Regarding interpretations of law concerning stepfamilies, The DadsDivorce.com article “Knowing and Understanding Stepparents’ Rights” that opens Chapter 8 is real. And the highlighted passage from Dr. Kirkland’s “Rights of Stepparents in Custody in Visitation” brochure, cited in Chapter 16, is taken from an Attorneys.com article of the same name. Both resources proved valuable in my research.
The Alice Walker poem from which Clara quotes is titled “They Will Always Be More Beautiful” and is available in its haunting entirety at AliceWalkersGarden.com.
There are at least two radio stations in the Cincinnati/Dayton area that have featured “Second Date Update” segments, and many more nationwide. For the record, my local radio hosts have a knack for handling these calls with respect and good humor, and I wouldn’t want anyone to mistake Izzy’s distaste for her colleagues as my own. Freshly Squeezed and its hosts are purely imagined. The show’s neuroscientist guest who talks about the brain chemistry behind love and rejection is loosely quoting anthropologist Helen Fisher and her fascinating 2008 TED Talk “The Brain in Love.” Sometimes something is simply said too perfectly to rephrase.
A debt of gratitude to retired Cincinnati Police detective Jim Day for walking me through various missing persons scenarios and sharing his experience with domestic violence perpetrators and victims (as well as to Cris Freese for putting us in touch). And to Cincinnati’s top-notch OB/GYN John Sullivan, MD, for his insights into how doctors’ personal conflicts do and don’t impact their practice—and for reading with pleasure everyone from Harlan Coben to Jane Austen to, well, me.
My understanding of the financials and fates of insurance policies I owe to my expert husband, Scott Strawser, who is always concerned with doing the right thing and does indeed believe in “following the money.” There’s no one I’d rather comingle my assets with.
With all of the above, any liberties taken were for the sake of the story, and any perceived mistakes are mine alone.
Acknowledgments
This book would not exist without the love and support of my husband, who amazes me every day with his unflinching enthusiasm, good humor, and seemingly endless well of patience. I’m beyond lucky to be his teammate. Our children inspire me constantly with their smart, funny, compassionate outlooks, and I am grateful for their sweet reminders of what’s important in this world and of how we can so easily strive to be better, to do better. For them, I would do anything.
Endless gratitude to my agent, Barbara Poelle, who represents me so well that she has even been known to sell me on my abilities. My editor, Holly Ingraham, without question made this book better for her insights, and has again shown me what a thrill it can be to share a vision for a project. My publicist, Katie Bassel, is equal parts tireless and fabulous, and somehow can even make a long to-do list seem like fun. Jennie Conway, Nancy Sheppard, Jordan Hanley, Jennifer Enderlin, and the rest of the St. Martin’s Press team have been a dream.
Special thanks to my beta readers: Amy Fogelson, Lindsay Hiatt, Amy Price, and Megan Rader, who offered invaluable encouragement and feedback during my first official year in the pressure tank. Deep appreciation as well to the sources who so generously lent their expertise to my research (I’ve detailed them in the Author’s Note, so if by chance you skipped it, please turn back so they can get the credit they deserve!).
One of the greatest pleasures of this venture onto bookshelves has been the expansion of my writing tribe. Grateful hugs to Sharon Short and Kim Dinan, and five stars to the ’17Scribes group (notably Orly Konig, Crystal King, Jenni Walsh, Lisa Duffy, and Kathleen Barber). My Writer’s Digest colleagues made for a humbling cheering section: Gratitude to Brian Klems, Tyler Moss, Claudean Wheeler, Taylor Sferra, and the rest of the crew.
To my parents, Michael and Holly Yerega, and to all of my family and friends who have shown their support for this new endeavor of mine in ways big and small, I can hardly express what your vote of confidence means to me. Thank you for making so many late nights feel so very worthwhile.
Discussion Questions
1. Clara and Benny differ on whether their neighbors’ problems are any of their business. Which one of them is right? Is it possible that they are both right?
2. What do Izzy and Paul have in common? What parallels can you draw between their individual stories, and where do those lines diverge?
3. Izzy forces herself to absorb the horrible stories in her newsfeed; Randi and Rhoda identify as “citizens of the world” but also proclaim their willingness to retreat into a “happy little bubble.” Do you think it’s healthy to be able to compartmentalize tragedy, or is it more important to be keenly aware of what’s happening around us, even when it’s ugly?
4. Kristin never gets to tell her side of the story, except (in part) to the reader. What does it do to a person when no one bears witness to what’s really going on in their lives?
5. Izzy books a guest for the radio show who explains why heartbreak is biochemically hard to shake. We’ve all had a friend like Izzy who just can’t get over someone (or been in those shoes ourselves). Was there anything in particular about her frustration that you found unsympathetic?
6. How is Hallie’s perspective different from the adults’? Why is she so pivotal to the story?
7. In some ways, Natalie relies outwardly on her neighbors more than any of the others, more by necessity than by choice. If you were in her shoes, would you have reacted differently after Hallie’s newspaper (and Clara’s role in it) came to light?
8. Both Clara and the detectives acknowledge that the parents in town can be judgmental of one another. In what ways might those attitudes do harm to someone in a situation like Kristin’s? How do they impact Clara?
9. Do you find it fair that some of Dr. Kirkland’s patients publicly defend him after suspicions are raised, or do you find it disturbing?
10. Although domestic violence is alarmingly common, it’s still perceived by many as carrying a certain stigma. Why do you think that is? What, if anything, could be done to change that?
11. Clara tells Izzy that the only way she knows of to escape an abusive man is not to have met him in the first place. Detective Bryant isn’t forthcoming with solutions that convince Clara that Kristin had a good alternative to her disappearing act. Do you think Kristin did what she had to do? If not, what do you think she could have done instead?
12. Do you think that if Clara had foreseen the extent of the worry and scrutiny ahead of her, she would have influenced and helped Kristin the way she did?
St. Martin’s Press
ALSO BY JESSICA STRAWSER
Almost Missed You
About the Author
JESSICA STRAWSER is the editor-at-large at Writer’s Digest, where she served as editorial director for nearly a decade. Her debut novel, Almost Missed You, was named to Barnes & Noble’s Best New Fiction shortlist upon its release. She has written for The New York Times’ “Modern Love,” Publishers Weekly, and other fine venues, and lives with her husband and two children in Cincinnati. Connect with her on Facebook at jessicastrawserauthor, on Twitter @jessicastrawser, or at www.jessicastrawser.com, or sign up for email updates here.
Thank you for buying this
St. Martin’s Press ebook.
To receive special offers, bonus content,
and info on new releases and other great reads,
sign up for our newsletters.
Or visit us online at
us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup
For email updates on the author, click here.
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Ch
apter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Author’s Note
Acknowledgments
Discussion Questions
Also by Jessica Strawser
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
NOT THAT I COULD TELL. Copyright © 2018 by Jessica Strawser. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover design by Danielle Christopher
Cover photographs: night scene © Diane/ImageBrief; chairs © John Halpern
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-10788-6 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-10790-9 (ebook)
eISBN 9781250107909
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected].
First Edition: March 2018
Not That I Could Tell: A Novel Page 33
