by Thomas, C. M
“So, you can dance.” Zane looked down at me, holding me even tighter. I could feel his hardness against me. And if I wasn’t turned on before, I was now. I wanted him to take me out of here. We danced for a long time. It wasn’t until I felt Cole’s hand on my shoulder that I broke out of this small bubble that we had created.
“Mind if I steal her away for a dance or two?” Cole was looking at Zane, who didn’t look happy, and neither did I. I just wanted to go back to our bubble. But Zane stepped back and gave Cole a nod. Cole took my hand and spun me around, so I was now dancing with him. I felt the moment Zane left us; it was like the air around me changed. After I danced with Cole, it was time to go home.
All the way back to the hotel, Zane didn’t look at me once. What have I done? Was he mad that I danced with Cole? It wasn’t like we were dating or something like that.
After saying good night to everybody, I walked to my room. Once I was inside, I took my heels off immediately. Just when I was about to unzip my dress, someone knocked on my door. Thinking it was Kylie, I opened the door. But it was not Kylie—it was Zane.
“I forgot something,” he said just before he leaned down and kissed me. The moment our lips touched, I was sold. He wrapped his arms around my waist and walked into the room and kicked the door closed behind us. My arms reached up and around his neck, trying to get him even closer. His tongue begged to get inside, and I just melted into him. I slightly opened my lips, and when our tongues reached each other, I felt like I was home. This feeling of safety combined with lust was just too much. I didn’t know how long we stood there kissing, but it felt like forever. The feeling of losing time like this was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
Chapter 10:
Zane
I just had to kiss her. I was almost at the door to my room before I turned around and walked down the hall to her room. Dancing with her tonight was wonderful; it was like we were the only two people on that dance floor. And even though I couldn’t dance, it felt like we were made for each other. Like at that moment, I felt complete. Now I was standing here, with my arms around her waist and kissing her.
Never in my life had I been this turned on by a kiss. This was not just a kiss; it was like I was home. This felt so right. I thought that if I just kissed her once, then this obsession and lust towards her would be gone. But now, there was no chance that this was the last time I would kiss her. I wanted more, not just sex, but her. I wanted to get to know her. When we were both out of breath, I broke the kiss. I looked down at her, seeing her lips all swollen up from our kiss. She looked up at me, and her eyes were almost dancing. She looked amazing.
“I dreamt about doing that since the first time I saw you.” I looked at her, hoping I was not scaring her away.
“Me too.” That was all she said. I wanted to remember this moment. Something between us changed. I didn’t know what, but I could feel it.
“I’d better go. I don’t want Kylie to catch me in here with you.” I bent my head and kissed her on the forehead. Then I turned around and walked out of the room. Before I reached the door, I felt her hand on my shoulder.
“I don’t care what Kylie thinks.” She walked around me, and stood up on her tiptoes and kissed me softly on the mouth. “Good night, Zane, I’ve had a wonderful evening with you.” She stepped away from me and opened the door.
“Goodnight, Anna.” I walked out of her room and down to my room.
“Come on, get moving, guys,” I could hear Kylie yell at us out in the hallway two days later. I was all packed and opened the door. The hotel staff was ready to get our baggage down to the bus, so I just walked out of my room and headed downstairs. The guys joined me outside the bus, and we stood and talked for a moment, waiting for the baggage to be brought. Being on the bus was not something I enjoyed, so for as long as possible, I stood outside. No need to get on the bus before time.
Just when the bus was about to leave, Anna and Kylie came out from the hotel. I looked over at Anna. I hadn’t seen her since the night we kissed. She gave me a small smile before looking away. What was that about? Was she embarrassed that we kissed, or did she just not want anyone to know?
“Ladies first,” Cole said when Kylie and Anna walked over to the bus.
“Oh, come on. Since when are you a gentleman?” Kylie asked before she walked up the steps into the bus.
“I’m always a gentleman. You just don’t see it; all you have eyes for is your man.” Cole walked right behind her. He was not that much of a gentleman after all. Anna was still standing outside. Caleb and Liam followed Cole inside. Then Marco walked in, and now it was just me and Anna, who was still not looking at me.
“Something wrong?” I walked to her and motioned for her to walk up the steps. She didn’t move, but finally, she looked up at me.
“What happened the other night can’t happen again. Kylie warned me about this, and I don’t want to upset her.” She walked up the steps and into the bus. I didn’t know what had just happened. The other night she said she didn’t care what Kylie said. One thing I did know was that this thing between Anna and me was so not over.
I walked up the steps and inside the bus. A few minutes later, we were ready to go.
On the way from Seattle to Portland, I just tried to make sense of what Anna said outside the bus. I took my phone out of my pocket and sent Dax a text.
Me: Do you have Anna’s number?
Dax: Yes, why?
Me: Can I have it?
Dax: You guys are on the same bus, just ask her!
Me: No, just give it to me.
I waited, knowing that Dax was pissed that I even asked him this. But five minutes later, he texted me her number. And then a warning.
Dax: Don’t hurt her.
Me: Wouldn’t dream of it.
I looked up at my phone and saw that Anna was just sitting by herself and looking out the window. Here goes nothing.
Me: So why can’t we kiss again?
I looked over at her. She turned around, looking at me surprised before looking away again.
Anna: How did you get my number?
Me: Doesn’t matter, just answer my question.
Anna: I told you. I don’t want to hurt Kylie. And it does matter. Who gave you my number?
Ignoring the last part of her text, I kept writing to her.
Me: Why would it hurt Kylie that you and I are kissing? And by the way, you said the other night you didn’t care what she said.
Anna: Because she’s working for you guys. What if it ends badly?
Me: What if it doesn’t?
Anna: And what makes you think that we will work? We don’t even know each other.
Me: Then we get to know each first before we start dating.
I knew I was pushing her, but I wanted to know her. And if she only wanted to be friends, then that was a start.
Me: What do you say? Friends?
Anna: Fine, but no kissing. I don’t want to be friends with benefits, got it?
Me: Sure. But just so you know, I don’t think you can avoid kissing me.
Anna: Wait and see.
I looked up after reading that and saw her looking at me. She winked at me before turning around again. So now I had to try to be just friends with her.
Me: How long before I can take you out on a date?
Anna: Three weeks.
Me: WHAT?
Anna: If you still want to go on a date with me in three weeks, I’m all yours.
Three weeks. That was not a problem at all. Yeah, right! Just these few days had been hell, how was I supposed not to touch her or kiss her for three weeks? I was going to have a lot of cold showers, or else I was going to have a set of blue balls. No thank you.
Me: But no dating anyone else in the meantime.
Anna: That goes for you too. I think it’s going to be a bigg
er problem for you than me.
Me: Haven’t been with anyone since I met you.
Anna: That was six days ago. Not impressed.
Me: You should be.
The three weeks began. We got to Portland, where we were doing two concerts. We also started this live streaming on our Facebook account the day before the concerts. The first two were a big success, and Kylie was over the moon about it. And so were the guys. Me, I was doing my best to get to know Anna. We had fun together, but we were never alone. That was a good thing, because I really wanted to kiss her. We got to know each other, talked a lot about our families, dreams, and just life. While we might not be alone, we often sat alone in the room, talking, while the others sat talking somewhere else. Anna also started helping Kylie with some of her work. That was fine by us, and it made Anna feel more part of the team.
After Portland, we drove to Springfield, where we were doing one concert. We’d been in Springfield a day when Kylie suggested that we all needed to see some nature. We’d been locked in a bus, hotel room, or venue for weeks, so we all agreed. We went to a local park there that was so big that we should be able to walk without being stopped every second to sign an autograph.
When we entered the park, a slight breeze made the trees rustle. The air was warm, and the sunlight was glowing on us. The freshly cut grass and the flowers reminded me of home. We walked on the pathway, which wasn’t as much a pathway as just some dirt littered on the ground with some random rocks. But it worked, and it fit the park. After spending the day in the park, I felt like I was full of new energy.
The live stream before the next concert was all about Cole and me. It was only us streaming and answering questions. There were, of course, a lot of questions about me and my lack of a girlfriend. I really didn’t get it. The other guys didn’t have girlfriends either, but apparently, they thought it was only me who needed one. I wanted to tell them that I was working on getting a girlfriend, but decided that Anna would just be pissed at me. And the others would ask questions about who I was trying to date. I just played along and said that I loved my life as it was. Even though I missed one big thing: Anna. We were still doing the friend thing, but I wanted more. And I knew she did too, but I kept my promise for the three weeks.
The last stop before the three weeks were over was Sacramento. We were doing two concerts here too, one on the stadium and one for a smaller crowd at the hotel we were staying at. The small concert was for the foundation we performed for in Seattle. There were a couple of hundred kids and caretakers coming, and this concert was free for them. We were paying all expenses for this. That was one of our ways of giving back to these children. This time, before the night before the concert at the stadium, it was Liam and Caleb’s turn to answer questions. And that was fine by me. I felt excited knowing that when we were done here, the three weeks would be up, and I finally would get to go on a date with Anna.
Chapter 11:
Anna
Three weeks were almost gone. We were on the way to Reno, and in three days, Zane was taking me out on a date. If he still wanted to date me. Looking around on the bus, everybody was either sleeping or just keeping to themselves. I was trying to read, but I couldn’t concentrate. I kept thinking back on the last three weeks. Getting to know the band and especially Zane had been fun. We had been talking a lot, and almost every morning we met in the gym, though, of course, the other band members were with us. But still, we bonded over the need to get a morning run. Zane told me that when he was home, he ran on his parents’ ranch. That he liked running in nature a lot more than in the gym.
The more I got to know him, the more I wanted to be with him. He was entirely another person than the person the tabloids wrote about. He cared about his family more than anything, especially his youngest sister, Gia. He talked about her a lot. I almost felt like I knew her, even though I’d never met her.
Caleb told me one day that Zane and Gia were always close. It was strange, since he was the oldest, so there was an age difference between them. But I thought it was great. I liked seeing the soft side of him. Before I met the band, I was sure that Zane was all bad boy. Someone who didn’t care about anyone other than himself. I was wrong. So very wrong. He even talked to his mom at least once a week. He was fun, caring, and soft. Not that I thought he wanted people to know this. It was like he was keeping this shield around him, an only people he trusted got behind the shield. I was happy that he trusted me enough to show me the other side of the rock star. I looked down at my phone and saw there was a text.
Zane: Three more days, can’t wait to be alone with you.
I smiled, and my heart was pounding in my chest. If I wasn’t careful, I might just fall in love with him. And that couldn’t happen. I still got texts and emails from “D,” and even though I didn’t think he had any idea where I was, I was afraid. The panic attacks—that’s what Dax called that incident when I first got on tour—didn’t often happen anymore, and when they did, I tried to stay calm and just breathe through them. I still got this sick feeling in my stomach when I saw a text or email from him. The last I got from him was so creepy; he told me that he was tired of masturbating to the thought of me, that he wanted the real thing. I still didn’t understand why he picked me. Why wouldn’t he just leave me alone? I looked back at my phone and answered Zane.
Me: Remember, it’s a date, and I don’t have sex on the first date.
Why, Anna, why did you have to mention sex? More than anything I wanted to be in bed with him, to feel his skin against mine. Never in my life had I felt more alive than I did at that moment of our first kiss.
Zane: I didn’t say anything about sex, that was you. I just want to be alone with you, hold your hand and kiss you good night.
Why did he have to be so sweet and romantic?
Me: I want that too. So, where are you taking me? Please, somewhere not too public; I don’t want the press breathing down our necks.
Zane: I was thinking room service and a movie in my room? Or yours, just you and me.
Me: Can’t wait, I think your room. Kylie always has a keycard to my room, and I don’t want her to know before we decide what we are. Is that okay?
When he didn’t answer right away, I got nervous. Did he want us to tell everyone on the team right away? I couldn’t say that I would back out of the date if he wanted to tell everyone. I just wanted us to have some time to ourselves before we needed to get everyone’s opinions. I looked over to where Zane was sitting. He looked up, almost as if he could feel me looking at him. I couldn’t help but smile the moment our eyes met. He did the same. I looked down and saw that he finally texted me again.
Zane: I think it’s okay. If that’s what it takes for you to agree to this, I’m all for it. But I don’t want to keep it a secret forever.
Me: Of course not. I just want us to find out what we are before the others start interfering.
Zane: Me too. I know Kylie will be mad. Not at you, but at me. She told me more than once that I was not to touch you. But I just can’t keep that promise.
I read the last part of his text again. I felt my body tingle, and I just wanted to go right over and kiss him. But I didn’t because right now we had an audience.
Me: She will be mad at me too. But we will just have to deal with her.
Zane: It’s you and me.
With a smile on my face, I looked out on the road. We were almost in Reno. The band had to do one concert here. And both Liam and I were celebrating our birthdays while we were in Reno. Apparently, Kylie and Caleb had planned some celebration. Not that they would tell us about it, only that it was on Liam’s birthday, which was the day before mine.
When we got to the hotel, I was exhausted. I didn’t sleep on the bus like the others, so I was happy that I just got to go to my room and sleep until the morning. Kylie went to the front desk and checked us all in. Like all the other hotels, the band rented a whole
floor, that way they got more privacy.
The next two days flew by. The band had a lot to do, and I helped Kylie where I could. When I had the time, all I did was think about Zane.
When the morning came on the day for our date, I couldn’t wait anymore. I just wanted to be with him. And I was not the only one. When I checked my phone, there was a text from Zane.
Zane: Tonight, baby. Can’t wait to spend the evening with you.
I smiled while I reread the text.
Me: I can’t wait either. What time do you want me to come to your room?
Zane: I have to do the live stream on Facebook at seven, so around eight. I will text you when we’re done.
Me: Okay, see you tonight.
I planned on staying in my room today. I had to look for a job. I couldn’t keep living off my savings. But at the same time, I didn’t want to go back to life with some tedious job. I sat on the bed reading when I got a new text from “D.”
Unknown: My hunger and need for you are getting worse. Where are you, sweet Anna? You can’t hide forever. You will be mine, and we will be happy together – D
My heart started to beat hard in my chest. My breathing became uneven and my hands sweaty. Why was this happening to me? I kept trying to take a long, deep breath, and slowly my heartbeat went normal again. I looked back at the text. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he think stalking me was some grand gesture and that I would fall in love with him? I’d been thinking a lot about who he might be. Was it someone I’d met before? I couldn’t recall ever talking to anyone with a voice like his. I still got nightmares about that night, and they all ended the same way, with the words he said to me that night: “You’re mine now. Finally.”
