‘I couldn’t manage on my own, love,’ said Shirley, half-heartedly. ‘I’ve made my bed and now I just have to lie in it.’
Her apathy made Adele even angrier. ‘But you don’t!’ she yelled. ‘Why is he like that? Has he always been like that?’
‘Pretty much, yeah.’
‘Then why did you marry him?’ she demanded.
Shirley looked away but Adele pressed on, turning her mother to face her. ‘Why, Mam? Why would you marry someone like that?’
‘I didn’t have a choice,’ Shirley muttered.
‘What?’ Adele stared back at her mother as the realisation slowly dawned on her. ‘You mean… you had to get married?’
‘Yes, love. I was expecting,’ Shirley admitted, her face flushing with shame. ‘Then, before I knew it, I was pregnant again with our Peter.’ Adele was too flabbergasted to respond. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ said Shirley. ‘That’s how it was in them days. If you were expecting a baby you had to get married. And that was that.’
‘And he didn’t want to?’
‘It was never really discussed. We knew what was expected of us, and the arrangements were made as soon as possible before I was showing.’
‘No wonder he hates the sight of me and our Peter! He never wanted us, did he?’
‘Come on, love. Don’t go getting upset. What’s done is done.’
‘No, it isn’t!’ Adele screamed. ‘It all makes sense now. He hates us! He never wanted us.’
Shirley reached out to touch Adele’s arm but she pushed her hand away. ‘Don’t! Don’t think you can get round me and make it right. You should never have married him!’ She rushed from the room with tears streaming down her face. ‘Leave me alone!’ she shouted before slamming the door and dashing up to her bedroom. Anger still coursed through her body and she swiped her books off the shelf, throwing them at the wall as she sought an outlet for her aggression. It was some time later that she finally calmed down and started to face the brutal truth.
*
Adele was still in turmoil over her mother’s revelation and found it even more difficult to relate to her father. Whenever he entered the room, she left. She didn’t want to be near him let alone converse with him.
Sorrow over her grandmother was now suffused with feelings of rejection as well as worry about Peter. As she walked up the street painful thoughts crowded her mind once again. She found it hard to focus on her forthcoming arrangements to meet Gary and she found herself wandering aimlessly until she realised she had passed their meeting place.
Adele turned around and rushed to join him outside the park. She didn’t really want to be there but he’d been pestering to see her again for weeks. And, with her grandma gone, she craved attention. She wanted to feel that somebody was interested in her. So, finally, she agreed to meet up, telling herself that her negative feelings towards him were because of her grief.
Maybe a date with Gary would cheer her up, she thought. But as soon as she saw him, she realised her mistake. She was too preoccupied to make the effort with small talk. And she soon became bored with him. His sloppy kisses repulsed her and his wandering hands irritated her.
As she slapped his hand away for the second time, Gary said, ‘Aww come on, Adele. What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you let me?’
‘Because I don’t want to!’ she snapped.
‘But we’ve been seeing each other for a bit now. Why won’t you let me? Are you frigid or summat?’
‘No, I’m not. I just don’t want to, so leave me alone and keep your bloody hands to yourself!’ she cried.
‘OK, snapper!’ said Gary.
They sat on a park bench for several minutes, neither of them speaking, the atmosphere between them charged. Adele was tempted to walk away but she’d already upset him and didn’t want to do more damage. She was used to seeing the bad side of an angry man and didn’t know how Gary would react if she upset him further. He saved her the trouble when he stood up and announced, ‘I’m going. You’re a waste of time!’
Hurt that he was walking away from her instead, she reacted instinctively. ‘Go on then, get lost!’ she said. ‘You’re boring anyway.’
‘I’m boring? Huh, what about you? All you ever do is study and talk about your dead gran. You need to get a life, Adele.’
‘Don’t you dare mention my grandma!’ shouted Adele who was becoming irate.
‘Fuck off!’ he shouted back. ‘My mates were right. You are a stuck-up little bitch who thinks she’s too good for everyone. I don’t know why I went out with you in the first place.’
By now he was several metres away and Adele was too upset to continue the argument. Instead she sat and cried as she watched him walk away. The break-up made her feel even more inadequate. And so rejected! She’d been dumped by her boyfriend. Her brother was drifting away. Their father had never wanted her or Peter. Their mother was too caught up in her own grief to notice her. And the one person who had really cared, her grandma, was gone forever.
Adele stayed in the park for several minutes sobbing to herself and wondering how she would cope with a life devoid of love.
Chapter 28
Adele didn’t stay angry with her mother for long. With her grandma gone and Peter locked away, it seemed like her mother was the only person she had left. Over the coming months she gradually came to terms with the decision her parents had made all those years ago. She still didn’t like it but there wasn’t much she could do.
And what alternative was there? If her mother had attempted to bring Adele up alone, with no money, would life have been even harder? And if her mother had made a different decision, Adele might not even be here.
Her anger towards her mother was replaced by pity; it must have been dreadful to have been stuck with a man who disrespected you and showed you nothing but contempt. To realise that this was how the rest of your life was going to be. At least Adele could dream of a way of escape, but her mother didn’t even have that.
Where her father was concerned, Adele felt no pity. Despite her situation, Shirley still displayed some affection towards her children but with Tommy there was nothing. The notion that he had never wanted her and Peter festered in Adele’s mind. Each time he displayed contempt and anger towards her and her mother, he drove an even bigger wedge between himself and his daughter. Adele hated him and couldn’t wait to get away.
Despite all this, she found a way to cope. Adele’s burden had been eased a little since her father had returned to work. Most evenings he went for a drink straight from work so he wasn’t back until late. That made it easier for Adele to avoid him most of the time. But she could still hear the rows, which sometimes went on until the early hours and made it difficult for Adele to sleep.
The time for Adele’s exams was fast approaching. She hadn’t found it easy to continue her studies but she had persevered, fuelled by an inner strength. Whenever things got tough she closed her eyes and pictured her grandma. The memories gave her sustenance and enabled her to get through.
Adele was currently sitting in the sixth form unit after school. She paused in her writing and looked up at the calendar. It was only a little over two weeks until her first exam. But before that, in only a week’s time, she had something else to face. Peter was due home.
She was looking forward to having her brother back but there was also a feeling of dread that sat at the pit of her stomach; a fear that things would escalate. Peter would perhaps get into more trouble, and there was bound to be more conflict between Peter and her father.
Adele also wondered how Peter’s time inside would affect their relationship. Would he drift further away? She hoped not. Adele missed the closeness they had once shared and desperately hoped that he would return to her one day.
*
When Peter came home from the detention centre, she and her mother welcomed him heartily. They gave him something to eat and drink and Adele helped him put his clothes away in his room.
‘Good to be home, sis,’ he sa
id.
Adele smiled on spotting a glimmer of his old self. ‘It’s nice to have you home,’ she replied. ‘I hope it wasn’t too bad for you.’
‘Nah,’ he said. ‘It was all right really.’ Adele noticed his lip tremble slightly. Despite his bravado she could tell that things can’t have been easy for him in the detention centre.
‘I wish you hadn’t have been in there when grandma died.’
‘Me too,’ he said. ‘Can’t wait to get in my own bed,’ he added, changing the subject as he patted his bed.
They went back downstairs and joined their mother in the kitchen. For a while they chatted amicably, catching up with local gossip and finding out a little more about Peter’s time inside. Adele was happy to have him back and for a short time all seemed fine. Then Tommy came home.
‘What the fuck’s he doing here?’ he demanded.
Any hope that he had forgiven Peter’s misdemeanours were destroyed by those few words. Their conversation ceased and they all stared silently at Tommy, waiting for the scene to unfold.
‘You heard me. What’s he doing here? You didn’t fuckin’ tell me he was due out!’ he said to Shirley.
‘I thought I had, sorry,’ Shirley mumbled.
‘It doesn’t make any fuckin’ difference anyway. I don’t want him here!’
‘Please, Tommy,’ Shirley pleaded. ‘He’s got nowhere else to go.’
‘I don’t give a shit! I don’t want the thieving little bastard here,’ he said. Then he turned to Peter. ‘You heard! You’re nothing but a little shithouse and your mates are even worse. Murdering bastards! Go and live with them. That’s all you’re fit for.’
‘I’m not going anywhere!’ said Peter. ‘I live here.’
Peter’s words struck Adele. She was inwardly pleading with him to go silently. To save them from Tommy’s wrath. But it was too late.
‘You what?’ shouted Tommy.
Without waiting for a reply, he strode across to Peter and struck him across the face. Peter tried to fight back but Tommy overpowered him, landing a few more punches on his face and torso. The smacking sound of Tommy’s heavy punches impacting with Peter’s flesh made Adele wince. A rumble of fear shot through her insides. Gripped by panic she hovered on the spot, wanting to help Peter but numbed with terror.
Adele looked across at her mother who remained motionless. Her eyes pleaded with Shirley to do something. But she did nothing. She was leaving it up to Adele again.
Before Adele could decide what to do, Tommy grabbed hold of Peter under his arms and shouted, ‘You’re fuckin’ going and that’s that!’ He then hauled Peter out of the back door and slid the bolt.
Outside Adele could hear Peter hammering on the back door and begging to be let back in.
Tommy pointed at Shirley and Adele in turn, ‘Don’t you fuckin’ dare let him back in!’ he warned. ‘And tell him, if he doesn’t fuckin’ shut it I’ll go out there and give him the hiding of his fuckin’ life!’
Shirley went to the back door and pleaded with Peter to go silently while Tommy ate his tea, banging his cutlery against the plate each time he took a forkful.
‘What the fuck are you waiting for?’ he asked Adele who was standing in the kitchen, unsure what to do next.
She ran up to her room, wary of inciting her father even more. Adele sat on her bed, wringing her sweaty hands and waiting for her heartbeat to return to normal. The sound of Peter pleading outside tore at her heart but she couldn’t do anything to help.
When she could no longer hear Peter, she went to the window and saw him make his way down the back passageway. She waved, trying to draw his attention but he didn’t see her.
Adele wanted to follow Peter but she was frightened of her father’s reaction. So she stayed where she was and watched him walk away. He had been back in her life for little more than two hours. Adele felt that any hopes of repairing their damaged relationship were now shattered. He would never come back home. And how could she visit him? She didn’t even know where he’d gone. She’d watched her father throw him out and done nothing to help.
While Peter had been at home, it seemed as though they had a chance of becoming close once more. But then her father had to go and spoil everything. She hoped Peter wouldn’t feel betrayed by her. But what if he did? She worried that things between them might never be the same again.
Chapter 29
It was two days since Peter’s father had turned him away. He was homeless and hungry. But David had just taught him a new way to make money. It was quick and easy. And Peter was desperate. Although he had felt betrayed when David gave his and Alan’s names to the police a few months previously, he had soon forgiven him. After all, David had come to his aid when he needed it.
They were currently hanging around in the gloom of late evening, looking out for a potential target. Then David spotted her; an elderly lady, weighed down by a heavy shopping bag full of her purchases from the off-licence.
The years hadn’t been kind to Winnie whose face was deeply lined and whose wiry, grey hair was thinning. She had been trying to make her pension stretch; she didn’t want to be forced to borrow from her friend, Gladys, again. But today was pension day and the lure of the alcohol had proved too much.
Winnie stepped out of the off-licence and pulled her shabby, stained mac tightly around her. She smiled a gap-toothed grin to a man as she passed him, her face a picture of glee as she thought about the comforts contained in her shopping bag. He returned a half-hearted smile, eager to escape the foul stench given off by her unwashed clothing and her tendency to leak urine; a result of years of child-bearing to children she rarely saw.
Peter and David were standing on the corner, just a few houses up from the off-licence. As Winnie approached, David nodded to Peter. He didn’t need to say anything. They both knew she was what they were looking for.
Peter scanned the street. The man who had passed Winnie had sped off in his Vauxhall Cavalier and there was no longer anyone around. They feigned disinterest as Winnie passed by and took a cursory glance at them. She was too consumed by the prospect of an evening of sherry-induced solace to exercise caution.
David waited until she had walked a short distance then tailed her. Peter followed his lead. They crept silently, staying a few steps behind so she wouldn’t spot anything untoward. When David saw a back entry some metres ahead of them, he nodded to Peter and they closed the gap between themselves and Winnie.
Winnie continued to walk, humming a cheerful tune to herself; oblivious to their presence. She was just about to pass the back entry when David sprang at her from behind, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her sideways into the entry.
Winnie put up a mighty struggle and clung to her shopping bag. Then Peter was upon her too, covering her mouth with his hand to stifle her screams and helping David to steer her towards the darkness of the back entry. Despite her determination, Winnie was no match for two strong, young men.
‘Give us the fuckin’ bag, grandma!’ ordered David.
‘No!’ she yelled.
While Peter continued to push Winnie towards the back entry, David wrestled with her for the bag. But she wouldn’t let go. Once they had her in the shadows of the back entry, David stepped up the pressure. He pulled the bag back and forth trying to loosen it from Winnie’s grip. But still she held on to her precious load.
Spurred on by a rush of adrenalin, Peter joined in the fight. He pushed Winnie to the ground where the force of the impact made her release her grip on the shopping bag. Peter grabbed it quick while Winnie squealed in pain as her fragile old bones smashed against the cobbles.
‘Silly old cow! Should have let go, you fuckin’ old alky,’ snarled David, giving her a sharp kick in her back.
Winnie yelled in pain but the two youths were devoid of sympathy. Their focus was on Winnie’s shopping bag. They sped away with their prize while Winnie lay shocked and battered on the cold, hard cobbles, crying out for help.
When they had ru
n a safe distance, they stopped at a school and made their way inside the grounds, which were unlit. They sorted through the contents of Winnie’s bag. There were two bottles of cheap wine and one of sherry, which Peter passed to his friend. David took a few swigs from the bottle, laughing between sips.
‘Come on, what else is there?’ asked David impatiently.
Peter rewarded his curiosity by putting his hand back inside the bag and withdrawing a purse from the bottom. He quickly unfastened it to examine the contents.
‘Wow!’ said David. ‘Who’d have thought a scruffy old alky like her would be carrying so much dosh?’
Little did they know that it was Winnie’s pension. She was superstitious about leaving it in the house; too worried that burglars might break in and steal it. So she carried it around with her, foolishly assuming that it would be safe that way. Now that had gone, Winnie had nothing left to live on until her next pension day.
The boys weren’t concerned about Winnie’s circumstances. For Peter it was a matter of survival, and David didn’t have a conscience. He would make money the easiest way possible despite the trauma to his victims. Peter sifted through the money, counted it, then divided it between himself and David.
‘Nice little payout, Pete,’ David said smugly. ‘And she’s even let us have some booze so we can celebrate,’ he chuckled.
Peter grinned back at him and tucked his share of their spoils into his trouser pocket, satisfied that things weren’t going too badly. Maybe he didn’t need his father after all.
*
Adele had just finished a gruelling three-hour exam and was on the way home. She was heading towards the bus stop when she saw David Scott’s younger sister, Lindsey, in the distance. Adele hurried to catch up with her despite her concerns that Lindsey might be as peevish as her brother, David. Adele hadn’t seen anything of Peter since their father had thrown him out and she was worried about him. Perhaps Lindsey would know where he was.
‘Lindsey, wait!’ Adele shouted when she was within a few metres of her.
Born Bad Page 16
