I wondered about going to the police with the pictures I had. Would it be enough? If I told them what had happened, would they believe me? Could they protect me? Brian seemed to control every aspect of my life, and there were no public medical records of my injuries. I knew without a doubt that the doctor he took me to was being paid to stay quiet and not keep records when he treated me. The evidence I had before was lost, buried somewhere in the snow on Joshua’s property. Now that my memory was back, I knew my purse had been on the seat beside me before I hit the tree and must have fallen out in the chaos that followed. I wondered if it would ever be found.
I sighed as I felt the tears trickle down my face. Would anyone believe me? My head ached with the magnitude of what I was facing and I shut the shower off, dreading the day and the life that seemed to stretch on endlessly in front of me. Joshua had thought I would resent a life with him because of the limitations he lived with. Yet each day I had with him had contained joy and love. The stark reality now was my life here was a prison; one of coldness and obscurity, where I meant nothing. I may not have remembered my name when I was with Joshua, but I knew who I was and what I meant to him.
Brian wasn’t at breakfast. Mrs. Smith informed me quietly that he had an early meeting and had already left. I nodded. This often happened after he laid his hands on me. I was grateful for the reprieve. Still, I pushed the oatmeal around my bowl with no appetite, and eventually gave up and waited by the front door for Bob to arrive and escort me to the library. Mrs. Smith appeared wordlessly and slipped a granola bar into my pocket and patted my shoulder before walking away. My eyes followed her gratefully. Although she had always remained reserved, unlike the rest of the staff, she endeavored to be kind to me in small ways.
When I got to the library I forced myself to stay at my desk. There was no point calling the number. I didn’t even open a search engine to try and find a link to Joshua. I spent most of the morning working with Kate, planning the next fundraiser for the literacy program. More than once, she asked if I was okay and I smiled and brushed off her concerns.
Just after lunch, my eyes were heavy and tired and I knew I needed a coffee to make it through the rest of the day. Leaning forward, I picked up the mug my favourite little reader had given me, and stopped short as I noticed a small fuzzy object in the bottom. Curious, I turned the mug over and instantly my eyes filled with tears. A tiny, furry, stuffed rabbit, no bigger than a golf ball, sat in the palm of my hand. And, attached to the soft bundle, a small, blank white card. It was identical to the first card Joshua had given me. My heart began pounding and I looked around wondering how it had gotten there. I stood up on trembling legs and walked down to the staff lounge, the items safely in my pocket, my mug hanging loosely from my fingers. Bob remained seated at the other end of the hall. He barely even glanced my way. We both knew there was nowhere else I could go.
Two of the librarians were sitting quietly in the lounge, discussing something, but they were the only other people there. I walked to the bathroom, shut the door and stood in front of the sink. I reached in my pocket with trembling fingers and pulled out the small blank card and rabbit. My hands were shaking as I turned on the faucet and soaked the card, holding tightly to the furry rabbit. I set it on the edge of the sink, watching as Joshua’s writing appeared.
I heard you. It’s time to come home.
Be careful. Eyes.
Hospital. Tomorrow. 1 p.m.
~J
I sank to the floor, unheeded tears streaming down my face. He hadn’t deserted me. He still loved me.
Joshua was sending someone for me. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I was going home.
I just had to make it through one more day.
I closed my eyes, praying I could do it.
I made it back to my desk, looking calmer than I was feeling. I even remembered to take the coffee with me. My mind raced with the implications.
Somehow, Joshua knew I went to the hospital on Tuesdays. He knew I was being watched.
He hadn’t left me alone.
Would it be Cecilia? Trevor? Someone else? How would they find me? I drew in a deep breath. I needed to trust Joshua and just allow things to happen. Obviously, he had something planned. I couldn’t mess it up.
I looked around. I wouldn’t be returning here ever again. Casually, I got up and pulled down a few of the drawings and moved a few things around. Kate appeared in my door. “Tidying up?”
I nodded. “It’s a little cluttered in here.”
She laughed. “You always do this, you know. Tidy it up and then three weeks later it’s just as messy. You can’t bear to part with any of your drawings.”
I smiled because she was right. “At least I try.”
“I have a meeting outside. See you Thursday,” she laughed.
My breath caught as I smiled back, lying to her. “See you then.”
The evening was a blur. Another dinner, another night of smiling and pretending to be something I wasn’t. Inside, I was a mass of nerves. I held myself stiffly all night beside Brian. I couldn’t afford to let my guard down or arouse suspicion. After arriving home, I shut my door behind me, sliding down the wall as my legs gave out. I prayed that was the last appearance I would make as Brian James’ wife.
The next day, I walked into the hospital with my heart racing, desperately trying to control my emotions. I had made it this far, but I didn’t know what would happen next. I hadn’t slept all night worrying and wondering. Terrified that I would do something wrong and whatever Joshua had planned, whoever he was sending wouldn’t be there. Would I know the person who would come and get me? How would they make contact with me? Bob stopped outside the lounge and I walked in to put my things away. As usual, a janitor was busy sweeping the floors. I hung up my coat and purse and picked up my smock and volunteer tag. Turning around, I ran into the janitor, dropping my tag.
“Excuse me,” I apologized.
“No problem, ma’am,” he said as he put his hand on my arm to steady me. “Oh, you dropped this,” he said as he bent over. He fumbled briefly, and then handed me my tag, winking. Quickly, he turned and walked away, pulling his broom and cart behind him.
Confused, I looked down. In the pouch with my tag was another small blank card. I looked up but he was gone. I drew in a nervous breath as I slid the card in my pocket and put on the tag. Outside Bob waited for me, escorting me to the wing where I volunteered. “I’ll be downstairs when you finish,” he informed me as the elevator doors shut and the elevator began to climb.
I nodded, my nerves stretched thin. There was one central bank of elevators. Even all the staircases led to the same central lobby. How would I get past Bob sitting there? I could feel the doubts and worries creeping up my spine. I checked my watch. It was 12:45 p.m. When the elevator arrived on my floor, I ducked into the bathroom. Wetting the card, I watched anxiously as Joshua’s instructions appeared.
Stairwell. East wing.
Go up.
~J
I took in a deep breath. I had the memory stick, my tiny rabbit, the remains of the bloodied blouse and I had even remembered to add a few of the mystery pills to show Joshua. That was all I dared take with me. Late last night, I had quietly added Joshua’s hoodie and shirt as well as the drawings I had taken to one of the boxes in my closet, praying that maybe I would somehow get them back. Brian had never even looked in the boxes and I wasn’t sure he was even aware of their existence. They certainly weren’t important enough to warrant much of his attention. Maybe I would be able to get in touch with Mrs. Smith and have her send them. She had always been kind to me. Distant due to her position in the household, but kind, none the less.
I made my way to the east wing and stopped outside the stairwell door. There was a janitor’s cart, stanchions blocking the door, and a No Entry sign hanging in the centre. There was a large puddle on the floor, seemingly leaking out from under the door. Was that real? Or a diversion? My heart was pounding and my entire body was shak
ing. I had no idea what I would find on the other side of the door, or who.
Then I straightened my shoulders. If it led me to Joshua, then I was going. I looked around, but the area was deserted. I opened the door and stood listening as it shut behind me. The only sound I could hear was my own breath, coming out in small frightened gasps.
Go up, the card said.
I climbed the steps slowly, listening. My body was shaking harder than ever. For the first time, the thought occurred to me this could be a trick. Perhaps Brian was onto me and was testing me. I stopped for a moment, but then kept climbing. I had nothing left to lose. If it was a trap then he already knew and I was doomed anyway; if it wasn’t, then someone would take me to Joshua. I stopped when I got to the sixth floor. The roof was the next stop and the stairway above me was dim. How far was I supposed to go?
There was nothing. No one was there. I looked at my watch and saw is was exactly 1 p.m.
I stood there, unsure what to do. Was I supposed to go on the roof? I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes as I stood trembling, feeling so lost and scared. A small object suddenly landed at my feet from above and I lurched back, startled, with a muffled gasp. I hesitated, and then bent down and picked up the fluffy object at my feet and stared. Another tiny stuffed rabbit lay in my hand. With a choked sob, I looked up. Above me in the hazy light, I could see the distinct silhouette of a man with broad shoulders. I watched anxiously as the shoulders moved and bent forward, then a hand extended over the railing above me.
Even in the dimness I knew that hand. I ran up the stairs and flung myself, sobbing wildly, into the arms that were waiting for me.
Joshua’s arms.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Joshua
I pulled Rabbit’s shaking, sobbing form closer. Her fists closed around my shirt front, holding the fabric tightly, her head buried in my chest.
I had her. She was safe.
The sheer relief was shocking and intense and I could feel myself shaking from the emotions.
I didn’t give a fuck if James suddenly appeared from behind her. Not even the wrath of God was going to pull her away from me.
Nobody was ever going to hurt her again. Especially not James.
The door opened behind me. “We need to move, Joshua.” I nodded and leaning down, placing my lips to her ear. “Arms, Rabbit.” Immediately, her arms moved to my neck, holding tight. I could feel the soft fur of the little rabbit, still clutched in one hand, against my neck. I scooped her up and ran through the door to the waiting helicopter, Frank leading the way. He opened the door and helped me in, still holding Rabbit. I didn’t even try to put her in her own seat. I wasn’t letting her go. I strapped us both in and gently pushed her face further into my chest to drown out the loud noise of the blades. Frank sat beside me and spoke into his headpiece, letting our group know Rabbit was safe and to leave the building as quickly and unobtrusively as possible. I knew that the multiple diversions would disappear quickly; unexplained water leaks, stuck doors and a broken-down elevator would all suddenly clear up and the people we had in the building would quietly disappear as per Frank’s plans. I felt the immense swell of relief as the chopper lifted off and the hospital quickly disappeared from view. It was then that I was able to draw a deep, relaxed breath. We had done it. She was safe in my arms. My hands kept running small, soothing circles over Rabbit’s back and my lips never left her head, kissing, nuzzling, whispering words of comfort I wasn’t even sure she could hear. I felt how tightly her hands were clinging to my neck, and how violently her body was trembling. The front of my shirt was soaked with her tears.
Leaning down, I found her ear. “I have you, Rabbit. It’s okay, baby. It’s over. We’re going home now. You’re safe.” Her entire body shuddered in my arms and I tightened my grip. I couldn’t get her close enough. Any space between us was too much. I continued rocking her gently and, gradually, I felt the tremors slow down, although her grip on my neck didn’t lessen. I sat watching the landscape fly by, grateful for the miles that were now separating us from him. The feeling of contentment that I was able to hold and caress her, and have her close again, was overwhelming.
From the moment I realized that, for certain, she was in danger, I had been in agony. Listening to her broken voice on the incoming-only emergency line I had set up, begging me to bring her home, had torn up my soul in ways I had never experienced. The deep ache I’d felt in my chest was indescribable. Each day that passed had only made the feeling more powerful and today had been especially intense.
I felt one of her hands leave my neck and cup my cheek. I looked down into her beautiful, tear-stained face and imitated her action, my fingers stroking her damp skin. Her other hand pulled on the nape of my neck and I leaned down. “You came for me,” her awed voice whispered. “You came. You didn’t send someone else.”
I nodded.
“I knew you could do it, Joshua. I’m so proud of you. You did it. For me. Thank you.”
I stared down at her, speechless. Her first words spoken out loud were to praise me. Shaking my head, I leaned down and kissed her gently. “I found that reason you hoped I would find one day, Rabbit. You’re that reason.”
Her hand reached up and tenderly wiped under my eye. It was only then I realized I was crying as well.
I leaned down again. “I’m never letting you go, Rabbit. Ever.”
She smiled up at me, her own eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t want you to.”
My lips twitched up into my own smile. “Good to know.”
Rabbit fell asleep nestled in my arms and I took the time to study her. She looked so tired, with dark circles under her eyes that I could see even with the makeup she was wearing. She was dressed in a navy-colored suit with a plain white blouse under it. I remembered her dislike of navy, black and brown and hoped Cecilia had kept away from those colors when she picked up some new things for Rabbit. I also noticed she was thinner again; her body felt far too light in my arms. The few pounds she had gained were gone as well as at least another five or so. I could feel my anger building. Her hair was up in a tight knot on the back of her head and my fingers itched to find the pins holding it in place and free it. But I didn’t want to disturb her, so I waited. Her little hand was clasped tightly in mine and I softly stroked over her knuckles. My fingers stilled as they brushed over metal and I looked down to see the narrow gold band on her finger. I frowned. That was new. And, it didn’t belong there. I wanted it gone as well. I pulled on it but it was tight on her finger. Gently, I held up her hand studying it. Had the bastard purposely made the ring too small so it couldn’t be removed easily? Cursing under my breath, I tried to work the ring off but it wouldn’t budge. I gritted my teeth and resisted the desire to use my strength to pull it off. But that would frighten her and I didn’t want that. Instead, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the welcomed feeling of having her close again, and thinking back on the past couple days.
This morning, after yet another sleepless night, the enormity of what we were about to do had hit me. I was going to get into a helicopter and leave the property. Even the thought caused a sweat to break out on my brow and my hands to shake. The plan could go ahead without me; either Cecilia or Trevor could be the person to meet Rabbit in the stairwell but I knew it should be me. I needed to do this for myself and for Rabbit. I needed her to know she meant more to me than a phobia. That I could overcome it for her. For us.
Frank had joined me at the window, holding a cup of coffee. “It’s gonna be fine, Joshua,” he grunted. “I’ve scoped it out, and my people are all in place. It’ll be a walk in the park. I’m gonna give her the card and she is going to walk to the stairwell. My people will be on the other floors, cleaning up all the ‘spills’ and taking care of the problems that have happened to block the stairwells. And since that one can only be accessed after the second floor, it’s rarely used so the chances of anyone being in it are slim anyway. I’ll join you on the roof and off we’ll go.”
Frank chuckled. “Well, I doubt the first one is gonna happen. That fucker is so anal; he wouldn’t think to suddenly change her daily routine. He has it set in stone for the next two bloody months. We’ve done everything right, Joshua. We’ve watched her, we know her schedule. We didn’t move too quickly. We’ve planned this carefully. If he did suddenly change something, well let’s just say, I’ve got some backup plans. If there is an emergency, I already have a backup for that as well. Just like the library. We’ve thought it all out, Joshua. One way or another, your little lady is going to be home with you tonight.”
I nodded and looked at him. “What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get in the chopper or, even worse, can’t get out on the other end?”
Frank took a deep swig of his coffee and looked back at me steadily. “I know your story, Joshua. Think of it this way. This is the easiest fucking way to make yourself do this. You are gonna walk over there,” he indicated the waiting chopper, “and get in. Your pilot is going to fly us out of here and we’ll be gone so fast you won’t have time to panic. And, on the other end, your girl will be there, needing you. If that isn’t enough of an incentive, I’m not sure what is or what could ever be.”
Into The Storm Page 21
