It was another moment of confused loyalties, and Katelina was relieved when Jorick sent her to the living room on her own. The relief was short lived. The Christmas tree was still up, the gleaming ornaments and twinkling tinsel a mocking memory.
Saeed’s new book lay on the couch. She picked it up, surprised to find that it was an inspirational self-help book, full of directions on how to “free the soul” and “achieve inner harmony”. Though inner harmony was something that seemed far away, she tried to lose herself in the pages.
It was well over an hour later when Loren appeared. He wiped his hands on his hoodie and Katelina could see dirt under his fingernails. “Hey, we’re getting ready to have a funeral for Kale in the backyard.”
“A vampire funeral?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
She scrambled for something to say. “Um...I’ve just never seen one. Usually you guys just set them on fire.”
He shrugged. “That’s what they’re planning to do. I just spent half an hour digging pine needles out of the snow.”
Micah appeared. “Like you did it alone.” He turned to Katelina with an air of superiority. “If you weren’t all injured and useless you coulda helped set shit up.”
She scowled and tried to think of a suitable retort. Before she could, Jorick showed up and announced that they were ready.
It took great effort to slide into her coat and pull her hat on her head. Bundled up, she followed Jorick outside into the cold, clear night. A circle of snow had been cleared away in the backyard. In the center of it was a pile of wood that had been heaped with some semblance of precision. Around it, in a ring, stood most of the vampires. They were clean and changed. Though Luna leaned on Fabian, still the worse for wear, the rest looked restored with only a handful of superficial injuries.
Jorick led Katelina around the circle to an empty space. Oren and Yaul joined the circle carrying a bright red gas can and several long sticks with rags wrapped at the ends. Torches. Oren left the gas can with Yaul and his brother, then moved to Jorick’s side. “We’re doing it the traditional way. They were part of Claudius’ coven, after all.”
Jorick nodded. “He always liked the dramatic.”
The atmosphere suddenly tensed. Katelina followed Oren and Jorick’s gaze to the house. The back door banged open, too loud in the suddenly still night.
Saeed walked slowly across the porch. In his arms he carried a red wrapped bundle - Kale's body. His face was set and grim, but lifted high as though he’d been given a great honor. Behind him came Rachel, leaning heavily on Joseff’s arm. She hadn’t changed or bathed, and her tears cut tracks through the grime on her face.
Something sick fluttered in Katelina’s chest as the miniature procession drew towards the circle. Jorick caught her good hand and squeezed it gently.
Saeed walked to the center of the circle and laid his burden on the pile of wood. He stepped back and waited while Joseff took two of the torches from Yaul and led Rachel to her place in the circle. Katelina tried to catch her eyes and communicate her sympathy, but Rachel’s attention was on the ground.
With everyone in their place, Saeed lifted his face to the sky and sang out a stream of foreign words. His deep voice rang off the trees and filled the night with a mournful cry.
The song-like prayer ended, and the dark cloak of winter silence dropped, heavy and oppressive. Yaul flipped a cigarette lighter to life and touched the flame to a torch. It blazed to life.
Alex and Saeed each took a turn lighting their torches from Yaul’s. Joseff lit both his and Rachel’s, then returned to her. He took her hand and forced the torch into her fingers. She lifted her eyes and stared at it dully, as if she didn’t understand or else didn’t want to see it.
Joseff led her to the center of the circle. The closer they got, the louder Katelina’s heart pounded. She didn’t want to see this.
The pair came to a stop before the pile of wood. Joseff prodded Rachel gently, but she stayed silent and rigid. Finally, he shouted, “Kale, you will be avenged!” He grabbed Rachel’s arm and forced her torch through the wood. It took a moment, and then something whooshed; probably Loren’s pine needles. Rachel stared at the flames. With a shuddering sob, she dropped the torch into the pile. She sank to the ground and buried her face in her hands. Katelina wanted to move to her, but uncertainty held her back. What would she say?
With a wild, wordless cry, Joseff thrust his torch into the midst of the blossoming bonfire, then stepped back. He watched with burning eyes as Saeed, Alex, and finally Yaul took turns jabbing their torches into the pile. The flames grew slowly, creeping closer to the red wrapped bundle in the center.
Yaul picked up the gas can and doused the body and wood. The flames roared and tripled in height; orange tongues that licked the sky. Thick smoke, white against the night, curled upwards. The column slowly thickened as Kale’s body caught fire.
The smell of burning flesh filled Katelina’s nose and she choked and turned away. Tears filled her eyes. In her head she could hear Rachel’s chatter as they’d done the shopping, “He’s so kind and so gentle. I think I loved him the moment I first saw him…” Those wistful words seemed a world away.
Jorick’s arm tightened around her and he pulled her into him. He rested his face against the top of her head. “It’s all right.”
Katelina pulled away from him. “No it isn’t! This is all wrong!” And it was. It should be someone else there, someone that didn’t matter, some vampire that wasn’t loved.
“Everyone is loved by someone. Even Thomas. Do you think his sister isn’t worried about him?”
She started to argue, when a vision swam behind her eyes. She could see herself killing Kateesha and feel the heartbreak; Alistair’s heartbreak. Even Kateesha, the vilest, evilest bitch she’d ever encountered, had been loved by someone. The idea that even the bad guys had someone who cared about them was just too much.
“No one is completely evil,” Jorick said in answer to her thoughts. “I’ve tried to tell you that before.”
Her revelation was interrupted by Saeed’s deep, smooth voice. He stood before the fire, chanting sing-song words in that same foreign language. The song seemed to reverberate inside Katelina’s chest and, for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. She looked past him to where Rachel knelt alone. She’d never been good with grief, whether her own or another’s. She always ran away and left someone else to deal with it. For some reason, she felt she needed to do something this time.
She drew away from Jorick and moved to the redhead’s side. She knelt next to her. The cold snow melted through the knees of her jeans. She tentatively touched Rachel’s shoulder. As if that simple action had opened the flood gates, Rachel’s tears turned to deep, wracking sobs. Katelina froze, suddenly unsure, but Rachel turned to her. The hurt on her face made Katelina’s heart break and she reached out to her.
Rachel fell into her arms. Her body shook from the power of her pain. Tears of sympathy leaked from Katelina’s eyes and left hot trails down her cold face. Instinctively, she rocked Rachel and murmured all of the stupid useless words that people said to one another in times of trial; all the mumblings that meant nothing. She suddenly realized that though the words were meaningless, the fact that someone cared enough to say them was what mattered.
“He’s dead,” Rachel choked out. “Oh God, he’s dead!”
“Shhhh,” Katelina murmured as the foul smelling fire popped and sent up a shower of sparks. “It’s all right.”
“No, it isn’t!” Rachel drew away and held up her bloody hands. She stared at them in horror. “It’s his blood. His blood! It’s everywhere! It’s everywhere!” She broke into shaking sobs again and would have fallen on her face if Katelina hadn’t caught her. “How am I supposed to live without him? What am I supposed to do? It was only all right because he was here! He was the only thing that made all of this okay! I don’t want to live without him! I don’t!”
Katelina’s insides echoed every o
ne of Rachel’s words. She knew them by heart because she’d felt them before, not so long ago, in the throne room of Kateesha’s stronghold when she’d thought Jorick was dead. That horrible dizzying emptiness that sucks at you until there’s nothing left inside but raw agony.
Saeed’s song ended. The other vampires stepped forward and each said a few words, though Katelina didn’t hear them over Rachel’s cries. When they were done, they drew back towards the house, except for Jorick and Joseff. The latter dropped into the snow and gently took Rachel’s shoulders. He pulled her away from Katelina. “Come, it will be dawn soon.”
Rachel shook her head fiercely. “Promise me Thomas will die.”
“Yes,” Joseff said softly. “We’ll kill him, together.”
“No,” Rachel whispered. “Without Kale… Just promise me!” She turned to him with desperate, pleading eyes.
Joseff swallowed hard. His face twisted and his hands tightened on her thin shoulders. “I promise. Now come inside.”
Rachel sagged with relief. “Leave me. Katelina can help me when I’m ready.”
Joseff growled low in his throat. “The sun will come soon, Rachel. Now is not the time to trust the human.”
Rachel’s face hardened and her spine straightened. “Can’t you ever do one God damn thing you’re asked to do? Why do you always have to argue and complain? If you’d only gone with him that night, like I asked, but you wouldn’t! And they took him to that institute, because he was alone, and now look! Look at all that’s happened! For the love of God, just leave me!”
Joseff flinched away as if she’d slapped him. “Fine, Rachel. Do as you please.” He jerked to his feet. “You can seek me out when your bitterness has left you!”
Katelina met Jorick’s eyes as Joseff stormed away. “I’m going inside.” His voice was carefully neutral but worry and reluctant alarm flickered across his face.
She nodded, unsettled by his expression. He reached out for her, hesitated and then laid his hand on her head. “I’ll wait up for you. I love you. I wish I could spare you from all the pain in the world, but we all make our own choices.” Then he turned and walked briskly towards the house before she could ask what he meant.
Rachel sagged back into the snow. Her eyes skipped past the glowing fire and went straight to the sky overhead. Katelina stared at her hands. She couldn’t find words important enough to break the heavy silence and, as the minutes ticked by, it got harder and harder.
Her wrist ached and her jeans were wet. The fire burned smaller, more wood smoke than anything else. The smell was strangely comforting; like Halloween and Christmas together. The air around them thickened, heralding the approaching dawn. Birds started to sing in the distance and Katelina finally cleared her throat. “It’s almost morning. We’d better go in.”
Rachel nodded, her attention still on the stars overhead. Something shifted in her eyes. “It was a night like this the first time he told me he loved me.” She took a shuddering breath, but a strange smile crept over her lips. “It was at least a month after that stupid ball.” She wiped her eyes with a dirty hand and Katelina nodded helplessly.
“We went for a walk, and I lamented the absence of the flowers. He said he didn’t need them because I was as pretty as a flower myself. Oh, how he could flatter a person.” The strange smile grew. “Of course, I told him he was either a fool, a madman, or both. He just looked right into my eyes and said, ‘No, I’m in love’. I was too shocked and stupid to understand, and all I could do was stare at him like he’d dropped out of the sky, so he said ‘I love you, Rachel, and I’m going to ask Thomas if you can leave’.” She shook her head. “It just broke my heart when Thomas refused. After that, he kept me locked up and wouldn’t let Kale near me.”
The birds’ song grew louder and Katelina thought she could see the stars disappearing one by one, though Rachel went on.
“And then they came. It was nearly summer, and it was hot as Hades down in that root cellar. I’d given up trying to get out by then. Everyone figured Kale’d lost interest, so there was only one guard. Kale killed him, and then he tore the doors right off the hinges and came charging down those stairs like a furious, avenging angel, Joseff right behind him.” She sighed sadly. “I am sorry for hurting Joseff like that. It was a mean thing to do, but he wouldn’t go away. You will tell him I’m sorry?”
A sick feeling started in Katelina’s stomach. “I’m sure he’ll talk to you. He obviously cares about you.”
“Oh, of course he does, or he thinks he does because Kale did. That’s the way they were: what Kale had, Joseff wanted. But don’t think badly of him for it. He loved that man like his own brother.” Tears choked her for a moment but she plunged on. “He couldn’t help himself. He came from such a bad life. His mother was an Indian - Native American they say now - and his father was a trapper and back then people were cruel to what they called ‘half breeds’. It shouldn’t matter who your parents are or what color your skin is, but there you go. It always has and it always will to somebody. I just wish Joseff could come to terms with himself the way Saeed has. He and his brother were slaves, taken all the way from Africa. They fell under a vampire’s ownership and that’s how they got turned. I hear tell they murdered their Master shortly afterwards, but I don’t know for sure.”
The sky continued to lighten and the stars dropped away, leaving the expanse above them a blank slate waiting to be written on. The air changed and the breeze carried the scent of dawn. Panic knotted in Katelina’s stomach. “Rachel, the sun. We should go in.”
The redhead gazed at the fire. “Oh, honey, I ain’t going in.”
The cold panic spread as the words filtered through. “But the sun…It’ll…You’ll be…”
Rachel nodded. “I know it might be cruel to ask you to stay with me, but no one else can and I…I don’t wanna be alone. It’s kinda scary, and I thought if I had someone else here…” she trailed off and looked at Katelina’s horror stricken face. “Now don’t look like that!” She patted Katelina’s hand. “It’s going to be just fine. Just a little while and I’ll get to see the sun rise. Lordy, do you know how long it’s been since I saw that? I hope it’s a pretty one. I’d like to see a pretty one.”
Katelina forced herself to her feet. “Come on,” she pleaded. “Let’s go inside and you’ll feel better.”
Rachel pulled her back down to the snow. “No, I won’t. I’m never gonna feel better again, and we both know it.” She leveled her gaze with Katelina’s, violet eyes staring into blue. “Would you want to look at eternity without Jorick? Knowing that every day you’ll wake up and be alone? That you’ll never hear his laugh again or see his smile or even hear him yell. Lord, what I wouldn’t give just to hear him yell at me right now.” She fought a wave of misery. “I don’t wanna go on like this without him. I made my mind up on that point a long, long time ago. When Thomas turned me, I was so full of despair and misery. I hated him. I hated me. Then Kale came, and he made it all okay. Everything was all right, so long as he was here. But it won’t be all right anymore.” She swallowed hard.
“That night, after he took me back to Claudius’ den, he told me something. He said ‘We’ll always be together, no matter what. Nothing’s going to keep you away from me ever again’. And I promised him that, too. Don’t you see?” Her eyes turned urgent. “This death is doing just that. He’s there, and I’m still here. And since I can’t bring him back to life, then I guess I have to die to be with him.” She grabbed Katelina’s good hand and squeezed it so tight that it hurt. “Just stay with me, please? I know it’s weak, but I don’t wanna be alone. Poor Kale, he already had to go alone.”
She broke off into sobs. Katelina struggled to find words that would stop this from happening. What would she do if this were the other way around? What if Jorick had died and she was left as an immortal with a broken heart? To know that the echoing ages lay ahead; dark, sunless night after dark sunless night, each one as empty and devoid of happiness as the one before…
There was nothing she could do. Even if she ran in the house and told Joseff, Rachel would just do it later. Jorick had once said of Oren that he couldn’t keep him alive by sheer will power, and he was right. Each person held their own life in their hands, and you couldn’t make them keep it if they wanted to be rid of it.
Tears dripped down her face, but she nodded. Rachel smiled and squeezed her hand. “Thanks, honey. You don’t know what it means to me.”
She turned her face to the east, where a pale band of light began. The light grew. With every second that ticked past, Katelina grew sicker inside.
The sky glowed in a thousand shimmering colors. Red, gold, and purple ran together like a watercolor painting. Rachel lifted her face and breathed in the peace that morning brought with it. “That’s beautiful isn’t it?”
Katelina managed to choke out a simple “Yes.”
“I’m so glad. I wish Kale could have seen it, but I guess he probably can now, can’t he?”
Katelina nodded, trying to fight back her natural desire. She wanted to run inside and get Jorick and make him fix this. Even now, after she’d agreed, she was still trying to think of a way to save them both. But there was no way.
The very rim of the sun popped up, visible above the trees as a glowing ball of red fire. Rachel stifled a cry and instinctively lifted a hand to shade her face. She quickly dropped it and climbed to her feet, as if trying to meet the sun on equal terms. “It’s gonna be all right. It’s all gonna be okay.”
The sun climbed, agonizingly slow. Rachel cried out as her skin began to smoke and Katelina instinctively threw herself back into the snow, her injured arm held out in front of her as though to block reality out. Rachel swallowed down her pain and gave a strange, soft laugh. Then she turned her blistering face to Katelina. “Thank you.” Before Katelina could think of a reply, she turned back towards the glowing orb.
Amaranthine Special Edition Vol II Page 43
