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“How are the children?” her mother asked.
“Wonderful,” Jude said. “Zach’s grades are phenomenal and Mia has become a talented actress. Daddy would have been proud of her. ”
Her mother sighed. It didn’t surprise Jude, that small exhalation of breath. Dad as a topic was off-limits. Jude had been a daddy’s girl; neither one of them wanted to acknowledge that now, all these years after his death, although Jude still missed him and his bear hugs. “I’m sure you’re right,” her mother said, smiling tightly. “I assume Zach can go to any school he wants. I hope he continues with his plans to become a doctor. It would be a shame if he quit his studies. ”
“I suppose that’s another reminder that I quit law school. I was pregnant and Miles was in medical school. We hardly had a choice. ”
“You lost the baby,” her mother said, as if that was what mattered.
“Yes,” Jude said quietly, remembering. She’d been young and in love, and honestly, for most of her life, she’d been afraid of motherhood, afraid that she would discover in herself some genetic anomaly that had been passed down from Caroline. She and Miles had gotten pregnant accidentally—too soon, when they weren’t ready—and Jude had discovered from the inception how profoundly she could love. The very idea of motherhood had transformed her.
“You have always loved your children too much. You care too much about making them happy. ”
Parenting advice from her mother. Perfect. Jude smiled thinly. “It’s impossible to love your children too much. Although I wouldn’t really expect you to understand that. ”
Her mother flinched. “Judith, why is it that you give that girl from the trailer park the benefit of every doubt, and you give me none?”
“Lexi—and you certainly know her name by now—has been like a part of this family for the past three years. She has never disappointed me. ”
“And I have. ”
Jude didn’t answer. What was the point? Instead, she stood up. “How about we have lunch now?”
Her mother rose. “That would be nice. ”
They spent the rest of the appointed time—exactly two hours, from twelve to two, talking about things that didn’t matter. When it was over, Mother kissed Jude perfunctorily on the cheek and went to the entry, where she paused. “Good-bye, Judith. Today was lovely. Thank you. ”
“Good-bye, Mother. ”
Jude stared through the open door at her mother’s slim figure, walking fast through the garden, not bothering to look at any of it. As hard as she tried to feel nothing, Jude experienced the free-form depression that always accompanied these lunches. Why was it that she couldn’t quite stop wanting her mother’s love? The Mercedes came to life with a throaty purr and drove slowly up the driveway.
On the entry table, a cordless phone lay next to a glass bowl filled with floating roses. Jude picked it up and punched in her best friend’s number.
“Hello?”
“Molly. Thank God,” Jude said, leaning against the wall. Suddenly, she was exhausted. “The wicked witch was just here. ”
“Your mother? Is it Wednesday?”
“Who else?”
“You want a drink?”
“I thought you’d never ask. ”
“Twenty minutes. Dockside?”
“See you there. ”
* * *
On Friday, after school, they went shopping for dresses. Jude was ridiculously pleased about the whole thing. She knew it was just a dance, nothing earth-shattering, but it was Mia’s first real date, and Jude was eager to make the whole experience perfect for her daughter. To that end, she’d set up manicures and pedicures for both of them—and Lexi, of course—and an evening of shopping at the mall.
She heard her bedroom door open and she turned. Miles stood in the doorway. He leaned against the doorjamb, wearing a pair of well-worn Levi’s and an Aerosmith T-shirt. In the pale autumn light, he looked ruggedly handsome. A gray stubble had grown out during the day, giving his face a sculpted look. “I come home from work early and you’re leaving?”
Smiling, she went to him, let him take her in his arms. “Why is it, Dr. Farraday, that you don’t shave and your hair starts going gray and you manage to look more handsome, but if I forget makeup for one day, people mistake me for Grandma Moses?”
“They only call you that behind your back. ”
“Very funny. ”
He touched her jawline, a featherlight caress. “You’re beautiful, Jude, and you know it. It’s why things go your way. ”
It was true for both of them. Miles had been golden from childhood. Good-looking and brilliant, with a ready smile, he seduced people without even trying. His nickname at the hospital was Doc Hollywood.
“Take Zach out for dinner. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Maybe we can sit on the beach tonight and have a glass of wine. We haven’t done that in a while. ”
Miles drew her in for a kiss that meant something. Then he swatted her butt. “You better go before I remember how much I like afternoon sex. ”
“As opposed to morning sex and evening sex, which you hate?” She twirled playfully out of his grasp and headed upstairs.
At Zach’s bedroom door, she knocked, waited for a “come in,” and opened the door. He sat in that expensive new game chair of his, playing something on his Xbox. She touched his head, scratched his hair. His hair was still damp from football practice. He lifted up into her touch, straining like a flower toward the sun.
“We’re going to the mall to buy Mia a dress for the dance. You want to come?”
He laughed. “I’m not even going to the dance, remember? Amanda will be in L. A. with her family. ”
Jude sat down on the bed. “I hate that you’re not going. It’s senior year. And Mia tells me you’re a shoo-in for homecoming king. ”
Zach rolled his eyes. “Big deal. ”
“You should take a friend to the dance. Someday you’ll look back—”
“If I care about that crap in the future, shoot me. Really. ”
Jude couldn’t help smiling. “Okay, fine. But at least come shopping with us. It would mean a lot to Mia. ”
“I thought Lexi was going. ”
“She is. What does that have to do with it?”
“Mia has a friend with her. And I am not sitting outside a dressing room while my sister tries on dresses. No way. ”
“Okay, but I’m not giving up on the dance. ”
“There’s a shock,” he said with a grin. “You’re not giving up on something. And do not buy me jeans again. I mean it, Mom. You don’t get what I like. ”
“Fine. Fine. ” Jude scratched his head one last time and turned away from him.
She left Zach’s room and met Mia in the hallway. Together, they went out to the garage. In fifteen minutes, they had picked up Lexi and were on their way to the mall.
At the first store, Mia wandered among the racks, looking a little confused and overwhelmed, and then suddenly she pulled out a dress. “Look at this one,” she said, holding up a floor-length salmon-pink dress with lacy sleeves and a tiered skirt. “What do you think?” she asked Lexi.
Lexi smiled, but it was a little distracted. “It’s great. Try it on. ”
“Only if you’ll try one on, too. Please? I can’t do it alone. You know I can’t. ”
Lexi sighed. She went to the rounder, found an aquamarine-blue gown with a beaded, strapless bodice, and followed Mia into the dressing rooms.
When they came out, Jude was stunned by how beautiful they both looked. “Those are perfect,” she said.
Mia studied her own reflection as she spun around. “These are definitely our dresses for homecoming, don’t you think, Lexster?”
“I’m not going to the dance,” Lexi said. “I don’t have a date. ”
Mia stopped twirling. “Then I’m not going either. ”
Lexi muttered something under her breath and walked back into the dressing room. When she came ba
“Come on, Lexi,” Mia pleaded. “You’re my best friend. If you don’t go to the dance, I won’t go. ”
“She could go with Zach,” Jude said.
Mia shrieked. “That’s a great idea, Mom. We can totally double-date. ”
Lexi gasped. “I am not going to force your brother to take me to a stupid dance. ” On that, she walked away from them.
Tears immediately brightened Mia’s eyes. “Did I hurt her feelings, Mom? I didn’t mean to. ”
Jude watched Lexi leave the store. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said softly. “We all just … forget sometimes that Lexi doesn’t have the same opportunities that you do. We should have been a little more sensitive. Come on. ” They walked over to the register, where Jude paid for both dresses. She had the clerk box up Lexi’s. “Go get dressed, Poppet. I’ll take care of Lexi. ”
Jude walked out of the small boutique and into the busy mall, carrying a shopping bag. Everywhere she looked, she saw packs of girls, no doubt armed with their parents’ credit cards. No wonder Lexi was out of sorts. It had to be difficult to be different from all the kids you knew, from your best friend, who just expected to get what she wanted.
Jude saw Lexi sitting on the bench outside the bookstore. She was slumped forward, with her long black hair falling across her downcast face.
Jude went to her, sat down. Lexi scooted sideways to make room for her.
“Sorry for the rant,” Lexi mumbled.
“I should have been more sensitive. I know those dresses are expensive. ”
“It’s not that. ”
Jude tucked the hair back behind Lexi’s ear so she could see the girl’s face. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. ”
“It’s cool. I shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it. ”
Jude sat back. Her heart ached for Lexi; she knew how hard life had been for the girl, how hard it still was sometimes. While most of the island kids—like her own—were looking all over the country for the perfect college, Lexi was planning on going to the local junior college after graduation. She worked too many hours at the ice cream shop, saving every cent she earned. Her pie-in-the-sky dream was a full scholarship to the UW, but those were few and far between. It pained Jude to think that Lexi would miss the rite-of-passage senior year homecoming dance. “I hear Zach has a good chance of being homecoming king. ”
“He will be. ”
“And Kaye Hurtt is a shoo-in for queen. ”
“It could be Maria de la Pena. ”
“But Zach won’t be there because Amanda’s going to be out of town. ”
Lexi tilted her face to Jude. If Jude hadn’t known better, she would have said Lexi looked scared. “I didn’t know that. ”
“I don’t want either one of you to miss the dance. Zach would never take a real date, not while he’s with Amanda, but you’re his sister’s best friend. Amanda wouldn’t mind. And then all three of you could have fun at the dance. You’ll always remember it. ”
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