by Ruff, K. S.
I crawled out of bed and stumbled into the shower. I turned the hot water on as high as it would go. “Hell,” I reminded myself. “That’s where you’re headed if you continue down this path, Kri.”
I peeled my yoga clothes off and kicked them aside. I grabbed my loofa, squeezed a glob of lavender body wash on top, and scrubbed myself raw. It struck me then that Maxim may not have left the house. He could be waiting for me to join him downstairs… which also meant he could be seconds away from climbing back up the stairs and joining me in the shower. I shampooed quickly, rinsed, and dried myself off.
I raked a comb through my hair, brushed my teeth, and threw some deodorant on before tugging a camisole, thong, and a pair of sweats on. I crept barefoot downstairs. My hair was dripping wet. Oni’s application materials and the banner from the children’s hospital were sitting on my dining room table. Maxim was nowhere to be found.
I grabbed my keys, toed my flip flops back on, and strode out the front door. I stalked next door to Rafael’s townhome and pounded on the door.
He swung the door open. “What the…”
I shoved him in the chest. Hard. “You told Maxim he could kiss me?”
Rafael took a step back. “It was…”
“…the only form of payment he’d accept?” I shouted hysterically. I slammed the door closed behind me. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. You don’t use sexual favors from me to pay your debts, Rafael.”
His eyes flared. “I didn’t consent to sex.”
“I didn’t have sex with him!” I screamed.
His eyes darkened as he took a step toward me. “Do you think it’s easy for me to tolerate you kissing another man,” he asked, “when you barely tolerate being touched by me?”
“Oh, you’re going to touch me,” I snapped back. “We’re having sex right now.”
His mouth fell open.
I shot him a dirty look as I began stomping up the stairs. “You’re going to kiss me until I no longer feel his lips on mine. You’re going to claim every square inch of my body until the only thing I can think about is you. Then, we’re having sex until I can no longer speak, think, or move.”
Rafael’s hands clamped around my waist. He swung me over his shoulder like a sack of flour and hauled me the rest of the way up the stairs. “I would have invited him here a long time ago if I had known it would lead to this.” He threw me on top of his bed.
I scrambled to my knees as I began tearing my clothes off. “Don’t stop,” I demanded. “No matter what.”
He pulled his t-shirt off before stepping out of his sweats and kicking them aside. “I’m not stopping,” he responded irritably. “You’re going to be pinned beneath me for the next three days.”
“Hard,” I whispered as he climbed on top of me. “I don’t want you to coddle me. I want you to drive every last fear from my mind.”
He shook his head, immediately establishing control. “We’re doing this my way or not at all.”
I began to object, but he silenced me with a bruising kiss. His tongue swept possessively through my mouth, demanding my compliance. I whimpered softly as he lowered his body to mine.
He nipped at my bottom lip, then nudged my chin aside as he began kissing my neck. He captured my hands and pinned them next to my head when I reached for his hips and tried to pull him closer. “Slow down,” he growled. “I’m not rushing this.”
“More,” I demanded, still seeking control. I groaned when his warm mouth latched onto my breast. My toes curled as he consumed my breast in long, drawing pulls. “Now,” I rasped. I wanted to do this before my anxieties caught up with me.
“My way,” he repeated in a threatening tone. He took his time licking and kissing the other breast, thoroughly unraveling my need. Well-muscled legs held me in place as I wiggled beneath him. He wouldn’t allow my legs to open any further. He just continued lapping at my breasts until I was on the verge of screaming.
I tried to sit up when he moved away from my chest. He planted the palm of his hand in the center of my chest and forced me back against the bed. His broad shoulders nudged my thighs apart as he began licking between my legs. His tongue swirled, stroked, and thrust until I was trembling violently. “Rafael,” I gasped. “God, please, just take me.”
Ever so slowly, he slid a finger inside of me. I exhaled forcefully. I couldn’t believe it didn’t hurt. He slid a second finger inside, and my entire body clenched. I reached for him, desperate to feel him inside of me. He turned me over instead.
He wedged his hand between my hips and the bed so he could stroke the swollen tissue between my legs. He nudged my knees a little further apart. My hands gripped the duvet as he positioned himself. He was so close to being inside of me.
“You belong to me, Kristine… me and no one else.” He thrust inside of me in one long, determined stroke.
I gasped. I had forgotten how thoroughly he could fill me, how completely Rafael possessed me when he took me like this.
His fingers moved methodically as he thrust inside of me. He wrapped his other arm under my chest and cupped my shoulder as he let the full weight of his body relax on top of mine.
I was trapped beneath him, completely incapable of moving. I should have found that disturbing, but the feel of his body wrapped so tightly around mine made me feel protected and safe. The tension eased from my body. I relaxed into his arms, relishing the fact that he now owned and controlled every part of me.
He pressed his lips to my ear. “Say it,” he demanded.
I hadn’t a clue what he was asking. “Say what?”
“You belong to me,” Rafael rasped. He drove inside of me, delivering his point a bit more forcefully this time.
Pleasure, not pain, sparked across every nerve ending. “I’m yours,” I conceded breathlessly. “I belong to you.” I gasped as he tugged me up onto my knees. His fingers ground against all the right places while he thrust deep inside of me. My vision blurred. Longing turned to raw, unadulterated lust. I wanted to weep, but I wasn’t sure why.
He grabbed my chin and forced my lips toward his. I braced my hands on his thighs and leaned back against his chest. He kissed me greedily, as if he suddenly couldn’t get enough of me. His hand drifted back toward my breast. He rolled the nipple between his thumb and fingers while his other hand stroked between my legs. He thrust deep inside of me. I moaned as I arched against him. I had never been so thoroughly stimulated in my life. I nearly disintegrated.
He broke the kiss, pushed my shoulders back toward the bed, and held my hips in place, forcing me to remain on my knees. His fingers dug into my hips as he slammed inside of me. Rafael wasn’t making love, he was staking his claim, demanding my submission in a very brutal way.
This was exactly what I wanted. “Yes,” I cried. My hands fisted in the duvet. I wanted Rafael, and only Rafael, to own me in this way. I wondered if he knew or if he simply needed this too.
“You’re mine,” he repeated. He slammed inside of me again and again.
My body wound tighter and tighter, then suddenly exploded. Rafael drove inside of me one last time. A second orgasm swept through me as he pulsed, then flooded me with heat.
I collapsed onto the bed when he released me. He rolled me over and immediately reclaimed his position inside of me. We made love, slowly this time. He gently caressed my breasts, my arms, and face as he began moving deep inside of me. There were no hard thrusts, only soft, silky ones as he kissed my hands, my face, and neck. He captured and held my eyes when he found the sweet spot. He slowed, ensuring every inch of every stroke kept us lingering along that edge of intense pleasure, until we both neared the breaking point.
“Now,” I pleaded breathlessly.
He slowed even more. “Who am I?” he asked.
I stilled, uncertain as to why he’d ask such a ridiculous question. “What?”
“Say my name,” he demanded.
“Rafael,” I replied. My toes curled when he thrust inside of me. Every nerve ending sparked as my body s
ought release.
“Again,” he insisted.
“Rafael,” I breathed.
My back arched as he slammed inside of me.
“Rafael,” I cried instinctively.
He thrust hard and fast, spilling inside of me when I shattered in his arms.
Rafael kissed the inside of my wrists while he watched and waited for my breathing to slow. The sensation caused my nipples to harden. My body clamped down on his as desire shot through me once more. He remained buried inside of me as he rolled over and positioned me on top of him.
He completely consumed my breasts, then stared with lust filled eyes as I rode this storm on top of him. He forced a slow, steady pace when he took control of my hips. My head fell back as I relinquished everything. My thoughts turned carnal when I saw his muscles tense beneath me. I pinned his hands above his head and ground my hips into his until he lost control… until he surrendered everything.
Rafael rolled me beneath him and took me three more times before we drifted off to sleep. He repeated the process all over again the next morning, that afternoon and evening, the next morning, and long into the third night. Rafael owned me, body and soul, by the time it was over. He left eight love bites on my neck, six on my breasts, one on my wrist, and two on my thigh to prove his ownership. I was insanely sore but blissfully happy to have a sex life again.
Chapter 6 - Wake me up inside
Shae and I were sitting at my favorite Starbucks waiting for Dr. Sandstrom to arrive. I was nursing a grande triple skinny caramel macchiato. She was drinking a bottle of blackberry flavored water. “Did Dr. Sandstrom say why he wanted to meet here?” I asked. I inhaled deeply, savoring the musky scent of freshly ground coffee.
Shae snagged another chair from a table that had just been vacated, then dropped back into her seat. “He said he was up to his eyeballs in grad students and needed to get away.”
“Aren’t we considered grad students?” I inquired jokingly. I relaxed into my seat. I was keenly aware of the fact that the chairs were wood and not metal, as they had been in Ukraine.
She shrugged. “I think he was referring to the newbies. Besides, he’s been treating us more like colleagues ever since we returned from Ukraine.” Shae glanced at the door when it swung open, then locked in on my scarf. “What’s up with the scarf?”
My cheeks heated. “Apparently, Rafael felt he needed to mark his territory now that Maxim’s in town.”
Shae burst out laughing. “Rafael gave you a hickie?”
I fingered the scarf, adjusting it self-consciously. “He gave me seventeen hickies to be precise.”
Shae choked on a mouthful of water. Her eyes teared when she cleared her throat. “Now I know why you called in sick yesterday. I presume you two…”
I nodded.
“And everything’s working okay?” Shae stilled, and her breath caught, as if she were afraid to hear my response.
I smiled reassuringly. “Everything’s still working, shockingly enough.”
She gaped at me. “Oh no you didn’t.”
My lips hovered over the top of my coffee cup. “Didn’t what?”
She set her bottled water on the table and glared at me. “You did not just say ‘shockingly’ when referring to your goodie bits.”
I spewed coffee out my nose. “Goodie bits? What are goodie bits?” I choked out in a fit of laughter.
Shae folded her arms across her chest and arched a single eyebrow at me. Eventually, she huffed out a breath and handed me a wad of napkins.
I doubled over. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to clean my face up.
Shae started cracking up. “I can’t believe you said ‘shockingly.’”
“Oh my God,” I gasped as I mopped my face up. “We’ve got to be seriously brain damaged to be laughing about this.” A strangled sound escaped from my chest when my mind conjured up an image of Shae being tortured with the stun gun. I stopped laughing. “I’m so sorry,” I groaned.
She reached for my hand. “Me too,” she sighed. My pain was carved into her face when our eyes locked.
The coffee shop grew quiet. I tried to force my thoughts toward more pleasant topics. “How’s Konstantin?” I finally asked.
Shae sank back against her chair and slowly released her breath. “About as well as can be expected. He’s limping, but he hasn’t done any physical therapy, so no surprise there. He claims his head is fine, but he hasn’t undergone any testing for the traumatic brain injury, aside from that initial CT scan. Konstantin is stubborn, and he can’t be bothered to take care of himself.” She took another swig of water. “He’s still blaming himself for what happened to us. Frankly, I think he’s surprised Maxim didn’t kill him when he found out what the SVR had done to you.”
I thought about all the other people Maxim had killed. I was thankful he’d drawn the line at Konstantin. “Maxim said Konstantin is thinking of moving to the United States so he can live closer to you.”
Shae nodded while quietly toying with her bottle of water. The gentle clanking of metal spoons and coffee carafes followed the high pitched whine and hiss of the espresso machine when a new wave of customers approached the counter.
I waited for Shae to elaborate, but she didn’t. “Is he going to move here?”
Shae’s eyes finally met mine. “I don’t know. I told him I’d like him to move here, but I don’t want him working for the mafia, not in the United States.”
I took a sip of coffee. “I think that was a very wise move.”
“He’s worried he won’t be able to find a job outside the mafia. It’s not like he can put his work history on a resume,” she noted sadly.
I exhaled softly. “I’m sorry, Shae. I know how much you care about him. I imagine it would be difficult for him to find a legitimate job, but working for the mafia would put you both in danger. There’s got to be some way he can shore up his resume so he can secure a different job.”
Dr. Sandstrom burst into the coffee shop. His snow white hair was poking up in a million different directions. His tie was askew and his suit jacket rumpled, but his crisp blue eyes were sparkling. He waved on his way over to the counter. He ordered a Caffè Americano before loosening his tie and joining us at the table. “Ladies, I have wonderful news.”
My breath caught. I’d just delivered Oni’s application materials to Dr. Sandstrom this morning, before work. He couldn’t possibly have a decision. He’d had less than a day… ten hours to be precise.
He took a sip of coffee and dropped into the chair Shae had scrounged up for him. “I have spoken with the dean, the provost, and the financial aid staff. We are prepared to offer your friend, Oni, a full ride scholarship. She can begin winter semester, assuming she’s prepared to start her coursework in January.” He took a sip of coffee. “I’ll confess, you two got the short end of the stick. We scored a new class and an exceptional young woman. Her academic record is outstanding.”
We nearly knocked the coffee out of his hand when we jumped up and threw our arms around his neck. “Thank you, Dr. Sandstrom. Thank you so much,” we both gushed.
His cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. Clearly, he was embarrassed by the group hug. “Oh, please. I did nothing. We are very fortunate to have all three of you ladies attending our university.”
“I can’t wait to tell her,” I prattled excitedly. “Are you going to mail her acceptance letter or should we have that hand delivered?”
Dr. Sandstrom pulled an envelope from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. “I have the acceptance letter and the financial aid offer right here.” He set the envelope on the table.
I stared at him in awe. “How did you accomplish all of this in one day?”
He took a sip of coffee, stretched out his long legs, and grinned. “I didn’t. The dean and provost approved this two weeks ago, pending final review of her application materials. We’ve been working on the financial aid package ever since.”
“Konstantin isn’t lea
ving until Sunday. He can deliver the acceptance letter, unless you’d prefer to go through Maxim,” Shae suggested thoughtfully.
I shook my head. Hard. “Oh, no. I’m not about to owe Maxim for any more favors. You should have Konstantin deliver the letter.”
Shae glanced at me questioningly.
My mouth snapped shut.
“Konstantin it is then,” she replied with a sly smile. She was letting me off the hook. For now.
* * * * *
“What do you think of this one?” Cenia asked.
I eyed the light blue gown. The cut was nice, but the color was all wrong. “Do you really want a pastel for a November wedding?”
Cenia looked thoughtful. “No, but I think we should stick with blue or green to match the flowers in my dress.”
I pulled another gown from the rack and briefly examined it. “Agreed. Not navy, though. Navy is too dark.”
“What about this one?” she asked.
I fingered the royal blue taffeta gown. “This color would make the flowers in your dress pop.” The dress was strapless, like Cenia’s wedding gown. The floor length skirt was full, but not so full that it would knock anyone over. “I really like the cut.”
“I like this bow accent across the chest,” Cenia mused. “Do you think you’ll be able to dance in this?”
I examined the dress a bit more critically. “I don’t know. Maybe I should try it on.”
Cenia handed me the gown. “I’m going to keep looking. I’ll meet you back in the dressing room.”
I found an open room, stepped out of my clothes, and slid the gown over my head. My breath caught when I saw my reflection in the mirror. The dress was truly breathtaking. The ruche bodice made it look like miles of fabric had been cinched around the chest, hips, and waist. The skirt was fitted in the front but flared in the back, like a form fitting gown with a train. The cut was very flattering.
“How does it look?” Cenia asked from outside the door.
I popped open the door, stepped into the hallway, and turned around. “Well? What do you think?”
“What the heck’s wrong with you?” Cenia exclaimed. She stared slack-jawed at my neck.
