“You should be.”
“Well, I really am. It was the first time I’d had a drink in six months. I don’t know what got into me.”
“You shouldn’t drink, Brodie. It makes you into something you’re not.”
“I know that. I won’t do it again.”
“You’ll have to apologize to Parker.”
“Sure,” he said quickly and stood a little straighter. “I’ll do that as soon as I find him. But I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”
“I am upset with you. The story is all over town, and everywhere else in the county, for that matter.”
Brodie gnawed his lower lip, looking subdued, and despite her anger, she felt compassion for him. She knew all about his abusive stepfather and how he’d been forced to leave home to get away from him. Kat sighed and said, “Sit down, Brodie.”
“Sure. Could I have some coffee?”
Kat poured him a cup, then poured one for herself. She sat down, and he began to speak easily, as if to put the incident behind him. “Maybe we could go out tonight,” he finally said, hope in his eyes.
“Not tonight, Brodie.”
His face fell, and he got to his feet. “I’m real sorry,” he said. “You won’t see that side of me again.”
He looked so woebegone—almost the same way the triplets looked when they had gotten into trouble—that her heart melted. “It’s all right, Brodie. I’m not angry anymore.”
“You’re not? Good! Do you want to go up in the plane with me?”
“Maybe tomorrow. I need to cook supper for tonight.”
“All right. How ’bout if I land out back in the field about eight o’clock in the morning?”
“All right. You’d better go now. I’ve got a lot to do.”
She sighed as Brodie left. “He’d be such a good man if he could just settle down,” she said to herself, shaking her head.
****
When Parker answered the knock on his door at the Summerdale Motel the next day, he was surprised to see Brodie Lee standing there.
“Hello, Parker. Can I talk to you?”
“Of course,” he said, opening the door wide. “What’s on your mind?”
Brodie stepped in and stood uncertainly in the middle of the room, but then found the courage to speak. “Well, I made a sap out of myself at the restaurant the other night. I just came by to . . . to tell you I’m really sorry. You should have shot me.”
Parker laughed. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Yes it was. I should have known better than to get drunk. I think I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.” He put his hand out and gave Parker a twisted grin. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right, Brodie.” Parker took his hand and felt the power of his grip.
Brodie heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m just one of the roughs, but I do care for Kat.”
“She tells me she had quite a crush on you when she was younger.”
“I guess so. She was just a kid when I left town, but she’s not now.”
The two men stood silently weighing each other, and finally Brodie said, “I know you’ve got everything—money, manners, a title—but I’m not giving up.”
“That’s fair enough, Brodie.”
Parker stared at the closed door after showing Brodie out and felt a strange sense of camaraderie with the young man. He’s got some good in him, poor chap. He hasn’t always had it easy.
****
At the same time Brodie was making his apologies to Parker, Kat was at the church helping organize an outing for the youth group. The pastor, Luke Maxwell, was new in town. He was a tall, lanky man with sharp features and a quick sense of humor. He had come to appreciate Kat’s help with the young people as well as with the choir, since she had a beautiful singing voice. He stood chatting with her after the others had left.
“Could I talk with you, Pastor Maxwell?”
“Why, of course. Would you like to come into my office?”
“No. This is all right.” They were in the sanctuary, and Kat was nervously twisting her hands together, something Maxwell had never seen her do. Maxwell was a bachelor and had thought several times of asking her out. He had refrained, however, fearing that dating a church member could lead to trouble. “Let’s at least sit down,” he said. “I’m tired.”
Kat sat down beside him in the front pew and glanced anxiously around the sanctuary.
When she didn’t immediately tell him what she wanted to talk about, he said, “You’ve been a godsend to me, Kat.”
She nodded.
“You’ll be going back to college before long, won’t you?”
“I . . . well, yes, I will. But I’m thinking about changing my coursework and studying nursing.”
“Excellent idea! There’s always a need for good nurses.”
Kat looked down at the floor for a moment. When she finally turned to face the pastor, he saw that her eyes were troubled.
“How do you know for sure what God’s will is?” she asked.
Maxwell rolled his eyes upward and laughed shortly. “I wish I had a specific answer to that. I’ve struggled enough in my own life trying to make decisions.”
“Have you really? Preachers have that problem too?”
“This one does.” He smiled wryly. “I’ve always envied people who talk of hearing specific messages from God.”
“My stepmother’s like that. She seems to have a direct line to heaven, but I’m not so fortunate.”
“Neither am I. Most of us aren’t, Kat. Most of us stumble along trying to please God, trying to find out what His will is. I’d hate for you to know about the times I misread God’s will.”
She laughed. “Well, I can see I’ve come to the wrong person to get a specific answer.”
Maxwell grinned at her. “In my counseling, I very rarely give people a direct word about which way to take their life. That’s a very dangerous thing.”
“I suppose it is. But I do need to find out what God wants with me. You see, ever since I was saved, I’ve always felt that God had a specific work for me to do. Every time we have a visiting missionary, I expect God to tell me, ‘Go to Brazil or go to China.’ But then the missionary leaves, and I still don’t know. It’s very frustrating.”
Maxwell had already learned quite a bit about some of the members of his church. He and Lewis Winslow were becoming friends, and the two had talked about their families. So Maxwell was not ignorant of the concerns of this young woman who sat beside him. He had also heard about the fight between Brodie and Parker in the restaurant. Cautiously he said, “I think it’s very hard for young people to decide what to do with their lives.”
“Don’t you have any advice at all for me?”
Maxwell was touched at the longing in Kat’s voice. She was a strong woman with a beautiful spirit. She had a way of speaking that ran like slow-measured music through his mind, and his thought was, Whoever gets this woman will have won a prize. Aloud he said, “I can only tell you my own personal method. But I warn you, it’s not foolproof.”
“I’d like to hear it.”
“When I feel that God wants me to do something and I have not the vaguest idea which path to take, I just choose one with the best judgment I can muster up. And I go down that path until I get a yellow light. You know how it is in traffic. When that yellow light comes on, it means Beware. Something’s wrong here. You’re going to have to stop.”
“And then what?”
“I keep going until I get a red light. Until something tells me very clearly this is wrong. That’s when I just throw it all up and go find another way. Not much help, is it?” he asked ruefully.
“It’s something at least. Would you pray for me, Pastor Maxwell?”
“I do that already, Kat. I’ve talked with Missouri Ann. She loves you very much, and she’s told me how you feel. That God has a call on your life. Of course God has a call on every life, but yours may be something special.”
“I’ve always thought so, and now I’v
e come to a place where I have to make a decision.”
“Well, let’s pray first, and then you choose a path and keep going down it, until you see a yellow light.”
****
Late one Thursday night, Parker and Kat were sitting outside on the swing. The boys were in bed, and Lewis and Missouri Ann were inside listening to Fibber McGee and Molly on the radio.
Parker had been telling Kat about his plans for his trip back to England, and finally he said, “I don’t want to press you, Katherine, but time is growing short.”
As she turned to face him her nearness set off a shock within Parker. He watched as she stopped smiling. He noticed every slight change of expression, the small comings and goings that reflected her uncertainty, and her spirit brushed against him in a way that no woman’s ever had. Her face finally settled into an almost desperate expression, which moved him deeply. Leaning over, he put his arm around her. “I don’t want to be a burden to you. I know you’re troubled about which direction to take. But I think, in a way, you’re worried about finding God’s will.”
“Yes, I am, Parker. Terribly worried.”
“This might be a way to find out, mightn’t it?”
“Find out what, Parker?”
He did not answer for a moment, then tried to smile, but found it quite an effort.
“Find out what, Parker?” she asked again.
“You could find out . . . if . . . if I’m a man you might be happy with for the rest of your life.”
His voice was summer soft, but his eyes were fixed steadily on hers. As his arm tightened around her, she fumbled for an answer.
“But Parker . . . th-that’s impossible!”
“Why is it impossible?”
“Because . . . well, for one thing, your family would never accept me.”
“They’ll have to if I marry you. You can win over anyone if you put your mind to it, Katherine.”
He saw the hint of her will and pride in the corners of her lips and eyes. The fragrance of her clothes and the faint perfume she was wearing came powerfully to him, and he felt the warmth of her personality even as he waited. Her soft fragrance slid through the armor of his self-sufficiency, and he knew that he loved this woman as he could never love another. “Please, Katherine, come with me on this trip. You could help with the cattle and meet my family.”
When she did not speak, he added, “Going to England wouldn’t mean a final commitment. It would just be an opportunity to spend a lot of time together. And God might speak to you about His plan for your life.”
Kat felt she had come to a fork in the road. She must choose one path or the other. She remembered Pastor Maxwell’s discussion about the yellow light and red light. At the moment, nothing would have been easier than to have simply whispered yes, but somehow she did not feel that freedom to speak. She knew Parker was waiting for her answer, and she desperately wished that God would speak clearly and tell her what to say. “You’ll have to give me a little time,” she finally murmured.
Parker was disappointed, and it showed in his face. “There isn’t much time left, Katherine, but I’ll wait.” His arm was still around her shoulders, and he whispered, “I love you very much. This kind of love that I feel for you comes very rarely, and I know I will never feel it for any other woman.”
His words stirred Kat, but something still held her back. She longed to put her arms around him and let him hold her, but she could not. She got up slowly, and he rose to stand beside her. “I-I’ll have to think about it.”
“All right, my dear,” he said. Regret tinged his voice, but he did not urge her further, and she was grateful for his thoughtfulness. She stood irresolutely and then turned and went into the house.
Parker did not move. Disappointment flowed through him, and he wanted to go after her, but he resisted. He simply pulled himself together and slowly followed her inside, putting on a neutral face to meet Lewis and Missouri.
CHAPTER SIX
“For the Rest of Our Lives”
When Brodie asked Kat to come along on a crop-dusting run, she at first refused. Ever since Parker had asked her to marry him, her mind had been in a state of confusion, and she had little inclination for such adventures. But Brodie had continued to pressure her, and finally she had agreed.
The sun was coming up in the east, sending its pale, fresh light across the small airstrip just outside of town. It flashed against the windowpanes, cutting long, sharp shadows against the dust of the runway and brightening it to a velvet gray carpet.
“I’ve always liked this time of the day,” Brodie said as the two walked toward the plane. “We’ve got a whole fresh new day ahead of us.”
It had been quite dark when they had left the house, with the stars glimmering in the sky, but as they had driven to the field, the black eastern horizon had cracked apart and now long waves of light were rolling out.
“Be chilly for an hour,” Brodie said as they approached the plane. “But it’s a good time of the day.” He helped Kat clamber up into the front seat. She sat there watching the rising flood of clear, brilliant sunshine bathe the earth. As Brodie prepared the plane, she did enjoy the morning’s freshness. By the time he crawled into the back cockpit, the coolness was already starting to dissipate, and she knew it would soon be as hot as it had been all July. The engine coughed, and the propeller gave a spasmodic jerk, then a series of staccato explosions, and the muffled roar of the engine broke the stillness of the morning air.
Kat felt a touch on her shoulder and turned quickly. Brodie was standing up in his seat leaning over the cowling, grinning at her. “Maybe when we get up,” he shouted, “we’ll fly off to Hawaii. I could hold you prisoner there.”
Despite the problems that were weighing her down, Brodie could still make her laugh. “Be sure you take me where there’s plenty to eat,” she shouted back.
Laughing, Brodie settled back into the rear seat and fastened his belt. He put his hands on the throttle and the plane began to move. Kat found herself looking forward to the experience this time. She had often watched the crop dusters, marveling at how they maneuvered their biplanes into position, and now she took a deep breath as the plane left the earth and soared into the sky. She felt the plane bank and the engine pick up momentum, and soon they were skimming over the earth. The land below was divided into fields, making it look almost like a bedspread—squares of green crops and yellow crops broken up with newly plowed black dirt.
“Here we go. That field right there.”
Kat looked ahead as the plane dipped. She felt her body lift up out of her seat and the straps cut into her shoulders as the plane dropped. Her heart gave a lurch as Brodie dove toward the earth, but at the last instant he pulled the nose up and they were skimming across a field, the wheels nearly touching the plants. Looking back, she saw a white cloud of insecticide following the plane.
Brodie grinned and waved at her, and she waved back. When she turned back to face forward, her heart gave another lurch, for there directly in front of them was a towering grove of trees. She almost screamed, but at the last instant Brodie pulled the plane up into a steep climb. This time the wheels did brush the tops of the trees. She heard the branches scraping along the bottom of the plane, and the propeller even clipped the tip of one of the trees.
Kat made a grab for the sides of the cockpit as the plane lurched violently to the right. She knew without the shoulder strap she might have fallen out, but then the plane straightened up, and she saw the field with the white cloud slowly settling over it. Once again Brodie took the plane down to plant-top level and sailed across the field, releasing the insecticide.
Back and forth across the field Brodie went, and finally he pulled it up and shouted, “That takes care of that one. We’ll have to go back pretty soon and refill the hopper, but we’ve got a little left.”
All morning long they moved from field to field, landing frequently to pick up more chemicals. It was hard work, Kat discovered. She had always assumed th
e job was easy. But as the sun rose higher into the sky and the heat waves shimmered off the field, it became tedious.
She was also shocked at how dangerous the work was. More than once at the end of a field, Brodie was met by banks of rising trees. At the end of one field, there were two groups with a gap no more than ten feet wide. He had simply turned the plane sideways and flown through. When they leveled off again, Kat found a branch stuck in the windshield and gasped at how close they had come to destruction.
She knew it must be difficult for Brodie to keep his full attention on the obstacles. Sometimes telephone wires stretched across their path, and once he simply skimmed under one, making her hold her breath. By noon, she was more than ready to call it quits.
Crawling out of the plane, she said, “That’ll be about enough for me, Brodie. It’s a bit too hair-raising.”
“It’s a might touchy, for a fact,” he said with a shrug. “Most people think dustin’ crops is exciting and sort of glamorous, but mostly it’s just plumb dangerous. A friend of mine clipped a wire with his wheels two months ago. Flipped the plane over and it all landed right on top of him. It could happen anytime if you don’t keep your mind on your business.” He saw the lines of fatigue on Kat’s face and said, “I’ll take you back to the house.”
They got into his car, and as they pulled onto the road, Kat said, “Brodie, this is dangerous. I wish you wouldn’t do it. You could get killed.”
“Why, people fall on banana peels goin’ to church and break their necks. This job is okay if you keep your mind on what you’re doin’.”
She shook her head, knowing she couldn’t really talk him out of it. The man was born without any nerves, she thought to herself.
Brodie kept her entertained as they drove. Finally when they reached town, he said, “How ’bout we go get a chocolate milk shake?”
“That sounds good.”
The two of them went into the drugstore and were greeted by Otis Hines, the pharmacist. He and Brodie had grown up together, and he waited on them himself. “I’ll make you a shake so thick it’ll practically stand up without a glass.”
Otis’s promise was good, and the two had to spoon the mixture out until it melted down a bit.
The High Calling Page 7
