and the pub at the north end of town, the ‘top pub.’ The size of a small town is often judged by the number of pubs - i.e. “It’s a three pub town.”

  Red cattle dog - (variant: blue cattle dog usually known as a ‘blue dog’) - referring to the breed of Australian Cattle Dog. However, a ‘red dog’ is usually a red kelpie (another breed of dog)

  Shoot through - leave

  Sh
out (a drink) - to buy a drink for someone

  Skull (a drink) - drink a whole drink without stopping

  Stone the crows! - an expression of surprise

  Takeaway (food) - Take Out (food)

  Toilet - also refers to the room if it is separate from the bathroom

  Torch - flashlight

  Tuck in (to food) - to eat food hungrily

  Ute /Utility - pickup truck

  Vegemite - Australian food spread, thick, dark brown

  Wardrobe - closet

  Windscreen - windshield

  Indigenous References

  Bush tucker - food that occurs in the Australian bush

  Koori - the original inhabitants/traditional custodians of the land of Australia in the part of NSW in which this book is set. Murri are the people just to the north. White European culture often uses the term, Aboriginal people.

  Chapter 1

  “His name is Cary,” Aunt Maude said as she held up the small Dachshund. “After Cary Grant.”

  Aunt Agnes, Aunt Dorothy, and I exchanged glances, but Maude did not seem to notice. She was too taken with Cary, who was nuzzling her with his damp little nose.

  “He’s a sausage dog,” I said, confused. I wondered what Breena, the shifter cat, would think of him. I opened my mouth to voice my concern, but Agnes and Maude shook their heads.

  “A sausage dog named Cary,” Maude repeated. “He’s a rescue. I just bought him from the shelter.”

  “We can talk about Maude’s new dog later, Valkyrie,” Aunt Maude whispered. “Maude has a date tonight.”

  “I have a date too,” I replied, “with Lucas. I’m going to head to my cottage to check my make-up again.”

  Maude shook her head. “You can’t go just yet. You have to stay with my sisters and see if this man is suitable. He’s quite a bit younger than I am.”

  “How much younger?”

  “He’s eighty-five.”

  “Straight out of college then,” I said, which earned me a jab in the ribs from Agnes’s elbow. “What’s the guy’s name, and is he allergic to dogs, seeing as we apparently have a dog now?”

  “His name is Pillsbury,” Maude said, and she blushed a little. “He’s—well, he still has all his hair.”

  “So does my date,” I said as I tried to step from the room.

  Agnes blocked my exit. “Valkyrie, please stay to give your opinion on Maude’s date.”

  “He’s coming here,” Maude replied.

  “Don’t tell me we have two new rescues instead of one.”

  “He’s staying for dinner, Valkyrie. Not forever.”

  “Of course, I support you, Aunt Maude. I just wish I could support you tomorrow. I don’t have much time left with Lucas until he needs to leave the country.”

  “You don’t have to stay the whole time, Valkyrie, just long enough to give me your impression.”

  So the aunts stood by the living room window, waiting for Pillsbury to appear. Cary lay on the antique chaise, dreaming his little Dachshund dreams. He didn’t even stir when Pillsbury’s car pulled up, and a little old man sprang from the driver’s seat, dressed in a suit that was perhaps popular in the seventies. He was wearing bell-bottoms and all.

  I watched with growing intrigue as Pillsbury skipped down the driveway, a bouquet of daisies held firm in his right hand. With his left hand, he rang the doorbell.

  Maude hissed at us to get away from the window. “Wait until I’m upstairs,” she instructed, “and then open the door.”

  “But he’s your date,” Dorothy protested. “Don’t you want to say hello?”

  “I will say hello, but only after I have descended the stairs like an elegant woman.”

  Rolling her eyes, Dorothy waited for Maude to scurry up the stairs, and then she opened the door. “Hello, you must be Pillsbury. Maude is expecting you. My name is Dorothy.”

  “Enchanted,” Pillsbury said, and he kissed Dorothy’s hand.

  Agnes stepped forward. “I’m Agnes. Maude is our sister. And this is Valkyrie, our niece.”

  “Surely neither of you are old enough to have a grown-up niece,” Pillsbury said.

  Agnes and Dorothy giggled. I did my best not to groan.

  I was getting ready to make my escape, but Pillsbury and Agnes pulled me into the kitchen. It turned out that Pillsbury and Maude planned to have their date at home, and as Pillsbury was going to cook for her, he needed help in the kitchen. He put a link of sausages on the kitchen counter.

  “You ladies wouldn’t happen to have any alcohol, would you?” Pillsbury said, looking at us hopefully. “I don’t mean wine; I mean alcohol to start fires. I spent a lot of years as a stockman, so I’m more used to cooking over a campfire.”

  “Err, not really,” I replied, confused. “I think we do have some rubbing alcohol.” I looked under the kitchen sink and found some.

  Pillsbury nodded happily. “Perfect. Hand me the bottle.”

  With a swoop of fear in my stomach, I handed Pillsbury the bottle of rubbing alcohol. I stood back as Pillsbury put one of the sausages on a plate, dosed it in rubbing alcohol, and set it on fire.

  It was at this time Dorothy entered the room, still not wearing her glasses, asking if anyone had seen the sausage dog, Cary, who seemed to have disappeared. She took one look at the sausage engulfed with flames and started to scream.

  “It’s just a sausage, Aunt Dorothy,” I said.

  “His name,” Dorothy replied, “is Cary!”

  She threw herself onto the kitchen counter, putting out the flames with her rather large bosom, which then caught fire. Pillsbury managed to put out these flames with his hands, which gave Maude quite a big shock when she walked into the kitchen.

  “The fire was too large to ignore,” Pillsbury said to Maude, who raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes, I am well acquainted with temptation, Pillsbury. I was once young myself, you know. But cheating on me before we are even together with my sister and in front of our niece is an absolutely horrific thing to do.”

  “Aunt Maude,” I said then, “you’ve got Cary.”

  Indeed, the sausage dog was snuggled up in Maude’s arms, wagging his little tail. “Yes,” Maude replied, “I took him outside so he could do his business with some dignity. Not that any of you would know about dignity.”

  “Pillsbury set fire to his sausage,” Dorothy snapped. She did not know how to explain herself well, and she seemed offended that Maude could ever imagine she would make a move on one of her sister’s gentlemen callers.

  “That is quite enough of that,” Pillsbury cried softly. “There is nothing wrong with my sausage.”

  “Oh, for goodness’ sake!” I exclaimed. “Dorothy was not wearing her glasses and thought Pillsbury had set fire to Cary. She threw herself onto the sausage, putting out the fire with her bosom. Her bosom then caught on fire, and Pillsbury had to put it out with hands. See, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this madness.”

  “Perfectly reasonable are not the words I would use,” Maude said as she placed Cary on the ground. He didn’t seem the least bit interested in the drama.

  I dusted my hands. “Right. I have a hot date with Lucas. Goodbye.”

  I hurried back to the cottage as the smell of burnt sausage was clinging to my silk dress. I would have to change now after Pillsbury’s little act with the sausage and the rubbing alcohol. Where did my aunts find these men? Actually, I did not want to know.

  I slipped out of my dress before rummaging through the pile of laundry on my floor. It was clean laundry, pulled off my bed the night before because I could not be bothered sorting and folding and putting everything away. I tied on a halter-top dress, the kind which was popular in the nineties and was popular again now, and ran to the front door when I heard the knock.

  It was Lucas. He was tall, dark, and late. “Did you try to cook me dinner?”

  “Pillsbury set fire to his sausage.”

  “Do I even want to know what that means?”

&nb
sp; I laughed. “It means exactly what it says on the tin. Are we ready to go?”

  “Don’t you want to grab a jacket?” Lucas said. He was wearing a black jacket, and I thought he looked very dashing indeed.

  “If I wear a jacket, then I can’t wear your jacket.”

  “Are you going to wear my jacket?”

  “Of course,” I said, “because I am going to pretend I am very cold.”

  “Fair enough.” Lucas placed his jacket over my shoulders now, perhaps to save time, and he led me with a firm hand on my back to his car.

  It didn’t take long for us to arrive at the restaurant, which was part of a lighthouse on a cliff. Because the lighthouse only had so much room, the restaurant was booked weeks in advance. I wondered how Lucas had even managed to wrangle a reservation, as the lighthouse restaurant was exclusive.

  We ordered our main meals. Lucas wanted a sand crab lasagne, which consisted of local sand crab finished with seafood bisque, while I ordered Pad Thai with peanuts and basil.

  Lucas was clearly excited to bring me here on such a romantic date. “Should we pretend I don’t have to leave?” Lucas said in hushed tones before taking a sip of wine.

  “Let’s pretend you don’t have to leave,” I said, “just for a little bit, at least. Should I tell you about the Dachshund disaster I experienced tonight? Maude is currently on a terrible first date.”

  “I love terrible first date stories,” Lucas said. “I have about a million. What about you?”

  “All forgotten now,” I said, and I felt a swoop of utter delight. I would never have to go on another tragic first date again.

  After dinner, Lucas ordered the fruit plate for two. That was literally its name: The Fruit Plate For Two. I remembered all those years when I would see couples looking beautiful and sweet in a restaurant and fell a pang of jealousy that I was alone. Well, I wasn’t alone now. I had Lucas.