Jason laughed. “In general, or especially regarding this sort of appointment?”
“Both.”
“Well, keep me posted on Sandra then, yeah?”
“Sure, but you need to stop living vicariously through me when it comes to women, J. You ought to get your arse on the market.”
“There’s no time for it.”
“You sound just like Sandra now.”
“Well, shit. Suppose it’s a curse haunting every med student.”
“At least you retain the decency not to fuck around.”
When I heard the sound of chairs moving across the floor, I dashed towards my bedroom door to close it before either of them could round the corner and notice, and I’d barely managed to retreat a few steps by the time there was a knock at my door.
“Yes?”
It was William who had knocked, and when our stares collided, I wondered if he could tell that I’d overheard every last word while he’d confided in Jason. From the piercing power of his gaze, I got the impression he knew, but since his lips formed a brooding line, I wasn’t certain. If he truly suspected me of having heard him, I would have expected him to present his typical crooked smile, as its cunning shape would reveal that it had never been unintended.
“I see you’re nearly done,” he said, relieving me of his attention to instead observe my new wardrobe.
I nodded. “Only the doors left.”
“Good work.”
“Thanks.”
His eyes zoomed in on my bed then, and without asking, he walked in to approach it. Frowning, I followed him with my gaze and watched him lift my textbook in Advanced Contract Law from my bed.
“If it isn’t Contract Law,” he murmured to himself while he flipped through the pages. “I selected this module in my third year as well.”
“Did you?”
He nodded, but his attention remained fixed on a page. “Which modules are you taking, exactly?” he asked then.
“Advanced Contract Law, Company Law, Commercial Law and Law of Taxation.”
“Private law is your forte, I hear.”
“Of course. That’s why I should fit right in at Day & Night.”
He glanced up then, and the smile he offered was small but sincere. “You certainly will.” He shut the book and dropped it on my bed. “Well, give me a bell if ever you need any help while you’re revising for your exams.”
“That’s very kind of you.”
“I’d be delighted to help you out in whatever way I can.” His statement triggered the memory of when he had insisted that he’d never get in the way of my education should I opt to give him a chance. He seemed to be recalling the same memory, as his gaze lingered on mine for a moment. “Anyway, just thought I’d say goodbye. I’m heading off. Good luck assembling the rest of your—” he paused to glance at the box containing my desk—“furniture.”
I returned his smile, even though I wasn’t quite comfortable knowing where he was headed. “Thanks for your help,” I said. “I’ll have you to thank if my wardrobe doesn’t collapse.”
He chuckled as he headed for the door. “Let me know if it does.”
“You know I won’t,” I playfully replied and trailed after him to see him out.
While Jason and I watched him slide on his shoes, the younger brother asked, “Sunday, then?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re coming for dinner on Sunday?” I asked, enthused.
“Well, yes, but I think Jason was referring to the gym,” William replied, eyes flickering to Jason’s while he grabbed his jacket.
“I was. Speaking of, how about you join us, Cara? You’re a gym rat just like us.”
“You lift?” William queried, surprised.
A chuckle slipped past my smirk. “Yeah.”
“Impressive. Too few women do.”
“I know. It’s a shame.”
Jason embarrassed me by suddenly declaring, “She mainly trains lower body, though. In fact, the result is that Cara’s bum is a magnet for attention, in the gym or otherwise. I’ve witnessed it first-hand.”
“Which is why I like to cover it up when I’m training,” I mumbled as blood sprinted to my cheeks.
A carnal memory flared in William’s eyes when they landed on me. “I’m sorry you’ve got to go to such measures in the first place.”
I shrugged. “Me too, but such is the way of the world.”
“So you’ll join, then?” Jason pushed, but I hesitated.
“Come on.” William grinned. “It’s important to work out when you’re revising for exams.”
Even though I knew I should avoid spending time with William whenever it was possible without raising suspicion, another part of me was eager for his company. Not only that, but I also felt I had to earn back some of the respect I’d lost after he’d caught me failing to assemble my wardrobe. I wanted him to find me competent because, for some ridiculous reason that I couldn’t quite understand yet, I wanted to impress him. Besides, it wasn’t like we’d be able to do much talking. We’d be there to train, not have tea.
Finally, my desire to see him again capsized my reason, so I said, “Okay. I’ll join.”
William’s grin broadened even further. “Looking forward to it. Sunday, then?” He opened the door.
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Have fun with Violet,” Jason said and gave him a wink.
Without looking at me, William murmured, “I’d rather it was Sandra, to be honest, but such is the way of the world.”
Shocked by his bold declaration, I barely managed to remain composed while he closed the door between us.
While reaching forward to lock it after him, Jason turned towards me. “I knew he’d like you.”
All I managed for a response was a faint smile, because my feelings were colliding into an unsolvable mess.
“I’m so glad you get on. Honestly,” Jason continued. “My two favourite people in the whole world. What a trio we’ll make.”
“Me too,” I replied, as I didn’t know what else to say. “Anyway, I should finish my project.” With that, I went back to my room without so much as a glance in his direction.
10
HUNT OF A LIFETIME
WILLIAM
One cannot choose with whom to fall in love. It is entirely primal and has been ruled by instincts as long as humankind has existed. Had I been a victim of the delusion that we had such a thing as free will, I would have believed that one could only choose whether to pursue or not. However, I was not. I knew full well that my reaction to her existence was embedded in my DNA, and that it was encoded in my genes that I would pursue her despite her rejection.
However, I was a strategic type of suitor – the calculating kind. Some would even say cunning. Unlike those who went straight for the kill, I preferred to lure my target into my web. In order to do that, I had to know my prey – how it operated, how it thought, how it could be seduced and finally overcome.
Indeed, the beginning of love is very much a hunt – thrilling, rapacious, and utterly instinctual. All at once, the brain and the body have turned towards one person, the senses have sharpened to perceive even the slightest sign of their existence.
However, when falling in love, one never realises in the very moment it happens. In retrospect, it’s easy to identify the moment which triggered the revelation, but one cannot recognise it in the exact moment when love first begins to manifest. Because of that, I was entirely unaware of just how profound my feelings were on the verge of becoming. In fact, as I glanced at her across the gym, I thought all I was guilty of was fleeting interest or a rude curiosity that was based on primitive, reproductive urges.
I hadn’t realised that the process had begun, that with each second that ticked by, I was losing my identity in hers, that my sense of self was slowly waning
to create room for her, in favour of her. Instead, I was under the impression that I was mainly looking to sway her mind to repair my bruised ego. I was bitter that she hadn’t found my offer sufficient enough, bitter that she had been able to remain sensible despite my ardent efforts to stir romanticisms in her, and I was bitter that she didn’t seem as preoccupied with me as I was with her.
I simply hadn’t grasped that how I reacted to her soft voice delivering sharp remarks was a sign of love manifesting, that her seductive eyes and the total fire they contained had instead lured me into their heat; nor did I, at the time, fathom the reason why I would gladly have made a fool of myself merely for the chance to hear her laugh.
Oblivious to the truth, I mistook genuine affection for an injured ego and assumed it was only my vanity that urged me to change her mind. I had no idea that it was the prelude to love. I was convinced that if I managed to change her verdict about us, I’d be able to exorcise her constant presence in my thoughts. I was aware it was a cynical motivation, but to spare my sanity, I considered it a necessary evil.
However, I was still contemplating which route to take in order to achieve my goal. Thus far, I had settled on the tactic of trying to befriend my foe, because if I did, I could perhaps locate her weakness and eventually strike it.
The trouble was that I’d never encountered an enemy quite so strong before. She seemed impossible to read, like she existed in a language entirely foreign to me. There was a mystery to her, like the suspense of a tale I’d never heard before and couldn’t predict the end of.
She was whole all on her own, and frankly, I admired her for that. She didn’t need anyone but herself, much less me. She wore her independence like armour, and it protected her to a fault. So then, how does one defeat an enemy boasting such a brilliant defence?
The Trojan way, I supposed. I’d have to trick her into letting me past her walls, and once inside, I’d make them crumble one by one until only she remained, stripped and humbled. Then, at last, my mind would be free of her – my ego restored.
Perhaps the extent of my determination should have encouraged me to suspect that something about my fascination with her was beyond the ordinary – had I truly not cared for her, then her rejection wouldn’t have injured me as badly as it had.
But I didn’t suspect. Instead, I’d gone blind and was desperately groping in the dark.
After a final pull-up, I released the bar and landed on my feet to glance behind me, but I was far from the only one to look in her direction. Jason hadn’t lied – she was indeed a magnet for attention. Had she been mine I might have enjoyed it, but she wasn’t.
While I knew she was perfectly capable of managing on her own, their hungry gazes still irritated me. From the little I’d learnt about her thus far, I was certain this was a far cry from the sort of attention she appreciated. Why else would she feel the need to cover up her derrière with that oversized black jumper whenever she did squats?
I also inferred a dimension of disrespect from their ogling. Her jumper might as well have been a sign begging her admirers to look away, and yet they all turned a blind eye to it and objectified her anyway. Quite frankly, I found their behaviour repulsive and uncivilised.
My contempt was further reinforced by my notion that they were unworthy of her. Even the role as a mere spectator of her brilliance was above what they deserved. Indeed, I regarded them as filthy crooks molesting their unwilling queen.
The awareness summoned a strange urge to protect her from their sexualising stares, so without further thought, I grabbed my bag and bottle of chalk to approach her. I hoped my presence by her side would intimidate at least some of the men to look away. Their eyes would avert for the wrong reason, but at least she’d be spared from their ogling for now.
“Eighty kilos – not bad,” I commended once I reached her.
“Just finished my last set,” she replied breathily, and I had to smile at the sight of her flushed face. She wasn’t holding back.
“So you won’t be needing the rack?”
“No.” She shook her head and wiped her forehead with her arm. “Dumbbell rows next.”
“I’ll take over this, then. Deadlifts.”
“I’ll help you remove the plates.”
“You can leave two of them on.” After giving her a nod of gratitude, I wondered what to say. It had been obvious from the moment she’d arrived with Jason that she was here to train, not chat. It was also plausible that she was deliberately trying to avoid me. However, that didn’t align with my goal, so I needed to stall her somehow.
“Did you finish assembling your furniture on Friday?” In my hurry, it was the only thing I had thought to say, but after hearing it, I wished I’d remained quiet instead. What a dry start to a conversation. I hoped she wouldn’t think me boring for that.
“My desk? Yes, I did.” She tilted her head and smiled, and the view was rather enchanting. “Thanks for helping me out.”
“Anytime. So your wardrobe still hasn’t collapsed, I take it?”
She chuckled and gave me a knowing look while she pulled a plate off the barbell. “Not yet. Did you have fun with Violet?”
Her bold question took me aback. Unsure of where to look, I gazed around and vaguely noted that Jason was watching us from the bench press area. Once I’d recovered from the surprise, I turned my attention back to her and scoured her eyes for any sign of resentment, but I discovered nothing. She looked perfectly unfazed.
I sensed my bitterness beginning to fester. It was obvious I’d meant nothing to her at all, and that I’d be flattering myself if I presumed anything else. There wasn’t a spark of envy in her, not a fragment of jealousy.
“Not quite as much fun as I would have had if it were you,” I shamelessly confessed, because I hoped to provoke a reaction from her.
But none came.
“Is she the partner you mentioned?” she queried while she removed the last plate.
I studied her intently. “Yeah. Why?”
“I’m surprised you’re comfortable sleeping with colleagues,” she explained, and I thought I detected a hint of resentment in her tone, or perhaps it was only wishful thinking on my part. In fact, it might well have been general disapproval, which would make sense in light of her stated reservations about sleeping with a colleague.
“I’m usually not, but I can make exceptions. Something to bear in mind.” My tone had been playful, but we both knew I’d meant it, which was why she didn’t reply with anything other than a scoff.
At that moment, I wondered again whether she had overheard my conversation with Jason the other day. I’d meant for her to hear it, but I wasn’t sure she actually had. The door had been closed before I’d knocked, and I knew she’d been listening to music. If she had, I wondered what she was thinking. That Jason had decided to interrogate me so thoroughly about my recent sexual endeavours wasn’t something I’d anticipated, so I’d tried to shine a light on the fact that I’d much prefer to spend time with her than them. However, her favour still seemed far from my reach, so now I doubted she had eavesdropped at all.
“Impressive weights you’re doing,” I remarked to help myself think of something else. “I saw you hip-thrusting two hundred kgs earlier.”
She gave me a complacent smirk. “Scared I’ll put you out of business?”
Her cheek never failed to entertain me, but she always seemed to forget that I was rather a proficient player in that game myself. “We both know I’m a capable thruster. I can still hear you moaning my name in my sleep. Quite the melody, that was.” I hadn’t been able to resist. There was something about teasing her that felt entirely necessary. She reminded me of an angry chipmunk whenever I flustered her, because her voice reached octaves so high that it frankly impressed me – and amused me.
Her mouth dropped open at once, and the fresh colour in her face contended with even the brightest
of reds.
“You!” she spluttered, high-pitched, as predicted. “How dare you speak to me like that?” she continued, glorious in her anger.
I was sure my grin matched the Devil’s. “It was only a joke, Cara. Just taking the piss while I still can. Can’t be doing it once you start work now, can I?”
“You shouldn’t be doing it now, either!” she insisted in a harsh whisper, clearly irate, and I noticed her hands had curled into fists by her sides. Alas, her anger didn’t intimidate me in the slightest. On the contrary, it tempted me to continue.
“But you look so lovely with that colour in your cheeks – especially since I’m the one who put it there.”
“You are unbelievable.” She’d sounded despairing, and I realised I’d shot myself in the foot when she undid the belt around her waist, grabbed her bag and stormed off. As I gazed after her, I caught Jason in my peripheral vision, and once I looked over, he shook his head at me.
“Don’t be a dick, Will!” he shouted across the gym, which earned us some curious glances from the few not listening to their own music.
I didn’t bother replying.
§ § §
In the changing rooms, I was facing my locker when Jason inquired, “What did you say to Cara earlier?”
“Nothing really.”
“Didn’t seem like nothing.”
“Made a bad joke, that’s all.”
“About what?”
“Nothing I’d like to repeat. I mean to apologise.”
“You should.”
After a glance in his direction, I gave a faint nod and reached into my locker for my shirt.
“Were you flirting with her?” he asked me then, but since I had expected the question, my equilibrium remained intact.
“No,” I said with ease, but what I actually wanted was to tell the truth. In fact, I wanted to tell every single person in this room – the whole fucking world – that I’d slept with her, only so that I could deprive her of the excuse – the poor and pathetic excuse – which was but one among the several ridiculous excuses she had used to reject me. At least then, I’d have been one step closer to achieving my goal – she would no longer have been able to hide behind the erroneous conviction that people would care about whom she invited into herself.
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 15
