“You can always hang out with me. We can sit up all night and watch old movies and pretend we’re eating ice cream,” The Lich Lord said.
“I miss ice cream. I chewed on a piece of stale Snickers a few weeks ago. I even swallowed it, even though it tasted like nothing. I have no idea what happened to it, though. I never expelled it, if you know what I mean.” Darlene sighed. “I’m a fat girl. Even though my body is now lean and I have actual muscles, inside I’m still that overweight chick hiding behind the makeup counter, wondering why the men don’t notice me. I was a binge-eater. That was always my thing. Home on a Friday night with a gallon of ice cream and a bag of chips. Watching bad romantic comedies when my dad went to bed. Stuffing my face with food. Now, when I’m bored, I can’t even do that. I can’t watch the sun rise or go down. I’m back to being alone.”
The Lich Lord shook his head. “Poor you. Boo hoo. You are immortal. You won’t age or catch a cold. You don’t need to watch your weight. Don’t need to breathe or get tired. No more sleeping.”
“I was rather fond of sleeping,” Darlene said.
The Lich Lord smiled. “Truthfully… me, too. I liked to dream. Get away from reality for awhile. I miss drinking scotch and eating sushi.”
“Not trying to be a pain in the ass, but we have a couple of major problems to take care of,” Tosha said from twenty feet away. She’d been pacing back and forth after she’d gotten off the radio. “The zombies are just standing there.”
“Waiting for a signal,” Darlene said. “It’s my son. I know it. He’s already sent a monstrous zombie after me. He’s creating assassins. Very powerful and very scary.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?” The Lich Lord asked.
“Because I handled it. When I tried to reach out to you, it was blocked. Remember? We block each other,” Darlene said.
“We should probably drop that for awhile and work together. It would make all of this easier. Is there any chance your son might be adding discord to the ranks inside The Promised Land? Maybe using his powers to turn people against me?” The Lich Lord asked.
“It is possible. More than likely, though, it’s just a few dissenters who don’t like being ruled by a zombie. You’re never going to be able to win over everyone,” Darlene said.
“I’d like to think outside forces are doing this.”
“If that helps your ego,” Darlene said.
The Lich Lord shook his head. “I don’t have an ego.”
“Oh, but you most certainly do. While you might think you’re beyond having normal feelings and emotions, you’ve actually just heightened them. You want to be loved by your people. Those you rule over. I’m not trying to pick a fight or say what you’re doing for these survivors is bad. I’m just saying: open your eyes and be honest with yourself,” Darlene said.
She felt sad. The Lich Lord and she were a lot alike. They both just wanted to fit in, even though they were the supposedly superior beings in the equation. It didn’t matter what power they wielded or what great things they could do or destroy, it still came down to the very human feeling of wanting to be liked.
“I don’t agree,” The Lich Lord said but they both knew it was a lie.
Tosha clapped her hands. “It looks like we have two problems to deal with. I can deal with at least one of them but you need to tell me which one. Standing here, reminiscing about what life could’ve been isn’t helping either way. I need something to do.”
“I’m going with Darlene to check on the zombies. Call your people back in. I don’t want to lose anyone,” The Lich Lord said.
“You got it. I’ll start pounding the pavement and see who I can drag up about the conspiracy to take you out,” Tosha said.
“No. I want you to stand down for tonight. Figure out who you can trust,” The Lich Lord said.
“What if they’re planning on doing this now? Darlene might’ve intercepted a shred of evidence because they are acting on it. Let me start questioning the people I think could be behind it,” Tosha said.
“I said no.” The Lich Lord stared at Tosha. “I will deal with it when I return. It will be much easier for me to simply scan the crowds and see what I can find in seconds. You banging heads together might flush them out, or it might run them underground where I’ll never find them.”
Darlene didn’t agree with him. She knew he was micromanaging the situation but it wasn’t her place to argue the point. There would be plenty of time to get to the bottom of this problem when they returned from seeing the zombies.
She hoped.
Things were now in motion and she wanted to slow everything down. Be able to take a step back and understand what was going on and if these two incidents were connected in some way or just happening at the same time.
But there was no time to dwell on it.
“Let’s go,” The Lich Lord said and began walking west.
“Wait, Darlene…” It was Tosha speaking, coming up to Darlene with a frown.
Darlene waited, motioning for The Lich Lord to wait for her but keep his distance for some privacy. She figured now was as good a time as any to have it out with Tosha or find out what she wanted. Would The Lich Lord do anything if Tosha was foolish enough to attack Darlene? Probably not. Even though he liked Tosha, he’d also liked Jeff. Who knew how many more executioners he’d use before this was all over with.
“I want to thank you,” Tosha said, which surprised Darlene.
“Why?”
“For helping my sister go to a better place.”
Darlene nodded. “I think you thanked me already.”
“Did I? It’s just… I don’t know… I miss her,” Tosha said. “Sometimes I wish I could still see her.”
“She’s beyond our reach, which is a good thing. Mathyu needed to leave this world for a better one,” Darlene said. She didn’t know if Tosha was trying to ask if Darlene could get in contact with or bring back her twin sister.
Tosha glanced up at the sky. “I just hope I see her again. I have a really bad feeling I’m going to end up in Hell and she’ll be upstairs playing videogames and listening to metal while I’m burning in hellfire while Barry Manilow music plays.”
“You’re welcome,” Darlene said.
Chapter Twenty Four
Whopper was passed out on his couch with an empty bag of potato chips on the floor and crumbs on his naked bulk.
“Fuck, dude, put on some underwear,” Terry said and looked away in disgust. “Do you even have a dick under there?”
Whopper jumped up, falling to the floor and farting as he tried to get to his knees.
Mitch had to laugh. Terry had scared the shit out of the big man.
“What are you doing in my house?” Whopper asked, scrambling to his feet and scratching his stomach.
“Seriously… pants?” Terry glanced at Mitch, who was getting a kick out of this back and forth. “I don’t want to see your balls.”
Whopper laughed and jiggled his stomach. “What’s the matter? I don’t turn you on? I see the way you stare at my ass.” He started laughing and turned, pushing garbage off of the couch where he’d been sleeping. “I think I have sweatpants.”
“Just put something on,” Terry said. “Don’t you have air conditioning?”
“It was nice out so I opened the windows. Needed to get the smell out of here,” Whopper said and lifted a pair of very large underwear, shaking them as if he’d found money.
“Turn the air on,” Terry said. “It still smells really bad. Like your ass.”
Whopper was struggling to get his leg up to put his underwear on, leaning against the arm of the couch. “Do whatever you want. Why are you even here?”
“I wanted to see how your day went,” Terry said. He was about to sit down in a chair but thought better of it. He felt gross even standing on the floor.
Mitch lifted his foot and brought it down quickly. When Terry looked at him, Mitch smiled. “Cockroach. I’m sure he has many friends living with Whopper.”
>
“Not funny,” Whopper said. He’d managed to get his underwear on but didn’t look too interested in finding sweatpants or a shirt. “Tell me why you’re really here. You never make visits to my place, unless you think something wrong happened.”
“Why? Did something wrong happen?” Terry asked.
Whopper was sweating but Mitch didn’t know if it was because he was trying to hide something or because it was disgustingly hot in the house. There were no fans so the air was just stagnant. Mitch hoped they were done with this soon because he needed fresh air.
“Nothing wrong happened. Don’t start getting paranoid,” Whopper said and sat down on the couch. “I remember what happened the last time you got paranoid.”
Terry smiled and began pacing, keeping his gaze on Whopper.
Mitch noticed Whopper had tried to casually slip his hand between the arm of the couch and the cushion he was sitting on.
“This has nothing to do with the past. Those mistakes were corrected. If I’m not mistaken, you played a big part in it,” Terry said.
Whopper smiled. “I was your enforcer. I guess you got a new one now.” He glanced at Mitch. “Is this my pink slip? Am I fired? Because I’ve done nothing to warrant it. I went on a fucking run with the redhead because she picked me. It isn’t the first time, either. She saw me walking and told me I was driving today. It wasn’t a big deal. Shit, I only went out for a few hours before we had to come back, anyway.”
While Whopper was talking, Mitch was slowly moving to his left, trying to get around the couch and whatever Whopper was reaching for. If he could get close enough, maybe he’d be able to pounce and knock a weapon out of his hand.
“Why’d you come back so soon? And why didn’t you come get me and let me know?” Terry asked.
Whopper snorted. “I was given the day off by the redhead. I took it. I admit I should’ve told you. I was planning on taking a quick nap and then coming over to your place but I guess I overslept. It’s not every day you get time off.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” Mitch said, now in position next to the couch and Whopper, who didn’t seem to notice how close he’d gotten. “Why was your trip cut short?”
“Oh. The zombie horde,” Whopper said, as if he’d just talked about what he’d eaten for dinner.
“What are you babbling about?” Terry asked. Mitch could see he was getting angrier by the minute and this might become an explosive situation. Mitch needed to watch not only for Whopper pulling a weapon but Terry to pull his and start shooting, too.
“I drove Tosha and two of her hot chick friends to the mall. They went inside and I hung outside, sweating my ass off. It’s brutal out there. Even with the windows on the bus open. They only open this much,” Whopper said and held his hands about a foot apart. “Not much circulation.”
“Get to the fucking zombies,” Terry said.
“I was just sitting there, minding my own business, wondering how long it was going to take. I knew the chicks were going to be a long time in the mall and I’d forgotten to bring a book or a puzzle or something to kill time. Just looking out the window at the same hot pavement,” Whopper said and looked off to the side like he was trying to show Terry and Mitch how he was looking, as if they hadn’t understood what he was saying.
“Zombies,” Terry said through gritted teeth. He’d stopped pacing and Mitch could see his hands were at his side, getting ready to pull his pistol.
Mitch slapped Whopper lightly in the head, more of a playful gesture. “Focus. Just tell the important part of the story. We don’t have time to listen to all this bullshit.”
Whopper looked hurt. “I’m trying to tell you. Stop interrupting.”
Mitch put his hand up so Terry didn’t start shooting at Whopper.
“Please… continue,” Mitch said.
“One second there’s nothing but haze on the pavement and a burnt out hotel across the parking lot. I look away, towards the racetrack, wishing we could have NASCAR again,” Whopper said. Mitch moved his hand like he was going to strike again and Whopper got the hint. “I turned back, expecting to see the hotel. But there were maybe fifty zombies, all standing in a cluster, just staring in my direction.”
“Fifty isn’t really a horde,” Terry said.
“Can I continue?” Whopper asked, looking annoyed.
Terry waved his hand.
“I didn’t think it was a big deal at first. I checked around to make sure none of them had snuck up on the bus or were trying to get to me. When I turned back, there were close to two hundred. All lined up in straight rows, maybe twenty five across and eight or nine rows deep. And I saw more of them approaching and getting in line right behind the others. I couldn’t see all the way around the building but it looked like they were down the entire side of the mall. Just standing still and facing ahead,” Whopper said.
“What did you do?” Mitch asked.
“I radioed Tosha and told her she needed to see this. When she came out and saw, they tossed some of the backpacks they’d found inside and we drove away, but not far,” Whopper said.
“Backpacks?” Mitch asked.
Whopper nodded.
Tosha is in there stealing all of my stuff, Mitch thought. And she figured out my traps. Damn. Why did I tell her?
“There’s shit in the mall?” Terry asked.
Whopper shrugged his shoulders. “I was too busy panicking about the zombies to worry about some backpacks.”
Mitch was about to admit they were his but decided against it. He didn’t trust Terry or anyone else one hundred percent, especially since Tosha had knocked him for a loop. Better to keep his mouth shut and hope she didn’t get everything.
“What happened to the zombies? Why did you say you didn’t drive far?” Mitch asked, hoping to get back to the main story and distract Terry from worrying about his backpacks.
“Tosha made me pull off down the road when she saw they weren’t moving. The zombies were just standing there like robots or something. I pulled around but made sure I kept the engine running. Finally, after it was obvious they weren’t in any rush to pursue, Tosha had her two hot chick friends jump out and keep watch while I drove us back. That was it. She told me to keep my mouth shut about what I’d seen and go home. I had the rest of the day off, and, if I didn’t open my mouth, I could have tomorrow off, too.” Whopper grinned. “She also offered me a blowjob.”
Mitch wanted to punch Whopper in the face. He was lying.
“So you went home and fell asleep, knowing we had a zombie horde about to attack, because Tosha told you to?” Terry asked, throwing his hands in the air.
“I’m getting a blowjob,” Whopper said quietly.
“We need to kill The Lich Lord tonight,” Terry said.
“You’re joking, right? We need him to fight the zombies. We can’t do it without him,” Mitch said.
“Don’t you see? This is the perfect time to eliminate The Lich Lord. He’ll be gone and we can show everyone he abandoned us in our time of need. He never cared about us at all,” Terry said.
Mitch put up a hand. “Or… we let him fight the zombies and, when he’s just about wiped them out and still distracted, I shoot him twice in the head from a distance. We never know who the shooter is in case anyone sees it. We take him out after he cleans up the mess.”
Terry smiled. “I like your thinking. We need to call a meeting. Right away.” He turned to Whopper. “Get your fat ass dressed and meet us at the parking garage. Hurry the fuck up. You have no idea how close you came to dying.”
“About as close as I came to getting that blowjob, I bet,” Whopper said and shook his head.
Chapter Twenty Five
The Lich Lord stepped off to the side of the road, blending into the shadows when the headlights appeared. Darlene stood her ground before disappearing.
“You waste energy that way,” he said when the car with Bernie and April passed their position. “And you’re showing off.”
“It wa
s easier to turn invisible than to run into the bushes like a deer in headlights,” Darlene said.
“Still think you’re showing off. I can do it, too. I just choose not to,” The Lich Lord said.
“Suit yourself.” Darlene started walking down the road. “I don’t suppose you want to keep running fast. That would also be showing off.”
The Lich Lord turned on the speed, flying past Darlene. She quickly caught up, pacing with him as they headed west.
“No zombies anywhere,” The Lich Lord said, putting out feelers as he moved. “In fact, I don’t feel anything living in the area beyond grass and trees.”
“Even the birds have decided they need to be somewhere else. This is eerie,” Darlene said.
The Lich Lord stopped when he caught sight of the mall down the road. He scanned the area but it was void of anything until his feelers got to the far end parking lot. “I’m locked in.”
“So am I,” Darlene said. “I’m going to guess my son is nearby. More than likely with a bunch of zombie assassins with weapons for arms. The first one he sent was a test, to see how I’d react.”
“I’m sure he has a few smarter members of his entourage to command his undead army. We need to get closer to count how many we’re dealing with. I’m going to guess they’re waiting for a signal,” The Lich Lord said.
“Hopefully an appearance by me isn’t the signal.” Darlene was looking west down the road. “Do you see what I see?”
“Yes,” The Lich Lord said but he didn’t know what she was talking about. All he saw was darkness, even with his superior vision. Darlene had better eyes than he did and he wondered, as he often did, how much more powerful she was than the rest of them. Even the ones who’d evolved first and been changing longer.
Darlene turned to him and smirked. “Tell me what you see.”
The Lich Lord wanted to strike her but thought better of it. Fighting her would only make things worse. He decided he’d take care of Darlene Bobich when these new threats were over. Maybe hire whoever was trying to kill him to take her out, or at least figure out their plan and use it for his own purposes.
Dying Days 7 Page 12
