by JJ Ross
“I want you so bad,” he whispered as he nibbled on my ear. I smiled as I turned the lock on my door again. I looked up at him through my lashes.
“I’m ready, Chance. I want you, too,” I whispered back.
“Are you sure?” he asked as took a step back to look at me.
“I know, for sure, that I want it to be you.”
“You’re sure?” he asked.
I nodded as I swallowed hard and dropped my shirt to the floor. I grabbed his hand and walked toward my bed. He flipped the light switch and followed me. I stopped in front of my bed and turned to face him.
Slowly my jeans slid off my body and I climbed under my quilt. He quickly followed me and pulled the blanket over us as he climbed on top of me. I was so tense and tried to take deep breaths to calm my nerves. I had no idea what to expect or what to do.
“I’m really nervous. I just want this to be right, Sonny, for you,” He whispered as he kissed a path down to my bra. He fumbled a bit, but then he undid my bra all the while gently kissing and caressing me.
“I’m nervous too, but I know that I want it to be you, Chance…” I whispered back, assuring him this is what I wanted.
“Me too, I’m just….I want it to be good. Not good. That’s lame. I mean perfect. Good for a first time, anyway.”
He slipped out of his boxers and looked at me. He reached down to his jeans and I heard him rustle for a moment. He came back up and held the shiny square up to me. I nodded as I waited.
“You still sure, Sonny?” he asked again as he gently stroked my face and moved my curls out of the way. I nodded.
A tear fell down my cheek. This was it. I was a ball of emotions but I was finally going to lose my virginity.
“Sonny, are you okay?” a look of concern flooded his face, “do you want me to stop? I don’t want to hurt you…are you scared?” he studied my face.
I shook my head. I kissed his cheek and pulled his shoulders down, willing him to continue, “Well, yes, scared, but no Chance, I want this…,” I smiled.
Then suddenly, Chance did stop.
“I love you, Sonny,” he assured me as he kissed my cheek.
“I love you too, Chance,” I replied, willing him to continue.
“I can’t. Not here. Not with your parents down the hall. I’m scared shitless that they are going to catch us. I’m sorry. I can’t. I don’t even know if I could get into it thinking of them being home right now. I love you, babe, but I can’t get caught naked in your bed,” he said looking down at me. I understood what he meant. I had already waited this long. What was another day? I nodded gently and he slowly rolled off of me. We stared at the ceiling quietly, for a long time, snuggled into each other.
I kissed his shoulder as he pulled his shirt on. He smiled over his shoulder and kissed me softly. He pulled my shirt on, over my head and kissed me again as my head popped out of the hole at the top, causing me to giggle slightly. He glanced over at my alarm clock. It read 2:07 a.m.
“I wanna stay with you all night, but I really gotta get going,” he said as he stood up. He walked across the room and unlocked my door and smiled at me.
“I wish you could stay,” I breathed.
“Me too,” he assured me as he bent down to kiss my forehead. He turned to leave and stopped.
Sonny…” he started.
“Yes?” I asked as I sat up in bed. He was by the window, about to climb out.
“When I say I love you?”
“Yes?” I cringed, scared where he was about to go with that statement.
“It’s not to get you to have sex with me. It’s not in the moment, I really mean it. I do love you.” He turned to hop out of the window. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Goodnight babe,” he whispered into my room before he pulled down the window. I heard his light footsteps fade away as I pulled the blanket up to my chin and closed my eyes.
Chapter 6
“Rise and shine, beautiful!” My mom smiled cheerfully as she burst into my room, later that morning. I groaned and pulled the comforter over my head. She tugged slightly on the blanket at the foot of my bed.
“Alright, Sonny, that’s enough sleep for now. It’s almost 9. Looks like our outing is going to be a brunch. Now get up!” She was way too cheerful for me. I slowly sat up and stretched.
“Okay mom, I’m up,” I smiled. She seemed satisfied.
“Alright, dear. I will meet you downstairs in 30 minutes. Okay? 30 minutes,” she reminded as she walked out of my room, leaving the door open. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stared down the hallway in a daze. I began to recap the night before and smiled.
Things were going to be very different. I guess Chance was as nervous as I was, but there was no one else I wanted to go through this with, than him. Patience would pay off for our first time.
I quickly took a shower and threw on my usual garb, jeans, and a t-shirt. Just to be on the safe side, I grabbed a cardigan, in case it got a little chilly. My mother was waiting down stairs for me when I was finished.
She opened the door and gestured for me to exit, “Shall we?” she smiled.
I picked at my eggs as my mother drank her tea. She had been pretty quiet, as if she really wanted to say something.
Finally, she set her cup down and lightly tapped the rim as if in thought. I glanced at her as I continued to pick at the food on my plate.
“What’s wrong mom?” I asked as I set my fork down, giving her my full attention.
“Well, nothing really….I just feel as if there are some things that you are not telling me, or that maybe there are things going on right now that you won’t share with me. I thought we have always been really close and I thought you would always come to me. I feel bad that I am initiating this conversation, but it looks like you won’t come to me on your own.” I studied her face. It was filled with concern and hurt. I felt awful. She was right. We were best friends for a long time. I took a deep breath. I would share a bit but not everything. Not yet.
“Well, just, I don’t know, I guess. I just. Okay, so what age were you when you first had sex? Was dad your first? Do you really have to wait and be in love? I mean, it has to be perfect right? I mean, I’m not ready yet, I want to worry about school and all that, but, how do you know that he’s the one?” I was jumbling all my words and I could see worry cross her face.
“And who is this he you’re referring to?”
“I didn’t say it was anyone in particular. I just have questions. I mean, I just…there are so many kids at school already doing it, I guess I wonder what all the fuss is? Am I putting sex on a pedestal? Is it really not a big deal?” her eyes got wide, so I quickly tried to recover, “I mean, I know it’s a big deal, but, is the person you hook up with really as important as I make it?”
“Okay,” she started, “Well, your father was my first and only sexual partner, for starters. We were in college when we finally had sex and it was awful.” She laughed slightly
“Awful? Why?”
“Well, you kind of imagine this perfect moment. It wasn’t perfect. It was awkward. We were both scared and nervous and well, it gets better. I can tell you that much.”
“You waited until college?” I asked skeptical. How many virgins were actually in college? I’m guessing none.
“Well, yes. Honestly, I was scared that I would get pregnant, like Chance’s mother. We were all friends in high school, and when she got pregnant with Andrew, it was kind of an eye-opener.”
“Chance has mentioned that.”
“So, you and Chance talk about sex?” she asked trying to sound casual.
“Mom, he is not sleeping with anyone and neither am I, if that’s what you mean. He’s focused on sports and I’m focused on school.”
“Oh. I guess I thought that he was a bit...active, and not in sports, if you know what I mean. His mother was very concerned, but I guess she has nothing to worry about then does she? Well not with Chance, anyways.” I knew she was talking about
Drew. What was he doing that could possibly concern his mother? I guess I hadn’t considered that away at college, he was probably running through girls. He was older and with that came experience.
“No, not with Chance. He is all about football. Actually, he is still a virgin too,” I blurted out. That was probably a secret for me to keep. Not many people knew he was a virgin, well, if any. I had recently found out, myself, so it wasn’t common knowledge.
“Oh thank God!”
“That makes you happy? I didn’t know his status was so important,” I replied confused. She smiled as she reached across the table and patted my hand.
“No honey, I didn’t mean that…you said too. I cannot express how relieved I am that you are still a virgin. I mean, I know the day will come and the guy will come, but I am relieved that you have waited this long. It is a rare treasure to find a young lady that is almost 18, who is still waiting for marriage.”
“I guess I just feel there are more important things right now,” I lied.
“I’m really glad to hear that. You know, it’s kind of funny though.”
“What is?”
“Well, when you and Chance were little, you used to make him play ‘wedding’ all the time. His mother and I thought it was the cutest thing. Andrew would be the pastor and you three would have us laughing so hard. We were actually talking about it the other day, and I am just amazed you two never dated. I wouldn’t blame you, you know. Chance is turning out to be a very handsome young man.”
“Mom…umm….what umm…what would you think if Chance and I did date?” she thought for a moment, as if to consider if I were asking a question or confessing something.
“Well,” she smiled, “I think that you two would make sense. You have grown up together and are best friends. I can’t say I would be very surprised.”
I smiled as I took a drink of my juice.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” she asked.
“Not yet.”
“Alright, I am here when you are ready,” she replied as she sipped her tea. She had that look though.
She knew about Chance and I.
Whether she would admit it or not, she knew.
When we pulled up into the driveway, Chance was in his driveway washing his jeep. He looked as if he was almost done, so I decided I would walk over to him.
“Mom, I am gonna go over and talk to Chance for a minute. Is that fine?”
She glanced over to him as she put the car in park. She nodded as she smiled at me. I quickly hugged her and hopped out of her sedan.
“Thanks for brunch…and everything,” I said.
“Hey you,” I smiled timidly as I walked up to him.
“Hey you,” he replied back.
“What do you have planned for today?” I asked as I leaned on his bumper.
“Not much,” he replied. He continued to dry his jeep. I guess I expected him to act differently, but he seemed preoccupied with his jeep. It was actually kind of annoying me.
“Oh, so you wanna hang out?”
“I can’t.” he replied, still focused on drying off his jeep.
“Oh, okay….” I sulked
“I am going to Chris’ house later,” he replied looking down. He walked over to me and gently stroked my arm before dropping his hand quickly.
“I was just gonna go hang out with the guys. They’ve been giving me a tough time for blowing them off to be with you all the time. Don’t be upset. I can come see you later if you want,” he explained. I nodded in understanding.
“I just wanted to spend time with you,” I confessed.
“I know. Well, I can come by after, if you want to do something later tonight,” he winked. I grinned.
“Maybe…maybe not,” I teased.
“Awe come on…don’t make me beg,” he smiled.
I melted, “Definitely. Text me when you get back or whatever.”
“What do you want to do?” he asked.
“I don’t really care. I just want to be with you.”
“You drive me crazy, you know that, right?” he whispered as he looked down at me. I reached up and wiped some soap from his cheek as I winked at him.
“I’m beginning to…”
“Seriously, Sonny, you drive me nuts. I was thinking about you all day. I barely slept last night. It was like Christmas Eve, I just couldn’t wait to see you. Now that you’re here, I just want to throw you against my jeep and do bad things to you. That’s too much, huh?” he stopped, “I’m pretty sure we have an audience,” he glanced over my shoulder. I quickly snuck a peek and saw the curtains in the window fall at my house.
“What do they think we are gonna do, make out right here? Sheesh.” I shook my head in disbelief.
He lowered his voice even more as he leaned closer to me, “I can’t wait to be alone with you, and pick up where we left off last night.” He quickly kissed my cheek and then turned back to his jeep, pushing the towel in circles as he dried the side. I blushed slightly as I stepped away from the jeep so he could finish.
“See you later, Chance.” With that, I headed home.
I sat on my bed tossing my phone back and forth in my hands.
Suddenly, my phone rang. It startled me and I dropped it on the floor. I watched it move on the floor as it rang and vibrated. I quickly reached down and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I am on my way home, what are you doing?” it was Chance.
“Just sitting here…nothing really,” I replied
“Do you want to go to the lake?”
“I guess.” I shrugged.
“Okay, cool. Meet me out front in like 15 minutes or so, okay?”
“Okay.” I replied and then I heard a click. He had already hung up.
I quickly ran a brush through my hair and pulled it into a quick bun. I grabbed my favorite hoodie and jogged down the stairs.
“Where are you going?” my mother called from the living room as my hand grabbed the door handle.
“With Chance. Just hanging out,” I yelled as I swung the door open.
“Not too late, sweetie, okay?”
“Yes Ma’am,” I answered as I pulled the door shut behind me.
I smiled when I saw the jeep in my driveway. I quickly jogged to his vehicle and hopped into the passenger seat. I turned to Chance and grinned. He reached over and quickly kissed my cheek and held my hand as he drove into the night.
We passed the lake and he kept driving. His face was focused and he had not said a word the whole ride. He was beginning to make me anxious, as if something was wrong.
Finally, he made it to the cliffs above the lake. The cliffs over looked the lake and the town. The views were breathtaking and many people made the trip up that way to go hiking or parking. I had a feeling that a trek through the woods was not on the agenda.
He pulled onto a winding path and found a place to park. Finally, he turned off the ignition and sat looking over the cliff into the night. He cleared his throat and continued to look ahead. I became a bit uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong, Chance?” I initiated conversation as I stroked the top of his hand.
“I was just thinking…about us,” he started.
“Like what?”
He turned to me and I knew.
“Sex?”
“Sonny, I don’t want you to think that I’m just this sex obsessed teenager, but it is on my mind. A lot. I’ve had a lot of girls throw themselves at me, but I wasn’t ready. It’s different with you. I’m beyond ready.”
“You know I feel the same way. Kinda. But now, ever since I had brunch with my mother, she’s got me scared that I’ll get knocked up or something.”
“You told your mom about us?!”
“No. I just…had questions and then she brought up your mom and getting pregnant with Drew.”
“I get that. I’m scared too,” he said looking out the windshield into the night. He gently grabbed my hand and pulled me into his side. I looked up
to him and kissed him softly on the cheek.
“Maybe, we can try other stuff...” he suggested.
“Like…other…sexual stuff?” I swallowed hard.
“Have you ever done other stuff?”
“Chance, seriously, who would I even do those things with?”
“Well, I know that Maggie is a pretty popular girl, if you know what I mean. I guess I thought you had at least messed around with another guy from going out with her all the time or something.”
“No. No one else. I’ve barely ever kissed anyone else.”
“Oh.” He got quiet again.
“Is that bad?” I asked worried. He grinned.
“No. Not at all. We’ll go slow,” he leaned forward and kissed me deeply, letting his hands wander under my shirt. After moving his hands over my breasts, he gently guided my hand to the zipper of his pants. After opening his zipper and pushing his briefs out of the way, he moved his hand over mine.
“Like this,” he whispered into my mouth. I followed his lead and he moaned as I moved my hand with his. Eventually he let his hand drop, leaving me in charge.
“Yessss….” He hissed in approval as he dropped his head back on his seat.
He adjusted himself and pulled his pants back into place. He used his undershirt to clean himself up and then tossed it to the backseat.
“Gross,” I scrunched my nose. He chuckled as he started the jeep.
“I’ll throw it away,” he assured me as he kissed my hand and continued to hold it as he pulled out of our spot.
It was another “first.”
Chapter 7
I felt my mother’s eyes on me the minute I walked in the front door that night. It’s like a mother always knows. It was either that, or I was paranoid that she would find out about Chance and I.
Even the next day, I could tell she wanted to find out what was going on, but she just kept folding the laundry and shooting me glances as I sat on the couch across from her and flipped through the channels.
