With this new thought distracting me from the unknown, I happily took my shower.
Chapter 5
Scrubbed clean, I stepped from the steaming shower, wincing at the new scrapes and cuts on my battered feet. I sighed and finger-combed my hair, looking disdainfully at the jeans and shirt I’d taken off. Not being able to bear putting the dirty clothes back on, I wrapped the thick towel around me and headed for the door.
The aroma of coffee and bacon lured me downstairs where I found Raven cursing over the stove. He too had showered, and his dark hair hung in loose ringlets over his collarbone. Droplets of water traced a path down his broad back, and I found myself mesmerized as they made their way down to his narrow waist, disappearing into the waistband of the jeans that slung low over his narrow hips.
“Are you going to just stand there or come over here and help me save your food?” he groused without turning around. “I keep some food around but not much.”
“What the hell happened to you?” I breathed, my eyes still following those drops of water and the deep scars they traced. “Who cut you up?”
“You don’t live as long as I have without amassing a few scars,” he countered, voice deepening.
Without being aware of it, I crossed the floor and found my fingers caressing the deep grooves. Raven stiffened beneath my touch but didn’t speak. I had the unnerving need to kiss the wounds that had long since healed.
“Don’t,” Raven said, as if reading my mind.
Withdrawing my hands, I muttered an apology and turned my attention to the bacon burning on the stove. Some of the marks on his back had been deep, others wide, but all of them looked like they were given brutally.
“We’ll throw it out, I’m sure you can do better,” he muttered as he placed blackened bacon on a plate lined with paper plates.
“No.” I reached around him and picked up one of the less charred pieces. I popped it into my mouth. “Actually, this is how it looks when I cook it too.”
Raven turned then and his gaze took a slow trip down my body. “Where are your clothes?”
I grabbed another piece of bacon, backed up to the table, and pulled myself to sit atop it. Tilting my head and grinning I said, “I couldn’t bring myself to put the dirty ones back on. I don’t suppose you have a T-shirt I could borrow or something?
For a moment he said nothing, hunger and lust evident in his eyes. “I’ll get you something to wear.” He thrust the plate of bacon at me and left the room.
Cutting him off at the base of the stairs, I crooned, “Ladies first,” and stepped in front of him.
I heard a guttural growl from him, but he said nothing. We ascended the stairs until Raven walked into the closet of the room he gave me. The closet was as big as my childhood bedroom. Hanging neatly were dresses, jeans, blouses, skirts, and shirts. Rows of shoes lined a rack at the back of the closet.
“Whose are these?”
“Yours.”
My jaw dropped open. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say, so I shut my mouth and stared at him.
“I thought you’d need some things while you were here, so I…” He shrugged.
“You went shopping for me?” I couldn’t keep the incredulous tone out of my voice. How the hell did he know my sizes, and exactly how long had he been planning on bringing me here?
“No, that’s what personal shoppers are for.”
I stepped farther into the closet and let my fingers graze the variety of fabrics. Everything still had the price tag attached and I gasped. “Eight hundred and seventy dollars for a dress?” I whispered in shock.
“You don’t like it?” The touch of disappointment in his voice made me turn to him.
“It’s too much. I mean,” I glanced at another tag, “this blouse is over two-hundred dollars.”
“It’s only money, Zen. If there’s something you don’t like, I’ll send it back.”
“Take it all back. I can’t repay you for these.”
“Who said anything about paying me back? I knew you’d need clothes, and it wouldn’t be safe to go back to your house to retrieve them. Just as I knew you’d need food and a bed. You have to wear something, Zen.”
“How did you know my size? You know, you have some serious issues with stalking.”
Scowling he said, “I estimated your size, some of these are in multiple sizes because I wasn’t sure. And…” his eyes darkened as he leaned in a little, “I did not stalk you.”
“This,” I raised my eyebrows and swung my arm toward the closet, “would be considered stalking.” When his gaze narrowed I softened my words with a grin.
“Is there anything in here that you like?” Exasperation was clear in Raven’s voice.
Smiling, I pulled a pair of jeans and a T-shirt off their hangers. Raising an eyebrow at the price tag of the jeans only earned me a mild shrug from Raven, so I slipped on the shirt and let the towel drop.
Raven took a deep breath through his nose and pulled the hem of my shirt down, stretching the fabric, his fingers just grazing my thighs and sending desire coursing through me. “You’re playing with fire, little one.”
Lifting my chin defiantly I replied, “I like the heat.”
“Careful you don’t get burned.”
“Will you burn me, Raven?” I knew he could. Yet for whatever reason, it’d seemed as if I’d known Raven for months. Like he had stayed with me that night so long ago and never left my side. It didn’t make sense unless part of me knew he was watching, protecting me long before we’d actually met. If I believed in soul mates, then perhaps I’d think he was mine. “What would it take to crack your tough-guy veneer?”
“I was cracked long before you came along, Zen.” He stood before me. So close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body, hear the slight puff of breath coming from him. “There are underthings in there. He nodded toward chest of drawers. “And you need to eat.”
Abruptly he turned, left the room, and jogged down the steps, effectively ending our conversation.
I yanked open the top drawer and pulled out a silky thong, smiled to myself, and then put it on. I tugged up the jeans and then followed Raven’s path down the stairs. It occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one who needed food.
“When did you last—you know—eat?” I asked.
“Two nights ago, when that asshole attacked you in the garage.”
I felt my eyes grow wide. “Did you k-kill him?”
“Relax. I only took a pint or two. Nothing he couldn’t spare.”
“How often do you need to, eat—drink, whatever?”
“I have ample stock of bagged blood in the house.” He leaned in, putting his lips very close to my ear. “I won’t take anything from you that you’re not willing to give.”
I felt my body shudder at the feel of his breath on my earlobe, which only brought his gaze down my body. He was toying with me. That’s okay; I knew how to play too.
“I’ll bet I’m delicious.” Tossing my hair over my shoulder and exposing the line of my neck, I grinned wickedly.
Raven scrubbed a hand over the nape of his neck, muttered something too low for me to hear, and stalked out of the room.
Chapter 6
I ate alone and then wandered back upstairs. I was a little pissed and admittedly disappointed that Raven had deserted me. The room he had given me was large and decorated with heavy, dark wood. The bed dominated the space, and for all its maleness, the mattress was plush and covered with luxurious sheets, numerous pillows, and a down comforter. The view outside was muted, but I could make out distant mountains under the light provided by a pale dash of moonlight. Enough stars twinkled in the sky to let me know we were far removed from city lights, and that was an oddly comforting thought.
Nestling into the covers and sighing deeply I realized they smelled of forest and autumn leaves. This was Raven’s bed. Or at least he’d slept here recently.
With whom?
The question came unbidden to my mind.
It doesn’t matter. I’ve no right to wonder who Raven spends his nights with.
I lifted my fingers to my lips. But he’d kissed me. Did it mean something? Was Raven the kind of man to kiss one woman and sleep with another?
My gut told me no. He was honorable, if nothing else.
The door swung open and guiltily I dropped my hand from my mouth and blushed.
“I am an honorable man, Zen.” Raven spoke as if reading my mind, and I started wondering if he could do just that.
“Can vampires read the thoughts of others?” I asked as color crept up my cheeks.
The corner of his mouth switched into the beginnings of a smile. “No.”
Doubt narrowed my eyes. “Can you?” Yeah, right.
This time he did grin. “Were you thinking of my honor, little one?”
“I was thinking of mine.”
“Humans have some strange misconceptions of vampires.” He laughed. “I only mention my honor because I will be staying in here tonight.”
“What?” I felt my shoulders snap back and my chin jut out as shock coursed through me. He couldn’t.
“It is the only bed in the house, and I am reluctant to leave you unguarded.” He sat on the edge of the mattress. “Don’t worry. I don’t actually sleep. I’ll be awake until dawn, after that…” he slid a vial out of his shirt pocket “…if you need me, inject this into me and I’ll arise.”
“It will bring you back to…” I trailed off, searching for the right word and settling for, “life?”
“Temporarily.” He pressed it into my palm. “It is one of Phoenix’s creations.”
“You said that name before, who is Phoenix?” The name still flirted with the edges of my memory.
“Phoenix is the reason you’re here.” Raven looked at me. “Do you remember him?”
I blinked and really tried to pry the name from my memory. “There’s…something.” I shook my head slowly. “I just can’t quite pull it out. But if he’s the reason I’m here, I hope he suffers,” I ground out, my head bursting with pain. “I hope you…” No, I couldn’t say it. I wouldn’t wish anyone dead. That wasn’t me.
“He did,” Raven said simply. “And he will never hurt anyone again.”
Raven didn’t have to say that Phoenix was dead. The glare in his eyes as he snapped out the words said clearly that he was.
“Phoenix experimented with supernaturals with some very interesting results.”
I sucked in a breath as the hidden meaning behind his words hit me. “You think I’m one of his experiments?” Terror filled me.
Raven didn’t answer.
“What difference would it make now? The guy is dead, right?”
“Yes, he is dead.” His soothing words held little comfort.
“What do you think I am?” I choked, afraid to even consider the meaning of “interesting results”.
“ShadowWalker.” Raven’s fingers skimmed my cheek gently. “We thought you were like me. We were wrong.” I didn’t miss the sadness that edged his voice. Raven thought I was like him. Is that why he felt like he needed to keep me safe?
“Are there any other ShadowWalkers?” I asked softly.
“No.”
I put my hand over his, still at my cheek. “I’m sorry, Raven.”
When he only grunted, I continued, “If this guy was so bad, how can we trust whatever is in this vial?”
“It has been tested. It is, however, not without consequences.”
I handed the vial back to him. “What consequences?”
“It will sap some of my strength; make me weaker for a short while.” He tried to give it back to me, but I pulled my hand away. “You cannot defend yourself, and until I get you to Ian’s estate, there is no one else.” Raven held the vial out to me.
Swinging my legs off the bed I said, “Then let’s get on our way.” I wanted to get moving, anyway. It was dark, and if he was taking me to the Nightwalkers, then why wait? Once they found out that I wasn’t a ShadowWalker, I could go back to my own life.
Alone.
That single word felt so cold, so sad.
He shook his head slowly. “You need your rest, and it is too close to sunrise to get very far. We will go when Ian and Leah tell us to.”
My body tensed. Trepidation snaked up my spine at both his words and his mode of transportation.
“By car.” His smile was as reassuring as his words.
Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I took the vial and syringe. “Do you think I’ll need this?”
Raven tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, sending shivers down my back. “No, little one, I just want you to have it for security and my peace of mind.”
“Okay.” I agreed. If someone or something came after me, I didn’t want to face it alone. I’d have to trust Raven yet again.
He reached over me and turned on the bedside light. “We’ll leave this one on.”
As he walked toward the door to the ceiling light switch, he unbuttoned his shirt and let it drop to the floor. When he turned, his pants were unbuttoned and the zipper slightly down, belt hanging open.
The effect on my psyche was devastating. The man was built top to bottom, and after I managed to pull my gaze from him, I looked at anything in the room except Raven. The mattress dipped with his weight as he sat upon the bed.
I rolled to my side away from him. Not that I didn’t enjoy the view but because it felt so right to be there that it frightened me. The night grew long as my mind wandered fitfully and sleep came in short snatches, my thoughts drifting into dreams. Shadows danced across the room as the ceiling fan ruffled the curtains and sent them swaying in the light breeze. The scent of Raven surrounded me, excited me as he straddled my hips, fingers kneading my shoulders as he called my name. I bucked against him, my body covered with a fine dew of sweat and my breath coming out in rasps. I tingled as the hair on his legs brushed against my legs, my head thrashing from side to side.
“Come on, little one!”
My incoherent screams shattered the night.
“Zen!”
My eyes snapped open, wild and widened as realization crashed upon me, the weight of it nearly suffocating in its intensity. “No!” I screamed wildly.
“Zen!”
Nearly hyperventilating with my need to get air, I sucked in a massive breath and found myself inches away from dark, concerned eyes. “Raven?”
He let out a long, relieved sigh. “Yes, little one.” His grip on me loosened. “You were having a dream.”
“Nightmare,” I amended, and then noticed the line of blood dripping down his cheek. “Oh God, Raven! Did I do that?” I fingered the wound gently.
He took my hand in his. “It’s nothing. Are you okay now?”
I started to nod my head, thought better of it, and shaking it slightly replied, “No. Sometimes the dreams are more vivid than others.”
Raven shifted his weight off of me and slid to my side so that his face was level with mine, fingers brushing the sweat-soaked hair off of my face. “Do you have them often?”
I tried for a laugh and failed. “You’ve been stalking me for months; you should know the answer to that question.” I tried to hide my embarrassment behind sarcasm that I knew he didn’t deserve.
“Guarding, not stalking. And you sleep with the lights on; I was never able to watch over you in your bedroom.” His forehead touched mine. “It was maddening.”
Embarrassment fading, I grinned wickedly at him. “Not being able to see me in bed was driving you crazy?”
“Not being able to assure myself of your safety did.” He cupped my cheeks in his large calloused hands. “And yes,” he said softly, “I wanted to see you in your bed, but I also wanted you to know that I was there.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before his lips moved to my cheek. He pulled back and looked into my eyes for a long, lingering moment.
I prayed that he found whatever it was he was looking for. I licked my botto
m lip and then pulled it between my teeth in a show of nerves and anticipation. Raven still searched my eyes. I could no longer resist and leaned in, taking his lips with mine. His deep groan contrasted with my soft cry as my tongue crept out for a taste and issued an invitation.
He accepted, thrusting his tongue into my mouth to dance with mine. He tasted divine and the kiss quickly became demanding, more urgent, and full of the desire that I felt each time he kissed me. I no longer cared how well I knew him or for how long. My instincts had always guided me well and never before had I felt so right about anyone else.
His fingers moved to the back of my scalp, massaging as he tilted my head for a better angle and devoured me once again. I nipped at his lower lip gently, needing to feel his moist flesh between my teeth. His eyes flew open and he pulled away, muttering an apology.
Feeling rejected and frustrated once again, I tried to steady my breathing as Raven distanced himself from my body. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” He feigned innocence with a growl.
“Kiss me like I’ve never been kissed before, then turn away.”
“I’d say it won’t happen again, but I don’t like to lie.”
I sat up and looked down at him. “I want it to happen again.”
“It can’t,” he said flatly.
“Are you married?”
He shook his head.
“Girlfriend? What?” I demanded.
“No.” His brows rose above his darkened eyes. “It just can’t happen.”
“You’re a frustrating man, Raven.” I lay back, silence hanging over us like a bleak cloud.
Finally he spoke. “Tell me about your dream.”
I couldn’t tell him that I’d dreamt we made love, so taking in a stuttering breath I said, “It was just about my past.”
“Then tell me,” he persisted.
Bringing up the memories of my childhood wasn’t pleasant, but I told him about the faceless people that once held me captive and the many times I’d tried to run away before I’d finally succeeded. I recalled the terror I’d felt when they shoved me in the dark places and demanded things of me that I didn’t understand. I was only a child, and I couldn’t comprehend the things they wanted me to do. To this date the words still remained as gibberish in my memories and nightmares.
Shadowwalker Page 4
