Colin had replayed that moment in his mind several times since the engagement party and now he knew exactly what he wanted to say.
“Your place or mine?”
* * *
It turned out to be his place, which was closer. Natalie’s heart was pounding as she followed Colin down the hallway and into his kitchen. She’d only been here once before, the night of the engagement party. The house looked quite different tonight. There were no huge catering platters, no skirted tables, no jazz trio. It was just the wide open, modern space he called home. It actually looked a little plain without everything else. Spartan. Like a model home.
She couldn’t help but notice the sharp contrast between it and the warm, welcoming feel of his parents’ house. It was about as far as you could get between them. Natalie had no doubt that this was a million-dollar house, but it was far too contemporary in style to suit her.
“May I offer you more wine?” he asked.
“No, thank you,” she said, putting her purse down on the white quartz countertop. “I had plenty at dinner.” And she had. She was stuffed. Natalie had focused on her food to avoid Colin’s heated appraisal and now she regretted it. If she’d fully realized that her fantasies would actually play out after dinner, she would’ve held back a touch. She didn’t exactly feel sexy, full to the gills with pasta, bread and wine.
“May I offer you a tour, then? I’m not sure how much you got to see of the place the other night.”
“Not much,” Natalie admitted. Since she’d only known the bride and her brother, she hadn’t done much socializing. She’d hovered near the bar, people watching most of the evening.
Colin led her out of the sleek kitchen and through the dining room to the two-story open living room with a dramatic marble fireplace that went up to the ceiling. She followed him up the stairs to his loft office, then his bedroom. “This is the best part,” he said.
“I bet,” Natalie replied with a grin.
“That’s not what I meant.” He walked past the large bed to a set of French doors. He opened them and stepped out onto a deck.
Natalie went out behind him and stopped short as she caught a glimpse of the view. They’d driven up a fairly steep hill to get here, she remembered that, but she hadn’t realized his house virtually clung to the side of the mountain. While precarious, it offered an amazing view of the city. The lights stretched out as far as the eye could see, competing with the stars that twinkled overhead.
She had a really nice townhouse she liked, but it couldn’t hold a candle to this. She could sit out here all night just looking up at the stars and sipping her coffee. Natalie bet it was amazing at sunrise, too.
“So, what do you think?”
Natalie hesitated, trying to find the right words. She turned to Colin, who was leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. “The deck is amazing.”
“What about the rest of the house?”
“It’s very nice.”
“Nice, huh? You don’t like it at all.”
Natalie avoided the question by stepping back into the bedroom with him on her heels. “It’s a beautiful home, really. The view alone is worth the price you paid for it. The aesthetic is just a little modern for my taste.”
Colin nodded. “Me, too. To be honest, Pam picked this place. If I hadn’t been so mad about Shane, I probably would’ve let her keep it.”
Natalie stiffened at the mention of his ex-wife and the son who’d turned out not to be his. She still wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, but prying seemed rude. Since he brought it up... “Does she ever let you see Shane?”
Colin shook his head once, kind of curt. “No. I think it’s better that way though since he’s still a baby. If he’d been any older, it would’ve been harder to help him understand where his daddy was. He’s probably forgotten who I am by now.”
“I don’t know about that,” Natalie said, stepping toward him until they were nearly touching. “I know I’ve never been able to forget about you.”
“Is that right?” Colin asked, wrapping his arms around her waist. The pain had faded from his face, replaced only with the light of attraction. “So, did you fantasize about what it would be like to kiss me?”
Natalie smiled. How many nights had she hugged her pillow to her chest and pretended it was Lily’s handsome older brother? “An embarrassing number of times,” she admitted.
“Did our first kiss live up to those expectations?”
“It did, and then some. Of course, when I was fifteen, I didn’t know what was really possible like I do now.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes. And now I want more.”
Colin didn’t hesitate to meet her demand. His mouth met hers, offering her everything she wanted. She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging him closer. Natalie wasn’t letting him get away this time. He was all hers tonight. She arched her back, pressing her body against the hard wall of his chest.
He growled against her lips, his hand straying from her waist to glide along her back and hips. He cupped one cheek of her rear through the thin fabric of her skirt, pushing her hips against his until she could feel the firm heat of his desire.
Natalie gasped, pulling from his mouth. “Yeah,” she said in a breathy voice. “There’s no way I would’ve imagined a kiss like that.”
Pulling back, she reached for the collar of his jacket. She pushed his blazer off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Her palms moved greedily over his broad shoulders and down the front of his chest, touching every inch of the muscles she’d seen in that tight T-shirt. Starting at his collar, she unbuttoned his shirt, exposing the muscles and dark chest chair scattered across them.
Colin stood stiffly as she worked, his hands tightly curled into fists at his sides. When Natalie reached his belt, he sprang into action, grasping her wrists. “That’s not really fair, is it?”
“Well,” she reasoned, “I’ve been fantasizing about seeing you naked for years. I think it’s only right I shouldn’t have to wait any longer.”
Colin gathered the hem of her blouse and lifted it slowly over her head. Natalie raised her arms to help him take it off. He cast her shirt onto a nearby chair. “I don’t think a few more minutes will kill you.”
He focused on her breasts, taking in the sight before covering the satin-clad globes with the palms of his hands. Natalie gasped when he touched her, her nipples hardening and pressing into the restraining fabric. He kneaded her flesh, dipping his head down to taste what spilled over the top of the cups. Colin nipped at her skin, soothing it with the glide of his tongue. Tugging down at her bra, he uncovered her nipples, drawing one, then the next into his mouth.
Natalie groaned, pulling his head closer. The warmth of his mouth on her sensitive flesh built a liquid heat in her core. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take this kind of torture.
“I need you,” she gasped. “Please.”
In response, Colin sought out the back of her skirt with his fingers. He unzipped it, letting it slide down over her hips. She stepped out of the skirt and her heels, then let Colin guide her backward through the room until the backs of her legs met with the mattress. She reached behind her, crawling onto the bed.
While Colin watched, she unclasped her bra and tossed it aside, leaving nothing on but her panties. His eyes stayed glued to her as he unfastened his pants and slipped them off with his briefs. He pulled away long enough to retrieve a condom from the bedside stand before he climbed onto the bed.
The heat of his body skimmed over hers. He hovered there, kissing her as one hand roamed across her stomach. It brushed the edge of her panties, slipping beneath to dip his fingers between her thighs. Natalie arched off the bed, gasping before meeting his lips once more. He stroked her again and again, building a tension inside her that she was
desperate to release.
Colin waited until she was on the very edge, then he retreated, leaving her panting and dissatisfied. “Just a few more minutes,” he reassured her with a teasing grin.
He moved down her body, pulling the panties over her hips and along the length of her legs as he moved. Tossing them aside, he sheathed himself and pressed her thighs apart. He nestled between them and positioned himself perfectly to stroke her core as his hips moved forward and back. He rebuilt the fire in her belly, then, looking her in the eye, shifted his hips and thrust into her.
Natalie cried out, clawing at the blankets beneath her. He started slow, clenching his jaw with restraint, then began moving faster. She drew her legs up, wrapping them around his hips as they flexed, eliciting a low groan deep in Colin’s throat.
“Yes,” Natalie coaxed as he moved harder and faster inside her.
The release he’d teased at before quickly built up inside her again and this time, she knew she would get what she wanted. She gripped his back, feeling the knot tighten in her belly. “Please,” she said.
“As you wish.” He thrust hard, grinding his pelvis against her sensitive parts until she screamed out.
“Colin!” she shouted as the tiny fire bursts exploded inside her. Her release pulsated through her whole body, her muscles tightening around him as she shuddered and gasped.
Thrusting again, Colin buried his face in her neck and poured himself into her. “Oh, Natalie,” he groaned into her ear.
The sound of her name on his lips sent a shiver down her spine. She wrapped her arms around him as he collapsed against her. She gave him a few minutes to rest and recover before she pushed at his shoulders. “Come on,” she said.
“Come where?” He frowned.
“To the shower. You and I are just getting started. I’ve got fourteen years to make up for.”
Seven
Colin was making coffee downstairs the next morning when he heard the heavy footsteps of a sleepy Natalie coming down the stairs. He peeked around the corner in time to see her stumble onto the landing. She’d pulled her messy hair into a ponytail and was wearing her professional office attire, but it was rumpled and definitely looked like a day-two ensemble for her.
He watched as she hesitated at the bottom of the stairs. She looked around nervously, almost like she was searching for an exit route. Was she really trying to sneak out without him seeing her? Yes, there wasn’t anything serious between them, but she didn’t need to flee the scene of the crime. She started slinking toward the front door, but he wasn’t about to let her off so easily.
“Good morning, Natalie,” he shouted.
She stiffened at the sound of his voice, and then reluctantly turned and followed the noise toward the kitchen. “Good morning,” she said as she rounded the corner.
He loved seeing this unpolished version of her. With her wrinkled clothes, her mussed-up hair and day-old makeup, it was a far cry from the superprofessional and sleek wedding planner at the chapel. It reminded him of just how she’d gotten so messy and made him want to take her back upstairs to see what more damage he could do to her perfect appearance in the bedroom.
From the skittish expression on her face, he doubted he’d get the chance. Last night was likely a one-time event, so he’d have to be content with that. Instead, Colin returned to pouring the coffee he’d made into a mug for each of them. “How do you take your coffee? I have raw sugar, fake sugar, whole milk and hazelnut creamer. Oh, and getting it in a go-cup isn’t an option, by the way.”
She smiled sheepishly, clearly knowing she’d been caught trying to make a quick getaway. “I promise not to drink on the run. A splash of milk and a spoonful of raw sugar, please.”
He nodded and worked on making her the perfect cup. “Would you like to have coffee downstairs or on the deck?”
She looked up at the staircase to the bedroom, which they’d have to pass through to get to the deck. “The kitchen nook is fine,” she said, obviously unwilling to risk the pleasurable detour. “I’m sure we missed the best of the sunrise a long time ago.”
Colin handed over her mug and followed her to the table with a plate of toasted English muffins with strawberry jam and butter. He sat down and picked up one muffin, taking a bite with a loud crunch. He finished chewing and let Natalie sip her coffee before he pressed her about her great escape.
“You seem to be in a hurry this morning. What’s the rush?”
Natalie swallowed her sip of coffee and set the mug on the kitchen table. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. It’s just that I’m, uh, not used to staying over. I’m sort of a master of the four a.m. vanishing act. I prefer to avoid the awkward morning-after thing.”
“You mean coffee and conversation?”
“I suppose,” she said with a smile.
“What kept you from leaving last night?” Colin wasn’t quite sure what he would’ve done if he’d woken up and she was gone. He wasn’t used to this kind of scenario with a woman. He was a relationship guy, and that usually meant enjoying a nice breakfast after a night together, not cold empty sheets beside him in bed.
“I think it was all the wine we had at dinner on top of the...exercise I got later. When I fell asleep, I slept hard. I didn’t so much as move a muscle until I smelled the coffee brewing downstairs.”
Colin considered her answer. He tried not to let it hurt his pride that she hadn’t stayed because she felt compelled, or even wanted to. “You know, despite what happened last night, we’re still friends. I don’t want this to change that, so there’s no need to run before you turn back into a pumpkin. Do you mind me asking why you feel the need to leave?”
Natalie bit at her lip before nodding. “Like I told you before, I’m not much on the relationship thing. I like to keep things simple and sweet. Uncomplicated.”
What was more complicated than this? Colin couldn’t think of anything else. A normal relationship seemed a lot more straightforward. “What does that even mean, Natalie?”
“It means that what we shared last night is all I’m really wanting.”
“I get that. And I’m on board with that or I wouldn’t have let it go that far last night. I’m just curious as to why you feel this way about guys and relationships in general.”
“There’s nothing really in it for me after that first night or two because I don’t believe in love. I think it’s a chemical reaction that’s been built up into more. I also don’t believe in marriage. I enjoy the occasional companionship, but it’s never going to come to any more than that with any man.”
Colin listened to her talk, realizing this was worse than he’d thought. It could’ve just as easily been his ex-wife, Pam, sitting across the table talking to him. Yes, Natalie had said she wasn’t the marrying kind, but this was more than just that. She didn’t believe in the entire concept. He raised his hand to his head to shake off the déjà vu and the dull throb that had formed at his temple. It was a good thing he knew about her resistance going into this or it could’ve been a much bigger blow. “A wedding planner that doesn’t believe in love or marriage?”
She shrugged. “Just because I don’t believe in it doesn’t mean that other people can’t. I’m organized and I’m detail-oriented. I was made for this kind of work, so why not?”
The whole thing seemed a little preposterous. “So even though you spend all your days helping people get married, you never intend to marry or have a family of your own?”
“No,” Natalie said, shaking her head. “You know what I grew up with, Colin. My mother is on the verge of dumping her fourth husband. I’ve seen too many relationships fall apart to set myself up for that. The heartache, the expense, the legal hassles... I mean, after everything that happened, don’t you sometimes wish that you’d never married Pam?”
That wasn’t a simple question to answer. He�
�d spent many nights asking himself the same thing and hadn’t quite decided on what he’d choose if he had the power to bend time and do things differently. “Yes and no. Yes, never marrying or even never dating would’ve been easier on my heart. But more than not getting married, I just wish Shane had been mine. I don’t know how long Pam and I would’ve been able to hold our marriage together, but even if we’d divorced in that case, I’d still have my son. I’d have a piece of the family I want. Now I have nothing but the lost dream of what I could’ve had. As they say, ‘a taste of honey is worse than none at all,’ but I wouldn’t trade away my time with Shane. The day he was born was the happiest day of my life. And the day I found out he wasn’t my son was the worst. I lost my son and I wasn’t even allowed to grieve the loss because I never truly had him to begin with.”
Natalie frowned into her coffee cup. “That’s exactly the kind of heartache I want to stay away from. I can’t understand how someone could go through that and be willing to dust themselves off and try again.”
“It’s called hope. And I can’t understand how someone could go through their life alone. Having a family, having children and seeing them grow up is what life is all about.”
“Exactly. It’s survival of the species, our own biology tricking us into emotional attachments to ensure stability for raising the next generation. Then it fades away and we’re left feeling unfulfilled because society has sold us on a romantic ideal that only really exists in movies and books.”
Colin could only shake his head. “That’s the worst attitude about love I’ve ever heard.”
“I don’t force anyone else to subscribe to my ideas. I didn’t come up with this overnight, I assure you. I learned the hard way that love is just a biological impulse that people confuse with Hallmark card sentiment. Have you ever noticed that all the fairy tales end when the Prince and Princess get married? That’s because the story wouldn’t be that exciting if it showed their lives after that. The Prince works too much. The Princess resents that she’s constantly picking up his dirty socks and wiping the snotty noses of his children, so she nags at the Prince when he comes home. The Prince has an affair with his secretary. The Princess throws the Prince out of the palace and takes him to court for child support. Not exactly happily ever after.”
A White Wedding Christmas Page 8
