by Lisa Campell
How much she loved him.
“I see you heeded my words. That is indeed a pretty dress.”
Caroline went cold as that voice washed over her. Memories of the last time they had met came rushing back and she felt her skin crawl at the thought of how close he was standing.
It took all of her willpower to keep from flinching.
Tears threatened to fill her eyes.
Was this to become the rest of her life? Would she always feel dread and disgust in the presence of the man that would be her husband?
Slowly, she forced herself to look up at him. Smiling at him required more strength.
“Lord Whittaker,” she greeted.
He smiled at her. It seemed a harmless smile, but she knew the man better now. She knew what he was capable of, what his true intentions were.
“Do you not think it is high time you stopped addressing me so formally, my dear Caroline? After all, we are soon to be married. Please, call me Jeremiah.”
She would rather not.
“You look very lovely tonight, my dear. Like a countess. And possible future duchess. I’m pleased.”
He looked around for a moment before returning his gaze to her. “I was told you arrived with your aunt and Brandon. I do not see either of them.”
Caroline swallowed, wetting her dry throat. “Aunt Trudy went to say hello to some friends. She has only been gone a short while.”
“And what about the duke? Any inkling where he went?”
There was something about the way he was asking, the way he was looking at her, that she did not trust—could not trust.
She shook her head. “He does not answer to me.”
Lord Whittaker chuckled then. “I suppose he doesn’t. It is a good thing I came at this time. You will not be so lonely now that I am here. What do you say we step out for some air? We shall be back before the ball properly begins, I promise you. There’s still ample time left until the first dance.”
No.
But he was already tucking her arm around his, letting her know that she had no say in the matter.
The tears filled her eyes then and she blinked hard, holding them back.
Did her father realize how evil Whittaker was? Had he known the plight Caroline would suffer and gone ahead and promised her to this man anyways?
Or was he truly ignorant? Did he really believe in his heart of hearts that she would be happy, loved and cared for?
Caroline feared she might never get these answers.
Quietly, she followed Lord Whittaker out to the gardens. By the time they stepped out, she had succeeded in chasing the tears back.
She took a deep breath of the night air.
Perhaps coming out here wasn’t a terrible thing after all.
Away from the noise of the ballroom, she could listen to the stillness of the night. She could take in the dark skies filled with shining stars and the calm it all brought to her soul.
For a moment, she almost forgot that she was there with a man who she would rather stay miles away from.
“Have you received any word from your father lately?”
She shook her head as her reverie ended. “Not since the last time, no.”
“He should do better, write more often. I suppose he is simply ashamed of himself, considering all that he is putting your family through. He is well though, this I can assure you. He seems to be making great strides in getting back on his feet. Of course, I have something to do with it, seeing as he is soon to be my father-in-law.”
He moved closer to her. “I thought you would want to know. You strike me as the curious type.”
Caroline cleared her throat, swallowing. Was she supposed to say something in response?
“Thank you,” she muttered.
Lord Whittaker smiled down at her. “You are welcome. You are not wearing the gift I gave you. I had hoped to see it on you one more time.”
She could feel his gaze upon her bosom. Those green eyes had gone hooded and she worried he was thinking scandalous thoughts.
She instantly became alarmed. Surely, he didn’t intend to do anything scandalous?
She glanced around her and that was when she realized that there was no one else in sight. They must have walked past where the rest of the guests were and she hadn’t even realized it.
Something told her he had done it on purpose.
Heart hammering in her chest, especially as she struggled to keep herself from heaving heavily, she answered, “I told you, I do not entirely fancy those things.”
“You must know that matters not to me. It is rude to be given a gift and not wear it. I bought it because I wanted to see it on you. In a proper dress, on a beautiful night such as this one.”
If she wasn’t trying to save her father and family, Caroline would not have held her peace for so long. On the tip of her tongue were many words that she could say to Whittaker, but she kept them back.
With this in mind, she simply said, “My apologies. I shall be wearing it when next we meet.”
His lips spread into a grin. “Excellent. I shall let you off this time. You look so ravishing I find I do not have it in me to be mad at you.”
He tilted her chin with a finger then and began to lower his head.
Caroline’s heart went wild. Her stomach churned so hard it hurt. She shut her eyes tight, knowing what was coming. She sent fervent prayers up to the heavens for the grounds to open and swallow her up.
I can’t do this. I can’t let him kiss him. I can’t!
Alas, what could she do? She would marry him. He would be her husband and she would not be able to run away for long. It was best to get it over with, was it not?
She shut her eyes tighter when she felt his hot breath fan her face. Her hand balled into a fist by her side and she went rigid.
She willed herself to remain calm, for her heart to be still, but it was futile.
Just when his lips would have touched her, her eyes flew open and her hands moved of their own accord, pushing him away.
He staggered, falling a few steps backward.
She watched as his eyes widened, shock filling his face.
“No!” she said fiercely.
His lips curved in a smirk as he chuckled. “What?”
“I said no.”
He was still smiling. “Surely, you jest.”
She shook her head. “I am no jester.”
The color drained from his face as his smile transformed into the most fearsome frown she had ever seen.
“You must be a fool. What do you think this is? That you have a choice? How many more times shall I tell you, Caroline? You belong to me! Me! I own you and I shall do whatever I please with you!”
His eyes had gone bloodshot, his voice a growl. She feared that he would truly hurt her. She began to move backwards, wondering if anyone would come to her rescue if she cried for help. If she would be able to outrun him if she decided to try.
He followed her, one step forward for every one she took backward.
“I shall have you, Caroline. Not just a taste, but my fill of you. One way or another, you will be mine. Do you think any other respectable man will want to marry you when he learns I have had my way with you?” He laughed then. Loud, maniacal.
It chilled her to the bones.
“No one, Caroline. I will ruin you for every other man, including that duke you so shamelessly pine after. You will only be mine!”
She yelped as he lurched forward, taking her by surprise. She didn’t have the time to run. Strong arms held her in place and he began to lean into her again.
Caroline struggled with all her might, but he was too strong for her. The tears she had been trying to hold back fell freely.
“My lord, no! Please! Let me go!”
But he couldn’t hear her. She was certain he couldn’t. He was too far gone.
The more she struggled, the tighter his grip became.
Her heart broke as he finally succeeded in pulling her into him. Sh
e pressed her lips together as he crashed his mouth against hers, shutting her eyes closed once again.
She prayed, harder than she ever had.
Holy Virgin, please! Help me!
The heavens must have heard her answer for suddenly, she couldn’t feel him anymore. The force with which he had let her go told her that he must have been yanked away.
She wanted to shout for joy at the thought of being safe but she held herself back.
I might not be entirely safe just yet.
Slowly, heart in her throat, she opened her eyes. The sight that lay before her had her jaw dropping.
Edward. It was Edward who had saved her. Edward who, at that very moment, had his hand raised to hit Whittaker.
Without thinking, she jumped into their midst, throwing her arms around Edward’s waist.
With a broken cry, she begged, “No, Edward! Please, don’t hit him! Let him go! Please!”
Chapter Twenty-One
Edward stopped, hand mid-air, unable to move as Caroline wrapped herself around him.
He was livid. He had seen it all happen. How could she try to protect him still?
He wasn’t patient enough to challenge Whittaker to a duel. He wanted to teach the man a lesson never to touch an unwilling woman, there and then.
How dare he? How dare the scoundrel try to force himself upon my woman?
When he had started to look for Caroline and had heard she’d stepped out with the earl, an ominous cloud hung over his head.
He had just known that something was amiss. As fast as his legs could carry him without breaking into a sprint, he had stepped out onto the balcony.
Just like he had thought, they were nowhere to be seen. So he went further, searching the fields, the gardens, the trees.
He was almost going mad from fear when he heard her voice.
My lord, no! Please! Let me go!
His blood had gone cold and he had broken into a run. He was furious at himself for not arriving earlier. But he was glad that he had come just in time.
When he had seen Whittaker with his lips on Caroline, a murderous rage had overcome him.
He could kill the man. His Lin was crying. The rake had made his Lin cry.
“Let me go, Caroline. I must teach him a lesson.”
She wouldn’t budge. She simply shook her head, crying harder. “To what end? You would only cause a scene, and then people will come to learn of what has happened here tonight. Please, just take me away from here. I do not want to be near him.”
He softened then, seeing some sense in what she said.
“Then I shall challenge him to a duel.”
She shook her head again. “You spent four years in service. He is no match for you. You might very well kill him.”
“What would it matter to you?” he asked her. She had chosen the earl. Despite her resistance to his physical affections, it appeared a part of her still cared for him.
Even with her desire to not cause a scene, she mustn’t want any harm to come to the man she cared for.
She didn’t give a response. She simply let him go, stepping away.
Edward’s heart broke and he thought he could see it in her eyes.
She truly doesn’t want him to be hurt.
Not knowing how to feel about this, he dropped his hand, faltering in his steps before he managed to get a hold of himself.
His only consolation was that he had gotten three good hits in after he had yanked the earl away from her.
The man was still nursing the pain in his jaw. Oh yes, it pleased Edward very much to see that.
Clearing his throat, he adjusted his clothes.
“I see that I was mistaken. It appears you might not have needed my intervention after all.”
He saw as her face twisted in confusion, but he refused to care. Preserving what was left of his pride, he turned to go.
“Edward, stop! It’s not what you think!”
Her voice had great power over him. Her words were an even stronger pull. It took everything in him to keep from stopping, from looking back.
He continued to walk, shoulders squared even though it killed him to.
She had just suffered a terrible experience. He shouldn’t be fighting with her still. He should have put his injured feelings aside and taken her into his arms, asked her if she was hurt, promised her that all would be fine. He should give her all of his protection so that the dreadful events of that night would never repeat themselves.
If she truly wanted the earl, why had she refused his kisses?
Caroline had never refused Edward’s kisses. In fact, she was the one who had first kissed him.
Could it be that Nathaniel was right? Did she truly not care about the earl—was only doing this to make him jealous?
Still, if that was the case, why would she choose to protect him? Why had she let him kiss her cheek outside the townhouse the other evening? Why had she just stood there when he whispered into her ears? Why had she followed him so far into the garden alone?
He had so many questions.
You’re not going to get them if you keep running away from her, a voice said in his head.
As much as Edward didn’t want to listen to it, he couldn’t deny that those words were true.
Unwilling to face anyone, he walked into the ballroom, past the crowd, and found his way to the Durham library.
Just as he was entering, he heard her again.
“Edward! Would you stop and listen to me? At least give me the chance to explain!”
His hand hovered over the knob. He hadn’t realized she was still following him.
If she had come all this way, he might as well give her an audience. After all, he wanted answers, did he not?
Heaving a sigh, he held the door open and turned to her.
“Ladies first.”
For a moment, neither of them moved. They simply stood there, holding each other’s gazes. Even though she had dried her tears, he could see that she was still shaken.
Those eyes looked like they would cry again any minute.
I can’t bear to see her cry.
He opened his mouth to break the silence but she moved just then. She walked to where he stood, moved past him, and stepped into the library.
After she had entered, he followed, shutting the door behind them.
He hid a small smile as he realized what was happening. There must be something with them and libraries, for they always seemed to end up in one.
He watched her as she turned around, taking in the large room filled with shelves and books. It was a good thing that gas lamps had been left burning, affording him the opportunity to see her face clearly, and the emotions that splayed over her features.
When she was done with her appraisal, she turned to him.
“I believe I owe you my gratitude. So I shall start with saying thank you for saving me.”
“It was the right thing to do. Although you wouldn’t let me touch him. You should have let him kiss you if you cared for him that much.”
Her eyes narrowed in anger for a second. “I do not care for him.”
The way she said those words, eyes fierce and voice firm, her nose flaring, told him that she was speaking the truth.
Relief eased the pain in his heart, but still there was confusion.
“Then why did you protect him?”
She looked away from him, ignoring the question. “It’s a thing of luck that you happened to just be passing by.”
“I wasn’t. I came out looking for you.”
“You did? Why? Was there something you wished to tell me?”
Why should I keep answering her questions if she wouldn’t answer mine?
Nathaniel’s voice sounded in his head then… they couldn’t continue to fight.
He nodded. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior this past week. I shouldn’t have come at you like that in the library. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have made you worry by not returning home, and I
shouldn’t have avoided you in the days that followed. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”
