Garry’s words had hurt, they’d cut him down, Julius Caesar style, and it all still stung. He could get past it though, forget Garry’s pessimism, and still take a chance at love. There was no reason he couldn’t succeed. He was Carson for crying out loud. He could do absolutely anything!
“Speaking of green,” Fabian said, standing up. “I desperately need to wash my hair otherwise I’m going to look like a troll doll tomorrow. Chlorine and bleach. Trust me, it’s a hideous combination.”
Carson laughed, running his hands through his own hair then as he watched Fabian head for the door. “Hey, Fabian?”
He looked back, brows arched inquisitively. “Yes?”
“Thanks a lot,” Carson said, as earnest as he’d been when giving his toast to Ian.
Fabian just shook his head, calling back as he left, “Get some sleep, Carson. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, kicking his feet in the water, not ready to leave quite yet. He stared into the chlorine blue of the water, watched at the ripples and patterns it made as it lapped against the walls of the pool and swirled up his calves and he knew what he needed to do.
Mind made up at last, Carson stood, reached for a spare towel, and headed back to the stairwell.
Chapter 12
Boyfriend
Cassius couldn’t shake Sam’s question from his mind, even as he sat in the hotel lobby waiting for Adrian to join him.
What happens if things go south with you and Adrian, huh?
He chewed on his cuticles as he sat there waiting, wondering what would happen if suddenly Adrian changed his mind or something. He’d never entertained the thought before, not seriously anyway, and to be confronted with it suddenly really threw him for a loop. What if they split up? What then? And was there really even a them to split up? What the hell were they anyways? Did a long term sexual liaison actually constitute a relationship? He'd always just sort of assumed they were together, but they'd never actually talked about it.
Maybe they weren't together and he'd made some sort of mistake that way. Maybe all he was to Adrian was a warm body to sleep with. Maybe that's all Adrian meant to him. Except that wasn't true and he knew it, but they'd never actually officially acknowledged what they were to each other, besides being friends with some very exclusive, very erotic benefits. Now Cassius was completely turned around, trapped in his own head, having tuned out the rest of the world.
“Yo, space cadet.! Cassius. Hey? You awake there, buddy?”
He literally shook his head as he came back to reality, Adrian stood right in front of him with a teasing smirk tugging at his lips. Cassius couldn’t help but grin back at him. Adrian looked so good, smartly dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. He looked like a tourist instead of a footballer, and Cassius regretted not heading upstairs to change into something more comfortable. But it was a little late now, and besides, he didn’t want to keep Adrian waiting while he sorted through his luggage to find something other than his track suit to wear. So, he only smiled and hoped it wasn’t too obvious just how smitten he was. He wanted to keep a little dignity if he could.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Adrian replied. “You were really zoned out there. I’ve been calling out to you for like thirty seconds now.”
“Oh yeah?” Cassius said, laughing softly, running his hands through his hair. “Sorry. I was just…you know.”
“Thinking?” Adrian asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he answered, standing up from the plush, floral print, lounge chair. The lobby was scarcely populated, despite being relatively full of the visiting team and with their entourage in tow. It wasn’t too late in the evening, but aside from the desk staff and a few random guests milling around, the two were the only ones in the lobby. Though Cassius wasn’t ready to take full advantage of their relative privacy. He still felt nervous when it came to showing any outward signs of affection.
For his part Adrian was on the same wave length. In public, they were purely platonic. For the most part. Sure, they occasionally stole glances at each other, but they hardly made a spectacle of themselves the way Harris and Simon did. They were discreet. When they were in public, at least.
Which was why they kept a fair amount of distance between them as they walked toward the grand glass doors and out into the warm June evening. It was a perfect night for a stroll.
Uta was nothing if not inviting, the old cobblestone streets beckoning visitors to explore and become lost in the maze of old stone buildings. The moon glowed, tranquil and huge sliver in the sky, casting the entire city in a lovely silver sheen, and the stars burned bright as embers, dotting the pitch -black sky. It was picturesque, lovely, the ideal setting for a romantic walk into town. Except the two men were hardly ones for flowers and romance. Or at least, neither had given in to that side of themselves up to that point.
They liked to take walks together though and had made a habit of it whenever they were at call-ups to get out and explore their surroundings. Generally, they’d play catch up during these excursions, discussing each other’s lives before moving on to pop culture and other trivial nonsense.
They saved the intimate stuff for later, when they could be alone. Or, when they weren’t assigned as each other’s roommates, they’d stay up texting each other into the early hours of the morning, sharing their more personal details that way. But as they strolled the peaceful streets of Uta, neither one spoke for the longest time, though both of them were clearly on edge.
Adrian gave Cassius a curious glance as they walked in silence before finally asking, “So, are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?”
Cassius looked down at his feet and took a deep breath. “Maybe.”
Adrian sighed. “I hate it when you do that. Come on, Cassius. Either tell me or don’t. I hate playing the maybe game.”
“I’m sorry, I just…I have a lot on my mind.”
“Is it the tournament?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s…I talked to Sam.”
“Oh?” Adrian slowed his steps a little, causing Cassius to do the same. “What about?”
“You know what about.”
Truthfully, Adrian didn’t know what about. He had an inkling as to the nature of their conversation, but there were a few secrets between Cassius and his best friend which hadn’t been aired, as far as he knew, the relationship between the two was at the core of them all. “What’d he say?”
“He was mad.” Cassius said plainly, looking up at the sky, not noticing the bright waxing moon on the horizon. “And he wanted to know what will happen when we break up.”
“Excuse me?” Adrian sounded incredulous, coming to a full stop on the sidewalk. “He said what?”
Cassius let out a long breath. “He wants to know what’ll happen when we break up, Adrian.”
“Is that how he said it? Just like that?”
“I might be paraphrasing a little—”
“He thinks we’re going to break up?”
“Well, I guess he’s concerned that—”
“He didn’t even know we were together until today and already he’s decided we’re breaking up.”
“That’s not what he meant. He’s just—”
Adrian looked up at Cassius, silencing him with his eyes. “I get it, okay. He’s worried you’re going to get hurt.”
Cassius nodded, but said nothing.
“Are you worried you’re going to get hurt?” Adrian asked.
Cassius shook his head. “It never really occurred to me until he mentioned it.”
“Well, there you go.” Adrian started walking again and Cassius scrambled a little to keep up. “You know me better than he does, and you know us better than he does.”
“That’s true,” Cassius said, falling into step beside him.
“And besides,” he said. “It’s not as if we’re officially dating or something. We can’t break up unless we’re actually together, you know.�
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Cassius could feel his heart sink straight into the pit of his stomach. “Yeah,” he said, voice a little hoarse. “It’s not like we’re…an actual thing.”
“Exactly,” Adrian nodded, catching Cassius’s eyes just then. He paused, his own haughty expression faltering too, only for a moment. “We’re fooling around. We fuck. It’s not complicated. We're just a thing. It doesn’t mean I’m in love with you or something.”
It felt like a knife in his chest, even though he knew to expect something like that. No matter what he said or what they did together, he knew better than to expect some outpouring of love and warm, fuzzy words from Adrian. That didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt though. He stood his ground, didn’t move another inch. “Yeah, right. It’s not like you’re in love with me, Adrian. It’s not like that at all.”
Adrian had just about regained his composure, only to find himself shaken yet again. He looked Cassius up and down once, then again, and Cassius could see that he was nervous. Adrian opened his mouth, like he was going to say something biting or sly, but Cassius beat him to it, speaking in a sharp, aching whisper. “Listen, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal. What Sam said doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. We can do whatever we want. We’re adults. We can have sex without there being feelings involved.”
Adrian stood there quietly, like a scolded puppy. He didn’t say anything for a long moment, studying Cassius with his large dark eyes. Finally, he asked, uncertain, “Are you sure about that, Cass?” Cassius said nothing. Adrian took that as his cue to continue. “Because I don’t think we can.”
“You don’t think we can what?”
“I don’t think we can have sex.” Adrian coughed then. Cassius’s eyes went wide. He looked like he might pass out. “Not without there being feelings involved.”
Cassius just about choked on his own tongue. “You almost gave me a heart attack, you ass!” Adrian’s lips twitched into a sly smile. Cassius wasn’t sure if he wanted to strangle him or kiss him. “So, does this mean you were lying?”
“Lying about what?” Adrian asked, looking rather coy. Cassius couldn’t help but note the way the moonlight reflected in Adrian’s eyes, giving them a silvery sort of tinge. It gave Cassius chills, and not the bad kind either.
“About loving me.” He took a step closer to Adrian, an expectant look in his eyes.
Adrian felt himself melting, just a little, as Cassius came closer to him. He was so warm, so familiar. He felt like such a fool, such an idiot giving into him like that. “Shut up, Cass,” he protested softly, a quiet surrender. “You know I love you.”
“Yeah,” Cassius said, leaning in, pausing just before their lips could meet. “But I wanted to hear you say it.”
“You’re such a needy little—” Adrian’s words fell away, dissipating into the Cassius’ kiss. He moaned softly and was rewarded with a smug snicker from Cassius when they finally broke apart. “Damn it, Cass.”
“This doesn’t have to change anything.” Cassius said as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.
Adrian sighed, shaking his head. “I swear to God we’ve had this conversation before.”
“We probably have.”
“So, stop over thinking it, Cass. How long have we been together?”
Cassius shrugged. “I don’t know. Less than a year?”
“Like a year. And we’ve been fine, haven’t we? I mean, I thought we were fine. I thought we got each other.” Adrian took a step back, casting a look at their surroundings. In the pale streetlights, the stony old buildings looked almost like sandcastles. “I thought you got me.”
“I do,” he said firmly. “I mean, I think I do.”
Adrian frowned. “So, stop thinking about what might happen and let’s just enjoy being together. What we have works, doesn’t it? Can we please not ruin it by worrying about what Sam says? Please, Cass?” He reached for Cassius’s hand, held it tight, then brought it quickly to his lips for a brief, tender kiss, pleading with his eyes, letting them bore right through to Cassius’ soul.
Cassius felt himself blush, just a little, but he pressed on. “Alright, but, we are together, right? Like officially?”
Adrian sighed, but Cassius could plainly see that he was pleased with himself. “Don’t be such an airhead.”
“That’s not an answer.”
Adrian rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool. Cassius wasn’t at all fooled for one second. “Well, I guess. But only because you decided to tell Sam.”
Cassius was beaming, snaking both of his arms around Adrian’s waist as he leaned and kissed his neck, his aversion to public displays of affection be damned. “I love you. I do. You know I do.”
“Yes, I know,” he said, smiling as he let himself be kissed. “Now don’t get all soft on me, Cass. This doesn’t change anything.”
“I know,” Cassius promised, pulling back at last to look over his boyfriend. “It just means I'm officially off the market. That's all.”
Adrian chuckled and considered reminding him that he’d been off the market since the previous June but decided not to, slinging an arm around his waist instead as they walked through the peaceful streets and back toward the hotel. “Don't let it go to your head, Cass. I know I’m a catch.”
“Uh-huh. Now, I expect your Facebook relationship status to be updated by tomorrow morning.”
Adrian laughed out loud and gave Cassius a tight squeeze. “You first.”
Cassius laughed too, and they walked back to the hotel side by side, enjoying the heat of each other’s presence. Above them, the half-moon shone bright, like a sliver of diamond in the expansive black of the night.
Chapter 13
Worried
There was something about his conversation with Cassius which had left Sam feeling unsettled. He couldn’t quite identify what it was, other than naturally being uneasy with anyone knowing their secret. He could get over it, probably, given enough time, so it wasn’t that.
It was Cassius’s choice of confidantes which troubled him. It was Adrian himself. Sam didn’t know him, had hardly spent any time with him, and by extension, he didn’t fully trust him. He wasn’t quite sure how he and Cassius had become close, right under his nose too. Of course, he didn’t care to know the details of Cassius’ sex life, but he’d expected a hint or something at least. They were friends, weren’t they? And what’s more, they were bound by a curse. That ought to count for something.
Sam was mulling it all over in his head, pulling off his shoes sitting on the hotel bed when Drew breezed in.
“Hey!” Drew called, breathless and laughing a little.
Sam looked up, giving a curt nod. “Hey.” He wasn’t going to ask where Drew had been. He knew full well he’d get the story in due time.
“You just missed the funniest shit,” Drew grinned, kicking his shoes off carelessly as he flopped down beside Sam, stretching like a cat across the mattress.
“Oh?” Sam asked, quirking a brow at his lover.
“Oh yeah,” Drew said, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “So, I was in the elevator with Ian and Simon, and we’re a couple floors away when the elevator stops. And guess who walks in.”
“I don’t know.”
“Guess.”
Sam shrugged. “The Dalai Lama.”
“No. Even better.”
“Michael Jackson, back from the dead?”
“No.” Drew bit his lip to quit from laughing. Sam shook his head, giving up. “Harris.” Sam’s face fell.
“Harris isn’t better than Michael Jackson or the Dalai Lama.”
“For the purposes of this story he is,” Drew said defiantly, forcing a straight face. “Okay, so Harris is standing there in his tiny, tight swim trunks which leave nothing to the imagination, and he just stands there for a few seconds, and then he gets in the elevator. And first he looks at me, and then he looks at Ian. And then Ian very pointedly does not look at Simon. He just pushes the button for the pool deck, crosses his arms, and do
esn’t say anything while Simon stands there just gaping at him, and very, very clearly checking him out.”
“I don’t see how this is a funny story, Drew.”
“Just wait, it gets insane.” Drew waved a hand animatedly, then reached to tug Sam down closer beside him. Sam happily complied, settling against his chest. “So, we’re all standing there, awkward as fuck, Ian and I are just looking back and forth between the other two, going like, what the hell game are these two playing, you know? It’s not like we all didn’t see the eye-sex happening at dinner, you know? Either those two are fucking or they are about to, right? You’ve seen it, babe, I know you have.”
Sam rolled his eyes, but the slight smirk on his lips was enough to confirm Drew’s suspicions.
“Right, so we’re all standing there and finally Ian, the fucking saint that he is, decides to speak. And do you know what he said?”
“No,” Sam sighed. “And I’m not guessing either. Just tell me.”
Drew snorted, taking hold of Sam’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “He says, ‘Simon, remind me again what you were just saying about Fabian’s ass. Something about…freckles.’ And we all stare at him. And stare. And stare. For a good five or six seconds we’re just standing there in total silence.”
Sam’s eyes went wide in both horror and amusement, unsure whether to laugh or cringe or both. “Oh my god.”
“Yeah.” Drew nodded, grinning like a fiend. “And Harris turned red. And Simon turned red. And Ian, that bastard, he just stood there looking innocent as a baby. And I couldn’t take it anymore after that, I was on the fucking floor. And the other two were both screaming at Ian. Just yelling at him like he’d blown their cover or some shit. And he just stood there, like he’d just had the sweetest taste of revenge. And when the elevator stopped at our floor, he literally dragged Simon out of there by his ear and left Harris standing there like an idiot. I swear to god, babe, I haven’t laughed that hard in months. I cried. I literally cried.”
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