by JB Salsbury
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
He lifts his brows and takes a tentative step closer. I end his trepidation by closing the distance between us and wrapping my arms around his middle. He holds me close and I sink into his embrace. It’s not the all-consuming hug that Killian delivers, but it’s a warm body, and that’s better than nothing.
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “You look so hot tonight.”
His compliments usually send me reeling, but tonight it just feels forced. Like the words of a desperate man who just learned he may not be getting laid. “Thanks.”
“You hungry?”
I’m really not, which makes this entire fight seem even stupider. Demanding I be taken out to dinner when I have no appetite? I really am a fucking psycho. So I lie. “Yeah.”
“Okay, let me grab my shit and we’ll get a bite.” He pulls back. “Sound good?”
I nod and push out a smile that I hope doesn’t look as fake as it feels.
He moves to leave the room, but turns back. “Oh, and babe?”
“Yeah?”
He smiles brilliantly. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Fuck off.
~*~
Killian
Talk about flashbacks.
Stuck in traffic on my way to pick up Brynn, memories of the night I was supposed to take Axelle to the school dance flash through my mind. I often wonder where we’d be if Stewart hadn’t shown up that night. Even if he’d come just one day later, things could’ve been so different.
I had every intention of making my feelings for Axelle clear that night, and if she’d returned them, we would be together now. It seems presumptuous to think we’d still be together after four years, but it’s not. Because I know I would’ve done everything in my power to make her happy, and if she tried to leave me, I’d fight to get her back.
But fate had different plans for us, I guess.
And now I’m in my Jeep, wearing a dress shirt and a damn tie, on my way to pick up someone else while Axelle is most likely staring lovingly into the eyes of a complete ass-face, when she should be staring into mine.
Awesome.
I pull up to Brynn’s complex just a few minutes after seven. It takes a little time to find her building and door number, which is probably why she opened the door before I was even able to knock.
“I’m late. Sorry.”
She hits me with a brilliant smile. “No worries. We’re kind of tucked in the back here; people usually can’t find us. But at least now you know”—she shrugs—“for next time.”
Next time?
“You want to come in?”
“We should probably get going—”
“No way!” A girl comes barreling to the door, her hair up in some fancy twist thing, but she’s wearing a robe. “I’ve never met a celebrity before.”
I study Brynn, who looks a little embarrassed. “Killian, this is one of my roommates, Ashley.”
Ah, so this is the one who walked in on her last night. I offer my hand. “Nice to meet you.”
She grabs my hand with two hands, and while one holds on, the other travels up the length of my arm. “Nice to meet you too. Whoa, you’re really strong.”
I try to politely extract my hand from her grip, and after a brief struggle, she lets go.
“Brynn tells me you’re a UFL fighter.”
Huh? Funny she’d know that seeing as we’ve never even talked about it. “I am.”
“That is so hot.” She winks. “Is it true you guys have lines of women waiting to service you after fights?”
I chuckle.
“Ashley!”
“What?” She glares at Brynn then swings her lusty gaze back to me. “I’m just wondering where to take a number.”
“Oh my gosh, we’re leaving.” Brynn pushes past Ashley and grabs my hand to lead me away from her place. “I am so sorry. She doesn’t know when to shut her mouth.”
I laugh. “No problem.” I peer down at her, and for the first time since she opened the door, I notice what she’s wearing: a dress the color of bubblegum with a thick black belt and black heels that brings the top of her head to my shoulder. The bottom of the dress is short, but puffy, almost like a bubble. The top doesn’t have any straps but is being held up by her ample breasts sporting some serious cleavage.
When we get to the Jeep, I open the door for her, and she smiles behind a veil of wavy red hair. After closing her in, I round the hood and climb inside. An awkward silence fills the space, and I fight for something to say.
“You look really pretty tonight.” Seems like an appropriate place to start.
“So do you, I mean, not pretty, but you look handsome.”
“Thanks.”
I pull away from her complex and wonder if things could get any more uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because this is technically my first official date or because I’m so used to being around one particular girl, but if things don’t get better, this is going to be a long night for both of us.
~~~
That wasn’t as bad as I thought.
As I walk out of Kahunaville hand-in-hand with Brynn, we’re laughing at Theo as he imitates Ryder at a concert.
“I don’t know how he hasn’t snapped his own neck.” Theo head bangs the air and sends the girls into a fit of giggles, but earns a swift sock to the gut from Ry.
“At least I don’t just sit there bobbing my head like I’m at a Taylor Swift concert.”
Theo’s humor dissolves. “Dude, don’t knock Taytay.”
“Where are we going now?” Ryder’s date curls up to him like a kitten to its scratching post.
Ryder grabs her ass, making her giggle. “I say we check out the party.”
“Yes, let’s go have some drinks and dance!” Brynn presses her breasts against my arm, and I wonder if she notices how close she’s bringing my hand to between her legs.
I may be a virgin, but I’ve fooled around with girls in the past. There were two girls in my neighborhood who taught me everything I know. We were all latchkey kids and home alone more than we were with our parents. Throw a couple of teenagers in a room together, hormones raging, and too much free time on their hands, and things are going to happen.
However, it’s been so long since I’ve touched a woman intimately I feel like I’m starting from scratch. And although I’m not desperate to be with Brynn in that way, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.
“Sounds good; follow us.” Ryder’s date squeals as he leads her to his car by a firm hold on her backside.
“They’re so cute together, aren’t they?” Brynn says as I open the Jeep door for her.
“I guess, yeah.” Even if it’s only for tonight.
I settle into my seat and fire up the engine when Brynn’s hand lands firmly on my thigh. I stare at it, the foreign feeling of being touched sending bolts of heat between my legs.
“Killian?”
My gaze slides up her delicate arm to her face, which is illuminated by the dash lights.
“This might seem forward, but I get the sense that if I don’t ask you’d never make a move.” She leans across the center console until our faces are less than inches apart. “May I kiss you?”
I swallow hard and lick my lips self-consciously.
She must see that as the okay to move forward because her mouth presses to mine. Shock blasts through my system at the warm and tender caress of her lips. Her fingers grip my thigh tighter, and a moan rolls up my throat like I’m some sex-starved male craving the touch of a woman.
I close my eyes to blue eyes and chestnut hair that flash behind my lids. Axelle. What would it be like to kiss her like this? My fantasies hurl themselves to the surface. As my tongue slips inside the warm cavern of her mouth, I hear Axelle’s throaty groan as she receives it.
Blood fires through my veins, and the need to get more, to get inside her, dominates my thoughts. I grip the back of her neck and tug her closer to me until the tips of her breasts rub aga
inst my chest. My dick punches the zipper of my slacks, searching for the heat it so desperately craves. I rip my lips from her mouth to her throat. Her pulse races, and I need to taste her skin, to lap at her flesh and suck—
“Yes… Killian…”
My lips freeze against her skin. I blink away the Axelle haze at the sound of her voice.
“Fuck.” I’m such an asshole.
She laughs and leans back into her seat. The pale skin of her cheeks and neck is flushed red, and shame washes over me at seeing it. “That was the hottest first kiss I’ve ever had.”
I turn to gaze out the windshield and hope she doesn’t see the regret I’m drowning in. I know I should say something, apologize or explain, but I can’t even bring myself to speak the words.
“Oh look!” She points to Ryder’s Toyota pickup. “They waited for us.”
This is good. At least at the party I’ll have the distraction of being in a crowded room. As long as I stay away from bedrooms and bathrooms, I should be able to get through the rest of this night without giving into my deepest, darkest fantasies.
Twelve
Axelle
The good news is I think this Valentine’s Day is shitty enough to trump my original Valentine’s Day.
I never thought anything could top Stewart’s impromptu drop in, but leaning against the wall in a dark corner nursing a warm beer and watching my date openly flirt with other girls has done it. Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner! The only thing that could make this any worse is if he’d strip them down and fuck them right in front of me.
But only a total meanie-face would do that. And Clifford, well, he’s just friendly with his hands.
The sarcasm in my head makes me grin, but it’s all teeth.
Turns out I was wrong. Clifford did take me out to dinner at the little Italian place down the street. He also invited three of his stoner friends to join us. They ate all the garlic bread, and I swear when I went to the restroom I came back and half my rigatoni was gone.
But that wasn’t the highlight of my romantic V-day dinner, nooo. The topper was how Clifford forgot his wallet when the bill came. Oh, and what do ya know, so did everyone else. So I bought those free-loading fuckholes dinner.
They all disappeared and left me on my own once we got back to the house. When they reappeared, Clifford had that weird party smell he gets that turns my stomach.
And if I could escape and go home, I would, but ta-da! Guess what? I can’t because I promised Mindy she could have the apartment for the night, and just because my holiday sucks big fat hairy moldy donkey balls doesn’t mean I’m going to ruin hers too.
However, there is a bright side to all this, and that is that Clifford and I are over.
O.
V.
E.
R.
Done.
I will never so much as smile in his direction again.
One more night of torture I can handle. I’ll fake sick, although the way I’ve been feeling lately I may not have to, avoid kissing and sex, and by the time the sun rises in—I check the time—six hours, I will never have to give Clifford a second of my time ever again.
And it’s on that thought that I’m able to tolerate this total disaster of a night.
The same ole screamo is blasting through the speakers, people are chattering obnoxiously, but I’ve erected a sphere of silence all around me. I’m numb to everything, every look, every attempt at conversation, every single fucking thing.
Even now I’m watching as a girl whispers something in Clifford’s ear and he holds her close to him by her hip.
I almost feel sorry for her.
“Take a look over here, sweet cheeks.” I bounce my eyebrows and laugh, not that it matters because no one can hear me over the music anyway. “This’ll be you in three months.”
A dude close to me stares at me like I’ve lost my mind, but I only smile. This is it. I’ve officially lost every single fuck I’ve ever given.
Gotta admit. Feels pretty good.
Grinning like an idiot, I’m a fly on the wall as the party rages on. My feet hurt, but I refuse to go get comfortable in Clifford’s bed. I’m staying right here until the sun breaks and then I’m out.
The front door opens, and all my resolve turns to shit when in walks my salvation.
Killian.
Tears spring to my eyes as anguish and relief strip me of my strength. I open my mouth to call to him, but the words freeze in my throat when his eyes meet mine and scream their apology. Something pulls his attention, and I follow the line of his gaze to the pretty little redhead grinning up at him as if he’s the sun in a winter wasteland.
And then I notice it.
He’s holding her hand.
~*~
Killian
I knew this was a mistake.
When we pulled up behind Ryder, I almost kept driving, but then I thought why the hell not? I knew Axelle would be here, and fuck if my heart didn’t jump in my chest at the idea of seeing her, but not like this.
She’s surrounded by a sea of people and has never looked more alone. It’s as if she’s invisible to everyone but me. Her face pales, and even with all that black shit around her eyes, I notice them glistening the way they always do when she’s fighting tears.
Fuck. What the hell did Clifford do this time?
I rip my gaze from her and search the dick-lick out only to find him playing quarters with a girl no more than a few yards from where Axelle’s standing. That sorry sack of shi—
“Killian.” Brynn tugs my arm for me to lean down. “Where do you think we’ll find the keg?”
My palm itches pressed to hers, and as much as I want to shake her off, I don’t want to look like an asshole.
I lean in to speak in her ear to be heard over the music. “Outside would be my guess.”
She flutters her eyelashes and grins. “Mind grabbing us a couple of drinks?”
My gaze darts back to Axelle, who hasn’t moved an inch, but is no longer looking my way, her eyes now unfocused on the people in front of her. I squeeze Brynn’s hand before pulling mine free. “Sure. Give me a second?”
Her eyebrows drop in concern before Ryder’s date sidles up beside her. “I need to hit the bathroom, but there’s no way I’m going alone.”
“We’re going to run to the bathroom and meet you back here?” Brynn tilts her head, searching for something in my expression.
“Yeah, meet you back here.”
She pushes up on her toes, headed straight for my mouth.
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
Thinking quickly, I dip down and press a chaste kiss to her forehead. She drops back, blinking, then flashes an awkward smile before being dragged off.
Once she disappears into the hallway, I turn toward Axelle, whose gaze darts between me and the floor. I push through the crowd and the makeshift dance floor, until I’m standing toe-to-toe with her.
Her outfit, hair, and makeup are the complete opposite of my date tonight. Whereas Brynn is dressed like a sweet temptation, Axelle’s look is tempting, but more of the deadly variety.
Her eyes snap to mine and tighten into a glare. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s a party, Ax. Why wouldn’t I be here?”
She huffs and studies the beer bottle in her hand. “Perfect. Icing on the shit cake that is my night.”
I step closer to get her to look at me. “What happened tonight?”
She cocks a hip and stares up at me. “Why do you care?”
I motion to where I saw Clifford drinking earlier. “Awfully generous of you to share your date tonight.”
Anger flickers behind her sapphire eyes. “First off, he’s no longer my date. He’s no longer my anything.”
That sends me back a step. He broke up with her? On Valentine’s Day? What an asshole! No wonder she looks like she’s about to rip someone’s throat out.
“I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t be.” She shrugs. “I’m not.”
She steps in close, and it’s then I notice she’s steady on her feet, her beer bottle is full and looks warm, and her breath smells like mint gum rather than booze. She pokes me in the chest. “I broke up with him. He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s been over for close to three hours now, and I’d leave here, but I have nowhere to go. I promised Mindy the apartment for the night, and I can’t go to my mom’s house because walking in at midnight will get me the third degree, and I can’t fuck their night up either, seeing as Valentine’s Day is just as fucked a day for them as it is for us.”
Us. My chest warms and I resist the urge to pull her into my arms.
“So I’m waiting until the sun comes up. I’m going to stand right here”—she shoves a finger toward the floor—“until the sun comes up, and then I’m walking away from Clifford and never looking back.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me.”
“Why are you here?”
“I already told you. It’s a party…and…” I wanted to see you.
Her shoulders collapse as if the fight has been completely drained from her. “Just leave, Killian. Please. You guys could be anywhere tonight. Do you have to be here?”
“You don’t want me here?”
“It’s not that; it’s…” She steps back to lean against the wall, and I follow and press in close so she has to tilt her head back to look up at me. “Did you have to bring her here?”
My blood thunders through my veins at the meaning behind her words. She’s jealous. Which means she feels more for me than friendship, right? Is it possible that seeing me with another girl is forcing her to confront her feelings? “You don’t like seeing me with her?” She dips her chin, but I catch it with my fingertips and bring her eyes back to mine. “Answer me, Axelle.”
Her eyes glisten, but her jaw is hard. “I hate it.”
For a stunned second, I simply stare, forcing myself to acknowledge and absorb her words. I clear my throat and lean in to speak directly in her ear. “What do you want, baby?”
