“We’re working on it.”
“Meanwhile,” Jason chimed in, “I’m just minding my own business.” A chuckle followed his statement.
“You’ve certainly got a knack for it,” I agreed.
“How about you, dear?” Mum asked then, and from her gaze, I could tell her question was directed at Cara. “Have you got a special man in your life?”
I hadn’t expected my stomach to sink the way it did when Jason wrapped his arm around her chair as if to mark his territory. “Only me,” he joked and gave her a wink.
“Yes, only you,” the target of my fascination replied while reaching for her glass of wine. “But on a serious note, I’m afraid not. I’m committed to my studies, and that’s all I’m interested in maintaining at the moment.”
The reminder irritated me. Hadn’t I heard her pathetic excuses enough times by now? Would I ever see the day when she wouldn’t rub them in my face?
“I’m sure a lot of men are very upset about that,” Dad flattered her, amused. If only he knew he’d mocked his own son while he was at it.
As if his statement had prompted her, Cara’s eyes slid briefly in my direction, but she averted them as soon as they collided with mine.
“I hardly think they’re missing out on anything,” she answered, and I was surprised by her humility. Did she not know the extent of her power? How effortlessly she rendered men senseless with lust? How far they would go for a mere second of her time?
“I’m really quite boring,” she continued. “They’d grow impatient with my thirst for knowledge rather quickly, I expect, as it would probably come at the expense of their ego.”
Dad leaned back, and I could tell from his gaze that her reply had intrigued him. “With all due respect, dear,” he said, “I think you underestimate men – the decent ones, at least. In fact, I’m sure that spirit of yours is precisely what would attract your admirers in the first place.”
I almost said, ‘thank you,’ since he’d spoken my mind, but I resisted because it would have exposed our secret.
A smile surfaced on her plump lips before she replied, “I hope you’re right.”
“He’s most certainly right,” Jason insisted with a shake of his head. “You’re remarkable, and you ought to know it.”
His confidence led me to focus on my dish, because I suddenly couldn’t stand the sight of him. Since I’d experienced it before – although never quite so intensely – I recognised jealousy when it unfurled within me, but never had my own brother been the target of it.
When I’d arrived here, I hadn’t expected to feel this rigidity, much less this momentary resentment towards my brother which, if left untreated, could easily fester. Their familiarity triggered my envy because I yearned to know her like that. I envied him for having the freedom to wrap his arm around her shoulders without her shying away from his touch, and I envied him for having constant access to the enigmatic alleys of her mind.
While he’d told me that he didn’t fancy her that way, he was still a man. He’d have to be blind, deaf and lack a cock not to feel even the slightest twitch in his pants around her. He might not view her in a romantic light, but I had no guarantee he wouldn’t ever consider her in a sexual light. A couple of pints in, he could easily make the mistake. He’d done it before with my friend Harper.
Did I really have to count on Cara to retain the decency not to play us for fools? Did she even care about us being brothers? I knew she cared for Jason, but it wasn’t with ease that I relied on her to do the decent thing. The impression I had was that she was perfectly – if not too – capable of separating sex from feelings. In light of that, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she could sleep with Jason without giving further thought to it – unless he forced her to.
It was reasonable that I would experience discomfort at the thought of Jason entering her the same way I had, but what didn’t make sense was my jealousy. Why did I yearn so desperately for her innermost secrets, for her body to invite my caress? And why did it bother me that other men could have the pleasure?
Resorting to silence, I continued along that train of thought for quite some time until the reality dawned on me all at once, and I was struck with a revelation. This wasn’t mere lust. This wasn’t a quest to restore a bruised ego.
I had fallen in love.
Under any other circumstances, I would have enjoyed the revelation, but since I knew Cara was nowhere near reciprocating my affections, I was instead rather upset.
“He’s signed out,” I vaguely heard Jason say just before Mum called for what I realised was the third time, “William, darling. Hello?”
Like a deer caught in the headlights, I looked up.
“Christ. Are you quite alright, darling?” she queried worriedly, and I found it somewhat humiliating. Then again, I supposed that, to her, I’d always be no older than a boy. “You’re as white as a sheet.”
“What is it?”
“I wondered if you could fetch us another bottle of wine.”
Grateful for the chance to escape the table, I pushed my chair out and stood. “Ripasso?”
“That’ll do.”
“He’s been acting weird all day,” I heard Jason comment as I left.
“Well, he’s got a lot on his plate at work,” Dad justified. “The transaction he’s working on between GreenPark and Lightning Charge is a considerable one. GreenPark has got one of the largest networks of charging points for electric vehicles in the UK. Lightning Charge has been one of their competitors. You can imagine there’s lots to go over and consider to ensure that the transaction happens smoothly and that the acquisition won’t breach competition law – and I know Fred’s pushing him hard.”
While I appreciated his excuse, it was far from the truth. The transaction was indeed a considerable one, but unlike my feelings, I had it under control.
As I reached into the wine fridge for my mother’s favourite Ripasso by Tommasi, I sighed to myself.
This was quite the conundrum. Given Cara’s convictions, I doubted I stood any chance at all of earning her affections.
It didn’t help that she commanded the attention of every man present wherever she went. It was only a matter of time before my successor would come knocking on her door. In fact, it was obvious that even Dad had fallen victim to her charm. So why should she favour me? It was clear our circumstances stopped her from entertaining even the thought of me, especially romantically.
Part of me wondered whether she would have been more amenable had I not been her flatmate’s brother and her future boss. At the same time, I knew I could never offer her anything else. These were simply the cards I’d been dealt, but I paused to wonder: could I still win with them?
I frowned to myself as I reminisced about our night together. She’d told me then that she considered me ‘boyfriend material’. Surely she must have meant I possessed qualities she deemed desirable in a lover? So my personality wasn’t the issue. Our incompatibility wasn’t based on a difference of character, but rather on exterior factors, such as my future role as her boss, and my role as her best friend’s brother. But surely those things could be overcome?
However, there was also Aaron to consider.
The moment I thought of him, my jealousy found another target, because her reasoning didn’t make any sense. She’d told me she didn’t harbour romantic feelings for him, that he might as well ‘be air’ to her. However, I now suspected her of having lied, because nothing else could explain her desire to remain with him when she could instead have reserved that time for me. No one was that rational. No one had that much self-discipline. If she truly liked me as much as she claimed, if I were truly ‘boyfriend material’, then surely she’d have chosen me over him.
As I continued to consider the possibilities, it occurred to me that it might well have been a lie she told herself, and thereby me, because she was i
n fact scared that Aaron would reject her – a defence mechanism, of sorts. Perhaps she actually loved him.
But that didn’t explain why she had described me as ‘boyfriend material’. Unless she had no conscience to speak of, it seemed too genuine a statement to be a lie. Had she told me that merely to shut me up? It would be a questionable method, but then again, it had worked at the time.
Delving deeper into thought, I recounted the scene in my office when she had signed her contract. The memory of her hand within mine remained particularly vivid because she hadn’t shied away from my touch. On the contrary, I’d been under the impression she had welcomed the intimacy. Moments before that, she had confessed she was guilty of sexualising me as well.
Perhaps I did stand a chance after all. The question remaining was how. How could I make her see that I’d be worth risking her attention for?
I realised then that it was only my motive that had changed. I no longer sought to tear down her walls merely to humble her and retaliate for a bruised ego. Instead, I now sought to tear down her walls solely to earn her affections. My strategy would therefore remain the same. I’d need to befriend her before anything else, and since the strength of her convictions was considerable, I expected the process would require patience. Fortunately, I boasted quite a lot of grit, and I would rely on that to ensure her eventual surrender.
I was hatching the details of my plan as I returned to the table, and once I arrived, I could tell from the others’ expressions that my smirk puzzled them.
“That’s a different man to the one who left,” Jason commented with a raised brow.
“I had a word with myself,” I explained and walked over to where Mum sat while I opened the bottle to pour her a glass.
“Thank you, darling,” she said and gave my back a fond caress.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such terrible company,” I apologised and looked straight at Cara. “Had to solve a puzzle – that’s all.”
I thought I detected a flicker of trepidation in her eyes, but she looked away before I could be sure.
“Work-related?” Dad queried.
“Yes,” I lied. “Anyway, I’m handling it.”
“You always do.”
Like I’d said, one can never choose with whom to fall in love. Now that I’d been struck, all I could do was gear up for the hunt – of a lifetime.
11
FRIENDS
Cara
Tuesday morning, I woke at eight and dragged my weary body out of bed to have a shower. My first exam, which was in Advanced Contract Law, was coming up on Friday, so I’d reserved every weekday till then for revising. Since Jason started work at two this week, I would have the flat mainly to myself, so I had invited Aaron and Livy over.
They wouldn’t arrive till ten, however, and I was grateful for that because I was a fire-breathing dragon straight after waking, so I would’ve incinerated them in a heartbeat had they been here already. They both had first-hand experience with that idiosyncrasy of mine, so I supposed that was why they had suggested we meet at ten and that I should wake up at eight.
Half an hour later, I was sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and reading the news on my iPad, when Jason walked past the open door. As expected, he hadn’t bothered to put on a pair of boxers but instead covered his member with his hand.
“Morning,” he murmured groggily, and I could tell from his hair that he’d just removed the eye mask he always wore to sleep. In fact, that was the only thing he wore while asleep, and I’d learnt that last summer when we had spent a week at his family’s holiday house on the Isle of Wight.
“Morning,” I replied and smiled at the sight of his taut bum before he disappeared from my view on his way to the bathroom. Men – in my experience – often had better arses than women, and it was something I frequently envied them for. Jason didn’t train his lower body half as much as I did, but judging from his derrière, it looked like he trained nothing else. Aaron was no exception, either.
An outsider would perhaps have found it strange that Jason didn’t mind if I saw him naked, but the truth was that Jason was a bit of a naturist, and I was no different. To him, the naked body was the most natural thing in the world and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. Given his course of study, I supposed he had a rather clinical perspective on the matter, and I happened to share his view. Even so, I tended to cover up more often than he did, but I was rarely bothered if anyone caught me naked.
The fact that Jason and I had seen each other without clothes countless times was in fact something I appreciated, because it had led me to feel even more comfortable around him. Never during the three years we had known each other had he made me feel sexualised when he’d seen me undressed, and never had I felt at all judged for my appearance. On the contrary, his behaviour around my nude body had assured me his interest was strictly platonic.
I was aware it was unusual for two friends – especially of different genders – to frequently see each other stripped. Still, I couldn’t fathom why that should matter when it had made me feel more comfortable in his presence than I otherwise would have thought possible. Somehow, our deviation from the norm had made me feel accepted in my entirety by him, and that was one of the reasons why I assumed his friendship was unconditional. Just like him, I knew I would treasure him as my most cherished friend till the end of my days because we were, quite simply, mind-mates.
I also happened to prize friendship over romantic relationships, and I supposed it had to do with the longevity of each concept. Most friendships could last a lifetime, and the unconditional aspect was something I found particularly inviting. In my limited experience, romantic love was complicated where friendship was not. Relationships also seemed to die more easily, and frequently, than friendships did.
Generally, however, relationships were something I struggled with because I had never been blessed with the ability to grow easily attached to people. I had very few, but very good, friends. I had plenty of people I considered acquaintances, though. While they regarded me as a friend, I couldn’t return the favour. To me, ‘friend’ was an extremely precious title, as well as status, which I reserved for only a select few. In the few years I’d known him, Jason had somehow managed to climb to the top of that ladder.
For that reason, I imagined a prospective boyfriend would need to exceed my expectations of true friendship. He’d need to surpass even Jason, and frankly, I didn’t think anyone ever could.
“When are Aaron and Livy coming over?” Jason queried upon his return from the bathroom. A towel was wrapped around his hips now. After dragging a hand through his damp hair, he approached the Nespresso machine to make himself a cup of coffee.
“Ten.”
He nodded. “I haven’t seen Livy for ages – not since she split from Colin.”
“Yeah, she became a bit of a recluse while she licked her wounds. She’s over him now, though, so you’ll probably see her more often – especially now that we live together.”
“She’s over Colin?” He turned towards me. “Proper over?”
I reached for my cup of coffee. “I think so. Seems like it. She hardly ever talks about him anymore.”
Jason faced away to grab his fresh brew. “Good for her. That bastard never deserved her in the first place.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to it. I’ve always liked her. I think she’s my favourite out of your friends.”
I smiled. Olivia was indeed adorable, and I’d always been thankful for her presence in my life even though we were quite different personality-wise. However, we’d known each other since we were only three, so our difference in temperament was something we’d learnt to appreciate over the years. She’d been my partner in crime for as long as I could remember, and because our ambitions had always correlated, we’d helped each other prosper. Our biggest difference in characte
r was that Olivia was a hopeless romantic while I was more of a realist.
“She’s fond of you too,” I said.
“Is she?”
“Isn’t everyone?”
He chuckled. “You flatter me.”
“Just stating my view.”
“Which is ever flattering.”
§ § §
We’d been revising for nearly an hour when I received a call from Dad. To avoid disturbing Olivia and Aaron, I walked into my room before answering it. He mainly wondered how I was doing and whether I felt ready for my exams, so I complained about how stressed I was for a few minutes before he asked me to come for dinner on Friday. I declined because Mary-Anne, Aaron’s mother, had already invited me, so we agreed on Saturday instead.
After hanging up, I stayed in my room to check my social media accounts, and Instagram had quite the surprise in store. I discovered a message request from none other than William Night, and it shocked me. It contained a meme of Leonardo DiCaprio biting on his fist from the film The Wolf of Wall Street with the text, ‘When you see her loading up the barbell with forty-fives.’
I had to laugh. Of course he would opt for nothing less than a grand entrance. However, despite his impeccable humour, I didn’t immediately accept. My first instinct was to decline, because I wanted to avoid interacting with him as much as possible. However, I couldn’t deny the gross level of curiosity I experienced. It was further reinforced as soon as I clicked on his profile because it was of course private, so stalking it brought me no satisfaction. I’d have to follow him if I meant to have a peek, but my pride wouldn’t let me, so I returned to his message request with some disappointment.
I’d already acknowledged that I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, so accepting his request would mean speeding towards my potential doom. Had I learnt nothing from the mistakes of Icarus? Was I really going to fly too close to the sun?
Collapsing onto my bed, I contemplated my options, and as I did, I wondered why he’d wanted to contact me at all. A demon whispered in my mind that I ought to accept, if only to uncover his motive. Besides, if he proved troublesome, I could always block him.
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 17
