by Nikki Ashton
“I’m not a pansy. I’ve impregnated my wife, it takes a real man to impregnate his woman. Who have you impregnated, eh Samuel?”
Sam flopped his head back against the sofa and growled, “Shut the fuck up.”
Elijah started to laugh and flicked at Sam’s ear. Sam then elbowed him in the ribs, causing Elijah to throw a punch at his brother’s stomach, but he was so drunk, he missed and punched the sofa instead.
“Okay,” I snapped. “Enough of behaving like children. I’m getting you a pint of water each and you’re going to drink it.”
They both started to giggle like little girls, Sam even snorting at one point. By the time I got back with their water they were both fast asleep, snoring like a Wart Hog and a power saw.
At around three in the morning I felt a cold arm wrap around me and cold feet rub against my own.
“Elijah,” I hissed. “You’re bloody freezing.”
“Sorry,” he whispered into my ear, before kissing my neck.
“And you can get that dick away from my arse too,” I sighed, feeling his almost erection press against me. “It’s not like you could do anything with it anyway.”
“I could if I really thought about it,” he grumbled, pushing closer to me.
I giggled knowing he really couldn’t, not when he’d drunk as much alcohol as he and Sam evidently had earlier.
“You really couldn’t. Now go to sleep.” Moving around to get a little comfier, I reached a hand behind me and stroked his face. “Night. Love you.”
“Love you more,” Elijah replied, sounding sleepy.
With a contented sigh, I closed my eyes and started to drop back to sleep.
“Amy,” Elijah suddenly said, his hand splaying across my belly.
“Hmm.”
“I love you more than you’ll ever know, and I can’t wait until the baby comes.”
Feeling my heart flutter, I turned over to face him, looking at his face in the dim light of the room. He looked drowsy and still a little drunk, but to me he looked beautiful. He always had, but with his love for me shining from his gaze, it made his beauty more defined.
“I can’t wait either,” I whispered, tracing my finger down his nose. “I know you’re going to be an amazing daddy.”
“You think?” he asked, excitement in his voice.
“I do. I know it.”
“And you’ll be a gorgeous, sexy, mummy. I can’t wait to see you nursing our baby. I’m so bloody excited about it. Some days it actually makes my stomach ache.”
I leaned forward and kissed him softly, loving the little sigh he gave as I did. “No regrets then that we got pregnant so soon after the wedding?”
“Not one. I admit it wasn’t what I thought we’d be doing, having a baby at our age. I thought we might travel and buy a house first, but I’m more than happy it’s turned out the way it has. We’ll still be young enough to travel when our kids leave home.”
“We’ve not even had this one yet,” I said, placing my hand over his on my stomach.
“Nothing wrong in planning. I’m thinking three years between each one.”
“Oh you are? And how many times do you plan on impregnating me, as you put it?”
Elijah laughed softly and mused on my question for a few seconds.
“I think,” he finally said, “maybe four times.”
“Just the four?” I asked on a laugh.
“Yep and if you weren’t already impregnated with my super swimmers, I’d impregnate you now.”
“Believe me love, I doubt you’d be able to get it in, in your current state. Your super swimmers are probably pissed too, you’ve had so much alcohol.”
“Want me to prove it?” he asked, his words slurred now with sleep rather than vodka.
“Maybe tomorrow,” I soothed, kissing his forehead. “Now close your eyes and it’ll soon be morning.”
“I’m not five you know.”
Elijah gave a little moan and snuggled closer and within seconds his breathing was heavy, followed by gentle snores.
I gave him one last kiss and then closed my own eyes and thinking about how amazing our future was going to be, fell into a deep sleep next to the man I loved more than anything.
Amy
aged 28
I wasn’t totally sure that I was doing the right thing, but I was going on a date with Leon. He’d called me a couple of days after we’d met and we had talked for almost an hour. He was funny and sweet and interesting, talking about his job in pharmaceuticals, his love of music, particularly nineties dance music, and his obsession with Laurel & Hardy – okay that one I could take or leave, but I was still interested in what he had to say.
“Wow,” Leon said as I got out of the taxi I’d insisted on taking to meet him. “You look amazing.”
I’d worn skinny jeans and a floaty top and felt a little embarrassed. I’d made an effort with my makeup and hair, but the clothes I’d had for ages and were nothing special.
“Thank you,” I replied with a smile. “You look nice too.”
And he did. He wore grey trousers which were fairly snug and a long-sleeved white polo shirt, which emphasised his broad chest. He wasn’t as muscular as Elijah, but it was evident that he worked out. Mentally slapping myself around the face for even thinking about Elijah, I smiled and walked toward Leon, giving him a big smile.
“Shall we?” he said, indicating to the bar.
I nodded and followed him in. It was an out of town bar but very popular, judging by the number of cars on the car park. However, despite it being fairly full inside it was quiet, everyone talking with hushed voices, as Billie Holiday played softly in the background. There were candles everywhere and the smell of sandalwood was dominant, but not too strong, and all the tables were tall high-tops, with stools to sit on.
“It’s lovely,” I said, turning to Leon.
“I’ve never been before,” he admitted with a grin. “But I heard they served amazing pork scratchings with every round of drinks.”
I started to giggle as I saw the excitement on his face. “I’d have bought you a packet at The Miller if I’d known.”
“I know, stupid reason to want to come to a bar, but apart from the snacks, I’d heard it was a really nice place.”
I looked around and nodded. “Yes, it is. Good choice.”
We found a table and as soon as I was settled on a stool, Leon went to the bar to get our drinks. I felt a little anxious, because although I’d had my little fling with Finlay in Scotland, this was the first proper ‘first date’ I’d been on in years. I fell into bed with Finlay after too much wine at dinner, and as for Seb, we’d hooked up the first time on a work’s night out. The last first date I’d had was with Elijah and that thought brought a wave of sadness. Banishing the memory, I pulled on a smile as Leon returned.
“No pork scratchings?” I asked.
“No,” he cried. “They’ve run out. I told the guy behind the bar, I’d only brought you here for the pork.”
My eyes widened as Leon looked back at me in complete horror.
“Shit, no I didn’t mean that. I meant-.”
“Leon,” I replied, placing a hand on his arm. “It’s fine, I know exactly what you meant.”
“Sorry,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “I’m a little bit nervous.”
That surprised me because Leon seemed so confident. He held himself straight, walked tall, and his expensive suit he’d been wearing in the pub when we met, was one that screamed success – well tailored and fit to perfection.
“You’re not are you?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I really am. You’re gorgeous Amy, and seem lovely. I don’t want to mess this up.”
There was a vulnerability in his tone as his eyes searched my face. I smiled and hoped it was what he was looking for.
“Well, you’re doing okay so far,” I replied softly. “And I promise you, there is no need to be nervous around me, I’m really not that great.”
“Ah,” Leon
said, pulling his stool a little closer. “I think you’re wrong. I think you are that great.”
“You don’t know me well enough to say that, Leon.”
He shrugged. “I’m a great judge of character.”
I let out a small laugh and took a sip of my wine to avoid having to tell him I wasn’t, because if I was, I’d have listened to Elijah five years ago and not run away. But, that was behind me now, I was going to enjoy my first date with Leon.
“Okay,” I said, sitting up straight and placing my palms on the table. “Let’s play twenty questions and get to know each other.”
Leon raised his brow and put his drink down. “You’re on. You first.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t get arrested.” I held my side from laughing at Leon’s tale of having to run home naked after his friends had pinched his clothes when they’d gone skinny dipping in the park lake.
We’d finished our twenty questions and had been enjoying chatting for over an hour. Leon was funny and interesting and I was enjoying myself.
“I did see a police car,” Leon answered, “so I hid behind a bush. I did think the old lady, whose garden the bush was in, would probably call them, but I didn’t hang around to find out.”
“Well, I’ve never done anything that scandalous,” I replied, running a finger around the rim of my wine glass. “I’ve always been a good girl.”
“Oh come on, you must have some skeletons in your cupboard.”
I shook my head. “Honestly, I don’t.”
Not unless you counted me and Elijah having sex in the school sick bay, or me and Elijah having sex in my auntie June’s downstairs loo while everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her on the other side of the door, or me and Elijah-.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Leon replied, breaking through my memories. “So, you said you were divorced five years ago, has there been no one serious since?”
“No,” I sighed, wondering at myself for actually telling Leon that I’d been married – it had been one of his twenty questions though, so I couldn’t lie. “I dated someone for a couple of months when I lived in London, but that’s all it was – dating.”
I thought back to Seb, who’d evidently wanted more, and realised now that I probably led him on a little bit. I ended things so quickly after he’d mentioned a holiday together, the poor guy must have wondered what on earth he’d done wrong. The point was, he hadn’t; I hadn’t been ready to lay my heart open to the possibility of more heartache.
“And you’ve never married,” I stated, wanting to move the subject away from my love life.
Leon shook his head. “No. Never found the right person. I thought I had, but when we had an argument one time, she smashed up all my Laurel & Hardy DVDs.”
I looked at Leon’s face and burst out laughing. He looked devastated.
“I’m sorry,” I replied around my laughter. “You look heartbroken and I think it’s more about the DVDs than finding out she wasn’t the one.”
“Yeah, of course,” he cried, both his brows arching. “They were my pride and joy.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to stem my laughter. “Sorry, it must have been awful for you.”
“It was. I almost cried.”
My eyes widened as I looked at him, all of a sudden wondering whether we actually had enough in common for another date. I coughed nervously and shifted on my stool, but as I did, Leon started to laugh, deep from within his chest.
“Your face,” he chuckled. “I know exactly what you were thinking, ‘what the hell have I let myself in for?’ You were, weren’t you?”
“No,” I retorted a little too quickly.
“You little liar.” Leon grinned at me and his eyes creased at the corners. “I didn’t really cry. I was bloody fuming with her and realised that someone who could do that, probably wasn’t a very nice person.”
I had to agree with him there. “It is a pretty nasty thing to do. How many were there?”
“About thirty.”
“Did you manage to replace them?” I asked, feeling bad for laughing.
“Yes, they do a boxset now with all of them in, so it wasn’t much of hardship to replace them. It wasn’t the DVDs as such, like I said it was the fact that she would do it, knowing how long it had taken me to collect them all.”
“Well, at least you found out before you asked her to marry you.”
“Yeah, I guess. That’s what’s really sad, I had been thinking about it, looking at rings, you know.”
Leon didn’t look too upset about the girl, but I could sense that not getting his happy ever after, was hard for him.
“You ever see her around?” I ask, thinking about how difficult I found it now I was back in town, seeing Elijah.
“No, she moved away, but I see her sister occasionally. Apparently, she’s on her second husband. The first left her for someone else, but her sister reckons the new husband is a good guy.”
“Hopefully her temper has calmed down,” I offered.
“Hopefully.” Leon nodded. “Or maybe I just wasn’t the right one for her either. Anyway, less of this misery, talking about our exes. Let’s talk about our next date.”
His gaze was steady as he waited for my response. My own eyes drew to a twitch in his jaw and then to his lips, the top one being slightly fuller than the bottom one and I felt a desire to kiss them. Quickly looking up to his eyes, I nodded.
“Yes, lets, I’m looking forward to it already.”
Leon leaned forward, gave me a soft kiss on my cheek and it felt good. I wanted this and for the first time in a long time, was excited for what was to come.
Elijah
aged 28
Mia had been with her mum for almost two weeks, and I was miserable. We spoke on the phone every day, and I missed her – well I had at first, but for the last week I’d realised that I was enjoying having my time to myself, and not having to think about whether I should really leave it three days before I saw her, or whether I was in the mood to invite her over, knowing she’d want to stay. Plus, although she’d only been living in my house for two days before she left for her mum’s, I was glad to get my space back again. There were no more knickers strewn over the radiators, the kitchen and bathroom were clean and I didn’t feel guilty about going running for an hour every night. Not that Mia had ever said anything, but the two nights she’d been in the house, I’d seen the disappointment that she’d tried to hide with a smile, when I said I was going out for an hour or so.
It also meant I didn’t feel guilty about Sam, Lucas, and Alex coming around to watch the Boxing on the TV, and get a takeaway curry. Mia didn’t really like boxing, she thought it a bit too violent and curry gave her heartburn, so it was another guilt free evening.
And so, there was the reason for my misery – I wanted to go back to seeing her two or three times a week, and was dreading her coming back. I realised I should have manned up and told her at the time, me asking her to move in hadn’t actually been that. It had been me being a dick to my dick of a brother and poor Mia had gotten the wrong end of the stick.
“When’s Mia back?” Alex asked, pouring himself a beer.
“No idea,” I sighed. “Her mum’s hip is broken, so unless they employ a nurse, she’ll need to stay there until Val is back on her feet.”
“She could always come and stay here,” Lucas said, literally with his tongue in his cheek.
“Oh you’re so fucking funny,” I grumbled as I threw a can to Sam.
“I think the fact that he doesn’t actually want Mia here, kind of negates that idea,” Sam chipped in.
“Shut the fuck up, Sam. I never said that.”
I gave my brother a stare that would make most men piss their pants, but not Samuel. No, he had balls bigger than most men I knew, and he still managed to make me feel like the little brother without even trying.
“You didn’t have to,” he replied, popping his can open. “Your face says it all every time she’s mentio
ned.”
“I’m not having this fucking conversation with you again.” I snatched up a can for myself and opening up, swallowed down a huge gulp.
“Well I think you should. It’s your fucking life you prick. Why be saddled with someone who you don’t even love?”
Alex sucked in a breath, while Lucas groaned.
“I do love her.”
“Yeah, but not enough little brother. Not like you should do.”
“I’ve got to admit,” Alex said, flopping back onto the sofa. “You’re not the same with her as you were with you know who.”
“You can say her damn name, Al.” I ran a hand over my head and sighed. “Look where it got me, loving Amy that much – no-fucking-where, that’s where.”
“But you did-.”
“Lucas,” I snapped, stopping him mid-sentence. “Don’t even say what I think you’re going to say.”
“Luc is right,” Alex said loftily. “You got caught with your boxers down, so it was kinda your fault.”
“How many fucking times. Lauren took advantage of me.” My hand gripped the can of beer so tightly, I felt it crumple slightly, the metal digging into my palm.
“We know,” Sam sighed. “We believe you, don’t we, guys?”
Sam looked pointedly at Lucas and Alex, silently warning them.
“Of course we fucking do,” Lucas said. “He knows that and knows that I’m just pulling his chain. Don’t you Eli?”
I nodded. I did know it, but when he joked about not believing me, it pissed me off. We’d talked about it many times over the years and all three of them had supported me, Lucas had even been to see Amy’s parents, begging them to get her to talk to me, but they wouldn’t listen, only caring about how heartbroken their daughter was.
“Can we change the subject?” I asked. “I just want to have a good night, some beers, a curry and the boxing – okay?”
They all nodded or grunted as we settled back for the evening.
