“You look well funny after you come, Cara,” he teased while his mouth climbed up my stomach. After hungrily sucking my left nipple, he pushed himself up to grin down at me.
“Funny how?”
“You look high.”
“Well, that’s how I feel.”
“Good,” he said with a chuckle and dived for my lips. I could taste myself in his mouth, but I’d never minded the flavour. It was faintly salted, was all – neutral and natural.
Reaching between us, I grabbed his member to align it with my entrance, and as I teased myself with the tip of him, I delighted in how wet I was. Starving for more of him, I directed my eyes to his with a lewd smile.
“Don’t be mean,” he scolded. “You know I lose my head when you smile like that.”
“Yeah? Which head?”
Growling, he thrust harshly into me, successfully repressing my sassiness. “Both,” he purred and lowered his head to trail ravenous kisses down my pulse. It drummed for him, begging for more of his gratifying treatment. After a gentle retreat, he charged forward again, and he knew exactly where to strike.
“Ah,” I groaned and clasped his head to bring his mouth back to mine, but his smile interfered with our kiss.
“Stop smiling, idiot.”
Pulling away, he laughed and nuzzled my nose with his. “Sorry, I can’t help it. I’m enjoying myself too much, as well as curbing your attitude.”
“Attitude?”
“You heard me.”
I smirked. “Whatever gets you off, I suppose.”
“You do,” he declared and demanded my mouth again, but all of a sudden, he pulled away. “Would you like to do it with your vibrator this time around? You loved it last time.”
Sometimes, I was certain we sounded like a married couple, and in many ways, we often acted like one. We were so familiar and comfortable with each other that questions that might otherwise have seemed odd were now perfectly normal. All that we lacked were romantic feelings. Then again, I reckoned plenty of marriages were guilty of losing their spark a few years down the road, when they inevitably started to take their partner for granted.
“Nah, I’m good with you,” I replied with a shrug.
“Alright,” he said and pushed into me again, and he reached so fucking deep.
“Oh my God,” I wheezed out and smothered him against me. Pushing back against my legs as they pressed him to me, he retreated only to plough into me again, his thrusts slow but hard. I rarely felt so devoured.
A few minutes later, I was moaning nonstop as I closed in on my second peak, but a sudden slam made us both freeze before I could reach it. It had sounded like something had either fallen or broken. For a split second, we stared at each other, stunned.
“What was that?” I whispered, frightened.
Aaron was the first to break out of his paralysis. While hastily withdrawing from within me, he suggested, “Jason?”
“Hello?” I called and heard subtle swearing outside my bedroom door.
“Aaron!” I whispered harshly when I saw he was recklessly approaching the door. “It could be a burglar!” I warned in another whisper. “Did we lock the door?”
Responding to my concern, he proceeded to lock it and gave me look of derision. While my heart pumped fresh adrenaline into my bloodstream, I gripped the duvet to cover my nudity.
“Who’s there?” Aaron demanded and lingered by the door while I searched for my phone in case I had to call 999. Fear made my heart contract when I recalled that it was in my bag, which was still in the hallway outside. What were we supposed to do now? Open a window and call for the neighbours?
“I… It’s Will, Jason’s brother.”
Even though it was barely audible, I recognised his voice immediately. Air stormed out of my mouth as if I’d just been punched in the gut. How long had he been outside? Had he heard us?
This was the last thing I’d anticipated, so I had no idea at all of how to handle the amount of guilt I instantaneously experienced. What was he doing here?
“Cara?” Aaron prompted, awaiting my verdict.
“William?” I called, but since I was completely shocked at his presence, I was acting on autopilot.
“Sorry,” he replied, and his voice was a little louder now, but the tone of it penetrated my heart like a blade. He’d sounded so defeated.
Seeming to realise the absence of danger, Aaron bent to recover his boxers from the floor, and after pulling them on, he reached for the door.
“Aaron!” I cried impulsively because I hadn’t been prepared for them to meet, especially not like this. Moreover, I didn’t want him to walk out wearing only his boxers when it would essentially mean rubbing our arrangement in William’s face.
“What?”
“Get dressed first,” I insisted.
He frowned. “My shirt’s outside.” With that, he unlocked the door and opened it. “Shit,” he uttered at once, and I could tell from the look on his face that the view was chaotic.
“Sorry about this. Knocked it over by accident,” I heard William murmur.
Seized by panic, I stormed out of bed and grabbed my nightgown from my desk chair. I wrapped myself in the black satin before I stalked towards the door to observe their encounter.
Peeking past Aaron’s broad shoulder, I saw that the coat stand had fallen over, and it had brought the shoe cabinet with it. As I continued to assess the damage, I wondered how on earth this was even possible to manage through mere physical laws. The coat stand I could understand, as it could overbalance, but the shoe cabinet? Was the coat stand even heavy enough to tilt it over?
Without concluding my speculations, I bent to help William clean up the mess.
“I wasn’t aware you were coming,” I said while I tossed Aaron’s shirt to him, and I hoped he heard the apology disguised within my statement.
Without looking at me, he grabbed the shoe cabinet to lift it back up. “Arrived just now,” he murmured. “Chelsea’s playing at half four, and I didn’t want to miss it even though Jason won’t be here till sometime after five. I sent you a message to warn you, but I suppose you haven’t seen it.”
“I haven’t checked my messages since last night,” I replied and struggled to hide my distress. It dawned on me then that I would need to keep tabs on whenever Chelsea was playing so that I could avoid another incident like this in the future.
“So you’re Jason’s brother,” Aaron said then. “Suppose that also makes you Cara’s future boss. I’m Aaron, by the way.”
My eyes darted to William to observe his reaction, and I could tell from his delayed response that he was reluctant even to acknowledge him. After a moment’s hesitation, he directed his attention to him and nodded vaguely. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Aaron chuckled. “Never mind that. Happens to the best of us. Bit awkward for Cara, though, since you’re going to be her boss.”
“Thanks for the reminder, Aaron,” I muttered. “Awkward hardly covers it.”
“It’s past half four now,” he told William after glancing at his wristwatch. “Don’t worry about this. Cara and I can clean up.”
“Thanks, but I was taught to clean up my own mess.”
“Right. Decent parenting. I’ll find the match on the TV for you, then. I’d like to see it too, as it happens. They’re playing against Liverpool, and that’s my team.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as he’d disappeared around the corner to enter the living room, I searched for William’s eyes, but from his elusive demeanour, I could tell he was deliberately refusing me the satisfaction of finding them.
“I’m sorry,” I said, but he didn’t reply. Instead, he merely reached for my beige coat, which had fallen to the floor along with the coat stand, and once he lifted it, we both froze for a moment. Underneath it lay the knickers I’d wo
rn today.
“Fuck,” I cursed and snatched them off the floor to tuck them into my palm.
“I’m leaving,” he said without looking at me and reached for the door. “I’ll tell Jason I went home instead.”
His decision struck me like a cannonball to the chest. A sharp breath escaped and I stared at him. I’d obviously hurt him, and for a moment, I hated myself for it.
“I thought you wanted to be friends.” I murmured it quietly so that Aaron wouldn’t hear. “Surely this shouldn’t matter if friendship is all you want?”
Finally, he met my eyes, and the crestfallen expression in his clawed viciously at my chest. “I thought I could manage it,” he explained. “But as soon as I heard you – as soon as I saw this—” he motioned towards my clothes on the floor—“I realised I can’t. It’s impossible – I’m sorry.”
Without further ado, he opened the door and left.
Trying to process what had just happened, I stared at the door for a while after he’d closed it. He had actually heard us. Immediately, I felt nauseous on his behalf.
“Liverpool’s in the lead,” Aaron said. “Er, where’s he gone?”
After drawing in a composing breath, I turned to face him. “He felt too awkward to stay.”
Aaron grimaced. “Shit. Really?”
“Really.”
He walked up to tilt my head back. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly and placed a kiss upon my forehead.
I swallowed. “I’m actually feeling a bit weird. That was very uncomfortable.”
He wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. “I’m sure he just needs a minute, Cara. I hardly think this will pose a problem once you start work.”
While hugging him, I glanced at the shoe cabinet and surmised that it had never fallen by accident. It had been pushed deliberately, and it puzzled me. William wasn’t a violent person. He was cunning, however. As I considered it in that light, my eyes widened. He must have done it solely to guarantee an end to our session.
I had to give it to him – his methods were ironically discreet, but his genius hadn’t fooled me.
“I’m not really in the mood for sex anymore,” I told Aaron as I pulled away. “I’m sorry.”
He chuckled. “I’d be surprised if you were. Don’t worry about it. Shall we watch the match instead?”
He knew full well that I wasn’t one to watch football, but since it was better than the alternative of hanging out in my room with nothing to do but talk, I said, “Sure. I’d like a shower first, though.”
“I’ll just wait in the living room, then.”
Half-time was just over when Jason stormed through the front door to find us in the living room.
“Fuck,” he grumbled when he saw the score. “Not again. We can’t afford this! What the hell are they doing?” he moaned and gestured towards the screen.
“I’m having a great time,” Aaron replied, amused.
“Yeah, fuck you,” Jason said with a laugh and folded his arms. “By the way, heard you’ve had an awkward afternoon.”
I stiffened. “Will told you?”
“Yeah.”
Aaron sighed and reached over from where he was lying spread across the sofa to squeeze my thigh. “Yeah, it was proper awkward. I tried to pretend like it was nothing, but he left anyway.”
“Can’t say I blame him,” Jason murmured and walked over to claim the spot beside me, which forced Aaron to move his arm. “You’ve had her all day,” he joked. “My turn.”
I hadn’t thought anyone could manage it, but Jason’s comment actually left me grinning.
“Sharing is caring, I suppose,” Aaron replied, and when I glimpsed him, I could tell he was equally amused. That was something I’d always been grateful for: Aaron had never felt threatened by my friendship with Jason at all.
“Honestly, women smell so good,” Jason said and wrapped his arm around my neck to pull my damp hair under his nose. “So sweet – like dessert.”
Aaron burst into laughter, and the sound caught me. “How long has it been since you got laid, Jase?” he asked.
“A millennium,” Jason joked back.
“Your right hand must be growing sore by now,” Aaron remarked.
“You’ve no idea.”
§ § §
I was grateful that Jason had come home because it was chiefly him who had entertained Aaron after William’s abrupt arrival and departure. I hadn’t been in the mood for socialising at all since then and had been counting the seconds till Aaron would leave. Shortly before midnight, he did, and the first thing I did afterwards was head into my bedroom to check my Instagram.
When I saw that William had sent me a message like he’d said earlier today, my heart stilled in my chest. Very slowly, I found a seat on my bed and grimaced.
11:09
‘I’m coming over after work to watch Chelsea play. Hope your exam went well x’
Brilliant. A reminder of his kind and decent character was precisely what I needed right now. It might as well have been a slap to the face or a punch in the gut. I knew I’d hurt him, and the more I thought about it, the more it pained me to know. Eventually, tears welled in my eyes, but they never spilled over because I simply would not let them.
I was upset because I had hurt him, not because I felt I’d done something wrong. I owed him no fidelity – we weren’t even dating – and I hadn’t known he would be here. He could hardly hold it against me that I would enjoy Aaron in my own home the way he probably enjoyed Francesca, Violet and Kate in his. The only difference was that he had a key to my flat, but that came with the risk of walking in on scenes like these.
Either way, he shouldn’t have had to witness that. I couldn’t imagine how nauseous I would have felt had the roles been reversed – had I walked in on him and Violet, for example. There was something brutal about even just the idea; that sort of intimacy was unique, so to witness a person you had shared it with offer it to someone else, especially enthusiastically, seemed like a defilement.
After taking a composing breath, I focused on what to write to him. He hadn’t answered my apology earlier, but since he’d had a few hours to restore his equilibrium, perhaps he would now. Regardless, I wanted to apologise again to show that I had thought about this since so that he would know that it had sincerely bothered me.
‘I’m genuinely sorry you had to witness that. I don’t really know what else to say’
I hadn’t anticipated that he would see it immediately, but he did, so I sat there for quite some time, hoping to be told that he was typing a reply, but it never happened.
13
DEEP SEA
A pensive mood summarised my entire Friday. William had been active on Instagram several times without responding to my message, but I hadn’t expected anything else, because what was there to say? That I was forgiven? That would require something to forgive, but I had done nothing wrong, and he knew that as well as I did.
Since I didn’t want to be a nuisance, I hadn’t sent him anything else either. Nevertheless, remaining focused on my exams was nearly impossible. While I no longer expected to hear from him and was finally free of that anxiety, it hadn’t been half as satisfying as I had hoped, because I was left with the feeling that he was keeping his distance for the wrong reason – he was avoiding me not to respect my boundaries but because I’d hurt him. It wasn’t impossible that he was staying silent to punish me for the pain I’d caused him. I understood his need for space, but what I didn’t understand was his total lack of a reply. A simple thumbs-up would have sufficed.
I had no idea of what was currently running through his mind, but thinking about it got me no further. I sat on all the questions while he sat on all the answers, and since we weren’t speaking, I doubted I’d ever know them.
Ultimately, I was unable to appreciate the revelation th
at he hadn’t been able to friend-zone me either. While my ego was restored, it was no victory in the grand scheme of things. I’d hurt a person I had started to care for, and that was nothing to celebrate. Truthfully, I worried he would only despise me from now on.
By Saturday, I’d been able to work through some of my feelings, which had enabled me to revise for most of the day. Still, he disturbed my thoughts more than I appreciated, but at least I was able to be somewhat productive.
It was nearing six o’clock when I heard Stephen and Jonathan enter through the front door. They had been there the first time I had met Jason at the pub three years ago, and I’d grasped early on that they were a trio that had lasted since childhood. Stephen was the one who had lived here with Jason before I’d moved in.
“Hiya,” Jason greeted them. “Don’t tell me you forgot the sushi.”
“I haven’t got a death wish,” Jon replied. “You ready to get robbed tonight?”
I assumed he was referring to the lads’ night they made time for once a month. ‘Poker night’, they always called it. I had been aware of that tradition of theirs for several years, but it wasn’t until this morning that I had registered that William was a regular participant. The same applied to his friend Andy from work, and another man named Alexander. Apparently, William, Andy and Alex were also a trio alongside Jason, Stephen and Jon. The six of them often interacted because of that, although Jason was supposedly an uncounted member of William’s group as well.
Sensing that there was about to be some activity outside, I reached for my noise-cancelling headset since I required silence to remain focused. They’d been covering my ears for no more than ten minutes when my chair was suddenly pulled back. Next thing I knew, I was dangling from Jon’s shoulder while I rushed to save my headset from falling to the floor.
“Oh my God!” I shouted. “Put me down! Immediately! I’m revising!”
All three of them guffawed at the frantic motion of my arms, and it increased in volume when I proceeded to spank Jon’s arse.
“Jon! Put me down!”
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 20
