She sighed and gently picked up Daisy Rose, whose little body repositioned itself so that her head was now snuggled upon Lily’s neck. Lily kissed her pink cheek, breathed in the sweet scent of baby lotion and powder and then walked Daisy Rose into the nursery.
A half hour later, Lily lit the fragrant row of candles that lined the sunken tub in the master bathroom. She dimmed the lights, walked to the oversized glass shower, and turned on the water. She tested the many showerheads mounted on the tiled ceiling and walls to make certain they were adjusted to the gentlest rain setting. Then she stepped into the shower and caught her breath as the water hit her body. As she closed her eyes, she thought of Robbie.
The memory of their first night together suddenly flashed through her mind. It was the night before her mother had died. She’d spent that day—as she had done since the days after the accident—sitting vigil at her mother’s hospital bedside. By that time, they had moved Daisy into the hospice ward and everyone knew that it would be only a matter of days before she would pass.
Robbie was at the hospital, visiting his brother David, who had been the other passenger in Daisy’s car the night of the crash. That evening in the hospital, Robbie saw how weary Lily was and volunteered to drive her home. Once they arrived at the farmhouse, he ordered her to relax in a hot tub while he cooked dinner for her.
Lily obeyed and soaked for a stress-releasing, prune-inducing hour and emerged feeling almost normal. When she walked downstairs and entered the kitchen, Lily couldn’t believe her eyes. Robbie was in the middle of the room, wearing her Gram’s old apron, surrounded by mixing bowls, spices, and utensils that must have been leftover from the glory days when Grams had cooked large meals at the farm. Lily looked at him and thought Robbie must be the best-looking guy she’d ever seen. Not only was he 6’1” with wavy-brown hair, but he also had a gorgeous smile with dimples for miles and had a way of holding himself confidently. He was comfortable in his own skin.
Lily opened the oven and saw two perfectly overstuffed pot pies happily baking their little hearts out in her mother’s rarely used oven.
“Are you kidding me? Pot pies? You made them from scratch? Pot pies are my very favorites. But I thought they only came frozen.”
Robbie removed his apron and asked, “While the pies are in the oven, would you mind if I get cleaned up?”
“Oh, of course you can. Just go up the stairs, take a left, and the bathroom’s right there.” While Robbie headed upstairs, Lily walked back into the living room, stretched out cat-style on the couch, and listened to the rain on the roof. She was transfixed by the fire dancing in front of her. Earlier in the evening, while leaving the hospital, she had felt dejected, grumpy, and tired. But now, thanks to a long soak in the tub, the presence of Robbie, and the promise of a hearty meal, she finally felt relaxed.
Robbie seemed like one of the good ones. Now he was someone her Mom would have chosen for her. She could hear Daisy now: “Lily of the Valley, he’s handsome, he has manners, he loves his mother, he’s a doctor, and he is not an actor!” Lily laughed to herself because, in the past, she would have totally avoided this type of man. If it was someone her mother wanted her to be with, unfortunately that was the big, fat kiss of death for that guy. She wouldn’t give him a second glance. Jamie fit right into her then-picture of terrific. Cute, hot body, out-of-work actor and her mother absolutely did not like him from the minute they met.
Robbie emerged fresh from cleaning up and they sat down to eat. The meal was extraordinary and after the final crusty crumb had been devoured, Robbie suggested they move to the living room and sit near the fire. Once they were comfortably seated on the couch, Lily asked Robbie to tell her all about the organization he was involved with, Doctors Without Borders.
“It’s actually called Médecins Sans Frontières, an international medical humanitarian group that was started in the early 1970s by doctors and journalists.” He leaned toward Lily. His eyes lit up and she could see how passionate he was about the subject.
“It provides independent, impartial assistance in more than sixty countries to people whose survival is threatened. They have to be impartial while they provide first-rate medical care. But, Lily, while the care they give is important, they must also remain politically impartial to atrocities taking place in these third-world countries. You can’t imagine what’s going on there. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen.” He shook his head and closed his eyes briefly, as if to block out terrible memories.
He drank his wine and continued. “They’re not supposed to get emotionally involved, ever, but while giving medical care to the people of Rwanda, the group was able to call for an international military response to the genocide they were witnessing. And in 2004 and 2005, they called on the United Nations Security Council to pay greater attention to the crises in Darfur.”
“It sounds amazing, Robbie. It must feel rewarding to know that you’re making a difference in so many lives.”
“Well, I know it made a difference in my life; that’s why I volunteered for another mission.”
“So when do you leave and where will you go?” She had asked, trying to ignore the lump that was growing in her throat.
“That depends. I’m supposed to leave in a couple of weeks. I know I’ll be going to Africa. Not exactly sure what part they’ll send me to. Wherever I’m needed most, I imagine. I’ll be gone for almost nine months this time.”
The lump was now the size of a boulder, and Lily swallowed hard.
He smiled at her. “Anyway, enough about me. Tell me about your acting. My mother is a huge fan of your show. I’ve never seen it, but she says you’re a big star.”
“Oh no you don’t,” Lily protested. “You really expect me to talk about my unimportant role on a silly television series after hearing about your life-saving work in third-world countries? I think not, Dr. Rosen.” She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for dinner and for staying with me, but it’s getting late and I’m exhausted.”
“You go on to bed, Lil, and I’ll clean up the dishes. By that time, the fire will be out. I’ll lock up when I leave. Have a good sleep, I really enjoyed our evening together.”
Before she had a chance to say anything, the phone rang. Lily recognized the number as the hospital switchboard and stared at the phone for a second, afraid to answer it for fear of what she might hear at the other end.
“Hello?”
“Miss Lockwood, it’s Lydia, your mother’s nurse.” Without realizing it, Lily had grabbed Robbie’s hand for support and squeezed tight.
“I’m just calling to tell you that there are some substantial changes. Your mother’s breathing is considerably more shallow and faster than it was this afternoon.”
“Shallow and faster—what does that mean, exactly? What should I do? Should I come back to the hospital? I want to be with her when…”
“Stay home. Get your rest. We still have time. Tomorrow, I am sure, is going to be a trying day for you. I will certainly call you if anything changes.”
Lily thanked her as she released her death grip on Robbie’s hand and hung up. She relayed the message to Robbie, who looked genuinely pained. “I’m here for you, Lil, whatever you need.”
Her feet felt leaden as she struggled up the stairs and into her mother’s bedroom. Her heart was racing, and even though she was dead-tired, she knew that sleep would not come easily. Everything felt like it was moving in warp speed and it was beyond her power to slow it down. What was she going to do without her mother? How could she live in a world without Daisy? A surge of grief and loss overtook her and she was swept away in waves of sadness. Already there was an emptiness, a physical void that she’d never experienced before. For the first time in her life, she felt truly alone. All she could do was lie on her stomach, bury her face deep in her mother’s pillow, and sob.
Robbie knocked at her bedroom door. “Lily, are you all right?” He sounded concerned. “May I come in?”
Lily was
in a full-blown ugly cry and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. In between sobs and gasps, she hiccupped uncontrollably.
The door slowly creaked open and Robbie walked over to the bed. She turned over and sat up. He hugged her and the floodgates opened even wider. She wept while he rocked her. She couldn’t control herself. She didn’t even try. Yet before long her tears slowed down and finally dried up. She took a breath and wiped her face.
“I’m scared to be alone tonight; will you stay here and sleep next to me?”
“Of course I will. Just lie down and relax.” He plumped the pillow and pulled the blankets over her, took off his shoes, and was careful to lie on top of the covers, next to her. He stroked Lily’s hair and told her that he was there for her and wasn’t going to leave, not as long as she needed him. Lily finally fell into a much-needed sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night, she awoke, turned to him, and laid her head on his chest. While she’d been asleep, he had taken off his shirt and had slid under the covers.
His breathing was calm, so she knew Robbie was in a deep sleep. Lily felt him stir and with his eyes still closed, he tenderly began to stroke her hair. Without a word, he kissed the top of her head. Her heart beat so hard and fast that she thought it very well might catapult out of her body. She took a deep breath to quiet her nerves and stroked and kissed his chest.
They were both fully awake by that time, but neither one of them uttered a word. They didn’t have to. It was clear what was happening and words would shatter the almost mystical feeling that was building in that moment.
Robbie kissed her and pulled her on top of him. He took his time; his lips were soft, and his kisses that started out tentatively became deep and passionate. His capable hands found their way under her nightgown, which he lifted gently over her head and tossed aside. His mouth never left Lily’s as he caressed her neck and back. His hands skillfully traveled down her body and rested on her bottom. He squeezed and pulled her in to him. Her body immediately responded. With ease, he gently turned her so that he was on top. He tantalized her breasts with his mouth, flicking his tongue over and around her nipples. She felt on fire and arched her back, wrapping her legs tightly around him and drawing him into her. He pulled back, looked into Lily’s eyes; smiled at her and slowed way down. He lifted his hips away from her and when he moved back, his body just barely touched hers. He teased her, played with her, almost entering, and then he pulled away. He did this over and over again, until Lily was in a red-hot frenzy and couldn’t take it. All the anger, sorrow, and frustration she had been feeling the last week fueled her; she finally pulled him into her, hard. The moan that escaped her was a sound she had never heard herself make before, almost as if it came from the very depths of her soul.
Now, standing under the shower, trancelike, Lily poured the lavender soap gel into her hands and washed her neck, shoulders, and breasts. She closed her eyes and imagined Robbie was there with her—that his hands, not hers, were slowly caressing her body—and that his hands were between her legs. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him standing there, watching her. In her dream state, she did not stop touching herself. She closed her eyes again.
Her lack of protest was an unspoken invitation to Jamie that he could proceed. He undressed and stepped into the shower behind her, kissing her neck and shoulders. His hands covered hers as she continued to touch herself. As if perfectly choreographed, they moved in sync to their own rhythm and to that of the falling water. It was sensual dance, one they’d shared hundreds of times before. She lifted her arms over her head and placed them around his neck, pulling him to her. She leaned into him and let the water wash away all the memories that had lingered for far too long.
Chapter 3
“My ears must certainly be clogged, because it sounded almost as if you said you’d actually slept with Jamie.” Jessica grabbed and shook her left earlobe in a mock gesture of clearing her ears. It was the day after The Tony Awards and Lily was having an early dinner at her favorite bistro, the Spring Street Natural Restaurant and Bar, in Soho, with her three gal pals—Jessica, Kristin, and Jodee—before she had to head uptown for her evening performance at The Broadway Theater.
She had known Jessica and Kristin since grammar school, but it was only recently, since she’d moved back to New York, that they had reconnected and renewed their friendships. They’d been extremely close growing up; in fact, in the late 1980s their teachers used to call them “the Madonna triplets” because they dressed like miniature versions of the pop star. Every day they would come to school wearing miniskirts and black leggings, with bows adorning their long hair, numerous black bracelets dangling from their wrists, and lace fingerless gloves covering their hands. Long chains with large crosses always swung from their tiny necks. Kristin and Lily, the two brunettes, were envious of Jessica’s blonde hair, since it gave her look a more authentic Madonna edge.
The trio was inseparable. They were together every day after school, and most weekends had a sleepover at one of the girls’ homes. The families spent holidays together, because the girls couldn’t bear to be apart.
When Lily and Daisy moved three thousand miles away to California, it was hard for Lily to maintain her close relationship with Jessica and Kristin. Phone calls were difficult because of the three-hour time difference and expensive long-distance charges. So she lost touch with them through the years. When Kristin and Jessica read in the newspaper that Daisy had passed away, they reached out to Lily and the trio quickly renewed their friendship. Jodee recently joined the group to make an even four.
Jodee was Lily’s outspoken co-star in The Smallest Life, and from the first day of rehearsal they became fast friends. Jodee’s claim to fame, besides being a talented Broadway actress, was that she closely resembled the singer Beyoncé. So much so that she couldn’t walk down the street without at least ten people stopping and asking “Beyoncé” for her autograph. After a while, it was easier for Jodee to simply sign the autographs and continue on her way. She signed her own name and explained to Lily it was a marketing strategy that helped build her “brand.” Lily introduced Jodee to the other two and the trio became an even four. The women now shared their lives, their stories, and their clothes with one another.
“I said I had sex with Jamie,” Lily smiled sheepishly. “There wasn’t much sleeping going on.”
The waitress walked over to the table. “Can I get you ladies anything else?”
“Yes a lobotomy for my good friend over here.” Jessica pointed to Lily. The other three laughed.
“Just the check please,” Kristin waited until the waitress was out of earshot. “Lily must have a very good reason for sleeping with the guy who almost singlehandedly ruined her life. Let’s hear what it is.”
“Well, he is Daisy Rose’s father…”
“Oh girl, do not even think of going there. The ‘baby daddy’ excuse won’t fly at this table.” Jodee picked up her fork and swung it around for added emphasis.
“Well, I’ll admit I was a little tipsy last night.” Lily smiled. “He was sleeping on the couch, holding the baby. They looked so adorable together that it melted my heart.”
“So take a photo, don’t fuck the douchebag!” Jessica picked up her wine glass and clinked it with Jodee’s and Kristin’s.
Lily ignored them and continued. “Well the truth of the matter is that sex with Jamie was always hot. And, might I remind you, I haven’t been with anyone since…well, you all know. Anyway, later on, when the baby woke up, Jamie got her and brought her into our bed. For the first time, it felt like we were a real family. It was nice, it really was. Anyway, he told me that he loved me, always has, always will.”
Jessica rolled her eyes “Should I be the one to say it?” the other two nodded their heads.
“First of all: bullshit. Second: can I remind you of a certain pre-production party you attended in Beverly Hills?”
“You don’t have to remind me, trust me, I clearly remember.” The waitress
dropped off the check. Lily snatched it up before the other three could reach for it and took out her American Express Platinum card. “It’s on me. Let’s call it the Tony post-win celebratory dinner.”
“Or we can call it the trying to buy our silence so we don’t give you a hard time, ‘cause you screwed up dinner.” Jodee said.
Kristin gave Jodee a “behave-yourself” look. “I can totally understand. You didn’t plan it—it was a one-time thing—let’s call it an accident.”
“Seriously, an accident? Like they accidently crashed their bodies into one another because it was so dark in the room?” Jodee asked.
Lily laughed along with her friends. “Listen, I know that even though you’re all outspoken and certainly don’t hold back one single itsy bitsy iota of a judgment that you may have about the decisions I make in life, you all love me.” She stood up.
“I’ve got to run and pick up a dress I saw at bebe. Jodee, do you want to come with? We can share a cab to the theater.”
“And miss all the shit they’re gonna say about you after you’re gone? No way.” Jodee winked. “That’s the best part.”
“Okay. And Kristin, thanks for sticking up for me against these she-devils, but it wasn’t a one-time thing. As a matter of fact I’m having dinner with Jamie tonight after the show.” As her friends groaned, Lily blew them a kiss and left the restaurant.
Later on, in the cab ride to the theater district, Lily received a text from Margaret, Daisy Rose’s nanny:
Miss Lockwood thank you ever so much for visiting Eaven, she loves her doll. I will be back to work in a few days.
Earlier in the day, before she met the girls for dinner, Lily visited Margaret’s seven-year-old daughter who was recovering in New York Presbyterian Lower Manhattan Hospital from the emergency appendectomy she had had the night before. When the elevator doors opened onto the Pediatric Ward, Lily was greeted by two nurses, who had been contacted by the security guard on the main floor to advise them that the famous actress was on her way up. Both nurses were dressed in bright-pink scrubs and had miniature stuffed animals clipped to the sides of the stethoscopes around their necks.
The Silver Cord: The Lily Lockwood Series: Book Two Page 3
