“I can tell you one thing,” Emily continued. “Darin knows the Lord, and he won’t marry someone who doesn’t.” She offered one of the church student Bibles that were available for taking to Angel. “Start in the Book of John.” Angel kept her hands tightly clenched.
“You know, it’s just like you Christians to talk in code. I have no idea what that means, to ‘know the Lord,’ and quite frankly it creeps me out. I came here to find Darin, not to get some pious speech from some freak. Darin will marry me. Just as soon as he gets away from people like you. You all remind me of those aliens in Toy Story who worshipped The Claw.”
Emily winced at Angel’s harsh words. She closed her eyes and prayed for peace, trying to see Angel for the hurt child she was within, but the taunts of her own childhood haunted her. While the other girls had cool jeans and stylish haircuts, Emily wore long dresses and had stringy hair. She was a freak, and the words still cut like a knife.
Pastor Fredericks emerged from the church, and Emily saw her escape.
“Pastor!” she called. “I’d like you to meet Angel. She’s a friend of Darin Black’s and is looking for him. Maybe you could help her.” I certainly can’t.
Angel looked like a trapped animal, but she smiled and held out a hand. Obviously, Darin’s pastor might have some answers, and she wasn’t willing to risk rudeness with a man of the cloth.
“Excuse me,” Emily said. “It was nice to see you again, Angel.”
This was one rejection she hadn’t been prepared for. Darin had pursued her, Darin had asked her out. He’d actually said she would make cute babies—and now where was he? Long gone, like all the other men in her life. Only this one had left without a trace.
“Emily!” Grace waved at her from across the courtyard. The mere sight of Grace forced tears, as she was just another reminder that Emily had run another one off.
“Hi,” Emily said, emotionless.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m short, among other things.”
“What?” Grace’s brow furrowed. Emily couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to go through life looking like Grace. Or Angel. She was the kind of woman you walked right on by. She didn’t grab attention or make men do double takes. She just was. Emily sighed.
“Emily, did you hear me?” Grace’s voice jolted her.
“Do you see the leggy brunette over there? She’s looking for Darin.” Just like you came looking for Mike.
“I see her. So?” Grace shrugged.
“So it’s time for a change, I think. I’ll start with churches. I’ve been going to this one my whole life, and I’m quickly becoming known as a black widow, the kind of woman who swallows up men in her evil lair and spits them out a mere shell of themselves.”
Grace’s eyes twinkled. “You’re kidding me, right? You do not possibly believe you have any such reputation. Everyone loves you here. You can’t just leave because of what a few nasty people think. No one who knows you thinks anything like that. Darin called Mike and he sounded very excited about you two seeing each other. You don’t know that this woman means anything to him. You and Darin are still dating, right?”
Emily looked over toward Angel. “Not anymore apparently. I suppose I’ll be attending his wedding next.”
Grace was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, Emily. I’m sorry things happened the way they did with Mike. I never meant to get in between you and him.”
Emily shook her head, annoyed that she couldn’t keep her negativity to herself.
“No, Grace. I didn’t mean it that way. You know I didn’t mean it that way. God made you two for each other. I’m not thinking I got left behind, trust me. I’m just feeling sorry for myself today, a bit self-conscious. You were just the closest victim. I mean friend.” She smiled slightly.
“I don’t think you should be thinking about any major changes because of Darin. There is a place for you at this church, regardless of what happens with him.”
The words of comfort didn’t really register. She was like a broken record that her parents played when she was small, stuck in the same annoying groove. The only way to fix that was to knock the needle past the difficult spot, and that’s what Emily felt she needed to do.
“My parents are up in Oregon. They’ve been trying to get me to move. I’m thinking now I might go. I could get a new job, a cute little place of my own—I could afford it up there, you know.”
“You’re going to change everything because of Darin?”
Emily laughed. “No, not because of Darin, just because I’m questioning what kind of person I have become. Do you see Angel over there? Well, Grace, she is at the exact same point you were when you met Mike. She doesn’t know Jesus, doesn’t seem to want to, and I can’t see her broken heart. I don’t like her because she’s so hateful, but how would I expect her to act? I haven’t learned the lesson, and I think I need to get over this wall before I’ll ever be worthy of living for God. I know I’m redeemed, but I want to live that way. I saw you as a dangerous viper, a single mother who made an unforgivable mistake. I was totally wrong about you. I’m not the judge and jury, and yet I keep thinking that about other people.”
“I think you’re being hard on yourself, Emily. You were one of the first people to welcome me into this church. I’ll admit you were cold when I started, but you were the first one to warm up to me, really. The first one to understand Josh was more than just a youthful mistake.”
“I want to start again. I want to be a better Christian, a bolder Christian, and I don’t know how to do that here. Looking at you is just a reminder of my failure.”
“I’m shocked! I really feel you were responsible for changing Josh’s heart—which eventually changed mine.”
Emily blinked rapidly. “Really?”
“Ask Mike if you don’t believe me. Emily, you were vital in Josh’s life. You told him about God when you could have been fired for doing so. If you hadn’t planted the seeds for Josh, you wouldn’t have planted them for me either. Don’t ever deny God’s power in you.”
Emily pulled her hair into a makeshift ponytail, blinking back tears.
“Angel over there is a beautiful woman, but she’s not half the woman you are. Not even close,” Grace said.
“You know, I’ve heard that my whole life. You’re a sweet girl, Emily. You’re such a doll, Emily. What would the kids do without you, Emily? But I’m selfish underneath it all. Just once I want to hear I love you, Emily—and the man is there for me one week after he says it. Just once I want him to stick around, not walk off with someone who looks like you, Grace.”
Grace had tears in her eyes. “The right man won’t walk off. I promise you. And God will never leave you.” She looked over at Angel. “She’s very beautiful, but her heart is not. I can tell that from the scowl she wears. Look, Emily, there’s Darin now. He didn’t abandon you.”
Emily’s head snapped up and she saw Darin walking toward her. His expression changed when he noticed Angel standing beside Pastor Fredericks. Whomever he chose was his choice. She swallowed hard and waited. He hesitated, standing on the curb for a moment before offering a warm smile and a nod to Emily. His long legs then strode purposefully toward Angel.
She tried to smile at Grace. “I guess we have our answer, don’t we?”
“Don’t think that. We don’t know what is going on, Emily. It’s unusual for Angel to be here. I’m sure Darin’s just concerned.”
“Excuse me.” Emily jogged toward her car and climbed inside before her tears fell freely.
Eleven
Darin looked at Emily and the knot in his stomach tightened. He could see the pain in her eyes. He wanted to run and gather her into an embrace. But then he saw Angel. Angel talking to a pastor. It was a sight he never thought he’d see, and his feet stood planted. He hesitated only a moment before he walked toward Angel and Pastor Fredericks. From the corner of his sight, he saw Emily run, but he had to rely on God to fix that. Father, please be with her.
“Angel,
is everything okay?”
“Darin!” She burrowed herself into Darin’s chest. He unwittingly wrapped his arms around her and questioned Pastor Fredericks with his expression.
“What happened?”
“Your friend Angel was just telling me she didn’t get a job she was counting on,” Pastor Fredericks said. “We were talking about God’s will and disappointments.”
“You didn’t make the cheerleading team.”
Angel shook her head and sniffled. Her dark brown eyes were rimmed with red, and her nose had a touch of pink at the tip. She’d clearly been crying heavily for some time.
“Do you want to get some lunch and talk about it?” Darin asked.
Angel sniffled again and nodded.
“Darin, can I speak with you first?” Pastor Fredericks said, his forehead wrinkled.
“Sure. Angel, here are my keys. I’ll meet you in my car. It’s right over there.” Darin watched her walk away defeated, and his heart pained him. “What is it, Pastor?”
Pastor Fredericks rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I wanted to warn you about ‘missionary dating’ and how that applies to Angel.”
“I beg your pardon?” Darin had heard the term, but he hardly saw how it applied to them.
“A beautiful woman in trouble is a temptation that I’d be very cautious about, Darin. Angel is a nice girl, and I understand your friendship goes back a ways, but don’t let her neediness translate into the fact that only you can help her. Pray for her.”
“I’m not thinking I’m the only person.” He stood a bit taller. He didn’t like where this conversation was headed. He wasn’t some mealy-mouthed wimp who couldn’t handle talking to an ex-girlfriend. What was Pastor thinking? That Darin would be so overcome with lust he couldn’t control himself? The notion angered him. He had a responsibility to share Christ with her.
As if Pastor read Darin’s mind, he continued. “Maybe you should think about asking God to raise someone else up for Angel. Sometimes in our attempts to do God’s will, we end up buckling under the pressure of the outside world.”
“Pastor, I appreciate your concern, but I’m not sure you understand about Angel and me. We have a long history together, and I’m not interested in her that way.”
“I just watched Emily Jensen run from here, and she looked upset to me. You can’t straddle this fence, Darin. You’ve got to make a choice. Women don’t like to share. Remember Rachel and Leah?”
“I’m not going to make a choice between Angel’s salvation and dating Emily, if that’s what you’re saying. Emily will understand, she has a heart for people. You worry too much, Pastor.” Darin winked. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Emily.”
Pastor Fredericks crossed his arms. “I’m not worried about Emily being hurt so much as I am about you getting in too deep. Emily has a lot of friends, and she can handle whatever comes her way. She won’t wither away into a shell; that’s not what I’m saying.”
Darin shook his head. “I’ve been friends with Angel for two years. I’m not going to just abandon her when she’s hurting and I’ve got an opening for the gospel.”
“I’m not asking you to abandon her. I’m just asking you to be accountable. Being alone with a woman in that condition is a warning sign. That’s all I’m saying.”
Darin started to laugh again but saw that Pastor Fredericks was dead serious. He wasn’t interested in Angel that way, and without his mother there prodding things along, he felt completely safe.
“Don’t look at Angel as a project for faith, but as a woman God loves and will search for.”
Emily’s car exited the parking lot, and Darin hated the choices set before him. He knew that Pastor meant well, but he was obviously overreacting. Angel needed him right now, and what kind of Christian would he be if he just walked away?
“Thanks for the advice. Angel is waiting. I’ll pray on it tonight.”
Pastor lifted his brows. “I’d pray on it before I got to the car if I were you.” Nodding his head, he turned his attention to another congregation member and left Darin alone.
Rather than praying, Darin mumbled all the way to the car about Emily. What was going on? Didn’t she understand how rare it was for Angel to show up at a church? Couldn’t Emily see the blatant cry for help?
“Women!” Darin grumbled. “There’s just no making them happy.” He got to his car and saw that Angel had shed her conservative sweater. He swallowed hard at the sight of the tight pink T-shirt that hugged her curves and forced his eyes away.
“What took you so long?” she asked in a voice completely free of melancholy.
“Pastor had something to discuss with me.” He cleared his throat. “You know, Angel, why don’t we go talk with Pastor right now?”
Her tears started again. “I don’t want to talk about my failures with a man I never met before. I came to my friend.” The way she emphasized friend made his skin crawl, and suddenly he wished he’d heeded his pastor’s advice.
“Angel, look. I don’t want to hurt you, and I need you to know that God cares for you more than you can possibly imagine. But I can’t make this hurt go away. I can’t make things any better for you.”
“No, you won’t make it better. There was a time when you cared for me, and now that you’re religious and I’m not, you are just abandoning me.”
“That’s not true, Angel. I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Only in body. Not in spirit.” She moved closer to him. “But if that’s all you’re willing to part with.”
Darin backed away and hit his head on the window. “Ouch!” He rubbed his head, feeling like a child running from a scary stranger. “Angel, you’re just trying to tick me off, and it isn’t going to work.”
“Then why don’t you go find Miss Goody Two Shoes? Clearly, she’s all you can handle anyway.”
Darin’s heart caught in his throat. What was he doing? Angel didn’t want anything to do with the Lord? She wanted to find a way into Darin’s mind, and this was her way. The only way she knew. He looked at her with sympathy but knew he was not the man who could make a difference in her life. He was only endangering his. But a real man proved himself with self-control.
“Angel, you’re right. I’m not enough man for you. I suggest you find one, preferably with the name of Jesus. I’ll meet with you and Pastor Fredericks anytime. But I won’t meet with you alone again. I’m going to find Emily and salvage what we have left. I love her, Angel. Nothing you do or say will change that. She’s the one I want.”
Angel let out a string of curses. “It’s not enough that I have to lose my cheerleading status? You pick today to tell me we’re through? You are coldhearted, Darin Black. Coldhearted. God has done nothing for you. You’ve only become more selfish and more heartless. You think only of yourself. As always.”
Darin stared at her pert nose and angry eyes. “I’m sorry you feel that way. If you’ll excuse me, my girlfriend is waiting for me.”
“You wish she was. I saw her peel out of the parking lot. I may not have you, but you don’t have her either.” She crossed her arms, and Darin could see she had no intention of getting out. He grabbed his keys and left the car without another word.
Outside the church, he saw Mike Kingston, the fireman who’d saved his life. “Mike!”
“Hey, Darin. What are you up to?”
“I need a ride to Emily’s. Can you give me one?”
Grace came up beside her husband. “I don’t think Emily wants to see you right now.”
“You talked to her?” Darin asked.
“You walked over to your ex instead of Emily. Bad move. It’s been a week since you’ve called her. I’d say you’re in a bit of a pickle, Darin. We women do not like coming in second with a man we’re interested in. Worse yet, to come in second to another woman, that’s lethal.”
“If that ain’t the truth,” Mike added, shaking his head.
Darin felt as though he were getting everything he deserved. “I didn’t call her because I
did that drunk-driving speech this week, and I didn’t want her to have to explain to her colleagues that she knew me.”
Grace gave him a look of disgust. “Why don’t you let Emily make that choice? She’s a big girl, and she doesn’t need you deciding what’s best for her.”
Mike laughed. “You’ve heard about a woman scorned? What you haven’t heard is how they stick together.”
“I’m a terrible boyfriend. I admit that. This morning I had planned to make everything up to her, but one of my kids had a fire in his grandmother’s house last week. I had to make sure everything was settled with them.”
Mike kept shaking his head. “Darin. Darin. You have great excuses, but I can tell you from experience, they are all useless with a woman.”
Grace slapped her husband on the shoulder. “We women just want to know what’s going on. Emily just assumed you weren’t seeing each other anymore. Lack of communication is deadly, you know.”
“She said she didn’t think we were seeing each other anymore?”
“It’s been a week, Darin. What is she supposed to think?”
“We’ll give you a ride, but then you’re on your own. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.” Mike laughed.
“Where’s Josh?” Darin asked.
“He’s with his grandparents this weekend. Come on.” Mike led the way to his truck, and they all piled into the front seat. The ride to Emily’s was quiet. All the way there Darin rehearsed what he’d say to the woman he loved.
At Emily’s house, he felt confident enough to wave Mike and Grace off. The last thing he needed was an audience for his groveling session. He rang the doorbell and waited. There was no answer. Sighing, he sat at the edge of her porch and waited for her return. Mental note: Do not teach inner city boys about romance. It is not my gift.
He watched each car pass expectantly and glanced at his watch. He’d wait one hour, and if she hadn’t shown up yet perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. He kept thinking about Emily. About her enthusiastic smile that turned to a frown when he walked over to Angel. What could he have been thinking? Maybe he had more head injury than he gave himself credit for. As he mentally beat himself up, Emily pulled into the driveway. She got out of her car and looked at Darin. Then she walked around to the trunk and pulled out a few grocery bags.
Unbreakable Hope Page 9
