by Nikki Ashton
“He was absolutely paralytic with drink when you put him to bed,” Adam said. “It is possible he didn’t realise it was her.”
I’d shook my head and swiped at the tears. “Well he should have, I’m his wife.”
“You really think he was capable of even…you know.” He frowned at me and I wanted to smack him across the face.
“You would believe him, he’s a man. You men stick together,” I snapped.
“Hey,” Rachel soothed. “That’s not what Adam’s saying. He’s just wondering if Elijah was actually capable of having sex with anyone.”
“Doesn’t matter, he was naked, she was naked and she was riding him like he was a stallion that she was breaking in and I won’t ever stop seeing that in my head.”
It was only a few days after that I went off to London. Elijah had bombarded me with calls and texts, as well as turning up at Rachel’s flat at all hours of the day, but I’d been stubborn and wouldn’t listen, deleting every text before I’d even read it. He didn’t stop when I got to London, with the calls and texts, but he couldn’t come around, because I’d sworn everyone to secrecy on where I’d gone. Finally, after three months, the day arrived when I didn’t get a call or a text and when I crawled into bed, I cried so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. I don’t know what I expected – that’d he find me using a Private Investigator, or force my family to tell him where I was so he could take me back home. All I knew was that day was as heart breaking as the day I’d found them together.
I knew though, that hindsight was a wonderful thing and there was nothing I could do to change things. Elijah had told me in our last conversation he’d moved on, and I knew from the steely glaze in his eyes that he meant it. I was his past and there was no going back for us, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to anyway. Too much time had gone by and I’d never truly trust him again, whether I believed his version of events or not. Actually, I had no clue what his version of events was as I’d never given him the respect of listening to it. All I’d ever heard were the words ‘I didn’t do it’, which based on the fact I caught Lauren on top of him, giving it everything she had, seemed to be a ridiculous statement.
“You sure you don’t need me for anything?” Claudia asked, breaking me from my reverie.
I looked up and saw she had her bag and a folder in her arms.
“I’m going to get those light fittings,” she reminded me.
“Oh God, yeah. Sorry, I was thinking about the baby’s room,” I lied. “No, I don’t need you and thanks for going.”
The light fittings I’d ordered for the lounge and dining room had failed to arrive, the company I’d used telling me some crap about the van breaking down and not being able to get the lights to me for another week. After giving them the benefit of my advice on having a contingency in place, or at least having more than one van, I threw a tantrum and cancelled the order which meant Claudia now had to go directly to a distributor to get them. I realised it meant I was going to be paying a little more, but it was my tantrum so I had decided I’d take the hit on it and not pass the extra cost onto Tino and Sophie.
“No problem, it’ll be nice to get out for a while. I feel like these are the only four walls I’ve seen for the last month. Although if you hadn’t had a little strop-.”
“I still wouldn’t have the lights,” I interjected. “They’d still be a week away and I want the lounge and dining room finished for when Sophie comes over on Wednesday.”
Claudia rolled her eyes, but grinned. “Okay, I’ll see you in the morning. Unless you want me to bring them back here tonight.”
“God no,” I said, waving her away. “You won’t get back until late. Just bring them with you tomorrow.”
“Okay, will do.”
We said our goodbyes and Claudia left me alone, looking at a huge six feet by three feet painting that I wanted to hang above the fireplace in the dining room. I’d already nailed the fixings to the wall, but the task of hauling the painting up there was going to be difficult on my own. I supposed I could wait for Claudia in the morning, but the more I could get done, the sooner I could start on the bedrooms that had all been decorated the week before.
Looking through the window I saw Anthony, Elijah’s right-hand man, and wondered whether he would help me. He’d only just come on site for the day and didn’t look to be as mud splattered as Bob or Marty.
I went over to the window and opened it up. “Hey, Anthony,” I called, gaining his attention. “Any chance you could help me to put up a picture? I’m struggling on my own.”
He grinned at me and nodded. “Yeah sure. Give me a few minutes to check in with Eli and I’ll be right in. The dining room?”
“Please.”
“No problem.”
Five minutes later, I was positioning some photograph frames along the top of the beautiful Italian, Rossetto sideboard, when I heard the door open behind me. Swinging around and expecting to see Anthony, I was shocked to find Elijah standing in his stocking feet and wiping his hands on a towel.
“Oh, I thought Anthony was going to help me,” I blustered.
“Yeah, he was, but I thought it was a good chance for us to clear the air. I don’t want to be twisted up with anger over this any longer, Amy.”
“You don’t?” I asked, hating that I felt a little skip of hope.
“Nope. We should at least be able to be civil with each other. We’ve both moved on.”
The hope fizzled away and I was left with the feeling of despondency as Elijah hung the towel on the door handle and walked toward me.
“Okay,” he said, giving me a smile. “Is that it?”
He nodded at the stunning abstract in copper, bronze, and orange tones.
“I want it over the fireplace, please.”
Elijah looked at it carefully and then up at the wall where I’d planned for the painting to go.
“You’ve measured and level checked the fixings?” he asked.
I was about to swear at him for doubting my ability, but saw the smirk on his lips. He knew how fixated I was on that sort of thing, how I measured and level checked at least three times before hanging anything. Even our calendar at home had always had to be hung just right.
“Yes I have,” I replied, giving him wide eyes. “Unless you want to double check.”
“Nope, I think you’ve probably already triple checked it, so we’re good to go.” He padded over to the painting and bent to lift one end. “Come on then, I can’t do it all on my own.” Elijah nodded at the other end which he wanted me to lift.
“On three.”
I nodded and waited for his command.
“One, two, and lift. Fuck that’s heavy,” he groaned as we moved it against the wall, hooking the wire over the fixings.
“I know, that’s why I needed help. It’s actually got pieces of bronze in it.”
“Yeah?” Elijah stood back and studied the painting. “I like it. You choose it or Tino and Sophie.”
I felt my face heat a little as I replied. “I did.”
“You always did have good taste,” he replied, still looking at the picture. “Yeah, I really do like it. And it’s straight.”
He turned to me and grinned.
“Of course it is, I triple checked it remember.”
“Oh yeah.”
Elijah’s deep laugh reverberated through the room and I felt sure I could feel my heart vibrate from the sound. I’d always loved his real laugh. Not the polite one he often gave to customers or people he didn’t really know, but the deep belly laugh that boomed and filled everyone with joy at the sound of it. He was giving that laugh to me now, and it was making my heart rate speed up.
“Got to say, Amy, it’s all looking amazing. This room especially, I love the bronze theme.”
I looked at the huge, glossy, chocolate coloured table with its brushed bronze finish and the quilted, bronze leather effect legs and matching chairs, the gorgeous bronze sideboard and the crackle bronze and bl
ue wallpaper that covered the wall opposite the arched windows, and I had to agree, it looked spectacular.
“I just hope Tino and Sophie like it,” I said, readjusting a blue vase that sat next to the fireplace.
“Did they not agree to the design already? Is this not the original designer’s?”
I shook my head. “No, he didn’t leave them with any pictures or mood boards, nothing except a few swatches of fabric they’d decided on. Plus, I told them I’d rather work with my own ideas.”
“You didn’t have much time though, surely it’d have been easier,” Elijah said, peering at one of the framed photographs.”
“I’d have been working from what they could remember, so I think doing it myself was a better option.”
Elijah looked around the room again and then up to the ceiling. “What’s happened there?”
My gaze followed his and I sighed, telling him the story of the light fittings.
“So you’ve got to get the electrician back in?” he asked, arms folded across his chest as he continued looking up.
“Unfortunately. I could do it, he’s done all the wiring and capped it off for now, but I’d rather get the expert back.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to electrocute anyone – again.”
I burst out laughing. “It wasn’t my fault,” I cried.
“Oh come on Amy, you were the one who thought wrapping the bloody plug in Cellotape would be okay.”
I giggled as I remembered the plug on my hairdryer, and how it had cracked when I’d dropped it against the tiled floor in our bathroom. I hadn’t had time to find a new plug and put it on, so had wrapped tape around it, hoping it would be okay, and it had been, for me anyway.
“If you hadn’t felt the need to blow dry your hair,” I teased. “You wouldn’t have used it and so would never have been electrocuted.”
“Hey, now there’s nothing wrong with a man blow drying his hair.”
“Oh and that’s why you have yours so short now is it, because you love blow drying it?”
Elijah grinned and ran a hand over his head. “Maybe. The point is, I almost died because you didn’t use electrical tape.”
“It was the noise you made when it threw you back across the room. I thought you’d sneaked another woman into the flat or something.”
I started to full on laugh, thinking about Elijah’s squeal when he’d turned on the hairdryer. It was loud and high pitched and I really did think there might be another woman in the bedroom with him. That thought then made me think of Lauren and I felt a momentary pain in my chest, but when I heard Elijah laughing again, I let it pass.
“It was a shock – literally.”
“Well I’m sorry, but you’re still here to tell the tale, so it wasn’t that bad.”
The laughter died on his lips, a small smile remaining and he nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He paused and looked back at the painting. “Anyway, I’d better get back to work.”
“It’s starting to look good out there,” I said, turning my gaze to the window. “The terraces particularly.”
Elijah had created a beautiful outdoor living space for the family, with lights inlaid in the Italian slate slabs and underneath the L-shaped, cushioned seating areas that he’d built on both terraces. Also, each one had a shaped border, the South full of palms, ferns, and hedging, while the North had a huge Japanese maple tree which had needed to be craned in.
“Yeah, there’s a bit of a way to go with them yet, but they’re getting there.” He ducked his head and brushed his foot against the wooden floor, before looking back up at me. “Well, like I said, I’d better get back outside. You sure you don’t need anything else.”
I shook my head and with a smile he left, and it took everything in me not to shout out ‘yes, I need you to hug me’, but I didn’t, because what was the point – we’d both moved on.
Elijah
aged 28
“You ready or what?” Sam snapped, poking his head around my lounge door.
“Okay, I’m coming, I’m coming.” I snagged my wallet and keys and followed him out into the hall. “What the hell’s got you in such a bad mood?”
“I’m not in a bad mood. I just don’t want to be late.”
Sam and I were both booked in for tattoos at Heaven & Ink in town and for some reason, Sam appeared to want to get there about an hour before our appointment.
“Something has upset you,” I pushed. “You’re not nervous are you?”
I nudged him with my elbow and he walked past me through the front door.
“Why the fuck would I be nervous about having a tattoo?”
I looked at him and grinned. He had as many as I did – every one we’d had done had been together and today we were both getting something done on our back or that had been the plan anyway, I now had other ideas.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “Just trying to figure out what’s wrong.”
“Like I said, nothing. Just pissed off with waiting for you.”
His face pretty much told me to shut the fuck up, so I rolled my eyes instead, and got into his car. As soon as I did, I had an idea what might be upsetting him. The seat was almost pushed up to the dashboard and there was strong smell of perfume. It was obviously women trouble so I was most definitely keeping out of that. I had enough of my own.
“You still getting the fox?” Sam asked as he drove us toward town, manoeuvring through the Saturday afternoon traffic
“Yeah, but not on my shoulder blade.”
Sam glanced at me, his brow lined with a frown. “I thought you were going to start a nature theme.”
“I am going to, but I’m not having the fox there.”
“So, where?” he asked impatiently.
I paused not feeling ready to say the words, but what would be the point of delaying it.
“I’m going to see if Isaac can cover my heart tattoo.”
“What?”
“Sam, watch the fucking road,” I bellowed, as the car in front of us slammed on its brakes.
Sam followed suite and then stared at me. “No way.”
I nodded. “Yep, it’s time.”
“Well fuck me.”
“Yeah, well by the mood you’re in, it appears whoever you’ve had in this car didn’t. So shut up and concentrate on the road.”
As we walked into Heaven & Ink I felt a peace come over me that I always did when I was about to be inked. The scratching pain of the needle didn’t bother me, it calmed me because I knew at the end of it I’d be getting something amazing that gave me confidence. Not that I was particularly lacking in it. I was decent enough looking, had a good body through manual work and jogging every day, but the pictures on my skin were all important and represented my life. They represented that I’d lived – I’d got through it, and that gave me confidence that I could achieve anything. Yeah, Heaven & Ink was my happy place. I’d even tried to get Amy to come and get inked once, but as soon as Jethro, the guying doing it, turned on the needle she passed out. She loved my tats though and while they’d increased a lot over the five years we’d been apart, I’d still had a fair few back then.
“Hi guys,” Scarlett, the receptionist called, her ruby-red lips turning up into a huge smile.
“Hey Scarlett,” Sam said, giving her his best flirty grin. He’d fancied her for ages, but she was well and truly loved up with Isaac, the guy who was doing my tattoo. It was Isaac’s step-dad, Dex, who officially owned the place, but he’d hung up his tattoo gun a while ago, and was now enjoying a quiet but chaotic life with his wife and kids.
“Hi Scarlett,” I added. “How are you?”
Scarlett grinned and placed a hand on her stomach. “I’m great thanks.”
I narrowed my eyes at where her hand was placed, but she just shrugged and looked over her shoulder. My gaze followed hers to see Isaac approaching.
“Hi guys,” he said, holding out a hand. “Been a while.”
“Yeah,” Sam replied. “Eli is always working
and as we always agreed to have them done together, I’ve had to wait.”
“Well I’m ready for you Eli. Scar, can you check if Topper is ready for Sam?” He leaned into his girlfriend and kissed her cheek. “You okay?”
She nodded and stroked his cheek before picking up the reception phone.
“So, we still going with the fox on the shoulder blade?” Isaac asked.
“Yeah, but a slight change of plan.” Isaac furrowed his brow. “Can you cover up the heart on my chest?”
Isaac blew out a breath and Sam chuckled.
“Yep, that’s what I thought,” my brother said.
“Are you sure?” Isaac asked, grabbing the back of his neck. “That’s an amazing tatt, Dex will be pissed you’re covering up some of his work.”
I sighed, in total agreement with Isaac. Dex Michaels was a world-renowned tattoo artist and had his own very small group of customers when he opened up Heaven & Ink, preferring to let all the other guys do the inking. I’d been lucky enough to be one of that elite group after I’d won a competition he was running, to have a tattoo done by him. It was supposed to be a one off, but Dex and I hit it off and ended up going for a few beers and he kept me on as a client, until a couple of years ago when he handed everything over to Isaac, and Isaac it had to be said, was almost as good as his step-father.
“Yeah I know,” I replied. “But I guess it’s time I moved on.”
The lump in my throat was huge, as I thought about what I was going to do. I knew it was time, but it was my tribute to the woman who would always be in my soul. It didn’t matter that we weren’t together any more, we had been everything to each other for all the formative years of our lives. But for one drunken night, we’d still be together, I knew it in my bones. The problem was, time had moved on and now I also had to.
Isaac nodded. “Okay, whatever you want, but it’s a fucking beautiful tattoo.”
“I agree,” Sam added. “I think he should keep it.”
“Well, I’ve made my mind up, so let’s go.”
Isaac gave me a sad smile and then led the way to his studio.
