Stephanie clapped her hands. “You look gorgeous!”
“I do?” I stepped in front of the mirror. I couldn’t even bring myself to smile.
“What’s wrong, Samantha?” Gail stepped up beside me.
“It just looks different.” I stared at the dress in the mirror.
“I only let it out a little.” Gail frowned. “Nothing else has changed about the dress.”
I looked over at Stephanie and shook my head. “I think I just need to get a different dress.”
“Are you kidding?” Stephanie’s eyes widened. “You’re in love with this dress.”
“I guess it just doesn’t look the way I expected it to. I just don’t think—with my weight—it works.”
“It’s very close to the wedding to consider a change like that.” Gail shook her head. “Samantha, it’s almost the exact same size that it was.”
“But it’s not right.” I turned away from the mirror. “This is horrible. Everything is going wrong.”
“What’s going wrong?” Stephanie frowned. “You and Max are happy. You found a beautiful place for the wedding. You have a great wedding planner.”
“But we’ve been fighting and distant with one another, and the wedding was supposed to be at the chapel, and I was the one who was supposed to plan the wedding, and my dress was supposed to fit!” Tears sprang to my eyes and I tried to catch my breath. I couldn’t stop the panic that seized me.
Stephanie stood up and wrapped her arms around me.
“Samantha, you’re just having wedding jitters, that’s all. What have you eaten today?”
I frowned. I didn’t want to answer. In a last-ditch effort to lose a few more pounds, I hadn’t eaten anything at all.
“I’m taking you to get something to eat. Get out of that dress. We’re going shopping for the bridal shower, and we’re going to have a delicious lunch. Don’t make any decisions about the dress just yet. Alright?”
“Alright.” I nodded.
As Gail helped me out of the dress she spoke to me in a quiet tone.
“I hope I’m not overstepping here, Samantha, but may I share something with you?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I’ve been married for fifty years now.”
“Fifty years?” I smiled. “That’s amazing.”
“It is. But it was also hard, hon. It was rough to stay together that long.”
“Why, aren’t you in love?”
“Sure we are—we always have been. But life doesn’t care if you’re in love Samantha. Life gets difficult. It makes you do and say things you never thought you would. Sometimes it can even turn you against the person you love most in the world. My husband and I have stayed together this long, because whenever something got hard, we faced it together. We found a way to deal with those things and didn’t let them tear us apart. Your wedding is just the beginning of your life together. There will be hard times—that’s something you can count on. The important thing is the love you have for one another. It’s the only thing that will get you through.”
I frowned as her words sunk in. “You’re right.”
“I’ll leave you to change.”
As she walked away tears welled up in my eyes. If I couldn’t handle getting married how was I going to handle marriage?
As Stephanie and I shopped for the bridal shower, I tried to be positive. My thoughts matter, I reminded myself. But it was hard for me to be upbeat. I wanted my wedding to be a certain way, and it never seemed more impossible.
“I was thinking of these types of favors at the dinner.” Stephanie held up tiny umbrellas for me to see.
I nodded a little. “Sure, they look good.”
“Or maybe these?” She picked up another set.
“Whatever you think is best.”
“Samantha? Earth to Samantha?” She laughed and waved her hand in front of my face.
“I’m so sorry, I’m just a little distracted.”
“What’s going on? Planning your bridal shower is supposed to be fun!”
I took a deep breath. I willed it to fill and sustain me as it had done in the past few days. “I’m not losing any weight. Why can’t I just drop a few more pounds?”
“Oh, Samantha.” Stephanie frowned. “You’re too worried about that. The dress fits you perfectly now. Why worry about your weight when the dress is already let out?”
“Stephanie, that would be admitting failure. I simply can’t admit failure.”
“Sometimes we fail at things. It’s not an ending, it’s an opportunity to think from a new perspective, or move in a new direction. Think of all the times that you thought your relationships were failures.”
“This is not cheering me up.” I sighed.
“No, really, think about it. You were devastated each time. You thought it was an ending. But each of those relationship led you down the path toward Max, and in the end, you’re in the most amazing relationship. You’re about to marry the man of your dreams—someone you’ve had a crush on for many years. How can that be a failure?”
I thought about it for a moment. “I guess I never looked at it that way.”
“Of course you didn’t. That’s because people get blinded by their failure. They see it as an ending, rather than a beginning.”
“A beginning.” I nodded a little. “That’s a good point.”
“So maybe you won’t be the exact weight that you wanted to be for your wedding, but will that change anything else about the day?”
“In theory, no—but I don’t know, I can’t explain it. I worked so hard to lose weight. I don’t want to end up looking huge in my wedding pictures.”
“Alright.” Stephanie hugged me. “I get it. But you can’t let it take over your mind. What diet are you on right now?”
“Breathing.”
“What?”
“I eat a small amount of calories and then take breaths whenever I get hungry. It’s supposed to stop the hunger.”
“Are you kidding me?” Stephanie stared at me. “This has gone too far, Samantha. Juicing is one thing, but now you’re pretty much starving yourself.”
“I’m not. I—”
“—Would you tell any of your readers to do something like that?” Stephanie interrupted me, shaking her head. “What would you say to me if I was doing that diet?”
My defenses fell.
Chapter 26
I looked at my friend and realized that if Stephanie had told me the same thing about a diet she was on, I’d lose my mind and buy her a cheeseburger.
“Samantha, maybe you’re not losing weight because of these crazy diets. Why not just forget about it for a little while? Give your mind and body a few days to rest?”
“But there is so little time left.” I blinked back tears.
“And you should be excited by how close the wedding is.” Stephanie squeezed my shoulder. “These should be the best moments of your life, not the hardest.”
I took another deep breath. I knew she was right. My stomach was empty. It was gnawing on itself. My emotions were out of whack. It was all because of me and what I’d been putting myself through—all for the sake of losing a few pounds.
“Okay.” I nodded. “You’re right. I’m going to take a break from the crazy diets and everything else. And I do like the umbrellas.” I grinned at my friend, thankful for her honesty and support.
“Great.” Stephanie smiled.
As we picked out the rest of the decorations, I did start to feel excited. I looked forward to getting together with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I looked forward to just being able to enjoy the party without counting calories or breaths.
I thought of Max and how frustrated he’d become with my dieting. He was worried about me. At a time when we should be celebrating our upcoming marriage, he was worried instead.
I knew that it was time to turn everything around.
Every time I tried to reconnect with Max we ended up butting heads. There was just too much tension.
We weren’t even married yet, and we were already struggling.
I thought about the advice that Gail had given me about marriage. She’d told me that there would be obstacles, that it was not about having a smooth ride, but about being able to overcome those obstacles together as a team.
It reminded me of the flyer I’d seen in the bakery window—about the couples race that was coming up in our area. Max liked to be active, but he wasn’t much for exercising just for the sake of exercising. He enjoyed playing sports, but my coordination did not make catching and throwing easy. Maybe the race would be perfect for us.
I stopped by his house. This time I knocked.
When he opened the door he was frowning. “Now we’re back to knocking?”
“Oh no, I just didn’t want to startle you.”
“I told you that this is your house now too. You shouldn’t knock.”
I could already see where we were headed—right toward an accidental argument. “Max, I don’t want to fight.”
“I’m not fighting. Just because I’m talking—”
“Max!” I kissed him hard—so hard that he tripped over the threshold. We stumbled into the house together and ended up tangled up on the floor of the front hallway. I started to pull away to apologize but Max pulled me close. We kissed for a few minutes, sprawled on the floor, with the door wide open.
There it was—the connection. I smiled through the kiss as it blossomed between us.
Seeming to be a bit out of breath, he pulled away and looked into my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I guess I was fighting.”
“I don’t want to fight any more.” I returned his gaze. “It’s time that we started acting like a team again.”
“I agree.” He helped me to my feet and closed the door. “So how do we do that?”
“How do you feel about obstacle courses?”
“Huh?”
“Well, I realize we haven’t done anything fun together in a long time. We go out to dinner and watch movies, but we haven’t really played together.”
“Okay. You’re right.” He nodded.
“There’s this local race.”
“I don’t want to do any marathons.” He shook his head.
“It’s not a marathon. It’s a short race. It’s an obstacle course, and we have to run through it as a team. Like there’s walls to climb—we have to boost each other up over them—mazes to figure out and some other stuff. I don’t know all of the details just yet. I thought it would be a fun way for us to blow off some steam and get our minds focused on one another again.”
“If you want to do it, I’m willing to try. It sounds like it could be fun.”
“Great, because we have to start training today!”
“Training?” He laughed.
“I’m serious.”
“What does training mean?”
“It means we have to spend time together.” I grinned.
“Well, then, I’m all in.” He kissed me again.
The race was four days before the wedding.
We spent the next week and a half training every chance we got. Our training sessions usually turned into make-out sessions, but the important thing was that we were together and connected.
By the day before the race, I could barely contain my excitement. I sat across from Will on my couch and listened as he ran through the final checklist of items for the wedding.
“Okay, so now we have everything lined up. I will make sure it’s perfect, I will.”
“It can’t not be perfect.” I smiled.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it is.”
“No, I mean, no matter what happens it will be perfect, because I’m marrying Max.”
“Aw, how sweet. It’s good to hear that. What are you two doing tomorrow? Maybe we could have brunch together at the gardens.”
“No, we’re running a race.”
“What?” Will’s eyes widened.
“It’s a special race. It’s an obstacle course—with all kinds of tests, and mud and—”
“—and absolutely not!” Will stood up and glared down at me.
I hadn’t seen his angry face before.
“What do you mean?”
“Those races can cause injuries! That’s why you have to sign a release! How are you going to look hobbling down the aisle in a cast?”
My eyes widened at the idea. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“But it could, Samantha! It could!”
“Will, we’re doing the race.”
“You will not, you will not!”
I stood up from the couch and put my hands on my hips. “Oh yes we will!”
He sighed and took a step back. “Fine. I guess if it’s that important to you, I have no choice. But mark my words that it’s not my fault if you end up with a black eye instead of the bride’s glow that we’re going for.”
“Will, you worry too much. It’s going to be great!”
“Ridiculous!” He huffed. “I can’t even imagine what would make you think this was a good idea.”
“Max and I have had a great time practicing for it. Together we’re unstoppable.”
Will nodded with a light smile. “I get it. But I still don’t like it.”
Chapter 27
Even after Will’s warning I was excited about the race.
The bridal shower would be next and then the big day! I couldn’t believe it was almost time to be married to the love of my life.
Even though I’d started eating an average diet again, I found myself losing weight as a result of the training that Max and I had been doing together. It wasn’t as much as I’d originally wanted to lose, but I was proud of each and every pound.
Once I’d relaxed a bit about it and actually shared an enjoyable activity with Max, the weight had begun to come off once again. I hoped that I’d continue to lose some weight after the wedding, but I still had no idea what the honeymoon would entail. Max wouldn’t even give me a hint.
It wasn’t easy not to know something so important, but it was important to Max to surprise me.
I spent the rest of my day resting and stretching. I knew that the next day would be a killer, but I still looked forward to it. It would be one more task that Max and I could check off of the bucket list we were destined to create together.
The next morning Max and I met at the location of the race.
“Are you ready for this?” I grinned at him.
“Are you kidding?” He leaned over to kiss me. “I can’t wait.”
“Go!”
Max and I tore off toward the first obstacle, as did the other ten couples that were participating. It was a wall of rocks all piled up on top of each other. I thought it would be very easy to get over at first—just a little climbing—but when I put my foot on the first rock, it slid right out from under me. The rocks were loose, which meant that every time I stepped on one the pile shifted.
“Max, how are we going to do this?” I didn’t want to give up on the first obstacle. Several of the other couples were having the same problem.
“Let me see if I can get to the top.” Max took off up the rocks.
I frowned. “Max, we’re supposed to do it together!”
Max got about halfway up and then lost his footing and slid right back down. “It’s impossible.” He shook his head.
“It can’t be impossible. We just have to figure it out.”
“Alright.” Max nodded. “Let’s see. Maybe if we hold on to one another we can distribute our weight enough to create a stable path up the rocks.”
“Good idea.” I grabbed his hands. We started to climb, but our bodies wobbled in different directions. I tipped forward and nearly knocked us both over. We got our balance, but the rocks slid out from under us again.
“Nope, it’s not working.” He sighed.
“Maybe if we hold on to each other by the elbows.” I showed him what I meant. “It’ll help us stay more stable.”
“Okay.”
He smiled. “I’d do anything to hold onto you.” He winked.
“Max! Stop being sexy and distracting.”
“Stop being sexy? I don’t think that’s possible, do you?”
“Max! We’re never going to make it to the top if you keep talking to me like that.”
“Hm? But we already did!” He grinned. “Look!”
I looked and gasped at how high we were. I grabbed him tight around the waist.
“Now who’s distracting who?” He laughed.
Once we were down the other side of the rocks, there was a big pool of mud to wade through. I tried to remember how good the dirt had felt on my hands. We sloshed through the mud. It wasn’t hard at first until I slipped. Max caught me. Then he slipped. I pulled him up out of the mud and we made our way across the pit. By the time we reached the edge we were both covered in mud.
“Wow, that was wild.” I looked ahead to the next obstacle. It was a tunnel that we had to crawl through. It was too narrow for us to fit side-by-side. “Who’s going in first?”
“I’ll go.” Max started to crawl in.
I crawled in behind him. It was very dark inside the tunnel. We moved a few feet, then were hit by icy water. It sprayed right at us as we crawled. Max bore the brunt of it because he was in the front.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.” Max sputtered. “I don’t know if I can make it all the way, though. Sammy, this is crazy.”
“You can do it! I’m right behind you—just keep moving forward.” I encouraged him throughout the tunnel until we finally neared the end. I saw light and then Max disappeared with a scream.
“Max?” I lunged after him, only to find that there was nothing under me. The tunnel opened to a huge water slide. I landed in the shallow pool at the bottom.
Max swam over to me. “Are you alright?”
“I’m great.” I laughed. “Let’s do it again!”
“It’s not over yet.” Max pointed to the last section of the race.
It was a mixture of crawling under and crawling over obstacles, each with their own deterrent. The first one was covered in thick sandpaper. The second was coated in something foul and sticky, and the third spun so fast that it was a blur.
I tried crawling onto the sandpaper, but it tore at my skin.
Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4 Page 27
