by Sloan Storm
After I finished speaking, we looked at one another in silence for several moments. Eventually, Fiona broke her gaze.
“I’m only going to ask you once more, Fiona. How is the preparation going for the presentation? Have you been working on becoming a better speaker?”
After clearing her throat, Fiona spent the better part of the next five minutes explaining that she’d joined Toastmasters and was, in fact, growing in confidence where public speaking was concerned. Frustrated though I was with her, I listened intently, asking questions where I needed clarification. Satisfied she’d been putting in the effort she’d likely need, I nodded, returned to a standing position and walked back towards my desk.
“Thank you. Feel free to show yourself out, Fiona.”
After a moment or two, I heard the sound of the chair moving along the carpet as she scooted it out from beneath the table. After sliding back into my own, I glanced up at her for a moment. As I did, Fiona smoothed her clothing and slid a handful of her blond hair behind her ears. It was a pity, really. She was such a beautiful woman. Curvy in all the right spots… an absolute angel. I just wished she’d learn to see herself the way I did.
“Gabe,” she said, as she turned to leave. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean it.”
Breaking eye contact with her, I reached for my pen. “Goodbye, Fiona. We’ve all got work to do. Let’s get back to it.”
FIONA
I stood there looking at him. My stomach sank.
All I wanted was for him not to treat me like an object at every opportunity he had. Of course it was flattering but at the same time it was becoming an ever greater threat to me in a professional and emotional sense. I couldn’t understand why he was unable to see it.
The professional part of it had me less concerned. The presentation aside, I had enough confidence that the lab work and our contributions to the Link Protocol would be more than sufficient. And even though some hard deadlines were fast approaching, I didn’t see any long term-risks to our progress.
On the other hand, the confidence I had in my emotions was far less reliable.
Obviously, my feelings for Gabe were far beyond what I’d ever experienced for a man. I still hadn’t bothered to discuss them with anyone. When I was with him, even if not in a romantic sense, I felt safe. Yes, he challenged me in ways I never expected. Of course, it was difficult to go through change but far from resenting him for it, I did appreciate it.
And beyond that, deep down, in spite of his outward gruffness at times, I sensed Gabe was a good, caring person. Billions of dollars in net worth aside, only someone who truly cares about the well-being of other people would start a company like Hawkins Biotech.
Oh my God… What the hell am I doing?
Desperate not to leave things in an awkward, intense state between us yet again, I swallowed hard and prepared to clarify myself.
“Gabe… can I please say something?”
“Unless it has something to do with work, Fiona, I’m not interested.”
“Well, it does.”
Gabe made a few more strokes of the pen across the page and then stopped. After placing it down on the stack of paper in front of him, he folded his hands together and nodded.
“Go on.”
I began to walk in the direction of his desk.
“May I sit?” I asked as I gestured towards one of the chairs across from him.
He nodded. “Yes, but make this quick.”
I slid into the chair across from Gabe’s desk. For a brief moment, I reached down to clutch my sleeves in my palms, but at the last instant, I resisted and cleared my throat.
“Gabe, I-I don’t know where to begin.”
Gabe didn’t hesitate. “Look, Fiona, I really don’t have time for this. Say what you gotta say or go.”
“Okay, okay.” I replied. “But, just promise you’ll hear me out.”
Gabe nodded as he looked at me. “Of course. Go ahead.”
Reaching up, I crossed my hands at my chest. “Gabe I just want you to know how much I respect and admire what you’re doing with the Link Protocol and with medicine, in general. I think you are a visionary and that the work we are doing here will positively impact the lives of millions of people.”
Gabe waved me off. “Fiona, I’m not looking for an ego stroking here, okay? I appreciate it, but it’s not necessary.”
“I know that,” I began. I inched forward in my seat, tilting my upper body towards him. “Just please, let me finish.”
Gabe shook his head once or twice and leaned back in his chair. “No, Fiona. I don’t have time right now. Look, there’s a lot to do and not much time left. I’m frustrated with you right now, yes, but nothing more. Let’s leave discussions about what’s going on between us for a later time. All right?”
As soon as he finished speaking, I felt a strange mix of disappointment and relief. Disappointment in the fact that he’d stopped me before I could tell him how I felt, but at the same time, relief in the sense that my frustrations apparently hadn‘t damaged our relationship.
“Yes, okay.” I said.
“Is there anything else right now, Fiona?”
I shook my head and prepared to get up from the chair. “No. Not right now.”
“Okay then.” Gabe said.
Reaching for the arms of the chair, I began to push myself into a standing position, when all of a sudden Gabe snapped his fingers.
“Oh!” he began, as he flipped through several pieces of paper on his desk. “I forgot to mention something about the clinical trial data that we’ve been getting back…”
“Oh, yes?” I replied.
Gabe licked his fingertips and gestured for me to wait as he continued to thumb through the stack of paper on his desk. I could tell from his expression that whatever the news was, it excited him.
“Well, now I’m intrigued.” I said.
Without lifting his head, Gabe glanced up at me. “You should be… Oh, here we go.”
After locating the information he’d been searching for, Gabe spent the next several minutes explaining that the trials had uncovered something remarkable… a possible novel usage for cancer treatment.
In essence, the treatment worked by robbing the cancer cells of what they need to thrive and multiply. For lack of a better term, the cancer cells would starve to death. This was all hypothetical, of course, but the possibility did exist. Even so, the clinical trials were in their early stages and so any experimental treatments were still a long way off.
Obviously, I thought about my grandmother. Surely someone with her advanced illness would be able to participate. However, unless by some miracle that came to pass in the next six months, it would be far too late for her.
About the only thing that would give her more time would be another round of chemotherapy. I hadn’t anticipated this turn of events. But if there was any chance that the protocol could be adapted for possible treatment, it wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t around to receive it. Maybe this news would be the push she needed to go once again.
After Gabe finished telling me, a completely random thought popped into my head. Exciting though it was, it seemed odd he’d mentioned the news to me. Could he know about my grandmother somehow? I hadn’t told Gabe anything about my personal life. What’s more, he hadn’t asked.
Even so, he had my curiosity piqued.
“Why are you telling me this, Gabe?”
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I?”
“No, I mean the possible cancer treatment application. That’s not information you needed to share.”
“Of course it is, Fiona. You’d be the first one who ought to know. Especially in your situation.”
I swallowed. “My situation?”
“Yes,” Gabe said with a slow nod of his head. “You’re the one giving the presentation, remember? If there’s any possibility, however remote it might be, to discuss the Link Protocol in the framework of cancer treatment, you can bet your ass you’ll be doing it.�
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“Of course,” I replied, as I realized he didn’t know about my grandmother after all. “Right.”
“You can handle it, Fiona. Trust me, I’ll brief you on it personally if need be.”
He winked at me as he finished speaking.
“Oh, I see.”
Gabe nodded and leaned back in his chair. The icy demeanor he’d displayed towards me minutes earlier before began to soften.
“Yes,” he said with a smirk as he interlocked his fingers across his chest. “It’s been a while since you’ve had a good briefing. And I know just the place to do it…”
I felt the hint of a smile curl in at the corner of my mouth. “I’m sure you do. May I inquire as to where that might be?”
“St. Barths,” Gabe replied without hesitation. “Gorgeous fucking place… In the Caribbean. Ever been?”
“Gabe, you’ve seen where I live. What do you think?”
Gabe nodded and leaned forward in his chair. “You’ll love it. You couldn’t hope for a better place to have the presentation. All the investors will be there, relaxing and having a good time. Trust me, you’ll float through the presentation.”
“Oh, so the presentation is in… St. Barths?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “Is that a problem?”
I shook my head and lied. “No.”
So now, not only did I have to finalize all the lab work and nail down the highlights for the presentation, but I had to somehow arrange someone to care for my grandmother while I was gone.
Since the accident years ago, we’d never been apart. Not more than twenty-four hours in over a decade. I shuffled in my seat as uncertainty about what I’d tell her and how I’d make this happen flooded my thoughts.
“Everything all right, Fiona? I thought you’d be happy about getting to travel.”
“What?” I said, still half-trapped in the myriad of decisions I’d have to make. “What did I say?”
“Well, you didn’t say anything. You just seem uncomfortable about doing it.”
“I don’t get to travel much. I’m not crazy about flying.”
“Well, you’re not flying coach, honey. Trust me. You’ll love it.”
GABE
After Fiona left my office, I realized how nice it was to see a smile on her face again.
With any luck, giving her something like the trip to St. Barth’s to look forward to might perk her spirits up. I felt as if I’d been even-handed and fair with Fiona since she came to work here. Even so, the banter we’d shared when we met had all but vanished in recent weeks.
I only caught glimpses of it now.
Gone was the shy but feisty woman I met at the bar that night. She hadn’t been afraid to engage in a bit of back and forth with me then, but now it was as if she was shadow of her former self.
Something didn’t add up. She had everything she could have wanted out of this situation, and more. She was making terrific money, doing work she loved, and putting her career on a trajectory most people her age would be thrilled to have.
But Fiona seemed distant, unhappy.
Had I caused that change in her somehow? I’d never been dishonest with her or misled her in any way about what was happening between us. But at some level, I couldn’t help but feel responsible. I sat in my chair, propped my elbows on the arms, and tented my fingers together, considering where I’d gone wrong.
She played my revelation about the possible cancer treatment emerging from the clinical trials close to the vest. I didn’t even get so much as a raised eyebrow from her. On the other hand, I had no idea how advanced her grandmother’s illness was at this point. But not to have any reaction whatsoever seemed strange.
Just then, I stood and rounded my desk, and as I did, I passed by the chair Fiona sat in minutes earlier. I caught a passing whiff of her perfume as it lingered. I wasn’t good with flowers and such, but the scent was something I’d expect to smell on a springtime stroll.
I continued across my office and walked towards the vast expanse of windows, which provided me views as far as I could see. I made my way into the bright yellow glow of the afternoon sun and stopped as the first streaks of warmth stretched across my face. Allowing my gaze to wander, I took in the horizon as I ruminated.
I wanted to understand Fiona’s problem. Without doing so, getting her to deliver the presentation I needed would be difficult, if not impossible. The past few weeks, and especially the last couple of days, were evidence of that fact.
Now more than ever, I seriously considered confronting her with what I knew.
But would that cause her to pull further away or bring her closer to me? Where Fiona was concerned, I wasn’t so certain any longer. I made lazy laps along the entire length of the windows as I considered the situation. Then another realization hit me.
I hadn’t slept with anyone else since she came to work for me. Granted, I’d been swamped with work on the Link Protocol. Any time I was the midst of a massive project, my libido took a back seat. But… no, this was something different.
Since the first time I’d slept with her, I couldn’t recall having interest in any other woman, whether in the office or outside it. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I wasn’t so dim as to think it meant nothing at all either.
Perhaps at some level, I wanted to see where things would go with her. Well, more specifically, the Fiona I met at the bar. The new version of Fiona… I couldn’t say the same thing.
Maybe I was being a bit too hard on her. After all, she wasn’t missing a beat in the lab. As far as the presentation went, I still had confidence in her. Perhaps what she and I needed right now was to get back to the way things used to be a bit.
If I were to lighten things up, she’d relax.
Would it work? I had no idea, but it was far superior to continuing on the current path.
FIONA
Even though Gabe and I seemed to have patched things up for the moment, I’d never been under so much pressure in my life.
I still hadn’t been sleeping well. But with the presentation on the horizon now, I had no choice but to focus more and more of my time on it. The sleep deprivation was starting to take a toll. During the hours I was awake, which was about twenty of them a day now, I yawned almost at an uncontrollable level.
It goes without saying I had trouble concentrating both on my own work and in meetings with the team. In the past few days, I’d begun to experience limited mobility in my neck. It got so bad for a day or so, I could barely turn it in one direction or the other.
Yet, knowing how important everything was and how much we all had on the line, I needed to do whatever I could. In no way did I want to let the team, Gabe, my grandmother or myself down. So if I had to push myself a little harder than normal, I would.
Most of what remained to be done was my responsibility, so even if I wanted to get help, I couldn’t. Gabe was counting on me, and in the wake of our last conversation, I wanted to do whatever was necessary to make him proud he’d made the decision he did.
Yet as the days wore on, the fatigue continued to mount. At this point, I more or less lived on coffee and soda. And so it was I sat at my workstation, and as I looked down at the page, I began to see spots of light. Small at first, they grew in diameter, and before long, I found it difficult to make out my notes at all. I tried blinking my eyes and rubbing them for at least a minute straight, thinking they were perhaps just tired.
Yet, even with my eyelids closed tight, the blotchy bright spots remained. By now, there was no use trying to write, as I couldn’t even see the page a foot from my face. I opened my eyes once more to try and adjust my vision, and it was around that time the room seemed brighter than normal. And not just a little brighter but much, much brighter, to the point where I felt the need to shield my eyes.
As if that wasn’t enough, the slightest sound seemed deafening all of a sudden. I pressed the tips of my fingers against my ears, squeezing my eyes closed tight in the process. Hunched over my workstation,
a sour taste entered my mouth, as I struggled against a sudden rush of nausea.
What the hell was happening to me?
It wasn’t long before Andrew noticed my obvious discomfort and made his way towards me. I felt his fingertips touch my shoulder, but the force of it seemed magnified by the sheer fact it caused me to move.
Now rocking back and forth in my chair, I moaned, deep and long.
“Fiii-oo-nnn-aaa-hhh.” His voice echoed inside my head like a thousand cymbals all crashing into one another at the same time.
“S-s-s-hh… s-s-s-hh…” I begged with a whisper, shaking in place.
Just then, I felt Andrew’s hand press into the middle of my back. He began to rub it with small, gentle circles. Returning my hushed statement with a soft one of his own he said, “I think I know what’s happening, Fiona. Can you stand?”
I remained motionless for a moment or so. After a shaky, shallow inhale, I cracked my eyelids a fraction and glanced towards Andrew. He stood above me with his hand extended. I reached for it and began to stand. As I did, I felt weakness come to my legs. Lurching for him, I grabbed hold of him just as I was about to fall. Even the small movement made it feel as if my head might split in two.
I whimpered as I clutched onto his shirt, burying my face in his chest.
“Come on Fiona,” he said. “Hold on to me. We’ll get you taken care of.”
GABE
Believe it or not, it was the first time I’d ever been to the company infirmary. Not long after I made my way inside, an older woman who I assumed was the nurse approached.
“Mr. Hawkins?” she said, as she neared. “Sir… Are you ill?”
“What?” I replied, shaking my head. “No. I’m here about the woman you admitted not long ago, Fiona Matthews.”
“Oh yes, Fiona. What about her?”
I looked past the nurse for a moment, surveying the entryway. It was as you might expect. An array of first aid equipment, a couple of exam tables and even a defibrillator. I didn’t see Fiona anywhere. My perusal didn’t go unnoticed.
