“I could … do that for you. If you want?” Her words rushed out quickly, as if she needed to say them before she changed her mind.
I stared at her dumbfounded. “What?”
“I’m sure it would be more effective with two hands, and I want to help. Please. I could try.”
I wasn’t sure how I would handle my reaction of feeling her hands on me. “I think your hands are probably too sore for that, Rabbit,” I said quietly, not wanting to seem ungrateful. “I know you’re in a lot of pain.”
She shook her head. “No, I think it would be good for them. They need to move and flex. Please, Joshua, let me try.”
I regarded her quietly for a moment. “If it hurts you, or you are uncomfortable, then you need to stop. Okay?”
She nodded. “Show me where it hurts.”
I took in a deep breath and placed her hand on the area that ached the most. Again, I was surprised at the warmth and comfort I found in her touch. Normally, I would be tense if touched by a stranger; even a handshake, but with her I was very relaxed. I could feel her gentle fingers move as she seemed to examine the area and then she started kneading the muscles. I was surprised at the strength in her small hands and immediately felt some relief. I tried to bite back the groan that threatened to escape my lips at her touch, but a small one escaped.
She stopped. “Good groan or bad groan? Is it okay?” she whispered.
“Yes, it’s okay. It’s … good. So good. Please don’t stop.”
Her hands continued to knead and massage. My eyes shut partially out of pleasure and partially out of embarrassment. My reply had been uttered in a low tone and sounded oddly… intimate. Peeking out of one eye, I could see Rabbit seemed only to be concentrating on the task at hand and either didn’t notice the odd tone of my voice or chose to ignore it.
For that I was grateful.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Joshua.”
I shook my head. We were having a stand-off in my bedroom. After the hot tub and Rabbit’s surprisingly well-done massage, my leg felt much better. I was holding a pillow and a blanket, getting ready to go sleep on the couch. Rabbit was being stubborn and insisting she would sleep there.
“You need your rest, Rabbit. I’ve slept on the couch many times.”
She shook her head. “No. This is your bed. Your leg needs a good rest. I am way smaller. I would fit on the couch better. Or, I can sleep in one of the others rooms; if I’m covered up, I’ll be fine. ”
I rolled my eyes and snorted. “The other rooms are closed off and have zero heat. You would freeze all night, so that’s not happening. Nor are you sleeping on the couch. This discussion is over. Get in bed.” I lifted the covers indicating she needed to crawl in. She looked at me, walked forward and, in a move I wasn’t expecting, pushed me so I stumbled forward onto the bed. Before I could react, she grabbed the blankets and covered me. Bear immediately jumped up and lay down right beside me as I struggled to sit upright.
Rabbit’s triumphant grin was infectious and I found myself chuckling along with her. “Think you’re pretty clever, do you?” I asked her.
She nodded. “You’re in bed now. I’ll just take this blanket …”
My hand covered hers, stilling the words she was about to speak. “I can’t let you sleep on the couch, Rabbit. I can’t. It’s just not … right.”
She smiled sweetly. “Well, I can’t let you either, Joshua. So what do you propose? We both sit up all night?”
I looked at the empty side of the bed and before I could reconsider it, I spoke up. “We share.”
Her eyes widened in doubt.
“Rabbit, it’s a king size bed. I’ll stay on my side. Bear will be in the middle and you’ll be on your side. You’re perfectly safe. Then neither of us will be on the couch or trying to sleep in a freezing cold room.”
I watched her face as she mulled it over. She bit her lip as she processed the idea and then sighed in relief as she nodded in agreement. Leaning over Bear, I ignored his chuffs of disapproval of being disturbed as I pulled the covers back in silent invitation. She crawled in bed wordlessly, although I noticed the winces of pain as she tried to make herself comfortable. “Do you want some painkillers?”
She hesitated before saying yes. I got her a couple of tablets and some water and watched her take them. After she settled down, I made sure she was warm enough, and then I returned to my side of the bed and blew out the gas light. The reflections of the flames from the fireplace danced on the darkened walls and the soothing crackle of the wood popping was the only sound in the room. Outside, the snow and wind was still pounding against the house.
“How long do you think the storm will last?” Her voice was a quiet whisper in the dark.
“Another day, maybe more.” I shrugged in the darkness. “I don’t know.”
Quiet filled the room and I lay there listening to the fire, feeling remarkably calm considering I hadn’t shared a bed with another person in years.
“I’m sorry.” Her quiet words startled me. I leaned up on my elbow and looked across Bear at her. She was curled into a ball, her back to me, hugging her pillow and I found myself wanting to reach across and touch her, comfort her. Instead, I simply asked, “Sorry for what, Rabbit?”
“For causing you so much trouble. For disrupting your life.”
I could hear the emotion in her voice. I stared at her in the dark. I was shocked at the words that I spoke.
“I’m not sorry, Rabbit. You’re here and you’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
I lay back down, surprised at what I had just said.
When she had appeared twenty-four hours ago, I was angry she had disrupted my life.
Now, I meant exactly what I said.
She was safe. That was all that did matter.
For the first time she had arrived, both my mind and I were in agreement.
Chapter Six
Joshua
I woke up slowly, knowing something was different. My senses picked up that the storm was still blowing outside. I felt the weight and warmth of Bear as he slept, stretched out across my feet, as usual. I buried my head deeper into the pillow and my arms tightened around the warm body that was curved into mine. Smiling, I leaned down and nuzzled the soft hair … and my eyes flew open as my body suddenly realized what was different.
Rabbit.
Rabbit was sound asleep, burrowed into my chest, my arms around her. The large body that had separated us last night was now snoring away at the foot of the bed, draped across our legs which were tangled up together under the blankets.
I blinked in confusion. I remember falling asleep. Bear was between us. A protective wall for Rabbit. When had that changed? I searched my brain and remembered. Rabbit had cried out in the night having a nightmare, and Bear had jumped up, growling, ready to attack whatever was frightening her. I had pushed him out of the way and reached over to wake her, only to have her roll into my chest and burrow herself into me, shaking and sobbing. I had held her and whispered soothingly into her ear, stroking her hair until she stilled and slept again. Not wanting to disturb her, I had laid there trying to figure out how to separate myself from her without waking her, yet not really wanting to separate myself from her.
Obviously, I fell asleep. Now, I was faced with the same dilemma. I didn’t think she would be very happy waking up to find herself this close to me. Looking down on her face, I paused. Her long dark lashes were resting on her pale cheeks as she slumbered. Her hands were both clasped against my chest holding onto my shirt and her dark hair was spread across the pillows and down her back. I couldn’t help but raise my hand and gently stroke away the few wisps that were lying across her face. The bruises were out in full color today and looked dark and angry against her skin. I frowned looking at them, wondering again how and why anyone would strike this small person with that much maliciousness. I was tracing over one bruise on her cheek with a fingertip, fighting the sudden intense desire to follow its trail with my lips, when her
eyes suddenly opened. She stared at me for a moment and I waited with baited breath for the screaming and accusations to begin.
Instead, she smiled a shy, tremulous smile. I smiled back at her warily.
She spoke, her voice quiet in the dim light. “I had a nightmare.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“You comforted me.”
“Yes.”
“You’ve held me all night?”
“Um, yes. You, ah, seemed to sleep better when I held you.”
She didn’t say anything for a minute. Then, she closed the space between us and gently pressed her lips to mine. Instinctively, my one hand reached up and held her face to mine, enjoying the feel of her warm lips before she pulled away.
“Thank you.” She whispered, then untangled herself and grabbed her clothes. I watched as she slowly went to the bathroom, favoring one side of her body.
I lay there stunned and completely aroused.
Sitting up, I glanced at the bathroom door, and then down at Bear, who regarded me knowingly for a moment before huffing and laying his huge head back down on the bed. I was pretty sure he just rolled his eyes at me.
I had no idea what just happened. All I knew was I liked how Rabbit felt curled up against me. And I really liked how it felt when she kissed me.
I shook my head.
This was so not part of the plan.
After Rabbit had disappeared into the bathroom, I quickly got dressed and then plowed my way out to the barn to check on the generators again, needing some distance and space between us before I faced her again. After adding gas to the generators and checking that everything was okay, I sat down heavily on one of the benches, trying to clear my head.
She kissed me. She didn’t scream or accuse me of taking advantage of the situation. She had kissed me. And I had responded. Every part of me had responded. What did that mean? I mulled it over for a while, and decided it meant exactly nothing. She thanked me. Just as I had responded to her need to be comforted in the night, she responded this morning and thanked me. A sweet kiss. And given the close proximity we had been in, and the fact that I was a man, my body had reacted as well. That was all it was. Nothing else came of it and nothing else would. We didn’t know each other. Given her current state of memory loss and the secluded life I lived, we couldn’t know each other.
I nodded. It was good. It was nothing. A spur of the moment thing. I doubted it would happen again. I resolved to watch my reactions to her. She was vulnerable and I couldn’t let myself take advantage of that. No matter how appealing I found her.
I needed a new plan. I had to stop the impulsive need to touch her when I felt she was upset. Or any other time. I needed to distance myself more. I could be friendly and supportive. But that was where it ended. I couldn’t think in terms of caring for the woman currently residing in my house. Or a relationship with her … of any sorts.
Finally, having no further excuses, I decided I needed to return to the house soon. Going to the door, I whistled for Bear, who came running from the mounds of snow he was frolicking in. I looked up at the sky. It was lightening up and the wind was dying down some, but the snow continued to fall, albeit lighter. I hope that meant the storm would soon be over. Suddenly, I shook my head. I had a satellite radio in the house. I had never even thought to turn it on. Rabbit had totally taken over all my thoughts. Maybe there would be some news of a missing person on it and we could get some answers today.
I made my way back to the house and entered via the mudroom. Both Bear and I shook ourselves off and I hung up my coat, leaving my clothes on. I would change after a hot shower. Entering the house, Bear padded his way over to Rabbit, who was standing by the stove again. I watched as she greeted him affectionately and grabbed a towel to help dry him off. I shook my head at how the sight of her in my kitchen, tending to my dog, looked so right. Stepping forward, I laughed. “Now someone is getting spoiled with all that attention.”
She looked up shyly. “What does he normally do?”
“Lies by the fire.” I smiled as I went over to add some logs to the fireplace.
“Ah. I guess that makes sense.”
“Do I smell coffee?” I asked hopefully as I came closer to the kitchen again.
Rabbit nodded and handed me a cup. I sat down at the table and took a deep drink of the hot liquid.
“Wow. This is delicious. Did you put something in it?”
“Um ... cinnamon.”
I took another sip. “It’s great. I’m gonna have a quick shower and get out of these wet clothes."
“I’ll have breakfast ready when you’re done.”
I stood up, shaking my head. “You don’t have to do that, Rabbit. I don’t want you pushing yourself.”
“I know. I want to. Please? I feel like I’m contributing. Not just being ... in the way.”
Something in her voice made me stop. I looked at her, but she was looking anywhere but at me.
I stood in front of her, hesitating, then lifted her chin, and looked at her. Her eyes, once again, told me exactly what she was thinking. I could see the worry and apprehension in them. The new plan went right out the window and I found myself wanting to take those feelings away. This time it was me that leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. “Not in the way, Rabbit,” I whispered quietly. “Not even remotely in the way.”
I pulled away and made my way down the hall. Pausing, I turned around. She was sitting at the table with her fingers on her lips, staring at me. For a minute, we just stared. Then we both smiled and I went to have my shower, cursing my weakness when it came to her, yet remembering the softness of her lips on mine the whole time.
Omelettes and toast were waiting when I went back to the kitchen. Sitting down, I smiled as I looked at my plate.
“I hope you like omelettes?”
“Absolutely. Mine never look quite like this though.”
“Sorry?”
I laughed. “Mine tend to look more like scrambled eggs with lumps. Never quite figured out the turning and folding trick.”
I dug in and smiled at her again. “They certainly never taste like this either.”
“What do they taste like?”
“Um ... well, scrambled eggs with lumps, I suppose,” I chuckled.
She smiled and began eating. I was amazed at how comfortable it was to sit and share a meal with her. I was used to the silence surrounding me, and although I didn’t feel the need to fill the quiet with conversation, I did want to try and draw her out some more. I loved hearing the sweet timbre of her voice.
Rabbit spoke up before I could think of anything to say. “Do you think the next time you go to the barn I could go with you?”
I looked at her as I chewed another delicious mouthful. “Why?”
“I thought maybe if I saw the car, I might remember something.”
I nodded. “That’s a good idea. We’ll go out later. I remembered I have a satellite radio in the cupboard. We’ll turn it on after breakfast and see if we can get the local station. See what’s happening out in the world.”
“Okay.”
Nothing. There was nothing on the radio except warnings to stay off the roads and how extensive the storm was. It was expected to rage for at least another day, maybe longer. People were stranded at airports, train stations, all over the place. There were massive power outages and abandoned cars on the highways. But there was no announcement about a missing woman. Sitting beside her on the couch, I looked over at Rabbit, but I wasn’t sure what she was thinking. Her troubled eyes lifted to me.
“Sorry,” she whispered, before lowering her eyes again.
“Hey.” I leaned over and lifted her chin. ”We covered this last night, okay? You’re safe here. You aren`t disrupting anything.”
Her eyes remained troubled. Wanting to see her smile, I winked at her. “Besides, if you keep cooking like you have been? Maybe I’ll just keep you.”
Her quiet giggle made me smile and I watched her relax a little. W
ithout any thought, my fingers stroked her soft cheek. Our eyes locked again and I could feel myself being drawn into the depths of her gaze. Slowly, I leaned forward, Rabbit meeting me halfway. Our mouths met sweetly, lips pressing and moving together. My hand wound itself into her hair, holding her close. Before we could get carried away, I pulled back, resting my forehead against hers. Neither of us said anything for a minute. I moved away and looked at her. Her gaze was questioning, but still warm.
I shook my head. I had no idea what there was about this woman that was causing the reactions I was having to her. But I needed to stop the responses. I reminded myself that nothing was going to happen between us.
I stood up abruptly. “Let’s go have a look in the garage, okay? See if that shakes anything in your memory.”
She stood up and accepted my proffered hand. But, I saw the flicker of sadness and confusion that passed across her face.
Knowing it was me that put it there, I hated it.
Chapter Seven
Joshua
I watched silently as Rabbit walked awkwardly around the car. I saw her study the license plate, her brow furrowed in concentration, but no sign of recognition passed over her features. I opened the driver’s side door and she gingerly sat down and again looked around slowly. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she struggled to get out. Leaning down, I helped her stand, then immediately dropped her hand. I had to stop touching her.
“Nothing?” I asked.
“No.”
We both stood looking at the car. “There are snow tires on it,” she observed.
“Yeah, I noticed that. That probably helped you stay on the road longer than you would have been able to.”
Into The Storm Page 4
