“When I finish, Frankie and Lily will turn to face each other and hold hands while they recite the vows.”
This was the part Natalie was dreading. Turning to Colin, she took the other hand he offered. It was awkward to stare at his chest, so she forced her chin up to meet his eyes. The initial contact was like a punch to her stomach. There wasn’t a hint of warmth in those golden eyes. He hated her, and she understood that. She had thrown his love in his face. She didn’t know what else to do. Say yes? Dive headfirst into the fantasy of marriage like everyone else? She could see now how easy it was to get swept up into it. The current was strong.
Even now, as they stood on the altar together, she felt her body start to relax and her resistance fade. Colin repeated Frankie’s vows, the words of love and trust making Natalie’s chest ache. His expression softened as he spoke, slipping a pretend ring onto her finger.
When it was her turn to recite Lily’s vows, the anxiety was gone. She felt a sense of peace standing here with Colin, as though that was where they were truly meant to be. She loved him. She was scared, but she loved him and had loved him since she was fifteen years old. She’d never felt this way for anyone else because of that. Her heart was already taken, so why would she have any desire to love or marry another man?
She wanted to marry Colin. There was no question of it now. Why did she have to have this revelation two days too late?
She felt her hands start to tremble in his as her voice began to shake as well. Colin narrowed his gaze at her, squeezing her hands tighter to calm the tremble. She was glad to have an imaginary ring, because she was certain she would’ve dropped any real jewelry trying to put it on his finger.
Natalie felt tears form in her eyes as the pastor talked about their holy vows. She wanted to interrupt the rehearsal, to blurt out right then and there that she was wrong. She was sorry for letting her fears get in the way. And most important, that she very desperately wanted to marry him.
“I’ll pronounce them man and wife, then instruct Frankie to kiss the bride,” the pastor explained. “They’ll kiss, holding together long enough for the photographer to get a good shot. Then Lily will get her bouquet and the couple will turn out to face the congregation. I’ll announce them as Mr. and Mrs. Frank Watson, and then you’ll exit the chapel.”
The musicians started playing the exit song. Colin offered his arm and she took it. They stepped down the stairs and along the aisle to the back of the chapel.
When they walked through the doorway, he immediately pulled away from her. She instantly missed the warmth and nearness of his touch, but she knew the moment had passed. The Colin standing beside her now hated her once again.
She recovered by returning to her professional duties. She waited until the maid of honor and best man came out of the chapel behind them, then she returned to the doorway, clapping. “Great job everyone. Now, at this point, the bridal party will be escorted away so the guests can move into the reception hall, then we’ll bring you back into the chapel to take pictures. Does anyone have any questions?”
Everyone shook their heads. It was a small wedding and not particularly complicated aside from the absence of the bride and groom. “Great. Let’s make sure everyone is here at the chapel by three tomorrow. We’ll do some pictures with Bree before the ceremony. If anything happens, you all have my cell phone number.”
People started scattering from the room, Colin amongst them. “Colin?” she called out to him before she lost her nerve.
He stopped and turned back to face her. “Yes?”
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“About what?” She’d never seen him so stiff and unfriendly. It was even worse than it had been before the rehearsal. “Everything for the wedding is set, isn’t it?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then we have nothing to talk about.”
His abrupt shutdown rattled her. “I, I mean, could you please just give me two minutes to talk about what happened at the concert?”
He shook his head, his jaw so tight it was like stone. “I think you said all you needed to say on that stage, don’t you?”
She had said a lot, but she had said all the wrong things. “No. Please, Colin. You don’t understand how much I—”
He held up his hand to silence her. “Natalie, stop. You don’t want to marry me. That’s fine. I’m through with trying to convince unwilling women to be my wife. But like I said that night, I’m done. I don’t want to discuss it ever again. Let’s just forget it ever happened so we can get through this wedding without any more drama, okay?”
Before she could answer, Colin turned and disappeared from the chapel. Natalie heard the chime as he opened the front door and headed for his truck.
With every step he took, she felt her heart sink further into her stomach. Her knees threatened to give out from under her, forcing her to sit down in one of the rear pews. She held it together long enough for the musicians to leave, but once she was alone, she completely came undone.
It had been a long time since Natalie cried—good and cried. She got teary at the occasional commercial or news article. She’d shed a tear with Amelia when she lost her first baby in the spring and a few at the concert the other night. But nothing like this. Not since...she paused in her tears to think. Not since her father left Christmas day.
She dropped her face into her hands, trying not to ugly sob so loudly that it echoed through the chapel. There were a lot of people going in and out of the building today, but she didn’t want anyone to see her in such a wretched state.
“Natalie?” a voice called from behind her, as if on cue.
She straightened to attention, wiping her eyes and cheeks without smearing her mascara. “Yes?” she replied without turning around to expose her red, puffy face. “What do you need?”
Natalie sensed the presence move closer until she noticed Gretchen standing at the entrance of the pew beside her. “I need you to scoot over and tell me what the hell is going on.”
She complied, knowing there was no way out of this now. Gretchen settled into the seat, politely keeping her gaze trained on the front of the chapel. She didn’t say a word, waiting for Natalie to spill her guts on her own time.
“I like Christmas,” Natalie confessed. “I like the lights and the food and the music. My holiday humbug days are behind me.”
“What? That’s why you’re crying?”
“Yes. No. Yes and no. I’m crying because I’ve finally found my Christmas spirit and it doesn’t matter. None of it matters because Colin and I are over.”
Gretchen groaned in disappointment. “What happened? You seemed pretty enamored with him a few days ago.”
“He...proposed. Onstage at the Blake Wright concert. In front of everyone.”
“Well, I could see how a lifetime promise of love and devotion in front of thousands of witnesses could ruin a relationship.”
Natalie noted her friend’s flat tone. “I panicked. And I said no. And I didn’t do it well. I said some pretty ugly things to him.”
Gretchen put her arm around Natalie’s shoulder. “Why are you fighting this so hard? What are you afraid of, Natalie?”
“I’m afraid...” She took a deep breath. “I’m afraid that I’m going to let myself fall for the fantasy and he’s going to leave.”
“The fantasy?” Gretchen questioned.
“Love. Marriage.”
“How can you still see it as a fantasy when you know you’re in love with him?”
“Because I can’t be certain it’s real. This could just be a biological attachment to ensure the care of my nonexistent offspring. And even if it is real, I can’t be sure it will last.”
“You can’t be certain of anything in life, Natalie. Maybe it’s biology, maybe it’s not. But by pushing Colin away, you’re guaranteein
g that you’re going to lose him. It doesn’t matter if your feelings will last now.”
“I know,” Natalie said with a sigh. “I realized that today when we were standing on the altar during the rehearsal. Up there, holding his hands and looking into his eyes, I realized that I want to be with Colin. I want to marry him. He’s worth the risk. But it’s too late. I’ve ruined everything. He won’t even speak to me about anything but Lily’s wedding.”
“I think he might just need a little time. You’ve both got a lot on your minds with the wedding. They’re so stressful. But once that’s done, I say reach out to him. Put your heart on the line the way he did. Take the risk. If he says no, you haven’t lost anything. But if you can get him to listen to how you feel, you can gain everything.”
Natalie nodded and dried the last of her tears. Gretchen was right. How had she become a relationship expert so quickly?
She knew what she had to do now. She had to hand her heart to Colin on a silver platter and pray he didn’t crush it.
Twelve
Colin was trying to keep his mind occupied. Just a few more hours and all this would be over. He could give the keys to the house to his sister, pay the bill for the wedding and walk out of this place like he’d never fallen in love with Natalie Sharpe.
Sure, it would be that easy.
He was busying himself by greeting guests as they came into the chapel. He assisted the ushers in handing out programs, hugging and kissing friends and family as they came in. A lot of folks had shown up for Lily’s big day and he was pleased. They had sent out a lot of email invitations, but in the rush, he wasn’t sure who had accepted until they walked in the door.
He was very surprised to see Natalie’s mother and father walk into the chapel. They had big smiles on their faces as they chatted and made their way over to him. Perhaps time and distance had healed their wounds, even if Natalie’s remained fresh.
“Mr. Sharpe,” Colin said, shaking the man’s hand.
“How are you, son?”
“Doing well,” he lied. “So glad you could make it for Lily and Frankie’s big day.”
He hugged Natalie’s mother and the usher escorted them all down the aisle to their seats. Casually, he glanced at his watch. It was getting close to time. He’d expected to see Frankie by now, but every bearded, tattooed guy that caught his eye was just a guest of the groom.
Glancing across the foyer, he spotted Natalie and instantly knew that something was wrong. She looked decidedly flustered and he didn’t expect that of her, even after everything that happened last night. She looked very put-together, as usual, in a light gray linen suit with her headset on and her crystal-encrusted tablet clutched to her chest, but there was an anxiety lining her dark eyes.
As much as he didn’t want to talk to her, he made his way through the crowd of arriving wedding guests to where she was standing. “What’s the matter?”
Taking him by the elbow, she led him into the hallway near her office where they were out of the guests’ earshot. “They’re not here yet.”
“They who?”
“Your sister and her fiancé. The flight they were supposed to be on landed four hours ago, I checked, but I haven’t heard a word from either of them. I’ve got a hair and makeup crew twiddling their thumbs. The wedding starts in thirty minutes and I’ve got no couple to marry.”
An icy-cold fear started rushing through his veins. He’d worried about this almost from the moment he’d insisted that Lily have a formal wedding. It didn’t surprise him at all. She’d given in to his request far too easily. He should’ve known she’d do something like this when the opportunity arose. “I’m sure they’re on their way,” he said, trying to soothe her nerves even as his lit up with panic. “This has to happen all the time, right?”
“No. It’s never happened. I have had grooms bail, brides bail, but never both of them together. You’ve got to track her down. Now. She’s not answering my calls.”
“Okay. I’ll try calling her right now.” He stepped away from her office and went down the hall to the far corner where the sounds of the crowd wouldn’t interfere. As he was about to raise the phone to his ear, it vibrated and chimed in his hand. When he looked down, it was like someone had kicked him in the stomach. The air was completely knocked out of him.
It was a photo text from his sister. She and Frankie were standing under the Chapel of Love sign, sporting wedding rings. They were wearing jeans. She had a little veil on her head and a carnation bouquet in her hand. “Guess what? We decided to stay in Vegas and elope! Sorry about the plans.”
Sorry about the plans. His chest started to tighten. Sorry about the plans? There were two hundred people in the chapel, a staff in the kitchen preparing the dinner. There were ten thousand dollars’ worth of flowers decorating the ballroom. That was just the ballroom! But the bride and groom decided to elope in Vegas. So sorry.
When he was finally able to look up from his phone, he caught Natalie’s eye from across the hall. She looked the way he felt, with a distraught expression on her face. She held up her own phone to display the same picture he was looking at.
They moved quickly toward each other, meeting in the middle. “What do we do?”
Natalie took a deep breath. “Well, obviously there isn’t going to be a wedding, so we can send the preacher home. The food and band are already paid for, and there’s no sense in it all going to waste. So if I were you, I’d lie and tell them that Lily and Frankie got stuck in Vegas because of bad weather and decided to elope. Invite them to celebrate at the reception, have dinner, eat the cake and send everyone home.”
Colin dropped his face into his hands. How had this week turned into such a disaster? His proposal to Natalie couldn’t have gone worse. His sister was a no-show for her own wedding. He was feeling like he wanted to just walk out the door and lock himself in his bedroom until the New Year.
He supposed her suggestion was sensible. There was no point in wasting all that food. “I guess that’s what we’ll have to do, then. What a mess. I’m going to kill her when she gets home. I mean it.”
“There is one other option,” she said in a voice so small he almost didn’t hear it.
Colin looked up to see Natalie nervously chewing at her lip. “What other option?”
She looked at him for a moment, a determined tilt to her chin that hadn’t been there before. “This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out, okay?”
“At this point, I’m open to anything.”
“I’m sorry, Colin. I’m sorry about the way I reacted to your proposal. I know I hurt you and I didn’t intend to. But you were right, I was just scared. My whole life I’ve seen relationships fall apart and I told myself I’d never put myself through that. And then I fell in love with you anyway. I didn’t know what to do. When you proposed, the moment was so perfect and I just panicked. I ruined it all and I can never tell you just how sorry I am. I would go back in time and change it if I could, but I can’t.”
Colin had certainly not been expecting this right now. With everything else going on, he wasn’t entirely sure he was emotionally capable of handling her apology. “Natalie, can we talk about this later? I understand you want to get this off your chest, but we’re in the middle of a crisis here.”
“And I’m trying to fix it,” she countered. “Do you love me, Colin?”
He looked down at her heart-shaped face, her brow furrowed in worry. The headset lined her cheek, the microphone hovering right at the corner of her full, pink lips. Of course he loved her. That was what hurt the most. They loved each other, but for some reason, everything had gone wrong and he didn’t understand why. Although he didn’t want to admit it, he figured it couldn’t hurt at this point.
“Yes, I love you, Natalie. That’s why I proposed to you. I wanted to start a life with you and I thought you wanted the s
ame thing.”
“I didn’t know what I wanted, but now I do. I do want to start a life with you.”
Colin barely had a chance to process Natalie’s words before she dropped down onto one knee in front of him. “Natalie, what are you doing?”
“I love you, Colin. There’s nothing I want more than to marry you and build a life together. I’m sorry that I ruined your grand proposal, but I have another one for you. Will you marry me?”
Colin looked around, trying to see if anyone was watching the bizarre scene in front of him. “Are you proposing to me?”
Natalie took his hand and held it tightly in her own. “Yes. I want to marry you, Colin. Right now.”
He stiffened, then dropped down on his own knee, so they could discuss this eye to eye. “You want to get married right now?”
She smiled wide. “Why not? We’ve got a chapel full of your family just a few feet away. My parents are even here. The wedding gown fits me. Not to mention that we’ve got a big, beautiful reception waiting that you and I planned together. It’s exactly the wedding I would choose if we were going to get married any other day. It’s going to go to waste if we don’t use it, so why not today?”
Colin’s heart started racing in his chest. Would they really go through with this? “Natalie, are you sure? I can’t bear to have another wife change her mind and walk out of my life. If we get married today, we’re getting married forever. Are you okay with that?”
She reached out and cupped his face, holding his cheeks in her hands. “I am very okay with that. You’re not getting rid of me, mister.”
“Okay, then yes, I will marry you,” he said with a grin. He leaned forward to kiss her, the mouthpiece of her headset getting in the way.
A White Wedding Christmas Page 14
