by Alice Patron
As far as Will is concerned, that friendship may never be mended. After our argument, during which I told him I just consider him a friend, he said he needed to get away. He said not to worry about him, but that he was going to South America for a while and that he needed a vacation. Oh, Grandfather! I've called and texted, and I just can't get a hold of him! I've left over a dozen messages apologizing, but he hasn't responded. I guess he isn't using his phone while he's in South America. Lakelyn has been out of town since the end of the semester. I haven't wanted to explain anything to her, but when she gets back, I'll ask for his email if he hasn't returned my messages by then.
I want Will to know the truth. And the truth is that I'm in love with him. I was confused, and I hurt him out of guilt for Adam and my own insecurity, and I just want a chance to start over. There may be something in his past he hasn't told me about, but I know he is a good person. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can forgive him his secret. My mom always kept secrets from me, and it hurts when someone hides part of themselves from you. I still can't trust her. But Will isn't my mom. He's proven himself a good friend, a wonderful person, and a darn good kisser. It was one of the top five moments of my life when he kissed me. Will is the reason for four of my five top moments. The only other thing on my list was when I got the scholarship for change. Without him in my world, I feel like I'm gasping for air, or like I'm up against a wall and the whole world is fighting against me. I don't think I even realized how I depended on him until I had nobody.
Sorry to ramble, Grandfather, I guess I'm just a bit sad and needing some grandfatherly advice. You really are the only one I can confide in; did you know that? It hardly seems fair that you are the person I trust the most, and I don't even know what you look like. But I don't resent you, I hope you know. I really did appreciate the yellow roses you sent for graduation. I would have loved seeing you more than the flowers, but I do understand that you are busy and want to stay anonymous.
Grandfather, I feel like I haven't made a difference at all - I seem to only make things worse. I failed you and the scholarship for change. What should I do to make a difference in this stinking world? And how can I make things better? Should I call Adam and apologize? I really could be happy with him. I'm not even sure I deserve Will anymore, even if he can forgive me. Please help, Grandfather.
Confused and sad,
Jessie
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting with Mr. Bow Tie
Date: December 17, 2018
Jessie,
Mr. Bow Tie has asked that you meet him tomorrow, the 18th, at the Red Butte Cafe. He will be there at 12:30, and will be wearing a bow tie and will have a yellow rose pinned on his jacket.
You'll let me know how it goes, won't you dear?
Regards,
Jane Lippett
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Meeting with Mr. Bow Tie
Date: December 17, 2018
I'm so pleased Mr. Bow Tie has asked to meet with me! I will most certainly be there. I'm not worried about recognizing him - he is my overseas grandfather, after all. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to thank him in person for the scholarship. And thank you, Mrs. Lippett, for being our middle man.
Gratefully yours,
Jessie
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: From Mr. Bow Tie
Date: December 19, 2018
Dear Jessie “you rock my world” Whiting,
I always wanted to write back. And I always wanted to give you nicknames like you gave me. I'm sorry if I don't measure up to your standards in those areas.
Meeting with you yesterday was the number one moment of my life so far. The look of bewilderment on your face was priceless! It made up for the fact that I had to leave a Caribbean resort a week ahead of schedule. It even made up for the fact that you beat me with a dozen yellow roses as soon as you got to me. I'll forgive you, because I did disappoint you, after all. Those flowers were supposed to be for a very generous, grandfatherly, sophisticated man, not your exasperating friend, Will. That kiss after the flower beating helped make up for it, too. Hopefully we gave those cafe patrons something to talk about.
I had planned out everything I wanted to say to you yesterday, but once I had permission to kiss you… well, it might have been the one time in my life I was at a loss for words. Here are some of the other things I had rehearsed before you distracted me:
Don't blame Lakelyn for not telling you about my wealth. After the first time I met you, I asked her not to say anything. To your credit, you never asked her if I had money. She wouldn't have lied if you had asked directly. It started out that I just didn't want a scholarship recipient to know me personally and make the connection that I was the donor, but then, as I got to know you, I wanted to be the real, authentic me. Playing the part of the multi-millionaire businessman has always felt like an act I'm not fit for. I hope you'll forgive me if I misled you. But those moments of me just being able to be me were refreshing. I felt like myself again. Of course, if I had known that keeping some information from you was the thing that was keeping you at a distance, I would have told you long ago.
I'm sorry to find that you were disappointed in me being “way too rich.” But don't you see? That's the amazing thing! You liked me when you didn't know I had money, and you hesitate when you find out I do. Do you know how rare that is? And if you'd rather have me without my money, we can give it all, or, you know, most of it, away. Even if we keep our money, I will never make you go to a single fancy dinner with hoity toity millionaires. Or we can go to the dinners and bring ketchup pouches from McDonald's to flavor our caviar just to bug people. I also promise that I will never let business become the priority. If you really will have me (I'm still pinching myself - it is for real, right?), I promise you will always be the most important part of my life. You've changed me. My world is happier.
Did you know you light up a room when you walk in it? I had thought I would never marry. There was never anyone interested enough in me without my money attached, but you are authentic. You can sit in the rain with me, talk about deep subjects, and you don't get caught up in judging or comparing. You are a breath of fresh air. It gives me hope for the world that there are people like you in it.
I want to apologize for confusing you. I felt like an idiot when I had to text you after the symphony to apologize for holding your hand. I knew I couldn’t ethically date you until you were no longer a scholarship recipient, but in the moment, I wasn’t thinking with my head. It was actually quite relieving when you declined the remainder of the scholarship. I need to apologize for kissing you when you were dating someone else, too. You were finally off the scholarship, and I thought I was too late. I just couldn’t watch you marry Adam when I felt I might have a chance, and so I acted out of desperation. I am desperate for you, even still.
I love you Jessie!
Love,
Mr. Will Bow Tie Pendleton (let's cut out the “grandfather” part of the nickname, shall we?)
P.s. We can exchange the ring for something simpler if you really do want to. We can buy a ring pop, or something that turns your finger green - as long as it makes you happy.
P.p.s.
I was the captain, the chief, they all did as I told,
Every deal I struck churned us out more gold.
Never resting was the way I kept the emptiness inside,
But my dreams always mocked what I fought so hard to hide.
When I met you I knew I could be happy and whole,
You've changed the way I see things - become part of my soul,
Knowing that you love me makes me feel completed.
You're the part of me that I never knew I needed.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
/> Subject: Making a Difference
Date: December 20, 2018
Dear Mrs. Lippett,
I know I'm technically not even a college student at the U anymore, but my last email ended things on a bad note, and I want a chance to change that.
You see, I've been thinking quite a bit about how maybe I am making a difference in the world. It just took an extraordinary, bow-tie wearing man pointing it out to me to see that maybe my efforts haven't all been for nothing. Maybe I won't change the world in the way I wanted. I don't have a lot of hope right now for my mother or brother to change. They won't let me change them. I won't stop trying to help, but I can't force them into a better life. But you know what I can do? I can reach out in kindness to everyone within my influence. I didn't know that simply becoming someone's friend could change their life. And I always knew that falling in love would be life-changing for me, but I didn't know I could do the same for someone else.
Now Will-Mr.-Bow-Tie-Pendleton and I will fund several scholarships together, because the scholarship for change made the biggest difference in my life, and now I want other students, from all walks of life, to figure out their own way to change the lives of people around them.
It hasn't been until now that I truly understood that changing the world is simply making life a little more worth living for those around you. It isn't always the people you expect to help, either. Will says I've made a difference in his life. I don't know if I believe him yet, but if I work at it the rest of our lives, maybe I will.
Thank you, Mrs. Lippett for reading my emails and for being a part of the process.
Sincerely,
Jessie Whiting
“The world is full of happiness, and plenty to go round, if you are only willing to take the kind that comes your way.”
― Jean Webster, Daddy-Long-Legs
If you enjoyed this novella, check out another book by this author:
https://www.amazon.com/Rachels-Valley-Alice-Patron-ebook/dp/B07NZN9LGF/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?crid=1DAGM860QE55G&keywords=rachel%27s+valley+by+alice+patron&qid=1554749842&s=gateway&sprefix=rachel%27s+valley%2Caps%2C199&sr=8-1-fkmrnull
THE END
