by Adam Zorzi
“What does that mean?”
“That means,” said Jill, “you do a lot of things. You don't have to conform to what other people say you should do.”
“To doing the unexpected,” toasted Selma.
The three women raised their glasses. “Hear, hear,” chorused Suzanne and Jill.
Predictably, their father spoke before the conversation skittered into the politics of modern women. “What's everyone doing for Christmas?”
Rob jumped in. “Suzanne and I are going to Houston for a few days and then on to Cozumel for five days.” Both of their sons had moved out of state after college. “Given the choice of a son in Chicago and one in Houston in December, we picked Houston.”
Dan let Jill answer. Mørk made him irritable. Couldn't they enjoy Thanksgiving before jumping to the next holiday?
“Dan, Kaitlyn, and I are going to Charleston for Christmas with my parents. Then it's up to Vermont for snowboarding for Kaitlyn and me, skiing for Dan, and ice skating and sledding for all of us. What about you?”
“Selma and I are staying here and making the rounds of parties of our Richmond friends. Of course, we'll see half of them the next week in Florida. I like the old traditions and beauty of a Virginia Christmas, but not enough to maintain a big house for another icy winter. Checking heating oil levels, worrying about burst pipes, and shoveling snow.”
Rob burst out laughing. “Dad, you've never shoveled snow. Dan and I did until college and then you hired a maintenance service.”
“Rob's right, Dad. Can't blame your move on snow removal.” Dan spoke for the first time.
Suzanne turned to Dan. “So you are paying attention. You've been awfully quiet. Is your room empty yet?” she teased.
His parents had bought the Florida villa furnished and were having an estate sale the first week of December. Rob and Dan had been asked to clear out their childhood rooms in September.
“It most certainly is,” answered his mother. “I've cleaned it, had it painted, and closed the door on both boys' bedrooms.”
“Dan, did you throw anything away?” asked Rob.
“Yes, clothes.” He'd hated dismantling the room filled with his childhood memories, video games from middle school, and all of his high school paraphernalia. Textbooks, Varsity Lacrosse jacket, and prom pictures.
“Clothes that were made for a thirteen-year-old boy?” Rob was trying to get a rise out of him.
“Pretty much.” Dan speared an asparagus. “Plus a threadbare Metallica tee shirt that belonged to you.”
“Not Metallica,” Rob clutched his chest in mock horror. “Jill, what's in your garage?”
She laughed. “Not too much. Dan's bed, dresser, and bookcase along with some framed prints from the upstairs hallway. I've been assured I'll be pleased he saved things someday. In case you're wondering, we still have room to put at least one car plus my cycling gear in the garage.” Her eyes twinkled at Dan as she spoke.
Rob shook his head. “Dan's such a pack-rat.”
“And you, Rob, are obsessively compulsively neat,” she smiled. “Isn't there a medical term for that? OCD?”
“Maybe, but I'll bet you have a box of photographs in your garage, too, Jill.” Rob helped himself to more turkey. “Dan stole my camera when he was four and hasn't stopped taking pictures since. I only use my phone to snap something these days.”
“Dad stole something?” Katie's eyes were wide. “Did you give it back?”
Dan gave Rob a sharp look. “No, Katie, Uncle Rob is exaggerating. He let me borrow his camera and I haven't given it back yet. I still have it.”
“See,” Rob pointed his fork at Dan,” one hundred percent pack-rat.”
“Big deal, Rob,” said Jill. “Dan likes photo memories and he'll put them on a drive eventually. I love the book he made me from pictures in the pre-cell phone era of renovating the house while I was pregnant. Before and after are fun to look at. Dan did so much work himself. I didn't realize how much until I looked through the memory book. I do remember he insisted on hand-stenciling the kitchen ceiling border himself because he didn't want me on a ladder. I'd forgotten how loopy it was. Kaitlyn was in pre-K before I had the heart to redo it. The imperfection made it ours. We did a great job of making the smallish house work for the three of us. We wanted to be in an older neighborhood with no Homeowners Association.”
“Don't get me started on our Homeowner's Association,” pleaded Rob.
In an attempt to change the topic, Dan said, “Guess who I ran into Monday when I was downtown at a training session?”
“Our esteemed mayor,” guessed Rob who had gone to high school with the nerd who currently held that position.
Dan shook his head. “Bigger.”
“Tony Bennett,” said Selma.
“Couldn't be.” Suzanne shook her head. “He's not coming until December.”
“Tell us, Dan. We don't know who's bigger than the mayor and in town,” said Rob.
“Can I have more yams, please, Gran?” asked Kaitlyn.
“Why of course you may,” she responded emphasizing the word “may,” and served her beloved grandchild.
“Bella,” Dan said with a flourish.
Silence fell around the table except for Kaitlyn identifying the marshmallows she wanted on her yams.
“Bella Davis?” Rob asked. “The one with the fine ass?”
“That girl you went out with in college?” their dad demanded.
“The one who broke your heart until Jill came along?” asked their mom as she smiled in Jill's direction.
Dan nodded. “She was at the Omni, too, having given a speech to the Virginia Bar Association. She's a big time securities lawyer in New York.”
“What's securities, Dad?” asked Katie.
“Financial stuff like the stock market, banks, and the Securities and Exchange Commission. Anything to do with regulations about how Wall Street works. Lots of technical rules.”
“She must know a lot about math,” concluded Katie.
“How did she look?” jabbed Rob. “Old and fat, no doubt.” Rob passed the mashed potatoes around for seconds.
“She looked pretty much the same, except she was wearing a black suit and sky high heels. Carried a leather briefcase.”
“Married?” asked their father who sent Dan a disapproving look.
“Widowed.”
“Is that so?” mused Rob. “How long?”
“A while, I think.”
“Widows are hot,” said Rob. “Men don't have to deal with an ex.”
“Kids?” asked Suzanne.
Dan shook his head.
“Sounds like you two had a pretty cozy chat,” Suzanne noted.
Dan glared at his sister-in-law. “Hardly. Said hello, surprised to see you, what've you been doing for the last twenty-five years. She had a plane to catch.”
“You told her you were married with an adorable daughter, I'm sure,” said his mother graciously.
“Oh, don't tease him,” said Jill. “He was shocked to see her. Never mind right where his training session was being held. Dan wouldn't be interested in an old bag like her when he's got a fun wife in her thirties.” She winked at Dan.
“I don't know; she was really beauti…” started Rob before their father sent him a withering look.
“My son would never do anything as foolish as consider another woman when he's married to you, Jill. He's a good man,” their dad said firmly.
Dan started to feel uneasy. He recalled three Thanksgivings when Bella joined them right at this table. Everyone had seemed enchanted with her. Bella had mesmerized a not-yet-married Rob with her beauty and hot bod. Their father had alternated playing chess with her and discussing world affairs that bored the rest of the family. He had been impressed that she was fluent in three languages. Even though Bella didn't cook, she had set an elegant table and relieved Mom of all kitchen clean-up duties.
Bella glowed. When she entered a room, she hypnotized everyone into being happy and comfortable and
garrulous. Most importantly, this beautiful, brilliant, and sensuous woman had loved him. Him. From the day they'd met at seventeen, neither had questioned living separate lives. His parents had expected her to be their daughter-in-law.
Katie's voice drew Dan back to the present. “What's for dessert, Gran? Are we going to have pumpkin pie and oatmeal raisin cookies and ice cream?”
“Why, Kaitlyn, I hadn't planned to serve all three at once, but I can.” Selma pushed her chair back and stood. “Help me clear the plates and we'll go look at desserts.”
“May Abbie come?” Katie asked as she slid out of her chair and took her grandmother's hand.
“I don't think we can keep her away.”
Abbie, who had been asleep by Dan's feet, trotted behind them. Jill and Suzanne cleared the table and took orders for coffee and tea.
With the rest of his family occupied, Dan felt a whoosh of relief.
***
After dinner, Katie slept on her grandparents’ four poster bed with Abbie curled at her feet. The Ramsay women took one last look around upstairs to see if there was anything they wanted as a keepsake. The three Ramsay men sat in the living room and drank what was left of the last bottle of cognac from the liquor cabinet.
Rob inhaled his snifter and was about to launch into the traditional post-Thanksgiving dinner analysis of the UVA Cavaliers bowl game possibilities when their father looked hard at Dan.
“You didn't do anything foolish over that Bella girl, did you? Drive her to the airport, exchange phone numbers, talk about when she'd be in town again?”
Dan was taken aback. He hadn't discussed his dating life with either of his parents since Bella had dumped him. “Dad,” he scoffed. It was as though his father had read his mind. Dan had offered to drive Bella to the airport, but she'd already called a taxi. He'd gotten her cell number and asked when she'd be back in Richmond. She'd laughed and said probably never.
Secretly, he'd called her the next day, Tuesday, to ask if she'd gotten home safely as if travel between Richmond and New York was riddled with danger. He'd called again yesterday to wish her a happy holiday.
“That girl took every piece of your heart and held it for five years.” Their father was fired up. “When she ripped it up and handed it back, you tried to kill yourself, Dan. Damn near succeeded. Took ten years off your mother's life. You saw a psychiatrist and took pills for depression for what—thirty months afterwards? You couldn't live on your own; you didn't have a job. It was three years before you felt anywhere near normal. Your mother and I thought she'd ruined you for any other girl until Jill came along. You were forty years old by then.”
Rob didn't say a word, but he kept looking at Dan for a response. He swiveled his head between the two as though he were at a tennis match.
“Enough, Dad,” Dan said tightly. “She lives in New York City and has dozens of men around her. She had no idea I was still in Richmond. She thought I lived in Los Angeles. She's not interested in a yokel like me.”
“So you did ask where she lived and if she was dating anyone seriously.” Their father swallowed the last of his Courvoisier and looked like he might pound his fist on the coffee table.
“Dad, you heard Jill. Why would I want anyone else when I have her?”
“Because it's Bella. She's in your blood, under your skin, and in your mind. You can't think when she's around.”
He'd had enough. Their dad was like a bloodhound. Dan stood. “Jill,” he called from the bottom of the stairs. “Jill, we need to get going. I want to walk Abbie before it gets too late.”
He had to get out of that house.
CHAPTER FIVE
November, One Year Later
“I'm glad you and Mom could visit. I'm sorry we won't celebrate Thanksgiving together. With this new system being installed, I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving for the first time in ages and be on call throughout the weekend. Jill and Katie are going to visit the Carters in Charleston.”
Dan and his father were taking Abbie for a walk around the neighborhood Sunday afternoon before his parents flew back to Florida that evening. Indian summer had lingered through the weekend. Green leaves had turned red, but sun covered the neighborhood in warmth and gold light. The smells of fall were subtle but noticeable.
“No, son, we just came up for the wedding last night. Not many of my contemporaries live to see their friend's granddaughter get married. Beautiful wedding. Beautiful couple. More than a few wet eyes during the ceremony.”
“Glad you enjoyed it.” They stopped for Abbie to sniff something slimy under a pile of wet red leaves that smelled disgusting. “Katie loved seeing you both. She misses you.”
His father took time before responding. “Dan, you've got to stop this nonsense with Bella. It's bad enough you've broken your marriage vows, but you've got a fine wife and a daughter to raise together. Kaitlyn is a bright girl. She'd be devastated to learn that her father is a liar and a cheat. Her life would be ruined if Jill found out about you carrying on with Bella and divorced you. That little girl needs her parents to stay together.”
Abbie moved on and so did they.
“Dad, nothing is going on with Bella.” He felt blindsided. Why would his father bring this up? Dan felt panicky even though he was an adult and what his father thought didn't matter.
“Don't lie to me, Dan. You're my son. I've lived in your house for the past three days and observed. You're on another planet. You seem giddy for no reason. You can't wait to get to work where no doubt you call Bella or see Bella. You're distracted around Jill. You're not yourself.”
“I can't believe this, Dad. You think I'm having an affair because I'm happy and like my job?” He could bluff this out.
“Don't insult me. You're having an affair with that woman, and it's written all over your face. I know what your Bella face looks like. It's not like any other expression. You can't control yourself around her. You're reckless. Sooner or later, Jill's going to notice, too.”
Dan stopped and turned to face his father. He didn't need to lie. He could do what he wanted without his father's approval.
“This is none of your business, Dad. I've loved Bella since the day I met her when I was seventeen years old. I never stopped. I can't stop. I don't want to stop.”
“Oh, bull. You sound like you're a love-sick seventeen-year-old now. You're a fifty-year-old man with a wife and child. You can't turn your back on them just because that woman has shown up and bewitched you.
“How do you know she's not going to tire of you and leave you just like she did before? I'm not unaware of her charms. She's beautiful and smart and sexy. She's a sophisticated woman in the shiniest city in the world. She lives a high life. There are plenty of billionaires and celebrities for her to date. How long do you think she's going to trifle with a small time guy like you? She got bored before; she'll get bored again.”
Dan's face flushed with anger. His father was uncanny. He went right to the crux of the sore spot with Bella. She was surprised and disappointed that he'd never followed the dreams he'd shared when they were young lovers. He'd never become an entrepreneur with offices around the world. He was stuck in a cubicle farm working at a civil service job not ten miles from where he grew up. Wasting his intellect, his education, his life. The man she'd known had big dreams. He'd never have settled for a paycheck and mediocrity. He'd explained that when she left, all his ambition and drive and confidence went with her. Bella said she understood, but he wondered if she'd forgiven him for being weak. He thought so. He hoped so.
“Well?” demanded his father. Abbie pulled at her leash so they moved faster.
“Dad, it's my life. I've tried to put Bella out of my mind. I spend more time than ever with Jill. She's great. We had a terrific time on our vacation without Katie in Banff this summer. I was scared to death when Jill had that emergency hysterectomy in August. I was crazy with worry about her until she was well enough to go back to work. I still think she tries to do too much. I'm not wi
ld about her training for the one hundred mile cycling event. I know it's something she wants to do, but I wish she'd wait until next year. Jill says her doctor gave her the green light and she's going to train. Even Katie thinks I'm over-protective of her.
“I don't want to hurt Jill. She's the mother of my child, but she's not Bella. I'll take care of Jill. I'll always take care of Katie. I just can't live my life without Bella.”
Dan's father made a noise that sounded like disgust. They turned around and headed back to the house.
“Dan, I'm asking as your father to break it off with that woman before it's too late. Before you lose everything that matters. You've already lost my respect. And your mother's. Think with that good mind of yours about what you're doing. Promise me you'll stop this nonsense. Be a man. A husband. A father. A good son.”
His mother knew, too. His parents had obviously discussed it, but he couldn't live according to what his parents wanted. He wanted Bella for the rest of his life.
“Sorry you feel that way, Dad. I'm going to ask Jill for a divorce. Frankly, she deserves someone who can love her better than I can. Katie will be all right.”
“I'm sorry, too, son. I didn't think I'd raised a cheat and a liar.”
His dad picked up the pace. “Your mother's asked Rob to take us to the airport. Even she can't bear to be around you right now. You're childish and selfish and you reek of lust for that woman. You're a great disappointment. I'm embarrassed you're my son.”
CHAPTER SIX
“Did he really?” laughed Bella when Dan told her about his father's heart-to-heart before he’d left the previous night “After all we've been through to be together, did he think a stern talk from him would pry us apart?”
Dan arrived early Monday for the shortened work week. He sat in his office with the door closed. The staff were used to him spending at least two hours behind closed doors every day. He'd confided in the woman in the office next to his. She'd worked in the department as long as he had and didn't know Bella or Jill. She was a safe sounding board for his mixed feelings about divorcing Jill to marry Bella. Divorced herself, she didn't offer any advice. She seemed puzzled by his description of Bella as his soul mate, the other part of him that made him whole. She confessed she'd never had such a thing. She'd never known anyone who'd had that kind of love.
