by JJ Ross
“You and Chance have chemistry. The way you two look at each other and always know what the other is thinking is the makings of something real. The two of you are the ones that are made for each other. I don’t understand why you two are so stubborn. You both obviously have always been in love with each other. Sorry about the “L” word, anyhow, we have a student council meeting to go to, Miss Prezzzident,” she said as she stood up.
I grinned, “After you Miss Vice Prezzzident,” I teased as I stood up and motioned for her to go first. We both giggled and walked to our meeting. Today’s agenda was planning the upcoming winter formal, where Chance, no doubt, would be crowned king and some cheerleader would be crowned his adored queen.
**********
I sat on my bed, with my ear buds in and reading my note cards for an upcoming exam. The winter formal was only weeks away and I was getting stressed just thinking about it. Luckily, the planning and other efforts were a good interference for my brain not to wander to thoughts of Chance.
I looked at the scrawled notes on my bed and the scattered papers that had various chicken-scratch and copies of receipts for deposits for the dance. The mess aggravated me, so I scooped the notes into a neat pile and shoved them into my backpack, which I dropped to the floor next to my bed.
I stood up and began to pace as I read, trying to stay awake. I was becoming frustrated reading the same information over and over again, and I felt as if I wasn’t absorbing what I was reading. I yanked my ear buds out and stood there, looking at my bedroom door, debating whether I wanted to go downstairs and maybe make myself a snack.
Everyone was asleep. Shaking my head at myself, I decided not to because I didn’t want to wake anyone up. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was 1 a.m. on a school night. I needed to get some rest.
As I walked toward my light switch, I heard a noise behind me that made me jump and spin around.
“Oh my God, Chance, you scared me!” I whispered to him. Chance and I usually left our window unlocked for each other if we needed to get out of our own house.
“Sorry. I was hoping you were still awake. I couldn’t sleep so I called Drew and talked about football for a while. Then he had to go and I saw your light on, so I figured you couldn’t sleep either,” he whispered over his shoulder as he quietly closed my window.
“It’s okay. You just scared me,” I said as I walked to my bed and sat down.
“So, why can’t you sleep?”
“I don’t know,” he stood at my window looking out across the space between our bedroom windows, “I just have a lot going on and with the dance coming up, I just, I don’t know. I guess I’m kinda stressed out about football scouts and actually taking someone to a dance, too. I was hoping I could just go solo like I always have and hang out with you. Just two friends going to a dance. No pressure. You know what I mean?” He asked as he turned to me. There’s that word again. Friend.
“I guess so,” I replied, my heart breaking, “Just go and enjoy yourself, and just be yourself or some cliché stuff like that.”
“Funny,” he half laughed. “So, who are you going to go with? I mean, I know you have plenty of options, just, are you going to go with anyone?”
I blushed slightly. That was almost good enough to count as a compliment.
“I wasn’t planning on it. I have a lot of work to do and I need to get my applications submitted and I just, I don’t know if I will even go. Plus, if I do, I don’t think I will stay. Just make an appearance as student council president and then duck out,” I was rambling on.
“Look,” he was facing me and had grabbed my hand, “I just don’t want you to be alone. I mean, you and I have been friends since before we can remember, and I want you to…” he shook his head as if clearing his thought. Did I seem lonely?
“Anyhow I talked to Drew and he suggested that we do our thing and go together. Actually, first he joked that he would come down and rescue you, but then he suggested me. Well, what do you say? Wanna go together?”
Why couldn’t Drew actually come rescue me? Carry me away into the sunset. Or better yet, into his bed. I grinned slightly. No, he suggested another option for his little brother’s friend.
“Sounds fun.”
“Good. I was hoping so. So, I had talked to Chris and about us all riding together, since he is taking Ashley, and he mentioned that he had always had a little thing for you, but that for some reason he thought that you and I were…umm,” he stopped and laughed nervously as he let my hand go, “it’s silly. Nevermind. Do you want to ride with them, like a fake double date?”
Of course. It couldn’t be a real double date. It had to be fake.
“What’s silly?”
“Well, you and me,” he replied.
“Why is that silly?” I asked defensively.
“Well, because we are best friends and we don’t look at each other like that and…”
“Speak for yourself,” I muttered under my breath.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing. You’re right. We are just friends. It’s not like that. We have always been friends and that’s just how it will always be, right?”
“Sonny, why are you getting so worked up? I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought, well, we have never, I mean, we have never approached the subject. Is it something we should be talking about?” he stammered.
“Whatever. Forget it. I think I am just tired and rambling as usual and…” I trailed off, trying to change the subject.
“Come here,” he pulled me into a hug and held me close. I breathed him in, letting my heart race, as he let me snuggle into him.
“Quit worrying, I think that the winter formal is going to be amazing. Quit stressing so much. Just breathe.”
And that was exactly what I did; I breathed him in as I closed my eyes. After a moment, that was longer than any friends hug, I finally pulled back slightly to look at his face.
“You think?” I asked teasing.
“I mean, I know it will be great. Absolutely,” he smiled back, “You always do great things. Why would this be any different?”
“Thanks Chance,” I said as I nuzzled back into his chest.
Slowly, he pulled away from me and looked down at me as if to say something but then let me go and walked to the window. He opened the window, and then quickly and quietly hopped out. He stood outside of the window on the roof, looking at me. I knelt down on my side of the window, eye level with him.
“I mean it, Sonny. You are amazing,” He said as he leaned a little closer.
“Thanks, Chance,” I whispered as we looked into each other’s eyes without moving.
Just then, Chance leaned forward and moved a lock of chocolate brown curl out of my face. I blushed slightly as his hand hesitated on my cheek. He leaned forward and then his lips met mine. Slowly. Softly. He cupped my face with both hands as he kissed me passionately. I felt my heart race as I melted into the moment.
Then, just like that, he stopped and pulled away from me.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just did that. I just,” he started.
“It’s okay,” I replied catching my breath, “It was nice. I mean…actually, I think I liked it. I mean…well, I don’t think, I know. What I meant to say is, I just, I am just going to go to bed. I’m pretty beat. Good night Chance,” I replied as I quickly reached up to pull the window down. He stopped the window.
“I’m sorry Sonny. I don’t want things to change. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess. I don’t know. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and a lot about ‘What if?’ I just can’t shake these thoughts about you. I find myself thinking about you all the time. I think of you when I eat and during practice. I was actually kind of flattered or something that Chris thought we had a thing, which is where it kinda started. Well, where it got worse, I guess you could say. What if we did have a thing and what if we were a couple? I know it sounds corny, but I can’t stop considering the possibility of us.”
“Look, Chance, it’s nothing. Consider it forgotten.”
“See, that’s just it. There are things you do that lead me to believe that maybe, just maybe you and I could, I mean, the way I see you looking at me, and it might be my imagination, but I feel like you look at me as if you have something to say. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I imagine you telling me you feel the same way…” he was falling all over the words and barely making sense anymore. Yet, through all this jumbled talk, I knew exactly what he was trying to say. Then, I made a stupid move. I decided to divert instead of professing my love for him too.
“Chance, please stop. This is crazy. I have to go to bed and you are hardly making any sense. I think you let your imagination run wild sometimes. We are just friends and nothing more. Please go home and sleep on it. You will see things differently in the morning.”
He climbed back into my window and faced me, “Sonny, please believe me when I say that I do care about you. I don’t just mean as a friend,” he whispered as he faced me.
“Say it again,” I blurted at hearing him say exactly what I needed him to say.
“I really care about you?” he said with a question.
“No, the other part,” I grinned ear to ear. He smiled knowing what I meant.
“Not as a friend,” he smiled, saying it.
“Not as a friend,” I repeated, feeling my whole body light up. I wasn’t just the friend next door. I wasn’t just the girl that he grew up with. I was more.
“Chance, I care about you too. I always have,” I admitted, finally feeling the weight lift. It felt good to tell him after all this time.
“You’re amazing, Sonny. I will see you in the morning, okay?”
“Yep, bright and early,” I smiled.
“I don’t know about bright, but early for sure,” he said as he climbed across our roofs to his window. We had a tree that was on the property lines between our houses and our windows faced each other’s. It was just a matter of grabbing the tree and swinging to the other roof. Chance and I had used this method for years. It always felt weird to use a door. I watched as he slipped into his window and into the darkness. I sighed and slid down onto the floor leaning against the wall.
What now?
I guess tomorrow was a new day.
**********
Thursday was a gross, rainy day. I climbed into Chance’s Jeep and we headed to school. He reached over and held my hand as he drove and I smiled up at him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing…but I’m glad it’s with you,” he said glancing over at me.
“Geez, Chance, we’re just going to school!” I said, jokingly.
“Not that,” he laughed, lightly lifting my hand and eyeing it, “this.”
“I don’t think it will be all that different, do you?”
“Us being a couple?”
“Yeah, that.”
“I guess you’re right,” he said, thinking. “So, I just basically get to kiss my best friend all the time.”
“Don’t do that,” I cringed.
“Do what?”
“Call me your friend. That’s been a stab at my heart for a long time, Chance.”
“Okay, you got it,” he smiled understandingly, and kissed my hand and I smiled contently as he drove us to school.
Finally. I had my guy.
I sat through my morning classes replaying our night. I didn’t know what to think of everything that had happened because it still felt like a dream. The way he kissed me was amazing. When his mouth touched mine, I felt weak. I could barely concentrate throughout my classes.
The bell rang and I sighed in relief. Finally! Lunchtime. I rushed to the cafeteria. Hurriedly I sat at our usual lunch table and waited for Maggie as I flipped through my History book, impatiently. I heard Maggie set down her books and sigh loudly.
“Hey you!” I smiled, anxious to get feedback from my friend.
“Hey. How is your morning going?”
“Good I guess. I mean, there is one thing…”
“Oh my gosh, Sonny! How about this morning, in Biology, Mr. Freemont was showing us how to mix a,” she stopped. She analyzed my face and looked quizzical, “I’m sorry, what were you saying? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Why?” I asked as I stared across the room at nothing in particular.
“There is something going on, what is it? You look different, somehow. Did you do something? Oh my gosh, did you give up your V card?!”
“What? No! No. It’s nothing like that, I was just thinking of things,” I turned to her and tried to change the subject, “How about we meet here on Saturday with the rest of the committee and measure the gym to make sure we have the right stuff for set up and lay out the decorations? Like a test run? I hate last minute rushing.”
“That sounds fine,” she smiled as she pulled out a planner for student council. We began to go over plans and pricing materials. I was in the middle of discussing color schemes, when I stopped and dropped my hands into my lap in mock defeat and looked at Maggie, as if to ask “what?”
“Okay, Sonny, what is going on? I have been here, listening to you talk for 30 minutes and every time I glance up, Chance is fixated on you. Then when I catch him, he turns away as if a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. What is going on?”
“I don’t know,” I said innocently. I squealed like a five year old inside. He was focused on me!
“Sonny, we have been friends for how long? I know you better than that. Did you say something to him or did something happen between you two? You better not be holding out on me.”
“Not really,” I said as I looked away, “I mean, we may have accidently kissed, but nothing more happened.” I wanted to take it back as soon as I had said it. All of a sudden, I felt as if whatever was happening between Chance and I, I wanted to cherish and keep it to myself.
“You accidently kissed? How do you accidently kiss? Did you trip and his lips caught your fall?! This is huge! This is it. You two are gonna be together! What did he say, like, after? What did he do? Tell me!” she laughed.
I was laughing, “No. I mean, it happened, and we are just kind of going slow and taking it a day at a time. It’s all still very new to both of us,” I smiled.
“Okay. But if he keeps staring this way, I will walk over there and say something about how he should stop drooling over you!” she teased. I glanced over my shoulder to catch him looking my way, causing me to blush. I grinned at him and turned back to Maggie.
“It’s sweet,” I reassured her, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“Okay. Whatever,” she smiled and went back to the notebook in front of her. I sighed, and turned to help Maggie with the assignment.
When school was over, it was still pouring down rain. Bummer. I only liked rainy days if I was at home, snuggled in my pajamas so naturally, I couldn’t wait to get home.
Today was the perfect day to be alone with him because it was Thursday. Chance’s parents were usually out very late on Thursday because his mother loved bingo, and our parents always went together. Chance and I had always kept each other company on these Thursday nights. It was the perfect opportunity.
I ran to the jeep and opened the door. When I swung the door open, to my dismay, there sat Ashley smiling down at me.
“I hope you don’t mind if I sit up front, Sonny,” she said through her perfect smile. I felt a tinge of jealousy. I always sat in the passenger seat, next to Chance. I smiled back at her, forcing my face not to show the emotion I truly felt. What I wanted was to yank her out of the seat and throw her into the rain, but instead, I opted to get into the jeep with a nonchalant attitude.
“Of course not, Ashley,” I said.
“Actually, Ashley, sorry, but my girl always sits up front, with me,” Chance winked at me, patting the seat after hopping into the driver’s seat. Ashley got into the back seat and I smiled at my insignificant victory.
I looked to Chance, questioning him as to her
presence.
“Chris has after-school tutoring and Ashley needed a ride home. I’m gonna take you home and then go drop her off and pick up some dinner on the way back, unless you think your mom left something for us to eat.”
“I doubt it. That’s fine.”
He reached over and took my hand and stroked the top with his thumb as he drove. Ashley leaned forward, between us, smiling.
“So, you two finally got together, huh?”
We exchanged glances and I turned to her. I wasn’t quite sure what we were. Chance quickly cleared up any doubts I had.
“Yep. Sonny’s my girl. It’s been a lifetime in the making,” he winked again and I melted.
They talked quietly about last week’s football game, as I stared out of the window and tuned them out. I was his girl and he was willing to tell the world. I smiled watching the rain as he drove to our houses.
Finally, Chance pulled into my driveway. I hopped out and Ashley climbed over into the front seat, quickly buckling herself in. I turned to walk away, but Chance had jogged around to the passenger side. He shut the door and turned to me in the rain.
“I won’t be long,” he assured me. I nodded.
“I’m just gonna drop her off and then meet you at your house, okay?”
“Yep.”
He leaned in and kissed me but pulled back faster than I would have liked.
“What’s wrong?” I frowned.
“You really want to make out in front of Ashley?” he laughed.
“You’re right. Hurry back.” With that he gave me a quick hug and then he hurried to get out of the rain.
Chapter 3
After I had gone up to my room to change out of my rain soaked clothes, I came downstairs and into the den. I flopped onto the couch and popped the top on the soda I had retrieved from the fridge. I sipped on it slightly and set it gently on the coffee table in front of me. The shows flew by as I flipped through the channels on TV and finally stopped on a meaningless show on the history channel.
