by Dale Mayer
“But there was something else about Jimmy you really liked,” he said quietly. “That you needed at that point in your life.”
“And what was that?” She frowned up at him. Not upset, but curious. Good.
“He was safe. He didn’t have a dangerous job. He was a records clerk. He didn’t do any heavy sports. He looked like a family man. He left the house, went to work every day, came home and watched TV most nights.” He tilted her chin up. “Right?”
It took her a moment then she gave a short jerky nod.
“So think about this.” He gently rubbed his thumb against her bottom lip. “When you lost the baby you were hurt, and you ran. You went through a series of relationships looking for a place to call home. In Jimmy you found that. He could give you the babies you wanted. In your mind you had a safe place to hide out and not have to deal with the rest of the world anymore. A world that had hurt you, where you now felt insecure and unstable. Jimmy gave you a safe, stable home.”
“That makes me sound foolish,” she protested.
“But you weren’t thinking rationally, likely you weren’t thinking at all. You were reacting. To the pain. The loss. All the hurt you’d stuffed inside.”
She raised her gaze to his. “Don’t you resent the children?”
“Of course not,” he exclaimed. “Why would I do that?” Just the thought of feeling that way was so alien to him he could hardly believe she’d asked.
She frowned and dropped her gaze to the floor. “Jimmy did.”
If Jimmy were standing in front of him right now he’d probably knock him down then wait till he stood up and knock him down again. How could he have made this beautiful woman feel so insecure and believe her children were so unlovable? Then as he thought about it he wondered if he’d been the same because when she’d been hurt she’d run. Instead of coming to him for comfort or reassurance she’d taken off in the opposite direction.
He took a deep breath reminding himself that had been then and this was now. They’d both changed, matured.
“That was Jimmy’s problem. Remember, we don’t carry his problems forward. They need to stay buried with him.”
“I’m not the same person I was when I went to Jimmy,” she replied quietly. “I did a lot of soul-searching after he died. That’s not the same dream I want now.”
He tilted her head and studied her. “And what dream do you want now?”
She opened her mouth to answer.
He leaned in to hear but gunfire rippled across the front of the house, bullets spraying the living room, sending them screaming to the floor. As the smoke and dust settled, Brett heard a vehicle racing away. He grabbed his phone and contacted Mason.
“The children,” Ceci cried, crawling toward the two on the floor crying.
Brett rushed to the kids and found no blood. They were scared, but unhurt. He snagged them up. “Take the children to the bedroom and stay there. I’ll be right back.”
And he bolted outside.
Chapter 22
Huddled together on the unmade bed from her romp with Brett, Ceci hugged the children tight. Both buried their heads against her chest, their bodies trembling in fear.
This had to stop. The kids were going to be traumatized for life. She expected to hear chaos outside, sounds of people running around trying to figure out what happened. Not this time apparently.
She looked around her small home. There was no way she wanted to stay here. Now the living room was covered in glass and wasn’t habitable considering she had little children. Then there was the fact that someone was trying to kill her, and they knew where she lived.
It was one thing to pack up when she was in the embassy but now… She shook her head. This was a full on move. Not something she could do quickly. She had family to call on for help but was loathe to do so. The extended family to call if need be, but that wasn’t her style – at least it hadn’t been.
She’d been happy with her foster family, but she’d let that connection fall away too. She glanced down at her children, realizing how little she’d actually contacted them over the years. Something else she needed to change.
She looked back on her history, her patterns and fears, realizing that as much as she didn’t want to admit it she had been hiding. Since forever. Her foster parents had brought up a discussion about adopting her. She’d been seventeen at the time. It was almost too late to be adopted by then. More than that it had seemed like a betrayal of her own mother. She’d gone into hurt mode.
She’d moved out soon after. She’d contacted her foster family in the beginning but had already started to distance herself before she’d left. Why? They’d made her an incredibly generous and loving offer but instead of accepting she’d pulled away. When she’d lost the baby she should’ve known Brett would be there for her. He’d never let her down before. But she’d been hurting and she pulled away. And again, why?
Because like any injured animal she’d gone into hiding to heal. She hadn’t run as much as hidden.
When Jimmy died, she hadn’t been able to hide the same way because she had the children to look after. They’d been her rock. She’d had to be strong for them. She was all they had. They were all she had. And as she studied their sweet faces, she realized that if something happened to her, she’d want someone to adopt her children.
The last thing she wanted was for them to feel alone and unloved – like she had. As she thought about it longer, she realized it was as if she felt she hadn’t deserved their love. That she’d been to blame in a stupid way for her mother leaving her. More than that was the fear she was going to lose anyone else she loved, so better not to love. It was the only way not to get hurt. But such truths were harsh.
And didn’t change the fact she had a pattern, and it wasn’t one she particularly liked to look at. Time to change it. She gently stroked Jimmy’s hair back off his face. “Time to get your hair cut again, buddy.”
He sniffled and laid his head against her chest. “Don’t wanna.”
She smiled at his return to baby talk. “Still needs to be done,” she said cheerfully. “But maybe not today or tomorrow. How about next week.”
Holding the children safe in her arms she snuggled deeper into the bed and whispered, “I think it’s time for all of us to have a nap.”
“You too, Mommy?”
She closed her eyes and snuggled down close to Jimmy. She wouldn’t sleep – but for the chance to hold her babies after such a close call – oh hell yes, she’d take it. “Yes, me too.”
*
Brett slipped back into the house. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling the drive-by might’ve been a way to get everyone out of the house. The last thing he wanted to do was allow another intruder inside. He’d felt pretty stupid this morning.
So far it didn’t appear Ceci was blaming him, but he blamed himself. He didn’t know what he’d do if anything happened to his family.
He damn near froze. His family? With that thought moving around in his head for a couple of twists and turns, he smiled. Yes, they were his family. This wasn’t about her children from a previous marriage. This was about Ceci and her children being his. And he’d be damned if he’d let anybody hurt them.
She lived in a nice little residential area. The cops were already on their way so that was going to be yet another mess, but it was necessary.
Still, the children didn’t need to be here for this. It’d be better he got them to his house. The place he’d bought after his breakup with her – as if sensing he’d lost more than he knew with Ceci and had bought a family home and lived in it alone, waiting for her…
He could congratulate himself now because it was a perfect place to bring a family. He was also jumping the gun because he had no idea if she was interested in moving in or not. It was one thing to have a relationship, but it was another thing entirely for her to accept him as a father for her children.
First they had to put this behind them.
He could hear noise
s in the master bedroom. At the doorway he stared, a smile curving his lips. They were asleep. All three of them. And interestingly enough she’d curled into the spot where he’d slept. As if she already knew she’d be safe in his arms.
Chapter 23
She opened her eyes to the afternoon sun. Who knew she’d fall asleep? With both children still tucked up against her she smiled and kissed each on the top of the head. She slipped out from under the covers and walked into the living room, stopping at the devastation in front of her. Through the big open space where the window used to be she saw people in the front yard. She froze when she saw the cops, then relaxed.
Of course there were going to be cops. There’d been a drive-by shooting. As far as they were concerned this was their case.
But she really did not want to answer any more questions.
From where she stood she could see Brett at the corner of the garage. Beside him stood Swede and Mason. There was a heated discussion going on that she didn’t want to get involved in. But it was her house, her family, and she could no more walk away from this than she could from anything else. At her own wording she wanted to laugh, because of course, she had walked away – from almost everything. But she wasn’t that person anymore… She’d do anything to keep her family safe.
She stepped out of the side door and walked toward Brett. He frowned but immediately held out a hand. She slipped her fingers in and locked them with his as she faced the police.
“When can we leave?” she asked the policeman.
He glanced at her and said, “Were you inside when the shooting happened?”
“I was with Brett and my children were playing in the living room.”
“Anyone hurt?”
She shook her head. “Not physically.”
He nodded in understanding. “We’ll need to get a statement from you, and then it would be best if you did leave the house so we can go through and do what needs to be done.”
“I’ll pack now.”
She dropped Brett’s hand or at least tried to but he wouldn’t let her go.
He tucked her closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “If one of you wants to come into the kitchen we can give our statements there, and then leave with the children.”
The young officer who’d been asking questions nodded. “I’ll come in.”
“I’ll come too,” said a second cop as he came around from the back of the house.
All in all, she’d been outside five, ten minutes, maybe fifteen at the most.
But when she walked back inside she knew something had shifted. There was a malevolence to the air.
Ice filled her veins. Dear God, no. She bolted from the doorway to the master bedroom and froze. Both children were missing.
She spun around and raced through the house screaming, “Jimmy, where are you?”
She raced back to Mason. “They’re gone.” Tears of terror filled her eyes. “I just woke up from the bed, snuck outside and spoke with you guys so they can’t have gone far.”
Already she could see the front yard was empty as everybody raced to find the children.
She ran out to the backyard and studied the small fence. It wasn’t intended to keep anything in and it sure as hell wasn’t going to keep any intruder out. It was only now she realized how unsafe the house really was.
None of it mattered.
Her children were gone. She started to shake. She couldn’t figure out if it was anger or fear, but underneath it all was a hatred she’d never felt before.
Brett snapped, “Stay here with the police.” And he vaulted over the back fence into the neighbor’s yard.
She could hear vehicles on the street. No way to know who the drivers were. The children couldn’t be gone. There’d been no time.
She could hardly move.
She was so frozen inside.
The cops she’d been with had stayed inside, searching her house.
Alone she paced the open garage. In her head she could hear them crying, calling out for her. Her heart wrenched with every cry.
She stopped because damn it, she swore she could hear them. She spun around and stared at her small house. She bolted back inside and stood in the living room, spinning in a circle as she tried to sort out the sound in her head. She knew her heart and mind were screaming at her to do something, but was she hearing the children or was that a mother’s imagination?
One of the officers asked, “What’s the matter?”
“I can hear them.” At the look of pity on his face, she cried out, “I can. I can hear them.”
And she bolted for the master bedroom again. Just as she reached the doorway she heard an odd sound. One she recognized. Her feet refused to move, dread clutching at her heart. Her mind screamed at her to run, instead she turned. And watched as the younger of the two cops slowly fell to his knees and collapsed face down on the ground.
She raised her shocked gaze to the second cop who held a gun pointed straight at her.
A fury she hadn’t known existed inside came to life. Aware for the first time she could kill a man and never think twice. She stared at the man responsible for her missing children. “What did you do to my children?”
He laughed. “You can still hear them crying,” he mocked. “It doesn’t matter if you hear them crying anymore or not. They might get a chance to live. You, however, will not.” He raised his gun and pulled the trigger.
*
Brett jump back over of the low fence wishing he could see the children in front of him. So far no luck anywhere. They’d managed to stop two cars on the road they had suspected of being involved, but it was just kids with new vehicles showing off. They knew nothing about the kidnapping.
He bolted back to the side of the house but she wasn’t there. That’s when he heard a sound that made his blood run cold.
Gunfire.
He crept around to the open kitchen door and slipped inside. He had his handgun in his hand. Since he’d arrived back on US soil he’d never been without it. Not that Ceci knew. It would’ve been just a reminder of everything she’d been through. From where he stood he could see Ceci on her knees. Her hand on her chest, blood blossoming over her shoulder.
The gunman laughed.
“Stupid bitch. It wasn’t even worth making the trip over here for you. And instead of you dying, my beautiful Lena is dead. It’s your fucking fault.”
He raised his gun.
Brett raced forward. When Ceci saw him she sent him the sweetest smile.
Shit. He lined up a shot and fired.
The gunman dropped, rolled, shot wild and came up behind Ceci. The gun to her head.
“Drop it,” he snarled.
“No,” Ceci snarled. “Shoot the little bastard.” The gunman wrenched her head back, making her cry out in pain.
The killer needed to lower his hand just enough that Brett’s bullet would take him out and not have his trigger finger fire off a shot that would kill Ceci.
That he couldn’t afford to have happen.
“Let her go,” he ordered.
“No fucking way.”
Brett knew this bastard was going down. The guy knew it too, and was going to make sure he took Ceci with him.
What happened next took place so fast, his eyes didn’t believe it.
Ceci lurched up, a long piece of glass in her hand, and she stabbed the gunman in the throat.
Brett raced in and kicked the gun out of the man’s hand as he gurgled his last breath. In his eyes, there was only hate.
For Ceci. For Brett. For the whole damn world.
Then he couldn’t see anything as death took him under.
“Good riddance,” Brett murmured. He turned to Ceci as Swede and the others poured into the room. He ignored them.
Ceci stood, wavering on her feet. Blood in her eyes, more dripping from her palm where the glass had cut in deep – and then there was her injured shoulder.
“Sweetheart, he’s gone. You did it. You killed him.”
She lifted her head to his, her gaze huge as she struggled with the shock of her actions. “I should feel bad,” she whispered. “I killed a man. In cold blood. But I don’t,” she said, her voice dazed. “I don’t. All I can feel is…relief.”
He holstered his gun and reached out gently, grabbing her wrist and slowly, carefully, opening her fingers. “Let this go. Just drop it.”
Her gaze fell on the weapon she still held in her hand. With a shudder, she opened her fingers, letting the weapon drop to the wooden floor.
She turned to the men crowding in behind them. In an unnaturally calm voice, she said, “There’s an injured cop in the master bedroom, help him please.”
Several men raced back.
With a heavy sigh, she looked up at Swede and said, “I can hear the children. They are in here somewhere. Please tear this place apart and find them.”
With her hand reaching out weakly for Brett, she whispered, “Look after them for me. I really do love you.”
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed into his arms.
Chapter 24
Everything hurt. Why? She rolled over and felt her stomach start to heave.
“Take it easy. You’re just waking up from surgery. Your stomach might be a little upset. If you’re in a lot of pain, we can give you something to help you go under again.”
Surgery? What the hell happened to her? As she lay back at the nurse’s insistence she tried to make sense of what was going on, but her mind was full of the greasy waves of nausea making her want to puke. She shuddered, then a warm blanket was wrapped up around her shoulders and neck. She moaned as the warmth seeped into her bones. Her eyelids drifted closed.
“Just rest. Your body needs to heal. Sleep.”
Instead, she opened her eyes to stare up at the blurry features in front of her, trying to make sense of her world. Memories flooded through her psyche and she shuddered as remembered panic hit. In a voice that was more cracked and broken than audible, she asked, “What about my children?” She coughed. “Are they okay?”
