Naysmith suppressed a shudder of excitement and turned to look out at the shoppers browsing among the tabletop market vendors outside.
‘Choose someone,’ he said softly. ‘Anyone you want …’
He swallowed again, willing his muscles to relax.
‘… then let’s see what you can tell me about them just from looking.’
A smile spread across Kim’s face.
‘Right,’ she said, leaning across the table and sticking her tongue out at him. ‘You’re on.’
She turned to peer out of the window.
Naysmith leaned back, watching her concentrate. She was going to do it. She didn’t understand it yet, but she was going to become a part of what he did. He felt a shiver of warmth course up through his body. It was so audacious, exceeding his wildest expectations – there was truly nothing that he couldn’t do.
‘How about her?’ Kim was staring outside thoughtfully. ‘The woman over there by the cheese table?’
Naysmith allowed himself a little shiver of delight. Previously, he’d always allowed Fate to choose for him. Now, he leaned forward to see who Kim was looking at.
‘Her?’ he asked.
An overweight woman in her forties, maybe five foot six, with a jolly-looking face and shoulder-length wavy hair dyed black. A deep lilac jacket was draped about her plump body, which tapered down through tight black leggings to a pair of tiny feet, giving the impression that she might topple over at any moment. Her round face creased into a broad grin as she chatted with the market trader, revealing a puffy, double chin.
He smiled as Kim nodded.
‘All right,’ he said slowly. ‘So, what can you tell me about her?’
‘Well,’ Kim thought for a moment. ‘She’s about forty-five or so, larger figure … looks as though she uses a tanning salon.’
‘Very good,’ Naysmith mused, noting the tanned complexion. ‘Is she married or single?’
Kim scrunched up her face a little as she peered outside.
‘It’s difficult to see,’ she frowned. ‘I think there’s a ring on her finger though.’
It was smaller than her other jewellery, probably a wedding ring, but impossible to be sure from this distance.
‘OK.’ He gazed out through the glass. ‘Is she well off or is money tight for her?’
Kim pondered the question for a moment.
‘Well, her handbag looks expensive. And her shoes. Yes, I think she has money.’
‘And yet that shopping bag doesn’t look new at all.’
He indicated the woman’s large canvas bag, a faded logo with the word Chocolate printed below it.
‘Maybe …’ Kim hesitated, then shrugged. ‘Maybe it’s not her bag. I don’t know.’
Naysmith inclined his head towards her in acknowledgement.
‘All right,’ he mused. ‘What would you say she does for a living?’
Kim sat back and folded her arms.
‘Honestly, I haven’t got a clue.’ She looked at him cheekily. ‘Shall I run outside and ask her?’
‘No!’ That would ruin everything! Kim looked at him curiously, but he controlled his voice and continued in a more relaxed tone. ‘Just look at her and see if anything stands out.’
Kim stared for a moment then shrugged.
‘I don’t know … she’s wearing a chunky necklace, big earrings. A jeweller perhaps?’
Naysmith smiled and sipped his coffee.
‘Look at her hand.’
Kim leaned closer to the glass, craning to get a better view.
‘What about it?’
Naysmith put his cup down on the table.
‘See that blue sticking plaster on her finger?’ he asked. ‘That’s one of those health and safety ones you need to use if you work with food.’
Kim peered out and smiled.
‘Actually, she does kind of look as though she works with food.’ She giggled naughtily, then put her hand over her mouth. ‘Oh my, that was such a bitchy thing to say. You bring out the worst in me sometimes.’
Naysmith smiled at her.
‘I’d certainly like to think so,’ he murmured.
They studied the woman as she paid for her cheese and dropped her purchase into the canvas shopping bag. Naysmith frowned. Something about the way she did it, such a familiar motion … the bag must be hers after all. He studied the logo, trying to make out what was written around it – something Arcade – but the woman was turning away now. He took one last look at her, taking in each detail and fixing her appearance in his mind.
He never forgot a face.
Kim was looking at him when he turned back to the table.
‘Well?’ she asked.
‘Well what?’
‘I did what you wanted,’ she shrugged. ‘Aren’t you going to play the game?’
Naysmith picked up his coffee and drained it. Placing the empty cup down carefully between them, he reached across and took her small hands in his.
‘Don’t worry,’ he promised her, ‘I’ll play.’
11
They parked at the end of Station Road – that was the name on the sign – next to a small grey utility building. Kim glanced across at Rob as he switched off the ignition and sat for a moment, staring out through the windscreen, his face blank.
He’d been strangely quiet on the way over from Bristol. In fact, now that she thought of it, he’d been somewhat preoccupied all afternoon.
When he’d suggested going somewhere for a walk, she’d shrugged and agreed. A bit of quiet time together after the bustle of the shops might be nice, and afterwards they could maybe go to dinner somewhere.
As they’d pulled out of the car park, she’d taken a couple of minutes to study her reflection in the sun-visor mirror, fix her make-up – she wanted to make sure she looked good for him, especially if they were going to have a romantic stroll somewhere on the way home. But he hadn’t driven back towards Salisbury. As she folded the visor up out of the way, she saw they were on an unfamiliar road.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked as she put her handbag down into the footwell.
‘Wait and see,’ he’d smiled, and she didn’t feel she could ask again.
They passed under the Clifton suspension bridge and followed the river along the base of the gorge. Soon, the city was behind them, the high walls of the valley had fallen away and they were driving through a bleak industrial landscape.
She stole quick sidelong glances at him as he drove. Where was he taking her? Crumbling old factories and flimsy new warehouses slid by. In the distance, several huge wind turbines turned slowly, and evil-looking chimneys breathed white smoke into the sky. Mesh fences crowned with barbed wire hemmed them in on either side of the road. Not the sort of place for a romantic walk. And yet, as she looked at his profile, caught the slight spark in his expression, it was clear he knew exactly where he was going …
And now they were here.
Rob tore his gaze away from the windscreen and reached down to remove the keys from the ignition.
‘Come on,’ he smiled.
She watched him get out, then sighed, gathered up her bag and opened her door. They were at the end of a quiet, residential street, where it angled left to run along a line of small houses. There was a modern brick-built apartment block to the right, but in front of them a tall embankment cut a long, straight line across the end of the street, blocking the view. A tarmac slope led to the top, where there seemed to be a line of stainless-steel railings.
Rob was already moving towards it, walking ahead of her.
‘Up here.’ For a moment, she thought he was beckoning to her, holding out his hand, but then she felt foolish as she heard the car doors remote-locking behind her. ‘Come on.’
Kim followed him as he went before her, striding briskly up the slope and turning to wait for her at the top. She walked up the tarmac, her own pace slowing as she climbed, and the hidden landscape ahead of her slid into view – her eyes drawn first to the Second Seve
rn Crossing away on the right, then to the vast expanse of the estuary itself.
‘Oh! Wow …’
‘I know.’ Rob smiled at her. He turned and walked over to the steel railing that ran along the length of the sea wall. Kim came over to stand beside him, gazing out at the view.
Seeing it all, so suddenly, filled her with awe. The vast sky, with towering outcrops of pale-edged cloud. Fiery cracks, where the sun cast a curtain of bright warm shafts down to heat the water into burning gold.
‘This way.’
She felt very small as she followed him along the top of the sea wall, looking out through the metal railings at the beach below them. Clumps of reeds stood here and there, like dark green islands emerging from the smooth silver mud. There were no ripples on the distant water, just a void of pale grey, broken here and there by smears of dark ground. The bursts of sunlight came and went as they walked, now touching the water, now the beach, even lighting part of the bridge for a moment into pale grey and green.
A single bird wheeled around, flapping as it climbed above them, then banking to soar out over the water. Far to the west, in the haze where the coastline reached out towards its furthest point, the three great wind turbines turned slowly, silently, their long blades reaching taller than the horizon. There was a stillness now, as though the wind were gathering itself, drawing breath before sweeping down along the shoreline.
They reached the end of the railings and walked down onto the shingle and small stones above the tide’s reach.
‘You once asked me what it felt like …’
His voice startled her after the long silence, and she frowned for a second, unsure what he was referring to. And then her small steps faltered as she recalled that moment on a different beach, that single question that he’d felt able to answer. Nervously, she turned her head to look up at him, glimpsing that same fire burning behind his eyes, that same intensity as he remembered.
How it felt to kill.
He was holding her hand, and for a second she felt the urge to draw away from him, but something warned her not to. She swallowed and lowered her eyes.
‘I remember,’ she whispered.
Naysmith turned away from the bridge, looking far off to the left where the footpath led towards the edge of the village, to the rough grass slope that led down to the beach.
‘When you can see – really see – vast distances, it can make you feel insignificant.’
Kim glanced back to him and nodded uncertainly.
‘But imagine standing here, with all of this around you, above you …’ he gestured out at the skyline ‘… and now imagine power – limitless power – flowing through you. You’re in control, in absolute control of everything.’
He paused for a moment, then added, ‘Even life itself.’
Kim stared at him, unsettled but finding herself caught in his words. He slipped his arm around her waist, drawing her close to him.
‘We all do bad things from time to time … and under certain circumstances we’re all capable of terrible things.’ His strong hand gently caressed her midriff as they stared out along the thin tarmac footpath that dwindled into the grey distance. ‘But some of us are able to master the circumstances, grasp that power …’
At first she thought she was shaking, and tried to stop it, to calm herself. But then she realised that it wasn’t her shaking. It was him.
‘I wish I could make you understand what it’s really like – it’s so difficult to put into words …’
Kim’s heart was beating rapidly, her gaze flitting between the bleak coastal path ahead of them and the eerie light in Rob’s eyes. Her breathing quickened as she stood at his side, terrified but also strangely thrilled by this insight he had trusted her with.
And then, without a word, he bowed his head for a second before turning towards her. His hands rose to frame her face, his fingers gently pushing back her hair as he leaned in and kissed her.
Her eyes closed, and her thoughts spiralled away as she gave herself over to the moment. She wished it could last for ever, just the two of them together on the edge of oblivion, where all her fears and doubts gave way to this overwhelming feeling of closeness. Now, in this instant, until she opened her eyes or his lips left hers … he loved her, and she loved him.
When she opened her eyes, he was looking at her. The unsettling hunger was still there, but it was infused with something else now … a longing that made her feel so good. The idea of some stranger losing his life didn’t seem real any more. It was just an abstract fragment of the past, a shadow in her confused thoughts.
Leaning in against his shoulder, she sighed and stared down at the beach. Deep down, part of her yearned to be even closer to him, to know him fully. The way he’d spoken was frightening, but also oddly compelling. She bit her lip, hesitant, unsure what to say.
He touched her chin, lifting her face towards him. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her again, and she parted her lips a little. But he paused, eyes glittering as he studied her face, looking right down into her soul.
‘Imagine it. Imagine how it would feel to walk along this beach in the first light of dawn, rain clouds rolling in, with that sort of power flowing through you.’
Kim hesitated, her eyes flickering briefly towards the grey water. A chill ran through her as she looked at the dark shapes half submerged by the mud. She glanced back at him.
‘I’m not sure I can …’
‘Try.’ His voice was soft, but commanding, kindling her desire to submit. ‘Try for me now …’
And she did. She pushed her thoughts out along the shoreline, picturing a faceless stranger, imagining how it might feel to be so in control, not just of herself but of another; glimpsing what it would take to embrace such a terrible act and such terrible power. She felt the adrenalin tingling in her body, the fear, but also something more.
He smiled.
‘Do you understand what I’m talking about?’
Kim stood there, locked in his gaze. She swallowed slightly and nodded. Her eyes broke free of his and turned to look down at the reeds, which had begun to sway in the wind.
This was where it had happened.
It had to be. And this was his way of telling her, she felt certain of it. Suddenly she wanted to know, wanted to be sure.
‘Who was he?’ She spoke quietly but her words echoed in her head as she stared out across the beach.
Naysmith inclined his head slightly to one side.
‘Who was who?’ He wasn’t going to make it easy for her, but she couldn’t stop now. She bit her lip, and forced herself to say it.
‘The person who you …’ She hesitated. ‘The person who … was here.’
Naysmith stared at her coolly, holding her eyes for a long time without saying anything. She felt the blood draining from her as she realised he wasn’t denying it, that she was right, that it had happened here. Then he turned away from her, to gaze out at a line of reeds on the silver mud.
‘Who said it was a “he”?’ he asked softly.
Kim’s stomach lurched.
Without looking at her, he took her hand and led her back towards the car.
12
Sunday, 15 June
He must be asleep by now. Lying on her right side, keeping her body perfectly still, she listened carefully to his breathing, which had settled to a slow, regular rhythm. Facing towards the middle of the bed made her nervous, but if she had turned her back to him he might have fallen asleep with his arm thrown across her, his body spooning hers. This way was better.
Cautiously, she let her eyelids flicker open, just a little at first, as she fought to make sense of the shapes in the darkness. Looking across the soft curve of her pillow, she could make out the side of his head, silhouetted against the faint blue glow from the alarm clock behind him. Unblinking, her gaze bored into the shadow where she knew his eyes must be, searching for a glint, the slightest movement, anything that might indicate he was watching her.
But there was nothing.
As she grew accustomed to the gloom, she began to make out his features, so familiar to her, now so fearfully close. His eyes were definitely shut. She watched them for a moment, afraid that they might snap open, terrified that he might glimpse the doubt in her heart, but he slept on.
Good.
She listened to his breathing for a little longer, then slowly began to roll herself away from him, gradually easing over onto her back, trying not to disturb the duvet as she slid out from under it.
Reaching the point where she had to turn her head away from him, she strained to hear his breathing, measuring out the rhythm, searching for the tiniest change, but it remained steady. Her shoulder emerged from the side of the duvet, followed by one of her legs. She was balanced on the edge of the bed now, but she had to take it slowly, try and position herself without disturbing him.
One leg extended, her questing toes found the floor. She took a second to steady herself, then reached down until her fingertips brushed across the rug. Still his breathing didn’t alter. Up to this point, she could probably have wriggled back under the covers without him noticing, but now she had to complete her move. Slowly inhaling, she held her breath and let her weight shift fully over, dragging her left leg out from under the duvet so that she was kneeling beside the bed.
Listening carefully, she allowed herself to exhale without making a sound. Then, walking her hands back in towards herself, she rose up on her knees and peered across the dim landscape of the bed.
He hadn’t stirred.
Rolling back onto her heels, Kim rose slowly and silently to her feet, unfolding like a pale flower, naked in the dark. Drawing herself up to her full height, she glanced behind her to make sure she wouldn’t stumble, then began to move backwards, balancing on her toes as she edged away from where he lay.
The door was ajar, and she half turned, carefully placing her fingers on the handle and gently drawing it just a little further open. Then, with one glance back towards the bed, she stepped gingerly through the gap and out into the stillness of the landing.
She moved forward slowly, unsteadily, her bare feet testing the floor with each tentative step. Walking with one arm reaching out in front of her, and the other stretched out at her side, she trailed her fingertips along the smooth surface of the wall for balance. She felt the doorway more than saw it, then searched out the door itself and carefully pushed it open.
Knife Edge Page 8
